Thursday, November 30, 2006

Condi Relies Heavily on the Comfort Provided By Her Invisible, Spherical Friend in Jericho

United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks during a news conference with Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, not seen, following their meeting in the West Bank town of Jericho, Thursday, Nov. 30, 2006. Rice called on Israelis and Palestinians Thursday to step up efforts to achieve peace, saying neither side should take actions that would prejudge a final accord. 'Hopefully we can take this moment to accelerate our efforts and intensify our efforts toward the two-state solution that we all desire,' Rice said at a news conference with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in the West Bank town of Jericho.(AP Photo/Kevin Frayer)
Yes, well, not much else to say about it, but I'll always post new pictures of Condi squeezing her imaginary tribble as they become available. Also, OMG, for probably not the last time, she must once again disappoint the world with her presidential non-aspirations:
PARIS (AFP) -- US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has insisted she does not plan to seek the US presidency in 2008, while hailing women's growing role in world politics, in an interview with French television.

"I'm very glad that women are running, and women are winning in many places," Rice told TF1 television late Wednesday. "I was at the inauguration of President Johnson-Sirleaf of Liberia and for President Bachelet in Chile."

"But I won't be one of them," she told the channel from the NATO summit in the Latvian capital Riga, adding that she was "an academic at heart."

"Hopefully I, as secretary of state, can still help the United States to achieve some very important milestones.... But when I've done that, I'll go home to California and teach students about this experience," she said.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Stephen Hadley and Christopher Walken: Ever Seen Them in the Same Room at the Same Time?



With Sparklefave Stevie in the spotlight so much right now, I totally wanted to do something special about him, like a thrilling History of Stephen Hadley's Hair or something like that. Unfortunately, there's just nothing to be found on the web, so we'll perhaps never the answer to that crucial feathered or layered? question in regard to the 1970s. That obviously makes me sad. There could well even be a mullet or ponytail in his past, but I can't be sure. My God! I just can't be sure!

After recovering from my feelings of sadness and longing, I did get a laugh from the Google image search results for Mr. Hadley, the third page of which featured an anomalous Walken in the sea of wonks. Oh, it's so easy to mix them up, isn't it? Unfortunately, upon seeing the above my mind was suddenly flooded with images of Hadley dancing to Fatboy Slim, Hadley riding in a boat with Natalie Wood, Hadley seeing people's futures when he touches them, Hadley smuggling a pocket watch in his butt...

And then I screamed.

UPDATE: Stephen Hadley Still Getting in the Way

President Bush attends the NATO summit with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley in Riga, November 29, 2006. (Jim Young/Reuters)
I characterized Mr. Hadley as a cockblocker last week for standing in between Condi and a potential love interest. And look where he's sitting today! Seriously, Stephen, she just isn't that into you.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Damn That George and His Itching Powder!

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, scratches her head while U.S. President George W. Bush, left, meets with Estonian President Toomas Hendrik Ilves, at Kadriorg Palace, Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2006 in Tallinn, Estonia. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)
Here's the real head scratcher: George 'n' Condi are doing what in Estonia? Oh, right, they're on their way to the NATO summit. I was thinking that maybe they should just send the lame ducklings to fictional countries from now on, like Kazick Kazack that Borat place. Sexy time!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Activity Time! How Many Hairdresser Clichés Can You Spot?



I never thought it would be possible for Agape Press to get awesomer, but their new "Cartoon of the Week" feature accomplishes this seemingly impossible task. It's been going for a month or so now, but I've been patiently waiting for just the right cartoon to feature here, and boy, did they ever deliver today (see above)!

My favorite part is the necklace the evil, Druid-like priest is wearing. I mean, tsk, that peace shit is so totally gay and anti-Christian. Ew.

The cartoons are provided by the almost impossibly superfantastic jcuministries.com, a site which offers endless opportunities for contemplation and laughing 'n' pointing. Here's my favorite juxtaposition from their home page:



Jesus died for your zither, bitch.

UPDATE for all the twatwaffles who feel they must take me down a few pegs by informing me that the above is an Autoharp™, not a zither: yes, it is indeed an Autoharp™... a type of zither. Now please get a life.

How 'Bout a Mid-Day Condi Break?

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice waves as she arrives for a press conference in Bogor, Indonesia, November 20. Rice will attend a Middle East democratization conference in Jordan this week amid a flurry of diplomatic initiatives in the troubled region, the State Department has announced.(AFP/File/Jewel Samad)
Oh Condi, how I love you (obvs, duh) during the slow start to what promises to be a slow news week. I mean, I'm sorry, but I don't consider Black Friday™ and Cyber Monday™ recaps to be real news, OK? So anyway, like, the world is totally exploding, so that means paaaaaarty for Condi, right? Right:



Um, is frisky Condi goosing that guy on the right or what? Clearly an awesome time is being had by all, because you know why? Press conferences have the best canapés, and it's all just cocktail chatter to these folks anyway.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Krauthammer Takes On Murphy Brown Borat



What is it with Republicans jousting with fictional characters? From Quayle vs. Murphy Brown to Falwell vs. Tinky Winky to Margaret Spellings vs. Buster the Bunny, how long will it be before Cheney challenges Jem and the Holograms to a death-match? It's almost as if, tired of sparring with people who can formulate real arguments to contrast with their illogical views, the Republicans feel more comfortable debating characters who don't actually exist. Clever!

This time, dependable blowhard Charles Krauthammer decides that this Borat issue simply must be addressed in the editorial pages of the Washington Post. There is little evidence that Charlie has actually seen Borat's hit movie, as most of his rhetoric is aimed at dog-eared episodes from the Ali G show, but this doesn't stop the Krautmeister from hitching his wagon to the runaway hit train to put forward a flimsy argument that the United States is the most religiously tolerant country in the world (true), and is, therefore, devoid of religious bigots (false) because, you see, it's unfair to include hicks 'n' rubes in the survey.

Um, whatever. What Krauthammer really wants to say, though, is that this is yet another example of mean, snobby liberals pointing and laughing at those hicks and rubes, because it's unfair, apparently, to make fun of stupid people. Well, considering that Krauthammer and his pals depend on stupid people for their very existence, his concern is well-founded.

Krautykins also conveniently overlooks racism as the primary subject of the Borat film, but since he hasn't, apparently, seen the flick, this is understandable. Furthermore, he also doesn't account for the fact that the Borat film wasn't restricted to release only in America, but is being screened all over the world, a point which makes its "anti-semitism and racism is ludicrous" message far more pointed.

Coming soon: David Brooks arm wrestles a Bratz doll.

UPDATE: Oops, commenting enabled.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Education Secretary Loses to Washed-Up, Z-List Sitcom Actor on Jeopardy


In the end, Spellings said she thinks the effort was worth it. She came in second behind the actor Michael McKean, best known for his role as 'Lenny' on the television show "Laverne and Shirley" and for the movie "This Is Spinal Tap."

Placing third was actor Hill Harper, from the television show "CSI: NY."

"I think I held my own," Spellings said in an interview Tuesday, hours before the show aired. She noted McKean had an edge, having been on the show before.
Or maybe the seemingly nice (but not nice at all) Education Czar was all distracted, her mind filled with conspiracy theories featuring PBS and homo-lovin' cartoon bunnies.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Great News for Princess Sparkle Pony, Not so Great for Ohio: Jean Schmidt Wins!



It's official: Jean Schmidt has been declared the official winner in her race to not be a one-term wonder. Hooray!

Just Passing Through

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, center, is acknowledged by President Bush, not pictured, as he speaks after a breakfast with troops at Hickam Air Force Base in Honolulu, Hawaii, Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)
So what was my constant content provider up to today? Well... um... not much, really, but I loved this supercute picture of her surrounded by a harm-preventative ring of adorable soldiers. And they're clapping for Condi! Yay! And it looks like she had a way less frowny time of it than over the past few days, so this will give her those unhappy Klingon lines in her forehead a chance to plump out again, so yay for that, too! Um... that's it!

Teach Your Children



Aquapets are sure to be popular gifts in kinkier households this Christmas. I'm guessing the button on the left ball is vibrate, and the right is... thrust? Ow. OMG, videos of this toy are sure to end up on Xtube any minute now*. Please don't forward them to me.

Swish of the combable tail to Pam's House Blend for this one. She, naturally, prefers the Dora the Explorer model.

*Be thankful for small favors:


Dr. Ferragamo Finally Gets Leid

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, center, along with President Bush and first lady Laura Bush, arrive to at Hickam Air Force Base in Honolulu, Hawaii, Monday, Nov. 20, 2006. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)
And it feels so good! I think she's totally glad this trip, maybe her frowniest ever, is over. Usually Condi has a grand time on her little visits, getting entertained and benignly ruling the matching armchair photo-op set. True, she never really gets anything done, and none of her hosts ever listen to her... but they like her, they really like her, even if they never take a single word she says seriously. This time, though, everywhere she went, there was Bush lingering around and reminding everybody who signs her paychecks. It totally cramps a gal's style. Next trip, let's hope Condi flies solo, and then perhaps she'll really get leid. I mean laid. Whatever.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Obligatory Borat Reference: Karen Hughes Does Not Participate in Kazakh Jokes... Or Does She?


Photo:Paul J. Richards/AFP, 4/06
Though Kazakh officials have decided to exploit Borat, their embrace of the Gypsy-hunting sexist buffoon is still at arm's length.

At an embassy reception here Wednesday, graced by Washington luminaries such as veteran Senator Orrin Hatch and Bush's public diplomacy czar Karen Hughes, Borat was persona non grata, though he must have been on everyone's mind.

As the ambassador gave a speech about US-Kazakh relations, however, two Central Asian diplomats snatched a hushed conversation at the back of a reception room.

"Jagshemash!" whispered one, using the catchphrase of Kazakhstan's supposed second-best television reporter, and raised a glass of wine. "I like!" his friend answered, thumbs up, Borat style.
Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that Ms. "Kick Ass" Hughes was involved in any of the film-inspired levity, but anybody who has seen the movie is bound to get a chuckle out of the photo I've chosen to illustrate this otherwise off-topic post. Any excuse to get Karen's picture on the Pink Pony will do!

And by the way, this post is dedicated to the USC Center on Public Diplomacy. They know why.

Stephen Hadley: Cockblocker

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley listen as President Bush and Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono participate in a joint press availability at Bogor Palace in Bogor, Indonesia, Monday, Nov. 20, 2006. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Bush, Putin Mortified when Everybody Shows Up Wearing the Same Dress

Dressed in traditional 'ao dai,' Japanese Prime Minister Shintaro Abe, front row left, walks past U.S. President Geroge W. Bush, top left, and Russian President Vladimir Putin as the leaders of the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) gather for the joint declaration in Hanoi Sunday, Nov. 19, 2006. (AP Photo/Japan Pool)
Damn those Vietnamese shopkeepers! This would never happen in Washington. Tsk. Also, where was Condi? Alas, I guess this was a boys-only affair. (Update: no it wasn't; see below.)

UPDATE: Wonkette has an awe-inspiring gallery roundup.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Is the Whole World Holding Its Breath for the Next Two Years, or What?

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice looks over President George W. Bush 's shoulder as they visit the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC) in Hanoi November 18, 2006. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
OK, you know that it's really, really bad for GW when even Condi is scowling at the back of his head, right? It's almost like she's saying, "OMG, I could get something done if you weren't here." And I'd agree if I thought that she was capable of getting anything done anywhere, anytime. But, like, everywhere they go on this trip, people are totally all "Um, we're going to nod in your general direction, but we're, like, totally biding our time until you're out of office." And I think George really has that figured out now. Better late than never!

But can we get back to the really important stuff, Condi's wardrobe? Yay! Well, I have a special treat for John at By the Bayou, because he was totally just asking me about a certain outfit of hers just days ago, and OMG, she's wearing it right now! It's a kinda track-suit-couture kinda thing, and John, here's the total overall view you wanted:


(AP Photo/ How Hwee Young, POOL)

I'm dubbing the color "Marshmellow Poo". I'm so glad we have this opportunity to understand Condi's outfits together.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Hot, Adulterous, Republican-on-Republican Action!



Treasured Pony Pal™ C-SPAN secret agent Fritz points out that the ordinarily dreary Congressional cable TV station can be a whole lot more exciting if you're deaf:
Closed captioning from today's press conference. Rep. Adam Putnam is speaking as he introduces Rep. Kay Granger:

13:38:41
THEY WILL SEE THAT WE ARE A

13:38:44
UNIFIED TEAM, FORWARD-LOOKING,

13:38:46
CONCERNED ABOUT OUR FUTURE, WITH

13:38:47
THE VISION FOR A BRIGHTER TOMORROW.

13:38:50
WE LOOK FORWARD TO LOOKING WITH

13:38:51
ALL -- WORKING WITH ALL OF YOU.

13:38:55
I AM PLEASED TO INTRODUCE

13:38:57
ANOTHER NEW MEMBER OF THE

13:38:58
REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP, A

13:39:03
TERRIFIC INARTICULATE SPEAKER,

13:39:04
KAY GRANGER.

13:39:06
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

13:39:07
WHAT YOU SEE AS A GREAT TEAM.

13:39:14
WE ACTUALLY HAVE ALREADY STARTED

13:39:17
WORKING AND MAKING OUT
Well, Mr. Putnam, maybe she'd be a more articulate speaker if you crazy kids would stop making out!

Indonesian Arts Community Prepares Warm Welcome for Bush

An Indonesian student demonstrator takes a picture of himself with an anti-Bush sign during a protest against U.S. President George Bush Friday Nov. 17, 2006 in front of the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta, Indonesia. Student and Islamic groups have been making nearly daily demonstrations against an upcoming visit by to Indonesia by Bush who will also visit Singapore and attend the APEC meeting in Vietnam.(AP Photo/Achmad Ibrahim)
A very warm welcome:

Pirate-Themed Gala Held in Condi's Honor

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, and Tran Thi Kim Chi, the wife of Vietnam's President Nguyen Minh Triet, attend a dinner hosted by Triet at the International Convention Center in Hanoi Friday, Nov. 17, 2006. Rice and U.S. President George W. Bush are attending the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit in Vietnam. (AP Photo/Reinhard Krause, Pool)
OMG, just as I was about the lower the Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System to it's bottommost, saddest rung, Condi has an updo evening with ruffles 'n' girly wonderfulness! Yay! Can we get a better look at that outfit, please?



Avast, ye scallywags! Where's her Svarovski crystal-encrusted eye patch, I wonder?

UPDATE: OMG, look at Crazy Eyes' outfit:


Thursday, November 16, 2006

There Wasn't a Dry Eye In the House

U.S. First lady Laura Bush sits with Singapore Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong, right, and U.S. Ambassador to Singapore Patricia Herbold as U.S. President Bush makes remarks at the National University of Singapore in Singapore, Thursday, Nov. 16, 2006. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)
Well, clearly everybody loves to listen to George Bush speak, his dulcet tones embracing them like a warm, downy, angora blanket of luv and compassion. And I thought I was the only one!

Condi 'n' Taro Enjoy Cockfight in Hanoi

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) meets Japan's Foreign Minister Taro Aso at an Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) ministerial meeting in Hanoi, November 16, 2006. (Kham/Reuters)
Or midget wrestling. What do you think they're looking at?

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

U.S. State Secretary Condoleezza Rice, center, poses for a group photo with South Korean Acting Foreign Minister Yu Myung-hwan, left, South Korean Trade Minister Kim Hyun-chong, 2nd from left, U.S. Trade Representative Susan Schwab, back of Rice, Thai Foreign Minister Nitya Pibulsonggram, 2nd from right, and Thai Minister of Commerce Krirk-Krai Jirapaet on the sideline of an Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC)'s ministerial meeting in Hanoi Thursday, Nov. 16, 2006. (AP Photo/Shah Marai, Pool)
Ahhhh, yes, it's all about the photo-op, and Condi, of course, stands out effortlessly from her dowdy, black-clad diplofriends. And forget the whole anti-terrorism thing, because it was really all about Condi's belated birthday party! Yes, the awesome Dr. Ferragamo is forever-young, but technically she did turn 52 on Tuesday. The funniest part, though, of the photo shoot was when she accidentally dropped her invisible friend and, naturally, hilarity ensued:

Happy Birthday, Condi!

Harmonic Convergence



Eagle-eyed Pony Pal™ Mr. Dork, Esquire noticed and captured the above yesterday, an unsually perceptive confluence of stories on the Washington Post's home page. It's always totally fun when things line up so appropriately. A toss of the gorgeous, combable mane to you, Mr. Dork!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

MacKay Publicly Calls Off Fake Relationship with Condi



Canuck diplohunk Peter Mackay made the world cry today:
HANOI (AFP) - Canada's foreign minister laughed off talk of resuming his close relationship with US Secretary of State
Condoleezza Rice as the two envoys prepared to meet at an Asia-Pacific summit.

"It's strictly professional and strictly platonic," Peter MacKay told AFP, blushing slightly when asked about prospects of a moonlight walk in Hanoi.

Sparks appeared to fly in September when Rice, 51, and MacKay, 40, shared warm moments during her visit to Canada, clasping hands and appearing to look deep into each other's eyes after a press conference.
*sniff* I hope he at least had the decency to text message Condi before declaring his lack of romantic interest in her so heartlessly. If this doesn't prove he's gay, I don't know what could.

Oh, Oh!

U.S. President George W. Bush, right, walks with Russia's President Vladimir Putin after their talks during a refueling stop at Vnukovo International Airport in Moscow, Russia, en route to Singapore Wednesday, Nov. 15, 2006. Bush, eager for Russia's help in resolving nuclear disputes with North Korea and Iran, tended to the sometimes frosty Washington-Moscow relationship Wednesday by paying a quick call on Russian President Vladimir Putin. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)
Uh, OK... whatever. Get a load of this:
"We, the United States, and others who might be threatened by these developments will have to look at how to respond and inevitably I think people will have to look at the question of pre-emption," the official told reporters.

"I think it's inevitable that any American administration, not just this administration but future administrations, will have to look at pre-emptive strategies," he said.

He was not saying that the United States was going to launch a pre-emptive strike "tomorrow," he said.
Should I clear my calendar for Friday, then?

Monday, November 13, 2006

OMG, I'm a Genius!

I'm pleased, and just a little rattled, to present my idea for the GOP's next campaign ad strategy. Forget television, forget buttons, even forget hiring homeless people to pass out deceptive sample ballots, because the future is here! Just imagine: you're at a bar, you excuse yourself to use the restroom, and upon emptying your bladder, you suddenly hear a tiny voice saying, "Hi, I'm Michael Steele, and I love puppies!" Looking down at the source of the announcement, you see this:



Yes, I'm absolutely certain that talking urinal targets will be the next *ahem* wave in political advertisements. And if you think my golden idea is implausible, well, you're thrillingly wrong! The technology is already here!

This is my reaching-across-the-aisle olive leaf to the Republican Party. You're welcome.

An Unexamined Scarf is Not Worth Wearing

Austria's Foreign Minister Ursula Plassnik (R) talks with her German counterpart Frank-Walter Steinmeier at the start of an E.U. foreign and defence ministers joint meeting in Brussels November 13, 2006. REUTERS/Thierry Roge (BELGIUM)
There are certain searches I perform daily (Condoleezza, Karen Hughes, Laura Bush, you know, all the hot chicks), but none of the results are ever more magical than the occasional surprise Ursula Plassnik appearances. Oh, how I love her. And, oh, how I love her scarves (new Pony Pals™ and nostalgic types may wish to catch up on the history of Ursula's scarves here, here, here, here and here).

Today, apparently, the fabulous Austrian giantess was caught unprepared and scarfless for a photo-op. Undaunted, she reached for the nearest beach towel, rolled it up and fashioned it, noose-like, around her mighty neck.

Bestill my heart.

Mel Martinez: Out of the Dog House



OK, so Florida guy Mel Martinez has a dream date with the Republican Party, and he gets to be in charge! Yay! This is good news for political satirists. Is everybody forgetting that he's the guy who handed that naughty Terry Shiavo talking points thingee to --whoopsie!-- Tom Harkins, thus turning the whole Shiavo mess into a monumental blunder which helped end the GOP's reign of terror? I guess they wanted that Hispanic surname to lead the party so badly they were willing to forgive that little oops.

Speaking of dogs, the real loser, again, is Sparklefave Michael "Puppy Lover" Steele, who blew his chance to lead the robot elephant parade with his fake "Democrat" sample ballot, the thing that made everybody in Baltimore and Prince George's County decide that, puppies or not, they hated him after all. The whole sorry episode is delightfully summed up in today's Washington Post, and even better in last week's Philadelphia Daily News.

Maybe, come January, he can get a job at the Humane Society?

Ventriloquism?

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert (R) and US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice smile moments before their meeting in Washington on 12 November 2006. Olmert is set to meet US President George W. Bush for talks that will focus on Iran's nuclear ambitions and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Photo:Moshe Milner/AFP
Next: Condi sings "Total Eclipse of the Heart" while Mr. Olmert drinks a glass of water.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Condoleezza-in-Chief


Condi 'n' Rummy in happier times earlier this year. You can tell she's totally already plotting his demise.

OK, so, yes, we know the story: Rummy resigned because he felt totally bad about the elections, and Bush said, like, OK bye! Ohhh, no, that's not how it went down according to the NY Times. It was --who else?-- Condi:
While Mr. Gates, a former director of central intelligence, had long been considered for a variety of roles, over the past two months Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and the national security adviser, Stephen J. Hadley, quietly steered the White House toward replacing Donald H. Rumsfeld with Mr. Gates, who had worked closely with Ms. Rice under the first President Bush. One senior participant in those discussions, who declined to be identified by name while talking about internal deliberations, said, “everyone realizes that we don’t have much time to get this right” and the first step is to get “everyone driving on the same track.”

White House officials said that goal may be difficult to accomplish in the seventh year of an administration. Ms. Rice and Mr. Rumsfeld never managed to resolve their differences, especially after their arguments over the handling of the occupation came into public view in late summer 2003. As national security adviser during Mr. Bush’s first term, Ms. Rice was unable to halt a war between the State Department and the Pentagon that put senior officials in the departments in a state of constant conflict.

The question now is whether it is simply too late to achieve President Bush’s goal of a stable and democratic Iraq, even if Mr. Gates and Ms. Rice are able to work together as smoothly in altering policy as they did 15 years ago on a very different kind of problem, managing the American response to the dissolution of the Soviet Union.
So Condi and that freak Hadley cooked this up in their own special little oven? Delicious.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Wary After the Midterm Elections, Condi Brings Out the Beloved Figure Skaters

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) smiles as figure skating champion Michelle Kwan speaks at the Treaty Room of the State Department in Washington November 9, 2006. Rice named Kwan the public diplomacy ambassador to represent American values especially to young people and sports enthusiasts. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)
Is there any PR stunt too small for Condi? Nope.

Unfunny

Pennsylvania Republican candidate for the US Senate Rick Santorum concedes the race to Democratic challenger Bob Casey while his daughter Sarah Marie cries in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, November 7, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Cohn (UNITED STATES)
Some people seem to think the photos of Santorum's concession speech are hilarrrious, because what could be funnier than sobbing children?

May I briefly step outside the "Princess Sparkle Pony" persona? These photos don't fill me with glee; they fill me with horror and loathing. They bring several things to mind:
  • If the children were that upset, why did they drag them onto the stage with them? What kind of unfeeling jerk subjects his children to such public stress?
  • Santorum obviously failed to prepare his children for the possibility of his electoral loss, hence their heightened shock and dismay.
  • The Santorum family's emotional investment in this race seems to border on the psychotic.
  • Why are the children that upset? The Santorums are famous for home-schooling their many children, and their exaggerated response to Daddy's loss seems to point toward a complete disconnection from what most of us would consider to be the "normal" way to behave in public. How will these sheltered, bizarre children fare in the "real" world?
I could go on and on. But, finally, why are so many people amused by this tragic, terrible scene? It makes my skin crawl. From The Hill:
Most of the reveling was of the fun, slightly inebriated variety, but the Dems did show they could, on occasion, go negative. When the big screens in the ballroom showed Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) surrounded by his crying kids while making a heartfelt concession speech to Bob Casey, partiers did mock the poor Santorum tots.
That's not funny, that's sick.

Sorry about that. I'll get off my high horse and back on the Pink Pony as soon as I stop vomiting.

Only Two Days After Elections, and They're Already Throwing Fiestas in the State Department

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, and Mexican President-elect Felipe Calderon, walk at the State Department in Washington, Thursday, Nov. 9, 2006. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)
Ah yes, Mexican flags everywhere, and none of them in flames! They tried to warn us about this, but now it's too late. And now Condi's just a stooge for Mexico's new, tiny, yet perfectly-formed President-elect. Oh, the humanity!

Pointing and Laughing



I think I finally found my favorite Republican crybaby response to the midterm elections, from the comment forums at Free Republic, naturally. Is it possible to include every single possible issue and cliché in one tantrum? Yes, yes it is:
The RATS stole the election by lying, cheating and covering up their multitude of sins and corruption with the help of the MSM, the commie Soros groups, and their friends the terrorists who escalated their terror attacks for the benefit of the RAT party immediately before the election, so the RATS could once again lie about the progress that's been made by our troops in Iraq. Now our troops are in more danger than before and we'll all have to suffer with the setbacks that are forthcoming including a stop to any hope there was to close the border. Every working citizen is about to feel the hardship that's about to be forced on us by the immediate rollback in the taxcuts the President implemented which will effect the economy and raise the unemployment figures through the roof. Forget about buying a house, a new car or any of the luxuries we've become accustomed too because the interest rates will be out of reach for most very soon.

Unless we find some way to silence the lies of the MSM and reveal to the public the widespread corruption of the RAT party and make them pay as the Republicans have been made to do, there'll be nothing but dark days and misery ahead. We must find a way to stop them in their tracks before they ruin all our lives and the nation, and since they are experts at every dirty trick in the book this will not be an easy task.
Sweet. Oh, but I take it back: this poor, tortured soul forgot to include our plans for hairdresser re-education camps in every elementary school. Tsk.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Photoblogging: Off-Topic



I did get a chance, in between bouts of gloating and cruel schadenfreud, to enjoy a beautifully dismal day outside this afternoon. I noticed that some leaves had fallen all over the glass roof of a bus-stop-like structure near the staff entrance of my work, and seen from below, they were quite beautiful in a Rayograph kinda way. Each of these may be clicked for a desktop-sized image which doesn't have the moiré effect. Can this day get any better?




Metablogging: Best Search EVER



Can we go off-topic for just a sec? Sparkle Pony is getting a lot of traffic today, but for no discernible reasons. Fear not, though, because traffic to this blog is still driven primarily by Germans looking for pictures of buttholes.

But this... well, that's got to be my favorite of all time. What does it mean, indeed!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I Post This through Bitter Tears

SPLOOOOSH!

Leap of Faith


All photos may be clicked for biggerness.

Well, no, not that Faith (see above). Granted, I loved her in Gypsy (yes, it's the same person. Read more about her exotic, Quixotic runs for mayor here), and I acknowledge that you've gotta have a gimmick, but after being told that I wouldn't be allowed to photograph myself writing her in, I decided to vote for Fenty after all. Oh well. Also, I wish I could vote here:



The polling place above is two blocks from my house and on the same street I live on, but no, I have to walk an extra half-mile to vote, for reasons I'll never understand. But voting was a pleasant experience (a Mount Pleasant experience, to be exact) even though I hate not being able to vote for representation in Congress. Tsk. On the other hand: no robocalls for me!



Your humble servant. May your coffee tomorrow morning be more delicious than ever!