George Bush's "Bad" Paintings Are Actually Pretty Great

(Images via The Smoking Gun)

This post might surprise you! I've written before about politicos making terrible paintings (here and here), so you may have expected me to do the same with the artworks by George W. Bush revealed this morning by The Smoking Gun.

Truth is, however, that I think they're interesting and even kind of great. The application of paint is unlearned, and the anatomy is awkward, but the compositions are counter-intuitive, and even sophisticated*, and the use of color quite nice, indeed. These paintings remind me quite a bit of work by Neil Jenney and even more of Alex Katz, with perhaps a little bit of Alice Neel thrown in for good measure. I don't make these comparisons in jest.

A little mistrustful of my own judgement, I showed them to several of my coworkers, and all agreed that they were creative and unorthodox... in a good way (one even brought up Alex Katz before I had a chance to). One important curator, who I probably shouldn't identify too obviously here, described them as "imaginative, crude, and revealing!"

The subject matter is compelling: both contain running water, show the subject in a very private, enclosed location, and both address issues of cleansing oneself. Considering Bush's obsession with reinventing his own legacy, I can't help but identify these paintings as excruciatingly personal and meaningful, just what we hope for in self portraits.

So go for it, George Bush; for once in my life, I'm rooting for you.

*I'm particularly impressed with how he handled the upper left-hand corner of the shower painting. The shadow cast by the hinge is wonderfully observed, and the whole area brilliantly balances the figure in the lower right. The strong diagonals counterbalance the vertical of the stream of water and relieve the grid created by the shower tiles (as does the shaving mirror). This is excellent composition!

UPDATE: Pony Pal Greg, who shared his thoughts on the paintings with Gawker, told me, "I'm glad I wasn't completely bonkers in thinking about Neel."

Gross-Out

Former President George W. Bush, right, kisses former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during the ground breaking ceremony for the President George W. Bush Presidential Center in Dallas, Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2010. (AP Photo/LM Otero)

Last week I showed a picture (with no comment; I knew all of you would fill the gap) of cadaverous, horrifying Dick Cheney at the ground breaking ceremony for the George W. Bush Propaganda Presidential Center at SMU. It was frightening! This past weekend, however, I received a gentle tap on the shoulder from our most distinguished Pony Pal™, Georgetown University's John Brown, who basically said, "Aren't you ignoring some other terrible sights from this horror show?" And as you can see above, John's hideously correct. How could I have missed this rapturous, awful kiss? And of course Condi was there. She was one of the shovel wielders! Let's have a more focused look at this superb gross-out:

Ugh. My God. It looks like Bush is about to French Condi's nose. Barf. Here's something else: Condi and Crazy Eyes Laura were dressed nearly identically in their little red suits. What does it all mean?

As an aside, it seems like Condi's book basically sank without a trace. Oh, sure, it sold a ton of copies, as I predicted, but it never made the NY Times Bestsellers List and appears to have left no lasting marks upon the world. In this way, the book nicely symbolizes Condi's career: it made a good first impression, but accomplished nothing.

Speaking of good first impressions, here's my favorite photo from the ground breaking ceremony, also from the Associated Press. I can't for the life of me figure out why they released this wonderful photo, but I'm glad they did:

John Scott cleans the podium on the stage in preparation for the groundbreaking ceremony for the George W. Bush Presidential Center in Dallas, Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2010. (AP Photo/LM Otero)

Well done, Mr. Scott. I hope Cheney didn't get too much drool all over it.

Billboard Fail

Billboard image via Minnesota Public Radio.

Bush's Defining Moments

(Rick Wilking, Reuters 09-14-05)

Today's must read/must see is Errol Morris' fabulous roundup of embarrassing ("defining," he calls them) photos of George Bush. Morris sat down with representatives of the big three, (Reuters, AFP, AP) and had them pick the most telling shots. You may or may not be surprised by the overlaps: all three pick shots of Andrew Card breaking the news of the 9-11 attacks, for instance. All three, too, pick shots of Bush looking his most retarded (remember the famous locked door?) as characteristic.

My favorite, though, is the analysis of Reuters' famous shot (above) of Bush's note asking Condi's permission to go tinkle:

JIM BOURG: One of the pictures that created a storm of controversy for us here at Reuters because it was an exclusive picture, was the picture of Bush writing the note at the U.N. asking Condi Rice’s permission to go to the bathroom. Do you remember that photo?

ERROL MORRIS: Of course. I had read that there was some controversy about that photograph, that it was enhanced so that you could—

JIM BOURG: No, all we did was darken the paper, darken it down some so that you could actually see that there was any writing on it at all. Anyone who has ever shot pictures in that room at the U.N., and I’m one of them, can tell you then the lighting in that room at the U.N. is absolutely abysmal. The picture was exposed for the skin tones of the president and his jacket as we normally do. And so the paper in front of him was as a result severely overexposed. And all that we ever told anyone we had done, and all that was ever done to the photo, was that the paper was darkened down some so that you could actually see that there was any writing on it at all. Some people, the strongest critics of it, took that and ran with it. Someone having admitted that the photo had been altered in some way, when it wasn’t altered any more than other photos are to either correct the color or lighten a photo which has been shot too dark, or darken a photo which has been shot too light.

ERROL MORRIS: And that photograph was controversial because it showed what?

JIM BOURG: That despite the fact that it was shot in a public place with the president fully aware that there were photographers directly above him, there in the U.N. as there always are, people felt that because of the content of the note, it might be an invasion of his privacy and a cheap shot at him. I think if the content of the note had been different, there likely would have been no controversy at all.

ERROL MORRIS: In these highly orchestrated images, “Mission Accomplished” being the most obvious example, one looks for things that have not been orchestrated, things that are spontaneous, unrehearsed, unplanned.

JIM BOURG: Certainly that’s very much what we are always looking for. It is often the hardest thing to make, covering the president of the United States, to find anything that does, in fact, look spontaneous or unrehearsed because there is a large team of people and staff there at the White House whose job it is to always try to put the president in the best light possible and to insure that things don’t occur which would potentially make him look bad. And also, to try to convey the message that the administration and the president are seeking to convey, not just through what he says, but also through the images as well. That’s the talent of our White House photographers: to be able to work within the constraints that are imposed upon them by the White House staff, but also to fully document what’s going on.

ERROL MORRIS: One of the amazing things about photography is try as you might to control everything, you cannot. The U.N. photograph? Didn’t he have to be aware that he’s being photographed?

JIM BOURG: He was certainly aware that there were photographers behind and above him. There’s no glass between the photographers and the dignitaries, the diplomats and the heads of state there. The U.N. Security Council is not that big a room. The press boxes are one level up and just behind where the leaders and the diplomats sit at the desks. You feel like you’re looming over them. So they’re very clearly aware of the photographers, and that is why we were amazed by some of the reaction, as if we had in some way intruded on a private moment. It was in a most public place being televised live and covered by photographers arrayed around a horseshoe shaped room in all directions around the president.

Suggested soundtrack for reading this article is "Public Image" by PIL:

What you wanted was never made clear
Behind the image was ignorance and fear
You hide behind this public machine
Still follow same old scheme

Public Image

Two sides to every story
Somebody had to stop me
I'm not the same as when I began
It's not a game of monopoly

Public Image

Goodbye!

BUSH and THE SHOE Become ONE

Indian Muslims display a giant-sized caricature of President George W. Bush and posters of Iraqi journalist Mutadhar Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at Bush, as they shout slogans during a protest against Israel's assaults on Gaza, in Hyderabad, India, Friday, Jan. 16, 2009. (AP Photo/Mahesh Kumar A)

Every time I think I'm totally over the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance, I get dragged back in by a new masterpiece. This drawing is superb, a unique combination of caricature and fine representational drawing. So ingenious using the laces for ears!

Oh, the whole entire world is going to miss Bush so much.

Was it Good For You, Too?

President George W. Bush, right, kisses Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

UPDATE! From Dana Milbank:

With fanfare, they walked into the gilded Benjamin Franklin Room of the State Department yesterday: President Bush, the first lady, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Rice's deputy, John Negroponte. They had come to praise great people. Namely, themselves.

[...]

As one might expect of a Ceremony to Commemorate Foreign Policy Achievements of the Bush Administration, it did not last very long.

Unrepentant

U.S. President George W. Bush stands with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during the ceremony to commemorate foreign policy achievements at the State Department in Washington January 15, 2009. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

We're getting down to the last photo-ops, folks, so it's busy, busy, busy for Condi! I love that Reuters sent Sparklefave Yuri Gripas to cover, for old time's sake, this farewell Bush 'n' Condi variety hour. Look at those two: thrilled to be in each other's company, and putting on a hilariously unconvincing dog 'n' pony show about their, um, incredibly successful foreign policy achievements.

So, OK, the speech by Condi was... OMG, hilarious. Seriously, you won't believe it. She starts the whole thing off by totally sucking up to Laura Bush, which is weird. But then she gets to her beloved, and, well, sometimes words are just barely enough:

Mr. President, the Office of the Presidency may change hands next week. But this mission, the support of human dignity and human liberty, will endure, for it is as old as America itself.

Over the past eight years, these principles have guided our diplomacy through the fog of events that were often without precedent, and for which there was no reliable compass – except, of course, the North Star of commitment to an unwavering belief in the power of freedom.

Whoah, America's Princess Diplomat really has her tongue wedged way, WAY up the place where freedom's power reigns. Oh, and history? Her beloved needn't worry:

History, Mr. President, has a way of playing a little trick on human memory. As the din of debate and argument fades, things that were once thought to be impossible are remembered years later as, well, inevitable. That is why, Mr. President, history’s judgment is rarely the same as today’s headlines.

Hey, a little subtle press-bashing, all gently done in Dr. Ferragamo's patented "lots of words but meaning cloudy" style. Well done, Condi! And then came the fabulous parting gift:

And so today, Mr. President, it is my pleasure, on behalf of the men and women of the Department of State, to present you with a commemoration of the NATO enlargement that you led.

(Commemorative plaque is presented.)

(Applause.)

(AP)

And get this: moments later, she gave him... another commemorative plaque! Her other photo-op of the day was signing a meaningless agreement with a superswarthy guy from the UAE:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, shakes hands with United Arab Emirates Minister of Foreign Affairs Sheikh Abdullah bin Zayed al Nahyan, left, after a signing an agreement on peaceful uses of nuclear energy at the State Department in Washington, Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009. (AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)

Yay for peaceful nuclear use! Hooray!

So what'll Condi do tomorrow? One final Matching Armchairs Photo-Op™, please? More Condicising?

Bush Subjects Condi to One Final (If She's Lucky) Indignity

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks to reporters as she released the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief 2009 Annual Report to Congress, Monday, Jan. 12, 2009, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Lauren Victoria Burke)

OK, so the above is a typical "legacy tour" photo-op for Condi: LOOK! AIDS RELIEF! YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS!

But the most embarrassing thing for Dr. Ferragamo ever was revealed today. Bush sent Condi to the UN, where she burned the midnight oil to craft a Gaza ceasefire resolution. This is interesting, because this is one of the few times that anything resembling "effort" or "work" is mentioned in conjunction with America's Princess Diplomat.

But anyway! So, OK, Condi does all this work to put together the resolution, and then Olmert is all, totally, nuh-uh, do not want, etc. So he calls George Bush and says, you know, ixnay on the esolutionray, and Bush is all, OMG, and calls Condi and tells her she has to abstain from voting on the resolution. And so, humiliated, she sits on her hands during the vote and everybody is all, like, OMG, WTF, Condi didn't vote on her own resolution! The resolution she helped write. Because Bush sent her there to help write it. And then told her not to vote on it. Oh, snap!

Seriously, Condi, it's only, what, like two or three more working days? You can make it.

Sabotage

Pakistani protesters hold up shoes and caracatures of U.S. President George W. Bush during a demonstration in support of Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Dec. 21, 2008. Dozens of protestors gathered to demand the release of Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush during a news conference in Iraq on Sunday, Dec. 14. (AP Photo/K.M. Chaudary)

I speculated yesterday that the Middle Eastern shoe art renaissance could possibly lead to the rise of a Kuwaiti Jasper Johns or an Afghan Jim Dine. What I meant to say, of course, was that it would lead to a whole troop of Pakistani Jeff Koons (Koonses?). I regret the error.

Shoe-Inspired Mid-East Art Renaissance Continues

A Jordanian protestor holds up a picture of U.S. President George W. Bush with a shoe fixed on it, during a demonstration in support of Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zeidi in Amman, Jordan, Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008. Dozens of protestors gathered to demand the release of Al-Zaidi, who threw his shoes at U.S. President George W. Bush during a news conference in Iraq on Sunday, Dec. 14. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)

I pointed out yesterday that the popular shoe hurling incident had unexpectedly given birth to the Turkish Claes Oldenburg. Now, as you can see above, it has also had the happy payoff of a Jordanian Robert Rauschenberg. I can't wait for the Kuwaiti Jasper Johns and the Afghan Jim Dine. Good times!

Bush Haters Worldwide Finally Have Their Unifying Symbol

A Turkish leftist holds a model of shoe as he marches to the U. S. embassy to protest against the invasion in Iraq and to express the solidarity with Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi, in Ankara, Turkey, Thursday, Dec. 18, 2008. (AP Photo/Burhan Ozbilici)

So creative! Indeed, al-Zeidi performed a valuable public service by providing pretty much the entire world with a single, potent symbol of dislike for our dreadful outgoing president. Well done! Also from yesterday's demonstration in Turkey:

(AP Photo/Burhan Ozbilici)

And the offers are pouring in:

Also Friday, the head of a large West Bank family said it is willing to offer one of its eligible females as a bride for al-Zeidi. The leader, 75-year-old Ahmad Salim Judeh, said that the 500-member clan had raised $30,000 for al-Zeidi's legal defense.

Something tells me al-Zeidi isn't going to suffer much more, and then afterward... jackpot!

(Reuters)

He should be at least as celebrated as the guy who created the Obama logo. The shoe thing is really funny! I wonder if they know it could be a potent anti-Condi symbol as well? It's always all about the shoes, people, as I've been saying all along:

(Reuters)

Shoes in the News

In this image from APTN video, a man, centre throws a shoe at US President George W. Bush, background left, during a news conference with Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, Sunday, Dec. 14, 2008, in Baghdad, Iraq. On an Iraq trip shrouded in secrecy and marred by dissent, President George W. Bush on Sunday hailed progress in the war that defines his presidency and got a size-10 reminder of his unpopularity when a man hurled two shoes at him during a news conference. (AP Photo)

You can search the shoes, but the shoes themselves remain a formidable projectile. More images from the sequence:

Dana Perino got a black eye! Two sparkley hooves way up for the brave shoe hurler!

Will This Be the Final George Bush Presidential Bald-Head-Rubbing?

U.S. President George W. Bush and first lady Laura Bush gather with the children of military families as they attend a children's holiday reception in the East Room of the White House in Washington December 8, 2008. REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES)

The Bushes did the most totally funnest thing today, surrounding themselves in a protective yet festive cloud of adorable children. Cute!

But eagle-eyed Bush watchers, take note! This is just the latest of many instances of George rubbing bald heads, a practice –a fetish, even– documented with painful thoroughness here. I can imagine him sitting there, seeing that tiny –yet perfectly-formed– cropped noggin, and thinking, This could be the last! This could be the last! Well, how could he resist? And why should he? He's the President of the United States!

A superb Holiday Gross-Out™, and my compliments to the director.

Here's Our President Wearing a Poncho and Acting Like a Douchebag. Ha, Ha, Ha, Let's Laugh at What a Stupid and Evil Man He Is

Wearing a traditional Peruvian poncho, President George W. Bush gestures as Japan's Prime Minister Taro Aso stands below before the official group photo of the 16th summit of the Asian Pacific Economic Cooperation, APEC, in Lima, Sunday, Nov. 23, 2008. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

This stuff is really supreme, classic gross-out material from Bush. Isn't he a stitch? Ha, ha, behold his cloddish form:

Doesn't it feel great to be represented by this... nincompoop? This maladroit fratboy? Ew. But just in case you start feeling sorry for the bumbling, daffy senior-citizen, here's the final shot, the smug no YOU suck recovery shot, and it's totaly where the real horror begins:

But! It's almost over!

LOL Paul Krugman

U.S. President George W. Bush welcomes the 2008 Nobel Prize winners to the Oval Office of the White House in Washington, November 24, 2008. From L-R are: Economics winner Paul Krugman, of Princeton University; Bush; Chemistry winner Martin Chalfie, of Columbia University and Chemistry winner Roger Tsien, of University of California San Diego. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)

Great Britain Bids a Fond Farewell to George Bush

OMG, you simply have to go over to The Telegraph to see their goodbye photo gallery of George Bush. They basically rounded up all the most retarded shots they could find, and you will laugh and laugh at what a ridiculous cretin he is. Or you will sob. Whatever.

Condi Thrilled to Stand Behind Dick Cheney

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) and Vice President Dick Cheney stand by as President Bush (not pictured) speaks during a signing ceremony for the United States-India Nuclear Cooperation Approval and Non-proliferation Enhancement Act in the East Room of the White House in Washington October 8, 2008. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

And why does she look kinda pissy? Don't forget, this is the treaty she was supposed to sign on Saturday but couldn't because George hadn't made it legal yet. So, basically, George stole her show and then made her stand by and watch. Klassy!

Gurning 4 Dollars

President Bush pauses as he speaks about tonight's Senate vote on the financial rescue package, during his meeting with Commander for NATO International Security Assistance Force in Afghanistan, Gen. David D. McKiernan, in the Oval Office of the White House, Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2008 in Washington. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

That looks familiar! Where have we seen that face before? Oh yeah, right!

First Lady of Ghana Easily Outfabulouses Laura Bush

President Bush, left, and first lady Laura Bush, right, welcome Ghana's President John Kufuor, second left, and his wife Theresa Kufuor, to the White House, Monday, Sept. 15, 2008, in Washington, for a State Dinner. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

Seriously, so cute! I think Mr. Kufuor is easily the most adorable thing to ever enter the White House. If only her husband had 1/8 of her kickiness. The outfit looks like it was designed by Matisse. Two sparkley hooves way, way up!

And, um, since I've been so horrible and sexist lately, the less said about Crazy Eyes' dress, the better.

Napoleon Complex

President Bush walks with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates to make a statement on the situation in Georgia in the Rose Garden at the White House in Washington, August 13, 2008. (Jim Young/Reuters)

No, no, not the thing with short people, not that kind of Napoleon complex. This one's way scarier.

Anyway! The Napoleon look suits some people! In fact, I think it would make a great look for Condi:

You are so totally turned on right now. Admit it.