Erudite Political Commentary

UPDATE:

Robert Stacy McCain Inadvertently References Pink Flamingos

(Screenshot via.)

Ha ha ha, and it was reposted by... Barbwire!

Barbwire.com Has An Image Problem

(Screenshot, today.)

I've written before about how I'm kind of obsessed with Barbwire.com, Matt Barber's ludicrously anti-gay, anti-secular, anti-... well, everything, website. It's such an inspiring hate-read, it has become a cherished part of my morning routine: I eagerly await 6:00 AM, when they batch-post their new articles for the day.

Now, when I say that Barbwire has an image problem, what I mean is that they literally have a lot of trouble with the images they use for the site. As you can see in the screenshot above, they use a lot of stock photography, and sometimes they seem a little... challenged to find appropriate illustrations.

What went through the mind of the person who chose that picture? "Hey! Two redheads pulling each other's hair! That... works."

They also seem to be baffled by the rules which are generally followed by supposedly professional organizations when it comes to image use and permissions. And, look, photographic services and permissions are what I do for a living, so I'm speaking from a position of some authority here. A great example can be seen here, where they use a picture from The Oatmeal, completely uncredited and with its satirical intent totally, hilariously strangled in the bathtub, as it were. They seem to think that a key part of copyright law is "if it's on the internet, it must be public domain." More often than not, the stock photographs they use come not from the owners of the photographs, but from other web sites who used them previously*. At least, you can tell that when they provide image credits.

So blah blah blah, yes, everybody does this (so do I!). My point is that this is somewhat surprising behavior coming from a website supposedly run by lawyers. Honestly, that site is a festival of copyright infringement.

So good.

*UPDATE: Here's a good example. Barbwire credits the image used for this post to "communities.washingtontimes.com" when, in fact, it's an Associated Press photograph which can be seen properly credited and paid for here. The image of Obama Barbwire uses here is credited to the Washington Post; it is, in fact, a Reuters photograph.

See, What "Turn The Other Cheek" ACTUALLY Means Is...

I was obsessing over my favorite new website, Barbwire.com, again, and I noticed they had a store! Well, no, they don't actually have "Barbwire" merchandise; instead, they simply link to the Patriot Depot, your one-stop-shop for all your Government-Hating Patriot (!?) needs.

I especially enjoyed the shirt pictured above, and just in case you think they're intentionally trying to be ironic, there's an explanation which should clear that right up for you:

"Blessed are the peacemakers". These words, spoken by Christ in the Sermon on the Mount, are often misinterpreted as a call to pacifism. However, the truth is quite the opposite. Sometimes being a peacemaker requires standing against evil, including by force if necessary. As Harrison Ford said in Air Force One, "Peace is not the absence of war, but the presence of justice."

George Orwell is smirking in his grave.

Also: needs more wings and skulls.

Prospects Fabulously Bleak For A Happy Abortion Day

(Sparkle Pony Flashback to 01-23-10)

Unexpected snow day! Evidently, it is going to start snowing today by mid-morning, and then it is not going to stop snowing until well after dark. And then the temperatures are going to take a nose-dive into the single digits. That snow will not be going anywhere.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow is Abortion Day! It's everybody's favorite day where groups of teenagers from Catholic high schools are festooned with matching acrylic knitwear and trundled into the District so that they can march in circles around the building where I work and leave their signs everywhere. I've documented Abortion Day many times, and it's always a fairly cold and miserable day, but tomorrow is going to be... I believe the scientific term is OMG fucking cold. With piles of snow everywhere. And acrylic knits will not cut it. And young children will really have a hard time. I expect there will be a lot of "martyrdom-grabbing."

I predict a sad, miserable Abortion Day. I can't wait!

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: I'm staying home today, because OPM announced a "liberal leave" policy for the day.  I've been keeping up with the story, and so far the dumbest thing is from, naturally, Politico, where Tal Kopan gives the event a ludicrously puffy buildup under the title "Snow doesn't hinder March for Life" before eventually getting to the part where the snow and cold is, in fact, hindering the event in various ways.

What If Miley Cyrus Really Were Satanic?

According to Matt Barber, writing for World Net Daily (there's your warning), she is at the very least a tool of the Dark One:

Hannah Montana is what America once was. MTV Miley is America today. She “evolved” because we “evolved.” You saw it on display. It’s ugly. It’s Satanic.

Right, OK. But what if it were true? What would a typical week be like for Satanic Miley Cyrus?

• Monday: Billy Ray Cyrus nervously laughs off rumors that Miley's real mother was a jackal.
• Tuesday: Studio engineers contemplate whether or not Miley's fans are ready for an album of autotuned Black Sabbath covers.
• Wednesday: Excited Miley receives the copy of Anton LaVey's music she ordered from Amazon. Upon listening to it, she laments that it "totally isn't twerkable."  
• Thursday: Adviser patiently explains to Miley that outfitting a statue of the Virgin Mary with last year's Prada doesn't exactly count as "desecration."
• Friday:  "These sacrificial robes cover everything," gripes Miley.
• Saturday: MTV executives breath a sigh of relief as Miley finally agrees to replace blood-drenched goats with giant, pink teddy bears for VMA performance.
• Sunday: Miley admonished for texting during Black Mass.

LOLborshuns!

According to this article at Salon, the religious right wants to appeal to young people by "making abortion funny." For once, I'd like to help them out, so I'm proud to present LOLbortions:

And as a special bonus, please enjoy this blastLOLcist:

Evangelical Leader Suggests Compromise. Ha, Ha, Not Really

Want some lulz? Why, of course you do! The Washington Post gave Texas Jesus cheerleader Robert Jeffress space on their editorial page to write a piece which almost seems to literally shudder and convulse as you read it. You will LOVE it.

It starts off sounding reasonable enough: Republicans and their evangelical remoras, Jeffress says, simply must find common ground with each other and with Democrats, to compromise on some issues, in order to win elections. How pragmatic:

Establishment Republicans and evangelicals should realize they are incapable of electing a president without the enthusiastic support of the other. Both have to change their thinking if they hope to capture the White House again.

As examples, God's ambassador gives raising taxes, protecting the environment, and banning assault weapons, things which, after all, aren't mentioned by Jesus anywhere in that handbook for ancient Middle Eastern resurrection cults that they love so much. 

How about Obamacare? "Acknowledging the need for governmental health-care reform does not necessarily pave the way for the rule of the Antichrist." Not necessarily.

But, ha ha ha, compromise on social issues like gay marriage and abortion? Not them. Never, ever, EVER on them. On those issues, the GOP must continue to purge moderates and ignore popular opinion. Jeffress' modest proposal:

I have a proposal for all Republicans. Instead of nominating a candidate who is mute or malleable on social issues but intransigent on political issues, let’s try the reverse. Let’s find a candidate who has a history of consistently and courageously embracing the social views of the majority of the Republican Party, as well as many Democrats and independent voters: that life in the womb should be protected and that marriage is for a man and a woman. But let’s also nominate a candidate who realizes that compromise with the other party is necessary if we are to restore our country’s fiscal integrity, protect our environment and provide the quality health care Americans deserve.

And then the good pastor wraps things up with a metaphor involving porcupines. The end. 

"If Schadenfreude Had Calories, I'd Be Obese Right Now"

That's what I told my friends at lunch today, and they all responded that I had to share the phrase with the world, so there you go.

Anyway, it's impossible to pick out my favorite bit of Republican Sadness (although White People Mourning Romney is a strong contender, particularly this post), but I do heartily recommend visiting Pony Pal Joe for a poignant (not really) and hilarious series of posts of reactions from hairdresser marriage opponents who "have the sadz."

Begun the Leesburg Courthouse Holiday Display War Has

(photo via Leesburg Today)

Leesburg, Virginia wanted to have a nativity scene on display at their courthouse, obviously, so to make everything "fair," they gave out slots, on a first-come first-served basis, for others to erect alternative seasonal displays. What could possibly go wrong?

I love the skeleton Santa on a cross, shown above, but Virginians decidedly did not: within hours, the stirring depiction of Saint Nick had been torn apart and destroyed. You can read some hilariously pearl-clutchy reactions (and nobody supporting it, naturally) here at the venerable Washington Times.

The really fun thing is that the other groups, including atheist groups, haven't even put up their displays yet! Should be entertaining to see what they come up with for the local Christians to vandalize.

Michele Bachmann's Debate Contract Required That A Fresh Coat Of Varnish Be Applied During Each Commercial Break

Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn. is pictured during a commercial break at the Iowa GOP/Fox News Debate at the CY Stephens Auditorium in Ames, Iowa, Thursday, Aug. 11, 2011. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall, Pool)

Infant Shares Our Feelings About Michele Bachmann

Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., holds 3-month-old Reese Benjamin as she makes a campaign stop in Humboldt, Iowa, Tuesday, Aug. 9, 2011. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

The unfortunate baby-shot: truly a rite of passage for all aspiring politicians.

Newsweek Seeks To Prove That It Is Impossible To Take A Non-Crazy-Looking Picture Of Michele Bachmann

Click for bigger, magnificent. Best Michele pic EVER.

Ha ha! Newsweek is taking a little heat for their ka-raze-ee cover photo of Michele Bachmann, so they posted what they purport to be "the outtakes" from the photographer's work to prove that she always looks crazy no matter what! Case closed!

And this is, of course, unmitigated bullshit in its purest form. First of all, there are only nine "outtakes" in the feature, and anybody who knows anything about photography knows that's an improbably tiny number of discarded shots. Secondly, I stand by my earlier comment that this is the kind of revenge Bachmann should expect when she constantly bashes the press. And finally, I've seen loads of pictures (so you don't have to!) of Michele Bachmann, and there are plenty of them where she looks quite convincingly like a totally normal person.

Newsweek should stand tall! They should just shrug and say, "Why yes, we are desperate for attention and so we used a particularly nutty picture of this lady because she is a particularly nutty subject, and it's funny, so there."

It's all OK though, because the photos are great. I mean, look at her. Look at Michele! She is terrified of that coffee table.

Plus, anybody who wears those shoes with that suit is obviously off her rocker.

OMG

Wow! OK, one could say that Michele Bachmann looks absolutely nuts on the cover of Newsweek's upcoming issue (detail above). One could say that this is an intentional act of violence against Bachmann by Newsweek's editors. One could say that this cover represents Bachmann's media-bashing chickens coming home to roost. One could say that this is a naked cry for attention from Newsweek itself.

Yes, one could say all these things, and they would all be 100% accurate.

No True Scotsman

Ever since the inconvenient truth of Oslo madman Anders Breivik's right-wing/Christian philosophy became clear, I've been waiting for American conservatives to roll out the "No True Scotsman" argument to defend themselves. Are you familiar with this strategy? It goes like this:

A: No Scotsman would eat a live puppy.
B: But I just saw Sean Connery eat one right over there! Look! He's eating one now!
A: No true Scotsman would eat a live puppy.

Keep your eyes open, because you'll be seeing this logical fallacy a lot. Want a good example? Here's Bill O'Reilly going on and on and on about how Breivik isn't really a Christian; he can't be, because No True Christian would do such a thing!

Besides, it's all a liberal media plot to make Christians look bad. Don't forget who the real victims are here!

UPDATE: it looks like Andrew Sullivan's readers also pegged O'Reilly's rant as a "No True Scotsman" construct.

Baffling Mystery Explained

Something which has always puzzled me is the way extreme right-wingers like to claim, with a straight face, that American liberals are somehow colluding with Islamist fundamentalists to... to what? Destroy America, I guess. And this is obviously the most perplexing theory, since the former is so completely incompatible with the latter. How does one reconcile the classic tropes of American liberalism (Racial equality! Equal rights for women! Tolerance for hairdressers and interior decorators!) with the kind of scoldy puritanism of hardcore Islam? Well, obviously you can't. Erick Erickson, however, the proprietor of Red State, and an obviously odious individual somehow taken seriously by mainstream news organizations, gives it the old college (or at least dorm room) try:

Secular leftists and Islamists are both of this world. Christians may be traveling through, but we are most definitely not of the world. In fact, Christ commands us to throw off our ties to this world. But the things of this world love this world and hate the things of God. That’s why secular leftism can embrace both activist homosexuals and activist muslims when the latter would, when true to their faith, be happy to kill the former.

All of them can pile on and condemn the Christian because the Christian is just passing through, a stranger in a strange land.

See? It all makes sense now!

Evil Pops Its Collar

This is an undated image obtained from the Twitter page of Anders Behring Breivik, 32, who was arrested Friday July 22, 2011 in connection to the twin attacks on a youth camp and a government building in Oslo, Norway. (AP Photo/Twitter, Anders Behring Breivik)

I resisted posting this, because I thought, OMG, what an unacceptably shallow observation to make! But then I realized that this blog's entire raison d'être is to make shallow observations, so with no small amount of embarrassment, I'll go ahead and make it.

And, well, in for a penny, in for a pound:

Michele Bachmann Looks Out Of Airplane Window, Points, Tsks

This photo provided by the Michele Bachmann campaign shows Republican presidential candidate, Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., flying in a light plane over flooding from the Missouri River, near Hamburg, Iowa, Monday, July 18, 2011. Bachmann said the magnitude of flooding along the Missouri River this summer warrants a presidential visit. Bachmann and a fellow Republican House member, Steve King, R-Iowa, took an aerial tour of the flooding on Monday morning.(AP Photo/Michele Bachmann Campaign)

OK, I know it isn't much, but OMG I had to get that horrible Rupert Murdoch picture off the top of the blog.

Tony Perkins: Republican Candidates Don't Have To Be 100% Ideologically Pure To Get Our Votes, But If They Aren't 100% Ideologically Pure They Won't Get Our Votes

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has a great editorial on CNN right now that you have to read because, obviously, it's so obnoxious. But it's also a great example of something I've talked about before. Here's Tony making a series of fantastically contradictory statements:

There is no misconception among conservatives as to what the ultimate objective is -- win elections. But history shows that candidates on the right win when they're actually conservative. Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour has repeatedly said, "Purity is the enemy of victory." That's a nice sound bite, but it won't win you the Republican nomination or the White House. When it comes to conservative principles, compromise is the companion of losers.

And then he follows that up with the kicker: "Having said that, don't expect values voters to roll out a 'purity' pledge." Basically he's saying that there's no "purity pledge," it's just that 100% purity is required.

And that, Pony Pals™, is what the GOP is stuck with.

Newt Gingrich's Brain Puzzler

Oh, sure, I looooove Callista Gingrich, but Newt is pretty great, too! I'm particularly impressed by just how religious Newt pretends to be these days. Is anybody really falling for this? But anyway, Newt spoke to the John Hagee crowd at the Cornerstone Megachurch™ on Sunday and said something that I've been totally baffled by ever since. "By the time [my grandchildren are] my age," Newt warned, "they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists." I want you to read that sentence over and over again until its utter incoherence sinks in, because it is totally a doozy. How exactly, one wonders, would a secular atheist society be dominated by radical Islamists? Try turning that around: if a society is dominated by radical Islamists, how could it possibly be categorized as "secular atheist"? Maybe Callista can explain how this works. Former actress/found object Victoria Jackson was also struggling with this concept recently, when she was all puzzled that demon Liberals love hairdressers but also love radical Islam, which doesn't make sense to her because "Islam kills homosexuals." She's right! It makes no sense! I look forward to the continuing evolution intelligent design of this argument.