The Yahoo News Photos Search Result I Never Thought I'd See

Wow, it finally happened.

She said she'd stay out of the spotlight, and I'll be darned, she was right.

Or maybe people just totally got sick of her. The Condibot's talking point gears have worn smooth. She's, like, totally MySpace.

Oh dear, it's time to savor the irony of this Condimoment past, when I suggested that the wire photographers would always be there for her, even after the TV bookers stopped calling. Where are they now? Where is Condirazzi superstar Yuri Gripas now? Oh, right, he's shooting Hillary. How about Larry Downing? He's on the Obama beat. Jim Young? Doing double-duty on both of the above. Carry on, then!

Evil Nancy Pelosi Stages Photo-Op Guaranteed to Make Republican Heads Explode

Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi (L) greets the media with former first lady Nancy Reagan during the unveiling ceremony of a statue of the late former U.S. President Ronald Reagan in the Capitol Rotunda on Capitol Hill in Washington June 3, 2009. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

Um, Yay! Nancy 'n' Nancy!

And look, it's shot by erstwhile Iron Condi Photo-opographer champion Yuri Gripas!

Mitch McConnell's Transformation Into a Human/Amphibian Hybrid Nearly Complete

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) (L) and Senator Judd Gregg (R-NH) hold a news conference about the current banking crisis on Capitol Hill in Washington September 27, 2008. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

Condi Now Supervised by Gigantic, Stern Doppelgänger

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice delivers remarks at the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) conference in Washington June 3, 2008. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

Ah, it's nice to have Reuters' superstar Condirazzi Yuri Gripas back on the Condibeat!

As you can plainly see, the Bush administration has introduced the all-new XL Condibot. Enough of this pussyfooting around! Enough of the trips to the Middle East with no results! Enough with Condi surfing this blog and feeling inadequate when she sees the benevolent Austrian giantess Ursula Plassnik!

Now there's a enormous Disneytronic Condibot to rule them all! Yay!

Matty, this one's for you.

Another Reuters Photographer Attempts to See London, France

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) shakes hands with Haiti's Prime Minister Jacques-Edouard Alexis at the beginning of their meeting in the Secretary's Outer Office at the State Department in Washington March 27, 2008. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

It's our old friend, Condirazzi Iron Opographer Yuri Gripas! And once again he makes the matching armchairs photo-op look easy. But I can't help but notice that once again we're seeing a Reuters snapper shooting Condi from an exaggeratedly low angle. Is this a new Reuters policy? Are they bound and determined to get the panty shot before she leaves the State Department?

Well, what can I say? Hooray!

Condi and Barbara Boxer Probably Not Going Shopping Together Any Time Soon

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice testifies before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on Capitol Hill, February 13, 2008. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

It was Condi-goes-a-beggin' time again today, and, oooooh, that bitch, Barbara Boxer! OMG, she was totally mean right to Condi's face! How much is the Iraq war going to cost, how much is the Iraq war going to cost, the congresswoman kept asking, tauntingly. So unfair! Like Condi knows? How can you say how much more the war is going to cost if the war is totally going to last, like, a million more years? Please!

EDIT: Commenter Karen notes that this was shot by champion Condiographer Yuri Gripas!

This Time It's the Frog Who Comes to Rescue the Princess

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, greets French Defense Minister Herve Morin, Thursday, Jan. 31, 2008, in the Treaty Room of the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

It's Condi's new boyfriend! Remember him? OMG, these new French people are so much better than the old ones! Who ever would have guessed that The French would end up being so proud to be American? Um, OLÉ!

Hooves up to Manuel Balce Ceneta for finding a fresh angle at a really stale local. I'm impressed. I bet he'll clean Gripas' clock at the next Photo-Opographer Challenge.

Condibot Needs a Tune-up

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) and Japan's Minister of Defense Yuriko Koike face reporters before their meeting in the Treaty Room of the State Department in Washington August 9, 2007. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

Oh, dear, this won't do at all! It's easy to see that the above image shows not Condi herself, but the Disneytronic Condibot, the labor-saving device deployed for situations lacking the gravitas which require the involvement of the real Dr. Ferragamo.

But, hello? Condibot science squad? Can you not see that several gaskets and links in the central support structure are slipping and need immediate replacement? I mean, c'mon, that posture is simply embarrassing. Let's get it together, people! The reputation of American robotics is at stake!

Pointless Condishot

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (2nd R) speaks with guests at the White House Correspondents Association dinner in Washington April 21, 2007. Rice urged Iran to take part in a meeting on Iraq next month, telling the Financial Times it would be a 'missed opportunity' if Tehran failed to attend. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

I don't really have much of a reason to post the above other than getting some complaints about having a picture of Harriet Miers at the top of the blog all weekend. And, you know, that's a totally reasonable complaint. Sorry about that!

On the other hand, it's nice to see that Sparklefave Yuri Gripas got to cover the WHCA dinner, even if it was a total dud.

Condi Photo of the Day... Week... Month... Probably Condi Photo of the Year

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is seen through the viewfinder of a video camera while speaking to the Edward R. Murrow Journalism Program participants at the State Department in Washington April 10, 2007. REUTERS/Molly Riley (UNITED STATES)

Molly, honey, I am totally your instant #1 fan! Hand it to Reuters for having the best Condirazzi squad of all, thanks to team captains Larry Downing and Yuri Gripas. AP and AFI are going to have to seriously step up their games to compete with this talented new Condiography superstar!

Whew! Was it good for you, too? It kinda reminds me of that movie They Live.

UPDATE: The more I look at this magical photograph, the more I'm prepared to say that this may be, in fact, the single most unflattering picture of Dr. Ferragamo I've ever seen. And that's saying something.

Condidaze: Twofer Tuesday!

OK, OK... I know I've been a little sour lately about Condi, but I have a duty to keep everybody up to date on Condi's fashions and minute hairdo variations, because those Ferragamos aren't going to spot themselves, are they? OMG, so speaking of Ferragamos, here's a fine pair appearing with La Belle Rice and one of her gal pals caught on film by Sparklefave Yuri Gripas earlier today:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) shakes hands with New Zealand's Prime Minister Helen Clark before their meeting at Blair House in Washington March 20, 2007. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

Isn't that cute that it's like they're all chromatic opposites 'n' stuff? We've seen this before, too. What's up with that? Why does it seem like successful female world leaders want to appear as opposite of Condi as possible? I simply can't think of any reasons! I don't know; I just can't grasp the symbolism here.

Anyway! OK, so yesterday was a busy Monday in Condiland, filled with cuddles 'n' hugs for just everyone! Well, not everyone, as you'll see later. But she did a dueling podiums photo-op with this great guy:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) and E.U. Secretary General Javier Solana speak to reporters after a working lunch at the State Department in Washington, March 19, 2007. (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters)

And I just love that guy! He always gets so excited around Dr. Secretary! I wish CBS would give those two a sitcom.

And speaking of Ursula Plassnik, which we weren't (whatever), Condi spent a lot of quality time with Ursula's German pal yesterday before she had to contend with Señor Solana's flailing extremities. Here's the classic, ever-dependable matching armchairs shot:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, meets with German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier at the State Department in Washington, Monday, March 19, 2007. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

You remember him, right? Staring at Ursula's chest? And doesn't Condi look like she's clenching up her nether regions more than usual, like totally twist-tie city? Well, I think this next picture, from earlier in the day, helps explain that. Indeed, it seems that Herr Steinmeier was trying a little to hard to impress our chaste diplomatrix:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, looks on as German Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier speaks during the U.S.-E.U. Energy Technology CEO Forum, Monday, March 19, 2007, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

And that's two days in the life of our Secretary of State! I'm giving two glittery hooves up for today's red suit and, obvs, her glamorous footwear. Yesterday's velvety blue? Eh, it was OK. What lies ahead this Condiweek? Isn't she going to that lesbian place again?

"He's Mine Now... Alllll Mine!"

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice smiles as John Negroponte, right, is introduced as President Bush's nominee for Deputy Secretary of State in the Roosevelt Room of the White House in Washington, Friday, Jan. 5, 2007. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

I think I see what's going on now: Condi, tired of Stephen Hadley's non-stop pestering, had to bring in a full-time cockblocker to keep him in check. Good luck with that! She looks happy with her new Negroponte, though, so that's what really matters. Anything to smooth out that tortured forehead.

Later, she met with some boring Asian guy, and I wouldn't even be posting this were it not shot by Sparklefave Yuri Gripas:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice looks as South Korea's Foreign Ministry Song Min-Soon during a joint news conference at the Benjamin Franklin room of the State Department, after their meeting, January 5, 2007. (Yuri Gripas/Reuters)

Santa Condi Stays the Course... for Christmas!

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks to Reuters during an exclusive interview at the State Department in Washington, December 15, 2006. (Joshua Roberts/Reuters)

Oh my, it's been a very chatty day for La Belle Secretary today. First she had fun with the Washington Post reporters (see earlier today), chatting merrily away like a phalanx of schoolgirls at a particularly boring slumber party. And then it was Reuters' turn! Alas, our favorite snapper, Yuri Gripas, did not attend, but backup Condirazzi Joshua Roberts couldn't go wrong with the State Department done up like a yuletide bordello. And Our Lady in red, well, who else would think to use her wardrobe to tie the whole scene together like a fabulous, Condilicious knot, an aglitter anchor in...

OK, sorry, I'm getting carried away again.

Condi also demonstrated her promise to continue to hold and squeeze invisible spherical objects in the new year:

As if there were ever any doubt!

Meat 'n' Greet

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) shakes hands with Igor Ivanov, Secretary of the Security Council of Russia, before their meeting in the Secretary's Outer Office at the State Department in Washington December 8, 2006. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

YAY! It's Sparklefave Reuters snapper Yuri Gripas back in the driver's seat at the State Department. And, well, um, yeah, another matching armchairs shot effortlessly achieved! Phew! I have to say, though: poinsettias? Tsk.

Also, Tzipi's comin' for a roll in ze hay with Condi!

Wary After the Midterm Elections, Condi Brings Out the Beloved Figure Skaters

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) smiles as figure skating champion Michelle Kwan speaks at the Treaty Room of the State Department in Washington November 9, 2006. Rice named Kwan the public diplomacy ambassador to represent American values especially to young people and sports enthusiasts. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

Is there any PR stunt too small for Condi? Nope.

Happy Day-Before-Elections Day!

I first posted the above photo of Rummy (by sparklefave and frequent Condiographer Yuri Gripas!) in June, 2005. Since then, it has become one of the most-linked photos on my server. I wonder why?

Matching Armchair Double-Header

Yes, we've had twofers before, even threefers. First up today, Sweden's Foreign Minister:

Sweden's Foreign Minister Carl Bildt, left, meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the State Department in Washington, Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

In my opinion, Mr. Dharapak's camera is too close and too low. Yuri Gripas could give him a few pointers. But he does know when to cut away for a quick glamour close-up, the kind we live for:

Clearly our Dr. Ferragamo has grown weary of her guest, so she quickly looked at her watch, did a 'cough-interrupt', booted the boring Swede by pulling her secret lever, and welcomed her next visitor:

Portugal's Foreign Minister Luis Amado, left, meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the State Department in Washington,Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Mmmm, yes, I think that's more to Condi's liking: burlier and Kenny Rogersesque. She likes the feel of that beard while...

...I'm sorry, I simply can't continue down that road. My apologies.

Condi 'n' Laura Preside over Gay Wedding at the State Department

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, swears in Mark A. Dybul, left, as the new coordinator of the U.S. Global AIDS Office during a ceremony at the State Department in Washington, Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2006. From left are, Dybul, First lady Laura Bush, Dybul's partner, Jason Claire, and Rice. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

Hmm, I can't help but notice, poring over the pictures from this event, that male Bushies are conspicuously absent from this photo-op. Even (perhaps especially) Josh Bolten! I wonder where they all were for this happy occasion? I bet they totally got stuck in traffic.

Also, notice who the snapper is? Yes! It's sparklefave Yuri Gripas, Condirazzi sublime and winner of the prestigious Sparkle Pony Iron Photo-opographer Challenge. Well, you all know that Yuri never lets us down, and always comes up with a shot so special, so magically wonderful, that it'll sate even the most insistent Condicravings for days. And today was no exception. Prepare yourself for a photograph so utterly beautiful that you'll burst into tears of joy. Scroll down when you're sure you've properly prepared yourself:

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A thing of beauty is a joy forever: it's loveliness increases;
it will never pass into nothingness. (Keats)

Oh, what a glorious tribute to two classy ladies! *sniff*

Doesn't That Make You Feel a Lot Better?

Ghana's President John Kufuor (2nd L) greets U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice as Ghana's Minister for Public Sector Reform Papa Kwesi Nduom (L) smiles after the Millennium Challenge Corporation Compact signing ceremony with the Republic of Ghana at the State Department in Washington August 1, 2006. The MCC, created in 2004, is a U.S. Government agency which distributes foreign aid to nations of a competitive basis. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

Oh, it's back to normal and just like this past week never happened, isn't it? Condi has returned to doing what she does best: meeting with relatively inconsequential world leaders, staging photo-ops and signing vague, meaningless documents. I mean, OMG, that's totally what she was hired for, OK?

Also, please note that sparklefave Yuri Gripas is the shutterbug on Condiduty today, and he always has the most magical way of capturing her at her Condiest. Once again, he gives us the greatest of gifts, a stunning close headshot of our favoritest diplotaunte EVER:

...or is it? Have you been paying attention? Can you spot... the Condibot?

Busy as a Beaver -- A Beaver in Prada Slingbacks

Kosovo President Fatmir Sejdiu, left, and the Kosovo Prime Minister Agim Ceku, right, meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice , center, Monday, June 19, 2006, at the State Department in Washington. AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

OMG, were you having Condi withdrawls? I sure was, but today was a bustling Condiday bursting with activity and superimportant meetings and pressers and, oh, just oodles and oodles of cuddles 'n' frisky shenanigans for everyone! And she wore a shiny, pretty purple suit! But right off the bat we've got a problem, seen above, because La Rice isn't accustomed to meeting with two heads-o-state at once so there goes the classic matching armchairs set-up out the window. Look, you can see it peeking out coyly from behind them! I mean, what was the State Department going to do? Put the guys in the chairs and plop Condi on the flower arrangement? Only in our dirtiest, most glitter-addled dreams, my dear Pony Pals™. I would also like to know why Kosovo needs both a President and a Prime Minister. Like, WTF? Hungry for titles much? Plus OMG they're totally dressed twinsy-style.

So anyway, then it was time for an exciting dueling-podiums double-header. First up, some guy from Spain:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) and Spain's Foreign Minister Miguel Angel listen to a question during a joint news conference at the State Department in Washington June 19, 2006. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

And, hooray! Yuri Gripas! He always catches Condi and her pals at their warmest. Errr, but that guy doesn't look like very much fun, does he? I don't think he likes Condi very much, do you? Oh well, it doesn't matter because next, YAY, we have a girl playmate for Condi:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) speaks as Poland's Foreign Minister Anna Fotyga listens during their joint news conference at the Benjamin Franklin room of the State Department in Washington June 19, 2006. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

I think she looks pretty nice, I guess, but can you say dueling helmets? Can we talk about Condi's hair for a second? I mean, that's just kinda congealing on her head; hardening, like she's growing a carapace or something. OMG, ew, I'm totally freaking myself out.

But Dr. Secretary's day didn't start off on such a fun skip-around-and-say-hi foot because she had to say goodbye to one of her pals, unwanted moderate Deputy Robert Zoellick:

Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick (R) announcing his resignation during a news conference with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) at the US State Department in Washington, DC.(AFP/Karen Bleier)

Our gal knows how to drop-kick a guy out of the room with style, doesn't she? Good riddance! Sure there's always room for combovers in the State Department, but more to the right, please.

And on a final note, imagine what it means when a man like Robert Zoellick is called a moderate.