McCain Proposes Thrilling New Levels of Interactivity Between Bloggers, Federal Officials

U.S. Senator John McCain (R-Arizona) speaks during a press conference in Baghdad, Iraq, Dec. 14, 2006. McCain said that America should deploy 15,000 to 30,000 more troops to Iraq to control its sectarian violence and give moderates within the Iraq's democratically elected government the stability they need to take the country in the right direction. (AP Photo/Sabah Arar, Pool)

This exciting tale comes via Think Progress: John McCain, seen fresh as a daisy today in Iraq, above, thinks that the era of constant coddling and protection of child molesters by the blogosphere has gone far enough, thank you very much. Thank goodness for brave warrior John, who has introduced legislation which makes the following delightful promises:

• Commercial websites and personal blogs “would be required to report illegal images or videos posted by their users or pay fines of up to $300,000.”
• Internet service providers (ISPs) are already required to issue such reports, but under McCain’s legislation, bloggers with comment sections may face “even stiffer penalties” than ISPs.
• Social networking sites will be forced to take “effective measures” — such as deleting user profiles — to remove any website that is “associated” with a sex offender. Sites may include not only Facebook and MySpace, but also Amazon.com, which permits author profiles and personal lists, and blogs like DailyKos, which allows users to sign up for personal diaries.

Sounds like loads o' laffs! And, obviously, this proposed ability for the government to aggressively fine bloggers couldn't possibly be abused or employed for partisan purposes. Phew! I fact, I can't image the following happening at all:

• Blogger A, let's call him "Freeper", doesn't like Blogger B, let's call him "Kos", at all.
• Freeper uses one of his many ghost email addresses to create an account at Kos's blog.
• Freeper playfully inserts objectionable material deep within the bowels of the diaries at Kos's blog.
• Freeper dutifully informs federal officials of the objectionable material he has "found" on Kos's blog.
• Hapless Kos, unaware of Freeper's clever shenanigans, is fined $300,000 and kicked off the internets.

It'll be like a superexciting web-based cat 'n' mouse game! I can't wait! Sounds totally like a bucketload of fun!

Pointing and Laughing

I think I finally found my favorite Republican crybaby response to the midterm elections, from the comment forums at Free Republic, naturally. Is it possible to include every single possible issue and cliché in one tantrum? Yes, yes it is:

The RATS stole the election by lying, cheating and covering up their multitude of sins and corruption with the help of the MSM, the commie Soros groups, and their friends the terrorists who escalated their terror attacks for the benefit of the RAT party immediately before the election, so the RATS could once again lie about the progress that's been made by our troops in Iraq. Now our troops are in more danger than before and we'll all have to suffer with the setbacks that are forthcoming including a stop to any hope there was to close the border. Every working citizen is about to feel the hardship that's about to be forced on us by the immediate rollback in the taxcuts the President implemented which will effect the economy and raise the unemployment figures through the roof. Forget about buying a house, a new car or any of the luxuries we've become accustomed too because the interest rates will be out of reach for most very soon.

Unless we find some way to silence the lies of the MSM and reveal to the public the widespread corruption of the RAT party and make them pay as the Republicans have been made to do, there'll be nothing but dark days and misery ahead. We must find a way to stop them in their tracks before they ruin all our lives and the nation, and since they are experts at every dirty trick in the book this will not be an easy task.

Sweet. Oh, but I take it back: this poor, tortured soul forgot to include our plans for hairdresser re-education camps in every elementary school. Tsk.

Quickie: What Do John Kerry and "Our" Troops Have in Common? They're ALL Stupid

Yes, I think Kerry's generally cretinous, but in this case I agree with the implication of his badly-delivered joke: if you enlisted (or remained) in the armed services under Bush, you are a moron.

UPDATE: Hey, I get to expand a Quickie-post! Somebody at Redstate.com isn't very amused by my above comment. I take issue with a couple of his/her criticisms on this post and the Pink Pony in general. First of all, my "fuck the troops" sentiment is hardly common among Democrats, and I posted my opinion knowing full well a lot of my readers would disagree with it. Also... won't the Republicans at least give me credit for calling Kerry "cretinous"?

Second, the author describes this site this way:

Pony uses the site to post photos of Condi Rice and other Bush administration officials that have satirical commentary attached to them, usually about Rice's hair, or her wardrobe. The site is filled with the usual condescension and contempt towards Rice for being black, Christian, and Republican at the same time.

OK, now that kinda ruffles my gorgeous, combable tail. I don't think I've ever written about Condi's purported Christianity, and I've rarely commented on anything having to do with her alleged blackness. Contrast that with the Republican Party, always eager to exploit the "blackness" of the few misguided African Americans who wander into their "big tent". I'm sure Michael Steele in particular is regretting all the times he got pushed to the front of all those Bush-attended photo-ops right about now.

But in the end, do I think all African American Christian Republicans are idiots? Oh, my, yes. But since I think all Republicans and Christians are idiots, that kinda goes without saying.

Kudos to Red State, however, for respectfully using the pronouns "she" and "her" in their hatchet piece. That always makes my day.

Republican Senator Larry Craig: Tea Room Queen

Ah yes, Mike Rogers didn't disappoint with his promised outing today. Unfortunately, the outed penis fan is an obscure senator, but it's hard to be disappointed when any Republican with a spotless record of anti-gay public sentaments gets dragged from the closet.

He's got a 0% rating from NARAL and a 100% rating from the Christian Coalition (this may change shortly) ...

... and he allegedly enjoys either giving or receiving blow jobs and/or handjobs in the Union Station restrooms. Larry, Larry, Larry... it's always hotter when it's risky, right?

Oops.

UPDATE: Here is Craig's first denial. This story, oddly, seems to have no traction at all. What if you outed a Republican senator and nobody cared? Does it still make a sound (from the bathroom stall)?

Repulsive

Is there any doubt --any doubt at all?-- that the Republicans' current hysterical campaign against illegal immigration is motivated by their simple dislike and fear of The Mud People?

The above is a screenshot (red circle added) from Fox News, via Think Progress. Here's a comparative illustration for discussion:

Update: On a whim, I went to Free Republic to see if any of their commenters use the word 'beaner'. And look! They actually have a 'beaners' topic tag! How helpful:

How to Succeed in the Blogosphere

Step One: Beg for money.
Step Two: Go on a fabulous trip to Amsterdam to attend a superimportant gathering of other fortunate bloggers.

A Naughty Peek at the Post

From Jesus General, a hilarious peek at Washington Post's near future. Go read it now!

And, yes, I'm hangin' with all the cool kids, wondering what the Post's new ombudsman will do with her time now that she's announced, petulantly, that she won't respond to criticism. I heard knitting is fun!

And while I'm just, you know, recommending stuff to read, make sure to see Paul McLeary's fabulous series of articles at CJR Daily about what it's like to be an embedded journalist in Iraq. Truly amazing stuff! I'm impressed that rather than simply griping about war coverage, McLeary actually goes to Iraq to see what unique challenges face journalists there. Keep safe, Paul!

Quickie: I'm Happy About the Whole Google Thing

Do I have to give the background? I mean, every other blog under the sun is talking about this story. I'm really thrilled about it, though. Why? Because when the feds start getting into people's internet porn activities, that's when the frat-boy Republicans start to realize that maybe their overlords are coming for them this time.

UPDATE: Oh, yes, most of the folks at Free Republic (frat-boy Republican central) don't like it one bit. Why so nervous, fellas?

Here Come Da Judge... Again

The last time I posted the above picture of John Cornyn as a judge, I suggested that everybody pray I never have a reason to revive such a terrifying image. Have you been praying? Because GW is making a list and checking it twice...

Most people seem to think it'll be either Luttig or Alito, so we can safely assume it'll be neither, given George's impressive fake-out record. Personally, I like the theory that he'll choose somebody ridiculously conservative, knowing the Democrats and moderate Republicans will shoot them down, after which he can say to the wingnuts, "Sorry, I tried; it's not my fault," and then nominate Alberto Gonzales, who he's wanted all along. It's hard to imagine him, however, being either that stupid or that smart.

UPDATE: Ohhhh, it's Alito. Well, the hard Right wanted a fight, and now they've got one. Buckle down for Mr. Reid's Wild Ride!

UPDATE 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: Americablog already has 9 posts about Alito. Do you think he'll hit 100 by Friday?

UPDATE 3: Americablog, by 7PM, has racked up a mighty 16 Alito-related posts! At this rate, John will blow right past the 100 mark! Probably by Wednesday!

UPDATE 4: Hello, National Review readers!

Stop It, Stop It, Stop It!

OK, so in the last day-and-one-half (Damn! Again with the hyphens!), John Aravosis' Americablog (link to the right) has had 36 posts about the Karl Rove thingy. 36! And I have no doubt whatsoever that he'll reach 45 by midnight. Don't get me wrong, I like Mr. Aravosis, but he's presented no new information whatsoever; he's simply posting rants and links to each new article as it bubbles up from the swamp. He's also selling all these t-shirts and... I mean, it's all faintly ludicrous at this point.

I'm just saying...

Also, this just in from National Geographic, the DesMoines Register and Inside Bay Area: The baby panda cub at the national zoo is about the size and weight of a stick of butter.

Attention Media: Please Use the Word "Fizzles" in Your Headlines

It's fun to gloat sometimes, isn't it? Oh, c'mon, admit it! Just this once.

Some people are very mad about the deal which just (temporarily, probably) defused, peed on the fuse of the "nuclear option." Enjoy their suffering, clothes-rending and name-slinging par excellence here, there and everywhere at Free Republic.

Updates, more fun Freeper threads: Here's a whole forum dedicated to reflecting the wingnuts' seething hatred of John McCain, and one dedicated to being disappointed with Frist.

Frist is, of course, the total, complete loser in this deal. His presidential ambitions suddenly seem quaint, and his stern puppetmaster is upset.

Irony Alert!

A few weeks ago, I linked to Free Republic, a brilliant parody of right-wing message boards so well done, you'd swear it was real.

They've stumbled a little, though, in this thread, in which the delightful "Freepers" heap praise on the most recent Shiavo-themed episode of South Park.

See, for a parody site to work, it has got to be consistent. These people really shouldn't be applauding South Park, should they? Especially since, presumably, real conservatives would be championing Ted Steven's drive to subject cable TV to FCC regulations.

Anyway, it's a good thing that FR is such an over-the-top, obvious joke, otherwise such disconnections would show real schisms in the Republican universe. And we all know that isn't true.

Best "Support Our Troups" Animated GIF Ever!

It's so sparkly! That probably why I like it:



I found it at Free Republic, which is this absolutely hilarious parody web site, so well done that I almost thought the writers were real conservatives.