The magical gust of wind, AP Photo, 01-17-07
2007 was a year when Condi appeared busier than ever (while accomplishing nothing), but the bloom was off the rose. Journalists like Glenn Kessler and Elizabeth Bumiller now were regularly reporting the more embarrassing aspects of Condi's career, and some began to wonder if maybe the airheaded, photo-op-obsessed shopaholic portrayed on this blog and Wonkette* (PSP alone became too small to contain all my Condi musings) wasn't the real Condi, after all. In response, Condi got a little more insulated, a little less fun, but full of surprises nonetheless. The highlights from year three:
- 01-03: Condi likes tiny yet perfectly-formed Rummy replacement much better.
- 01-05: She gets her Negroponte back.
- 01-11: Robert Novak reports that all the Republicans hate Condi.
- 01-17: Gust of wind produces best Condipic ever.
- 01-22: Hugo Chavez calls Dr. Ferragamo "Missy."
- 01-29: Condi Couture is introduced to a startled world:
- 02-03: PSP mentioned in otherwise serious article by Helene Cooper in NY Times.
- 02-05: Condi meets Don Cheadle.
- 02-06: Sparklemom points out that, unlike Nancy Pelosi, Condi simply does not know how to sit.
- 02-12: Condi 'n' Hadley: awkwarder and awkwarder.
- 02-12: Condi celebrates African American Heritage Month by praising George Bush.
- 02-15: Hugo Chavez has a valentine for Condi.
- 02-19: Condi embarks on her photo-oppiest trip to the Middle East ever.
- 03-05: The Condibot passes the adorable bear-king test.
- 03-10: Colombian surveillance video proves that Condi can't dance.
- 03-21: Reuters' Condi upskirt competition: the quest continues.
- 03-22: Condi has a four-photo-op Thursday.
- 03-27: Please keep back from the SoS:
- 04-04: Condibot malfunctions in public, fails to perform The Madison.
- 04-10: Oh, wait, no, THIS is the Condi photo of the year.
- 04-12: McCain hits the matching armchairs, ground zero for Condi Veep Rumors™.
- 04-26: PSP defends hairdo journalism.
- 05-02: PSP defends hairdo journalism.
- 05-03: Mysterious thief with "I love Condi" button strikes.
- 05-21: Condi visits Crawford, wears horrible Chanel sunglasses, wanders into a cactus patch.
- 05-23: Condi enlisted as walker for Nancy Reagan.
- 05-24: In her most pointless, puzzling photo-op ever, Condi rides shotgun in a prototype Tesla:
- 05-30: A shared taste in awful suits for Condi and the French foreign minister.
- 06-01: Destiny fulfilled as Dr. Ferragamo meets Mr. Zapatero.
- 06-05: Condi's South-of-the-Border diplomacy explained with hand turkeys.
- 06-08: Condi makes ASL sign for "lesbian" during AP interview.
- 07-06: Units mobilized to assist Condi playing golf.
- 07-31: PSP plays Spot the Kleenex™:
- 08-02: Condistaff drops expensive satellite dish from hotel rooftop.
- 08-13: Condi deploys Cal Ripken.
- 08-22: Forbes declares Condi Washington's "Most Eligible Bachelorette."
- 08-29: Glenn Kessler on Condi's reaction to having a quarter bounced off her butt: "She was flattered and proud."
- 09-06: Terrorists prevent Condi from playing golf in Australia.
- 09-11: 9-11 anniversary spurs memories of Condi hairdos past.
- 09-14: Meet Mrs. Condi.
- 09-20: PSP gives Condi a Papal makeover.
- 09-24: Howard Kurtz reveals that Condi is blacklisted from the Sunday shows because she's used up all her talking points.
Not the hair! Not the hair!
- 10-01: Associated Press issues correction for misspelling Condoleezza.
- 10-03: How does George keep Condi in line? Casual insults.
- 10-05: Concerned she isn't photographed enough, Dr. Ferragamo hires staff Condirazzi.
- 10-16: Condi's Red Dress of Grievances scandal breaks in the UK.
- 10-24: Red hands lady gets all up in Condi's grill (see above).
- 10-31: Condi loses BFF Karen "Kick-Ass" Hughes.
- 11-01: Turkish children use Condi as a dartboard:
- 11-03: Distinguished scholar of diplomacy refers to Condi as "Dr. Ferragamo."
- 11-05: Condi Roundup debuts on Wonkette.
- 11-12: Israelis coin the term "Lecondel," which means "To do like Condi," which means "To run around arranging a bunch of meetings which don't accomplish anything."
- 11-15: PSP provides visualization of Condi's telephone diplomacy.
- 11-16: Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System bumped momentarily for softer, spherical style.
- 11-26: The Matching Armchairs Photo-Op completely deconstructed.
- 11-26: NY Times publishes meanest Condi caricature yet.
- 11-27: Adorable cartoon Condi scorpion (see below) debuts in Jordan.
- 11-27: Condi's big party in Annapolis, her greatest accomplishment, happens, fails.
- 12-02: Condi hangs out with drunk driver, insane boy band alumnus, at Kennedy Center.
- 12-03: We learn that Condi found out about Hamas winning the elections while Condicising.
- 12-05: Condi snarls her way through the worst trip to Africa ever.
- 12-05: The Guardian publishes what is officially the meanest article about Dr. Ferragamo.
- 12-12: Yearly AP interview shows horrible toll on Condi.
- 12-13: Washington Post instructs readers to bake Condi Christmas cookies (see below).
- 12-17: Modest proposals given for redesigning Elizabeth Bumiller's Condiography.
- 12-18: Condi's WASPiness confirmed as she is spotted shopping for St. John Knits.
- 12-24: Condi's response to criticism: "Gee."
Stay tuned for the last installment!
*Note: several pictures in Wonkette's archives seem to have not survived their move from Gawker's servers. This is unfortunate.
Here's 2005, 2006, 2008/9.
What can be said to attest to all that you have given us? I feel rather like a post-modern Lulu standing in front of a very non-Sidney Poitier PSP, with this song floating from my lips...
(in case anyone is so lost, please sing to the tune of "To Sir, With Love")
Those bloggirl days of photo shop and writing posts are gone
But in my mind I know they will still live on and on
But how do you thank someone who has taken you from Condi hair and shoes?
It isn't easy, but I'll try
If you wanted the blogosphere I would write across it in letters
That would soar a thousand pixels high 'To PSP, With Love'
Regrading the 2007 McCain photo-op, we see the first instance of the pattern detected by many during the election that Walnuts might have some problems looking Those People in the face.
Post a Comment