Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It's Clearly a Typo



It's true! You might indeed think that "America's top diplomat" has her hands full these days... but you'd be wrong! And that's why she has all that time to hang around with Cal Ripken and other important ambassadors of American neatoness.

Pony Pal™ Blue Gal has just breathlessly informed me that Condi has been deemed the most eligible bachelorette in Washington by Forbes. Clearly this is an error; how, exactly, are they defining eligible? I think this is just another one of those clerical errors, as when she was recently, hilariously, named the most influential person in the District. LOL! As if!

Anything else funny about the article? We're also tied for 20th place as drinkiest city... with San Francisco? I'm sorry, but DC is way, way drunker. I think the most humorous thing about the piece, though, is that we're rated #6 best city for singles overall, perhaps due to our 33% unmarried statistic. Um... hello? Forbes? PSSST! We're all hairdressers! Or otherwise unmarriable! Also, apparently, we're the fifth best city for young professionals, which means that all those dirt-poor staffers on The Hill who are in their 20s but still have to have roommates are luckier than they knew!

And, finally, Forbes lists DC's population as 3,208,937 which is, of course, only about, oh, 2,600,000 more than actually live here.

But anyway... we're number six! Hooray!

25 comments:

drew in sf said...

Eligible AND influential - two words that look great on a resume!

Re the relative drinkiness of SF and DC - I've only spent limited time River City, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's accurate. My impression is that our two towns have a lot in common as 2nd-tier metropolitan centers. And though my travels are largely limited the hipster Mission District and the hairdresser Castro, I can tell you we drink A LOT. We probably drink more over Pride Week than DC does in a normal month. But then we probably do lot more heroin here too, so perhaps it balances out.

Caitlin said...

you know she'd wear the pants in any relationship.

beezie said...

I guess today's "eligible bachelorette" is yesterday's "old maid". Does she have more than three cats? Whatta catch.

FranIAm said...

She likes watching football? That's right.

Maybe she'd like to weigh in on the Vick case?

Repack Rider said...

The Bohemian Club alone drinks more than Washington DC.

sfmike said...

20th place can't be right for either city. They're both filled to the rafters with drunks AND hairdressers, sometimes both in the same package.

Gabriel said...

What makes Condi an eligible bachelorette rather than an old maid are the dominatrix boots. Rar! She'll do to you what she did to Iraq - screw you hard then refuse to leave in the morning and try to redecorate!

Spent a lot of time in SF and DC, and they are definitely more sober than a number of other cities. Chicago, Madison, Portland definitely pound more beer. And Drew, SF may have more smack than DC, but SF can't hold a candle (or a shaky lighter under a spoon) to Baltimore. That is smack city, and its pretty ugly.

Anonymous said...

Forbes is counting the black people.

Anonymous said...

But she already has a hus... I mean, a boss!!! Said so herself!

Anonymous said...

She is a no body,as/in a tit on a bull.Only a chosen house slave like Pow Powell and Goonsalus :(

Distributorcap said...

if the VERY handsome steve forbes thinks she is eligible -- WHO AM I to argue????

karenzipdrive said...

distributorcap I am quickly falling in like with you.

Cliff said...

But she's so clearly Bush's junior wife in that bizarre triangle with Laura.

HRH King Friday XIII said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HRH King Friday XIII said...

re: singles stat and drinking.

you know what they say about politics? It's sports for gay men.

DC is just one large sports bar for mo's.

No Marsupial Equivalent said...

Is that facial expression more "come hither" or the Grinch c. Christmas Eve?

thepoetryman said...

So Forbes' population count was off by a couple of million? It's not as if he's in charge of money flowing into (?) Iraq...

Very funny post by the way.

dguzman said...

Eligible for WHAT? eeewww!

I love Beezie's comment!

Matty Boy said...

She's the most eligible by default now that Merv Griffin and Liberace are dead.

pissed off patricia said...

How's she ever going to find Mr Right when she's flying all over the world bringing peace and balanced photo opts all the time? She's so busy she just doesn't have time to date and stuff.

She might be eligible for more fun time in 2009.

Distributorcap said...

matty boy ---- please dont write things like when i am drinking coffee near a keyboard ----

typing becomes an issue

8-)

Lulu Maude said...

PSP, you're too young for this reference, but it is a shame that the Dating Game has gone off the air for this busy bachelorette. I can only wonder what forms Bachelors Number One, Two, and Three would have taken, and what saucy questions they might have cooked up for our Dr. Ferragamo.

Timing is everything, isn't it?

nodule said...

yeah, it shoulda been "most liable bachelorette"

sunchaser said...

I just saw that. Soooo funny!

Yes, I thought she already was married.

Anonymous said...

That's "eligible" as in "no one wants to go there". Condi Rice is as eligible as New Orleans is habitable.