Friday, June 08, 2007

Air Quotes


U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice responds to a question during an interview at Associated Press headquarters in New York, Friday June 8, 2007. The United States will pursue its own plans to put a missile defense in Eastern Europe despite Russian suggestions to locate it outside the region, Rice told The Associated Press Friday. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)


Dr. Ferragamo, usually so media-shy, consented to a rare interview with the Associated Press today (Sign on the door: NO REUTERS ALLOWED!). My guess is that she's using the air quotes above to qualify the word peace, as in "My goal is (air quotes) peace with Russia comparable to the (air quotes) peace we're fostering in the Middle East." And, indeed, Condi seems pretty disappointed that those wily stealth-commies totally disrupted the onset of her cherished I'm not hoping for a new Cold War *wink wink* project by doing the last thing anybody in her clubhouse expected: cooperating in a civilized manner. Poor thing! That's so not fair!

Can we look at more of the pictures? OK, here she is demonstrating proper red hankie techniques, if you know what I mean:



And here's a telling one where Condi wants to appear thoughtful, but her violent nature nevertheless results in her unconscious creation of a gestural handgun:



WONDERFUL UPDATE: A fabulous yet anonymous commenter pointed out the above as the ASL sign for lesbian. See for yourself!

In this one, you can tell the photographer is starting to fade, and he's drifting away from the monotonous subject:



And you know, the wasted space in the above photo really got me thinking: if the Associated Press feels such a need to document Dr. Secretary's every public moment (thank you, by the way, AP), couldn't they wring a little more profit out of these ceaseless photo-ops? They should totally do that thing they do at Hollywood premieres where the arrivals are shot against backdrops patterned with the logos of the night's sponsors. Think about it, AP:


17 comments:

Jess Wundrun said...

I bow to your supremacy of gesticulation speculation, Princess. I mistakenly thought she was showing us how to really scratch the itchy spot on her invisible spherical friend and the lower photo had something to do with George's nether parts, and the shrinkage due to a cold Prague reception.

Anonymous said...

Gesture 1: What Dubya's should be, according to "Dr" Rice (who will doubtless appear on Viagra ads for zillions of dollars after her stint as "Secretary of State").

Gesture 2: "Dr" Rice (hoping to appear on spaghetti ads after her "Secretary of State" gig) trying to appear Italian, but failing to do so in a most elementary way.

Gesture 3: "Dr" Rice trying to show how smart she is, really "understanding" the mean intentions of these mean russkis.

Final picture: "Dr" Rice about to negotiate re "making love" (exercizing) with her (tax-payer paid for?) State Department gymn trainer.

Anonymous said...

Gesture 1: What Dubya's should be, according to "Dr" Rice (who will doubtless appear on Viagra ads for zillions of dollars after her stint as "Secretary of State").

Gesture 2: "Dr" Rice (hoping to appear on spaghetti ads after her "Secretary of State" gig) trying to appear Italian, but failing to do so in a most elementary way.

Gesture 3: "Dr" Rice trying to show how smart she is, really "understanding" the mean intentions of these mean russkis.

Final picture: "Dr" Rice about to negotiate re "making love" (exercizing) with her (tax-payer paid for?) State Department gymn trainer.

Cassius said...

That is one scary lookin' skank. She's got "the Cheney" (a.k.a. stink-eye) down pat.

Caption for all photos:

The face of evil has a one-sided conversation with St. Francis of Assisi.

Anonymous said...

On that first photo... I was reminded of old episodes of Second City.

My addled perimenopausal brain can't recall which actor (Eugene Levy?) did the part but it was of a vampire.

He would move his hands around - in what I seem to recall as a vaguely "air quote"-ish way and say "scaaaaaaaarrrrry scaaaaaaarrry".

I think this may turn out to be a poor comment and one of those "you had to be there moments."

How I try!

No Marsupial Equivalent said...

Dear Anonymous: The character you're thinking of (from SCTV) is Count Floyd, and he was portrayed by Joe Flaherty.

KarenZipdrive said...

I've decided what her problem is. She needs a brow lift.
Years of scowling has made her brow drop to simian levels, and it needs to be tacked up if she ever wants to look anything but angry and evil.
I mean, come on.
Boys, can you imagine looking down during *a very common sexual act* and seeing that face staring up at you with those menacing brows?
That sound you hear is the swoosh of mass flacidity.

Anonymous said...

I must deny her my essence.

mother of jehu said...

In the meantime, George Bush gave the Pope the stick:
www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/
Put him back 75 bucks.

Matty Boy said...

The fingers together gesture is exceedingly rude in Italian. The Princess uses "red hankie" as code, but in Italian it deals with a similar technique in a different place. Let's just say the new attorney general nominee would not be amused.

The hand on chin is a stop motion part of a classic "villain strokes his beard" move from old melodramas. "So you want to keep your farm but you can't pay me... is there anything of value that you or your marriage aged daughter have that I would be interested in? Hmmm, let me think..."

Anonymous said...

That last photo is just screaming for a Condi thought-bubble contest!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that the first picture isn't her invisible missle shield friend?

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, the "gun" one is the ASL symbol for 'lesbian'. :-)

j. matt said...

Caption for the first photo:
"Rraaawwwwrrrrr...Ima kitty cat. Ima gonna scratch you..."

samael7 said...

"Boys, can you imagine looking down during *a very common sexual act* and seeing that face staring up at you with those menacing brows?"

Not until you mentioned it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to scrub the evil off. Possibly with a shotgun.

brandX said...

Caption at top of 4-photo set: CONDIPLOMACY

caption 1: First I will rip your eyeballs out

caption 2: Then I vill squeeze you until you break

caption 3: Then ve vill have a leetle vendition party

caption 4: Then I will kill you!

Joshua said...

I always thought of her as more of a yellow hankie kind of gal.