Toddler Unimpressed with Blatantly Insane First Lady

First lady Laura Bush holds a young child for a photo during a Republican campaign stop in Manchester, N.H., Monday, Oct. 30, 2006. (AP Photo/Jim Cole)

Dr. Ferragamo Allowed to Briefly Linger in the Oval Office

Envoy for Sudan Andrew Natsios (C) and U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington October 31, 2006. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)

Oh, what a happy day for Condi! And look, she's seated below a portrait of famous Republican Abraham Lincoln. How that portrait manages to not cry real tears of blood is beyond me.

Oh, and I'm assuming she and POTUS just, like, totally solved all of Sudan's probs.

Where's Condi?

Undated AFP photo

I don't mean "Where's Condi?" as in where has she been for the last couple of days (although I wonder that, too), but where's she been on the campaign trail? I'm surprised I've never noticed, but she just doesn't do campaign events, does she? I bet George Allen wouldn't mind a little Condi podium luv, and neither would Rick Santorum. I bet Michael Steele would really, really like some Condi podium luv.

And, yes, this is a desperate attempt to post about something... anything. See, long-time Pony Pals™ know that I don't like to write about things all the other kids are already writing about, so despite election FEVER (Catch it!), it could be a verrrry slow Sparkleweek.

Where's Ursula Plassnik when I need her most?

Lynne Cheney Gone Wild!

Talk to the hand, you little fuckers!

This is so superdelicious: Lynn Cheney appears on The Situation Room, blasts Wolfie for talking about her husband, then goes ballistic when he brings up her lesbo novel to counter her griping about Jim Webb's dirty passages in his own novel. Be sure to watch the whole thing! Oh, it's magically scrumptious! Happy Weekend!

O My!

OK, so you guys know that I'm kinda obsessed with busses, right? I just stood at the corner of 7th and Pennsylvania for half-an-hour hoping to catch a photo of one of the city busses emblazoned with the above logo from Snickers' latest ad campaign. Alas, I was unsuccessful, but I'll do my best today to get a snapshot.

It's a clever ad series, with Snickers taking great advantage of the recognizability of their typeface. And the various slogans look lovely on a bus. But... hung... erect... o my, indeed!

UPDATE: Political Sit-Com War Escalates!

I mentioned on Monday that I thought Claire McCaskill had come up with a winning campaign strategy by hiring beloved Michael J. Fox to do her ads, and I hoped that other Democrats would take note of the tactic. I imagined a wonderful world of political ads starring Barbara Eden and that kid from Eight is Enough, a veritable Nick at Night to replace the usual dour, besuited talking heads.

Well the Republicans know a winner when they see it. So who better to battle the fondly-remembered sit-com son than the inexplicably megapopular sit-com mother? And indeed, as the New York Times reports, the Republicans have done just that:

In Game Four of the World Series tonight, Jeff Suppan, the starting pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, will be trying to strike opponents out. But he’ll also be striking back. Missouri baseball fans will see Mr. Suppan on the field and on the air calling on voters to reject an amendment legalizing embryonic stem cell research, as a rebuttal to an ad featuring Michael J. Fox. The spot will also feature Patricia Heaton, the mom on “Everybody Loves Raymond,” and Jesus, errr, Jim Caviezel, the guy who played Him in “The Passion of the Christ.” The opponents of the amendment say it would permit human cloning, a claim that supporters deny.

I think beloved sit-com son needs help from spunky, supersmart sit-com daughter. And somewhere, Punky Brewster's cell is ringing.

UPDATE: Webb jumps on the Michael J. Fox bandwagon. Oops, I meant that the other way around.

Background Check

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks about North Korea during remarks at the Heritage Foundation in Washington, October 25, 2006. REUTERS/Jason Reed (UNITED STATES)

Oh, it wasn't really a happy affair for Condi. She just isn't herself these days, pouting and grimacing. Usually the Heritage Foundation is one of Condi's safe havens, a place where she can kick back and not be challenged or lobbed mean questions. Not today, though:

Can we compare this glum affair to her last big todo at the foundation last December? OK, let's:

(Reuters, Larry Downing, 12/13/05)

What a difference nlmost a year can make!

Matching Armchair Double-Header

Yes, we've had twofers before, even threefers. First up today, Sweden's Foreign Minister:

Sweden's Foreign Minister Carl Bildt, left, meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the State Department in Washington, Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

In my opinion, Mr. Dharapak's camera is too close and too low. Yuri Gripas could give him a few pointers. But he does know when to cut away for a quick glamour close-up, the kind we live for:

Clearly our Dr. Ferragamo has grown weary of her guest, so she quickly looked at her watch, did a 'cough-interrupt', booted the boring Swede by pulling her secret lever, and welcomed her next visitor:

Portugal's Foreign Minister Luis Amado, left, meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the State Department in Washington,Tuesday, Oct. 24, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Mmmm, yes, I think that's more to Condi's liking: burlier and Kenny Rogersesque. She likes the feel of that beard while...

...I'm sorry, I simply can't continue down that road. My apologies.

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Michael J. Fox is Parkinsoning-It-Up a Little, If You Know What I Mean

I think Claire McCaskill, Missouri's Democratic Party candidate for Congress, has come up with a winning idea by having Michael J. Fox do her latest television spots, and it's a lesson that party bosses shouldn't overlook: hire a beloved, retired* sit-com actor to present your most divisive standpoints. I'm sure Andy Griffith, Suzannes Pleshette and Somers, Tim Allen, and the adorable robot girl (seen above, pimping for Steele and his running mate, a puppy) from Small Wonder's phones are ringing frantically right now. Can't you just imagine? Hello? Rick Santorum calling! Can you get me Rue McClanahan?

It'll get a lot of votes from more light-comedy-saturated households, but it won't please everybody. Rush Limbaugh, for one, isn't falling for it, and even suggests, ever so tentatively, that Michael J. Fox might be a little too on-the-nose with all that crazy shaking and twitching.

*This is required so that the ads may be aired on all networks.

Also, do you hate me for posting a youtube link? Tell me now or forever hold your peace!

UPDATE: I just couldn't stand having a youtube link. It's linked on Limbaugh's article, though.

UPDATE: Crooks and Liars has a seriouser post about the topic.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Funny that I chose to use Michael "Puppy Lover" Steele at the top of this post, because now Michael J. Fox has expanded his political reach from Missouri to Maryland by lending his voice to Steele's rival, Ben Cardin.

Bot Meets Bot

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, meets with Dutch Foreign Minister Bernard Bot at the State Department Monday, Oct. 23, 2006 in Washington. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Is there anything cuter than two adorable robots teaming up together to fight crime? Or, in this case, posing for photo-ops? It's nice to have Condi back in the State Department where she belongs because, you know, other countries' matching armchairs just aren't quite as comfy.

Will Work for Flowers

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov welcomes U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during their meeting in Moscow,Saturday, Oct. 21, 2006. U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice arrived in Moscow Saturday for talks officially focused on North Korea's nuclear test but her main mission is to persuade a reluctant President Vladimir Putin to back sanctions against Iran, analysts say. (AP Photo)

I know it's Saturday, but as long as there are bouquets left to be collected, Condi's work is never done.

Still Waiting for the "I Helped Senator Larry Craig Use the Restroom" Merit Badge

I'm sorry to say that what you're seeing above is not a joke, but an actual merit badge coming soon to a Boy Scout near you. Defamer has the goods in two posts:

From the "If we told you we made this up, you'd accuse of being really high" file, today the MPAA is announcing a new program in which it will seek to re-educate the movie-downloading terrorist cells represented by our local Boy Scout troops about the importance of "respecting copyrights," hoping to turn the little knot-tying, merit-badge-hoarding pirates into a beige-clad army of pro-industry good.

Indeed. And again I find myself weeping, sobbing into my pillow, "What's a satirist to do when his job is being done without him?"

Quickie: The Headline Says It All

Condoleezza Rice likened to 7th century female Muslim wise woman!

EDIT: Oh, what the heck, it's a short article, so here's the whole thing:

Washington, Oct 20: US Under Secretary of State for Interfaith harmony, Karen Hughes, has likened Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice to Amara bin Al-Rehman, a wise women who lived at the time of Prophet Mohammed.

Addressing a gathering of Muslim diplomats and journalists at a State Department Iftar reception, Hughes said that Rice like Al-Rehman, was an extremely knowledgeable woman who shared her knowledge with many famous men of her time.

"Recently I was told a story from the time of the Prophet about a famous man who expressed a desire to seek knowledge. He was advised, by another man to join the assembly of a well-known woman jurist of the day named Amara bin Al-Rahman," the Daily Times quoted Karen as saying.

"She was described as a boundless ocean of knowledge and she shared her knowledge with a number of famous men which kind of reminds me of our boss Dr Condoleezza Rice when she shows up at a national security meeting and shares her boundless knowledge with all the men in the room," she said.

What library-level speech researcher came up with that one, I wonder? Because you know Texas soccer-mom Karen Hughes didn't.

Condi Encounters Plethora of Matching Armchairs in China, Little Else

It was a big deal when that "I am not a crook" guy went to China. Condi? Eh. She was all, like, "OMG, you guys totally have human rights abuses," and they were, like, "Um, when's the last time you looked in the mirror, OK?"

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) meets Chinese President Hu Jintao at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing, October 20, 2006. Rice on Friday pressed China on its human rights record, but Beijing countered it had its own problems with the United States. REUTERS/Takanori Sekine/Pool (CHINA)

And that's pretty much that. Yes, there are "stand and shake hands" pics, and dueling podium shots, but mostly matching armchairs. With the Premier:

With the Chinese State Councillor:

I mean... come on! Where are the interesting photo-ops? Send her to a rice paddy! Put her in a cute pointy hat! Surround her with loveable children! Bind her feet! It's not like she's accomplishing anything newsworthy.

UPDATE: The news this morning is that Condi was all, like, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this Korea thing," and then the Chinese guys are all, like, "Um, that's OK, Condi, we'll do it."

OK, Now I Know They're Actually Trying to be Perverse

Screenshot from TPM Muckraker, your leader in naughty headlines.

UPDATE: Speaking of amusing screenshots, I was just greatly amused to see this advertisement on Americablog:

Yeah! Go Chevron! Congratulations, John, on getting a tiny sliver of the Big Oil Pie™.

Condi Sandwich

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (C) shakes hands with South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-Moon (R) and Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso (L) before three-way talks at Ban's official residence in Seoul, 19 October 2006. Rice said North Korea must abandon all nuclear weapons after testing an atom bomb but stressed that the door for negotiation was still open.(AFP/Pool/Jung Yeon-Je)

HOTT!

Korea Welcomes Condi

A South Korean protester participates in a rally against U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's visit in front of the Foreign Ministry in Seoul, Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006. Rice arrived in South Korea on Thursday to push Seoul to fully support sanctions against North Korea, while Chinese envoys were apparently in Pyongyang warning the reclusive country against more nuclear tests.(AP Photo/Ahn Young-joon)

In fact, there were lots 'n' lots of colorful native folks on hand to warmly welcome our princess diplomat:

South Korean protesters are blocked by riot police officers as they try to block the U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice 's car near the U.S. Embassy in Seoul, Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006. Rice arrived in South Korea on Thursday to push Seoul to fully support sanctions against North Korea , while Chinese envoys were apparently in Pyongyang warning the reclusive country against more nuclear tests. The Korean read ' We oppose U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's visit.' (AP Photo/ Lee Jin-man)

Isn't that nice? They're clamouring for Condi! But I know you're dying to know if they had a nice, warm matching armchairs photo op to welcome her? Of course they did:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, talks with South Korean President Roh Moo-Hyun, right, during a meeting at the presidential Blue House in Seoul Thursday, Oct. 19, 2006. Rice arrived in South Korea earlier in the day to press Seoul to support sanctions against North Korea for its nuclear test that rattled the world. (AP Photo/Jung Yeon-je, Pool)

The Real Ohio Gubernatorial Question: Whose is Bigger?

As you can see, AP photographer Jay Laprete caught both candidates for Governor doing that same "I'm holding an invisible, spherical object" hand gesture so popular with politicians these days. Sadly, both appear to have invisible friends of roughly the same size, so there goes that indicator right out the window.

I've written several times before about language viruses, so could this be cited as an example of a gesture virus? If it is, Condi better get her some Cipro right away. In any event, it seems to be inspired by Giacometti's famous 1935 sculpture The Invisible Object (Hands Holding the Void):

Condi Achieves Second Major Asian Photo-Op Objective

It's only her first day on the continent, but Condi's trip is totally superfantastic! Earlier today, the Japanese quickly fulfilled the matching armchairs photo-op requirement specified in Dr. Ferragamo's contract, and they've moved right along, with typical Japanese efficiency, to the dueling podiums stage:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) answers a reporter's question as Japan's Foreign Minister Taro Aso watches during a joint news conference in Tokyo October 18, 2006. Rice reassured Japan on Wednesday that Washington would stand by a commitment to protect its Asian ally, where North Korea's atomic test has stirred debate about acquiring nuclear weapons. REUTERS/Itsuo Inouye/Pool (JAPAN)

So now that Condi's primary photo-objectives have been taken care of, the rest of the trip is just gravy!

You know what my hopes are for this trip? I'm pining for Condi to do a little photo-op hotdogging and try for the tricky yet adorable "surrounded by a protective cloud of adorable local children" availability so favored by her pal Karen Hughes. Keep your fingers crossed!

UPDATE -- innovative triple matching armchair shot:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (C) meets Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso (L) and Minister of State for Defense Fumio Kyuma (R) at the Foreign Ministry's Iikura guesthouse, in Tokyo October 18, 2006. Rice arrived in Tokyo for talks with the Japanese foreign and defence ministers as intelligence experts warned a second nuclear test was likely following an increase in activity at the site of North Korea's test on October 9. REUTERS/Franck Robichon/Pool (JAPAN)

The Japanese are so advanced. Updates as they roll in!

Japanese Rice Dish

In the gusty winds, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice arrives at Haneda Tokyo International Airport Wednesday, Oct. 18, 2006. Rice is in Japan on a four-nation tour to discuss how to enforce the U.N. sanctions against North Korea over its nuclear test, approved Saturday. Rice is scheduled to visit South Korea , China and Russia after visiting Japan. (AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama)

I like how the Associated Press feels a need to mention the "gusty winds", just in case anybody thought Condi had adopted a particularly unfortunate new coiffure. Don't worry, though, because the hairdo was quickly repaired, as you'll see below. But, yes, Condi's Asian Adventure has begun! Woohoo! And her reacharound for Japan was immediately rewarded with a superb if ostentatious matching armchair photo-op:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, meets with Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso at the Foreign Ministry's Iikura guesthouse in Tokyo, on Wednesday October 18, 2006. U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice arrived in Tokyo on Wednesday for talks with Japanese officials amid fears North Korea could be readying for a second nuclear test. (AP Photo/Issei Kato, POOL)

More to come!

Republican Senator Larry Craig: Tea Room Queen

Ah yes, Mike Rogers didn't disappoint with his promised outing today. Unfortunately, the outed penis fan is an obscure senator, but it's hard to be disappointed when any Republican with a spotless record of anti-gay public sentaments gets dragged from the closet.

He's got a 0% rating from NARAL and a 100% rating from the Christian Coalition (this may change shortly) ...

... and he allegedly enjoys either giving or receiving blow jobs and/or handjobs in the Union Station restrooms. Larry, Larry, Larry... it's always hotter when it's risky, right?

Oops.

UPDATE: Here is Craig's first denial. This story, oddly, seems to have no traction at all. What if you outed a Republican senator and nobody cared? Does it still make a sound (from the bathroom stall)?

Reminder: Mike Rogers Does a Little Closet Cleaning Today

He's been hinting and teasing, but Mike Rogers at Blogactive claims that he is going to out a closeted gay Republican senator today live on the radio. A senator! Wheee! Which one will it be? According to Mike, one of these:

Robert F. Bennett (R-UT)
Jim Bunning (R-KY)
Richard Burr (R-NC)
Saxby Chambliss (R-GA)
Thad Cochran (R-MS)
Norm Coleman (R-MN)
John Cornyn (R-TX)
Larry E. Craig (R-ID)
Mike Crapo (R-ID)
Jim DeMint (R-SC)
Michael B. Enzi (R-WY)
James M. Inhofe (R-OK)
Johnny Isakson (R-GA)
Mel Martinez (R-FL)
Pat Roberts (R-KS)
Jeff Sessions (R-AL)
Richard C. Shelby (R-AL)
John Thune (R-SD)
David Vitter (R-LA)
George V. Voinovich (R-OH)

Oh, this could be really good. Inhofe would be the funniest, of course, but also the most embarrassing, while Cornyn would leave the most impressive splatter, and Voinovich would probably totally finish the Republican Party in Ohio. Ohhhhh... who will it be?

UPDATE: Looks like it may be one of the Idahoans. That kinda sucks. Who cares about Idaho?

Photoblogging: Love at First Sight

Click for bigger!

I snapped this gorgeous bread truck just blocks from my home last evening. It makes me feel better knowing that such a beautiful object is rolling around the city.

Locals Only: Ha Ha! Eat It, Suburbanites!

When Ex-Gay Rivals Turn on Each Other, Everybody Wins!

OMG, have you ever heard bitch-slapping quite as delightful as this? The LA Times delivers a real thrill-ride in their totally fun exposé of what can only be called an incipient Ex-Gay™ turf war between Alan Chambers' telegenic yet fey group Exodus International on one side, and the decidedly less festive National Assn. for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality on the other. What a delicious spectacle:

One psychiatrist called for allowing schoolchildren to shame and ridicule classmates who don't act according to stereotypical gender roles. Another board member, a therapist, asserted that slaves may have been better off in chains than in "savage" Africa.

One of NARTH's scientific advisors has quit in protest, and a prominent therapist has canceled his presentation at the group's annual conference next month. Alan Chambers, who leads the nation's largest support group for "ex-gays," urged NARTH's members to "think long and hard about the mission of the organization."

And after all, if there's anybody who likes things long and hard, it's Alan Chambers.

Christians Now Hate Condi, But for All the Wrong Reasons

I wrote about Condi 'n' Laura's cutesy gay wedding ceremony last Tuesday, and since that time the Christian Crazies™ have built up an impressive head of righteous indignation. Thank goodness for Agape Press for rising to the bait and telling exactly why Dr. Ferragamo has now been blacklisted from all the holiest, jesusyest Christmas card lists:

The Washington Blade, a pro-homosexual publication in the nation's capital, was accurate on Friday when it predicted Rice's remarks would "rais[e] the eyebrows of conservative Christian leaders." Peter Sprigg, vice president for policy at the Family Research Council, says the secretary's comments were "profoundly offensive" and fly in the face of the Bush administration's endorsement of a federal marriage protection amendment, though that backing be less than enthusiastic.

"We have to face the fact that putting a homosexual in charge of AIDS policy is a bit like putting the fox in charge of the henhouse," says Sprigg. "But even beyond that, the deferential treatment that was given not only to him but his partner and his partner's family by the Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is very distressing."

Sprigg says in light of the Foley scandal, "it's inexplicable that a conservative administration would do such things." He also notes that Rice's comments defy an existing law on the books protecting traditional marriage. "So, for her to treat his partner like a spouse and treat the partner's mother as a mother-in-law, which implies a marriage between the two partners, is a violation of the spirit if not the letter of the Defense of Marriage Act," the FRC spokesman states.

Poor Condi, she'll just have to settle with being loved by everybody else in the world.

UPDATE -- Bonus Condifun! Check out the bewitching visage of a Condi/John Bolton half-and-half sideshow freak. Yay!

Love Her...

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gives a briefing on her upcoming trip to Asia at the State Department in Washington, October 16, 2006. REUTERS/Jim Young (UNITED STATES)

...or she'll crush her invisible, spherical friend:

Whoah, bad weekend at Camp David, Condi? Didn't you enjoy watching Jackass 2?

Audacious Fame-Whore Delights, Puzzles Way through the Mediasphere

Screenshot from TPM Muckraker, your #1 souce for hilarious KA Paul info and Hastert woes. The new Sparkle Pony 15-M Meter™ added for easy reference.

This Should Finish Him Off

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (L) introduces U.S. President George W. Bush to speak at a campaign fundraiser in Chicago October 12, 2006. Bush appeared publicly for the first time with Hastert on Thursday since former Rep. Mark Foley's resignation over sexually explicit messages he sent to teenage male pages. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque (UNITED STATES)

Aw, isn't that nice? What I totally don't get, though, is why Hastert thinks that appearing with Bush will make people like him more. And what's in it for Bush? Oh, right, that election thingee. Hastert's basically one of the very few House Republicans willing to be seen in public at all with the toxic, unpopular photo-op killer.

Mr. Hastert, if you want all the kids to like you, it's time to bring in a better class of photofriends. Please allow me to make a suggestion:

Diplomats-with-Funny-Names Week Continues!

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) greets members of the media with Hungary's Foreign Minister Dr. Kinga Goncz, at the State Department in Washington October 12, 2006. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES)

It's great that the whole Korea thing is all cool now, so Condi can continue her important, megacharged meetings with crucially important world powers like Iceland and, today, Hungary. You know who I'm really worried about, though? The Principality of Liechtenstein. And the Seychelles. Because, I mean, if Condi drops the ball with them, she'll lose the rest of the most inconsequential junior countries.

Also, I like the dilemma these uneventful matching armchair affairs present to the wire service photo caption writers. I mean, they can't really say Here's Condi sitting on her ass while the world explodes, so they come up with things like this:

US President George W. Bush met with top Chinese official Tang Jiaxuan who agreed on the need for "strong measures" against North Korea following Pyongyang's nuclear test announcement, US officials said. Tang also met with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice , seen here at the State Department, to discuss the issue of strong sanctions on Pyongyang.(AFP/Karen Bleier)

Isn't that cute how they take the picture of the day, crop out the obscure, irrelevant Hungarian, and then pretend that Condi isn't being kept as far, far away from the Korean stuff as possible? Poor Condi: She's forever stuck at the kiddie table, but at least the party photographers are always super nice.

Once You Go Geir Haarde, You Never Go Back

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) kisses Iceland's Prime Minister Geir Haarde after a signing ceremony at the State Department in Washington October 11, 2006. REUTERS/Jim Young (UNITED STATES)

And afterwards, they celebrated by cosigning meaningless documents:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, and Iceland's Prime Minister Geir Haarde sign an agreement that provides for future defense cooperation between the two countries following the recent withdrawal of U.S. military forces from the island, Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2006 at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Chris Greenberg)

And, again... aren't you impressed? It's great that during these trying times, Condi can be counted on to negotiate with tough world players like Greenland. I mean Iceland. I totally feel safer already.

Also, just what the heck was going on between Condi and the Peruvian guy yesterday? Check the zipper, man:

Peruvian President Alan Garcia walks out with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the Peruvian Embassy in Washington, Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2006. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

Caught in the act, Buddy! And Condi... oh, wait 'til your mother finds out. And, Dude, tomorrow she's totally dumping you for some Icelandic guy.

Quickie: Meredith Vieira is Such a Tease

Oh, I got so excited this morning when they announced on the Today Show that they were going to burn down a house in Bethesda live on TV. Imagine how crushed I was when Meredith Vieira mentioned that the house was unoccupied. Whatever.

Come 'n' Get It!

I've lamented before that it's daunting to be the #1 Google Image Search result (not safe for work, duh) for the word butthole. Sure, it's a rare, peculiar honor, but it's a little embarrassing to realize that a substantial percentage of traffic to the Pink Pony is driven by this very phenomenon. I tried to douse the flow (ew) by deleting the delightful and superpopular "Butthole.jpg" from my server*, but to no avail: thanks to Google's mysterious caching-thumbnails-and-then-never-uncaching-them magic, I seem to be stuck with the... privilege. I am your #1 source for Butthole.jpg. The annoying result is that all my Site Meter and web site statistics are cluttered with people clamouring... over and over and over, every hour of every day... for this picture!

So, OK, OK! I have uploaded a new "Butthole.jpg", seen above, to the same URL. Maybe Google will recache it and end up with a totally easy-to-read thumbnail, and all those fine people searching for buttholes on Google in their homes, universities, high schools, work places and, um, the Pentagon (according to Site Meter) will be able to more efficiently locate their important pictorial treasures.

*Note: the original "Butthole.jpg" was non-sexual in nature. It was a fake Pink Flamingos trading card illustrating the captivating "singing asshole" scene from that film. A collage of the fake trading cards with the naughty one 95% covered can be seen here (safe for work).