Condi Roundup!

Above: Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaking at the J.P. Morgan Healthcare Conference in San Francisco Wednesday. Image Credit: Mark Sullivan/VentureBeat

 It's a new Condiyear! So what's America's Princess Diplomat been up to? Well, not much, actually. But seeing Condi in a brand new Matching Armchairs Photo-Op Live! On Stage! filled me with nostalgia for bygone Condidays.

On the other hand, OMG, what is UP with those dorm chairs? Those are terrible. Anyway, this was at the J.P. Morgan Healthcare Conference, so that's got to be one of her full-price gigs, so well worth enduring a bad armchair in front of an audience of pharmaceutical executives. Condi said some vague things about terror 'n' such, complained about Edward Snowden, revealed that the world is a dangerous place, and suggested that the US send troops to the Balkans because, my goodness, that sounds like the best idea ever. Reminder: Dr. Ferragamo was paid more than what the average American makes in a year for today's brief staged interview. Gooooo Condi!

I know you all are fans of Condi Veep Rumors™, and we briefly enjoyed NFL Commissioner Condi Rumors a few months ago, so how about some Condi Running To Fill Barbara Boxer's Senate Seat Rumors? Sounds great, right? Alas, those fun-sounding rumors have already come and gone, so we'll have to wait a few more months for Condi Veep Rumors™ to start bobbing up again.

So other than CVRs, what will 2015 bring Condiwatchers? Canned speeches and paychecks, same as always.

An Old Favorite

U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, left, and Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao, right, have a light moment during their meeting at the Zhongnanhai leaders compound in Beijing, China on Friday Aug. 19, 2011. (AP Photo/Andy Wong, Pool)

I haven't featured a classic Matching Armchairs Photo-Op™ in some time, so here's a recent beauty starring Joe Biden. And I always love it when they have the translators discreetly tucked behind the armchair principals. Five stars!

Condi's Matching Armchairs... Live On Stage!

It's been a while, and I've been neglecting the Condinews lately, so let's take an overdue peek inside the glittering, magical world of America's Princess Diplomat! The latest thing is an interview with La Condi in this Sunday's New York Times Magazine. It's been "condensed and edited" for the web, so bummer, because it it totally the most boring, uninformative interview ever, even by Condi standards, and that's saying something. The only good part is when she says that Donald Rumsfeld "can be a grumpy guy," masterfully proving that she can take any interesting topic and turn it into a letdown.

On the lighter side, of course, everybody is all a-dither about Dr. Ferragamo's upcoming appearance on something called "30 Rock," which I guess from the title is some kind of television pop music show for people born in the early 80s. Condi gets to play an awkward former secretary of state who used to date one of the Baldwin brothers. Weird. I think I'll only believe this if it ends up on the youtubes.

And then... something about golf, something about golf... sorry, I'm just doing this off the top of my head. Oh, right, this is an old story, but it's about something that hasn't happened yet (isn't that just the internet for you; by the time something actually happens, you're over it): Condi will be hosting a tournament at some formerly racist country club next month, so we can all look forward to that.

And finally, Condi was LIVE! ON STAGE! at Colorado State University last week, a sold-out extravaganza, and from the sounds of it, it wasn't terribly exciting. She gave her "It's so nice to read the paper in the morning and not have to do anything about it" anecdote which she's using in every interview, every appearance lately. "We do have a lot of work to do to defend freedom," she revealed. Boilerplate Condistuff. But they did the greatest thing! To make La Rice feel at home, they set her up on the stage with a moderator seated in, yes, a classic "matching armchairs" set-up:

(Photo via Colorado State University's flickr stream, where they quaintly think they can prevent people from downloading their photos)

It's almost like they followed my tutorial: the twin armchairs angled just so, the neutral background, the low table, the tasteful flower  arrangement, even an optional flag! It's like Condi's returned to her special place. Well done, CSU.

Condi Now Just Doing Matching Armchairs Photo-Ops With Any Old Bedazzled Society Matron

(Photo: The Desert Sun)

So there you go, our first matching armchairs shot in quite a while, and it is a bummer. Condi got an award for her years of dedication to the piano at this society to-do in horrible, horrible Rancho Mirage, California. Have you ever been to places like Rancho Mirage or Palm Springs? Uck.

And is Condi wearing a gigantic leftover Christmas tree skirt?

Memories

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, holds back a flag that was blowing onto her during the 9th Annual John W. Rice Diversity and Equity Awards ceremonies in Sacramento, Calif., Monday, July 13, 2009. The award is named in honor of Rice's late father, Dr. John W. Rice who was a former member of the California Community Colleges Board of Governor's. It is awarded annually to the individuals or programs that demonstrate outstanding contributions toward achieving diversity and equity within the community colleges. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

This is the saddest photo ever. Once, during Condi's reign at Foggy Bottom, it was a magical time, an era when the art of the holy Matching Armchairs Photo-Op flowered like a rare orchid under her watchful guidance. And now? Now, Condi?

Condi Lies to Children About Torture

In this photograph provided by Rabinowitz-Dorf, Leon Wieseltier, left, talks with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the the Jewish Primary Day School of the Nation's Capital in Washington Sunday, May 3, 2009. (AP Photo/Rabinowitz-Dorf, Ron Sachs)

Oh look, it's Matching Armchairs LIVE! Yay! I believe this is the first MAPO since Condi left Foggy Bottom, so it's historic, I guess.

But it seems that all anybody wants to ask Condi about these days is torture, which is icky and totally rude because it makes her uncomfortable. This time it was a fourth grader who wanted to ask the question newspapers refuse to ask, and as you can see, it made Condi's meet-children-cute thing a little tense:

(AP)

So the kid was all, like, "OMG, which Jonas Brother is your favorite and why did we, like, torture 'n' stuff?" Condi then scrunched up her forehead and gave her standard response, which is, "OMG, we were so scared after 911 that we made sure to declare everything legal so that the President wouldn't break any laws." See? Such a simple answer! Why do people keep asking about it? Sheesh! Look, it's a simple logic problem:

• We didn't torture.
• We DID use the technique called waterboarding.
• Therefore waterboarding isn't torture.

Even a child should be able to unravel understand that logic.

The Story So Far: Hillary Not as Photo-Oppy as Condi, but I Totally Hate This Coat

Belgium Foreign Minister Karel de Gucht (L) welcomes US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton before a 'transatlantic' dinner at Egmont palace. Clinton said Wednesday that she was very encouraged by the position of European nations on hosting inmates from Guantanamo prison, which Washington has moved to close. (AFP/Dominique Faget)

It's been what, like, a year now that Hillary Clinton has been SoS? OK, so let's evaluate: sifting through news photos of her just is not as much fun as it was with Condi. I mean, tracking the hairdo (so you don't have to) was a nerve-wracking occupation! You never knew when things in Condiland might go fabulously awry. In other words: don't hold your breath for an aglitter piano recital from Hils anytime soon.

I also enjoyed, obviously, the relentless succession and frequency, almost hypnotic, of Condi's incredible, mechanical, pre-tested, pre-programmed and marked-with-tape-on-the-floor photo-ops: the hallowed Matching Armchairs, the Dueling Podiums, the Madison Time. They were such wonderful snowflake-like creations, all alike yet all tantalizingly different and inane in their own unique ways.

Not so Secretary Pantsuit. She hasn't been an enthusiastic participant, so far, in the Matching Armchairs thing; most of the photos show her coming and going from activities rather than in staged "availabilities." She's done a few Madison Times and, naturally, the unavoidable Dueling Podiums, but they just don't have the same zany pizazz so frequently provided by Doctor Ferragamo's intriguing suits and tasteless accessories. The truth of the matter is that Hillary has turned into everything I feared: an uninspired dresser with neither poor nor great taste, a hairdo which fails to speak to me in even the tiniest voice, and an apparent preference to actually work rather than pose at working.

This approach fails to meet the needs of satirical bloggers. Tsk.

But, like I said, God, I just totally hate that coat.

Out with Condi, In with Hillary: Out with the Matching Armchairs, In with the Matching People

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is pictured with shrine maidens during her visit to Meiji Shrine in Tokyo February 17, 2009. REUTERS/Pool

Such a cute idea! From now on, when Hillary travels to a foreign land, instead of being presented with matching armchairs for photo-ops, she'll be presented with adorable matching locals in quaint native garb. The Condi years really are over!

Ha, ha, I'm just kidding. Of course they had some matching armchairs:

Also, you seriously cannot even fathom how many pictures have been taken of Hillary on this trip. I saw the top photo pop up this morning, and by this afternoon, it was already something like 15 pages in on Yahoo News photos. There will be no drought of Hillaryproduct.

This "Matching Armchairs Photo-Op" Stuff is Just Going to Take a While for Hillary to Perfect

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, right, talks with Tony Blair, left, Quartet Envoy during their meeting at the State Department in Washington, Wednesday, Feb. 4, 2009. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Ha! You can't escape destiny, Hils! The moment we've been waiting for arrived Wednesday. As you can see, Hillary has succumbed to the strange allure of the State Department Reception Room's famous matching armchairs. But, oh no, what have they done? They pulled the chairs too far apart, which results in the actors being too distant from each other for a nice, compact photo. Worse, they've replaced the central low table with two tables for each armchair. This may seem like a nice idea, a table for Hillary, a table for Tony, but the result is that the fireplace has become an ashy, central negative space. Basically, they've totally ruined the delicate equilibrium of the matching armchairs photo-op. See how Tony put his teacup on his outer table while Hils placed her... um... bloody mary on her inner table? See how these options have sabotaged the heraldic symmetry of the scene? Do you now understand better the function of the centrally placed small table with the tasteful flower arrangement (you may wish to refer to these classic examples)?

These people have a lot to learn.

Condi Nasty: The Secretary of State's Shoes, Hairdos, and Fabulous Fashions, Part One, 2005

I simply can't let Condoleezza Rice, the enigmatic figure who has been –and will likely continue to be– the primary focus of this blog, wave goodbye without a proper send-off. Consider this: however you may feel about what aspect of Condi's tenure at the State Department upon which I chose to focus, what many would consider to be the unimportant things (the shoes, the hairdos, the fabulous fashions), I feel that I have covered those things more extensively –and intensively– than any other web site.

I started this blog one month after Condi was named Secretary of State, February 25, 2005, the very same day Robin Givhan published her Condiverse-shattering essay on La Rice's long black coat and sexy boots (above). But in retrospect, Givhan's fawning praise wrote a check Condi ended up not cashing:

Rice boldly eschewed the typical fare chosen by powerful American women on the world stage. She was not wearing a bland suit with a loose-fitting skirt and short boxy jacket with a pair of sensible pumps. She did not cloak her power in photogenic hues, a feminine brooch and a non-threatening aesthetic.

Ironically, what Givhan praises Condi for not doing is an exact description of what we ended up getting for the next four years. But anyway! In 2005, Condi was freshly-scrubbed, liked to wear red, and had an adorable flip hairdo. Here are the highlights from year one:

• 01-26: Senate confirms Condi!
• 02-25: Robin Givhan writes about Condi's domilicious boots.
• 02-25: Princess Sparkle Pony debuts.
• 03-13: Bob Schieffer can hardly keep his composure, asks Condi about the boots.
• 03-30: Queen Latifah on Condi: "Can we really lay a hot-comb to that head?"
• 04-06: I realize that Condi's hairdo requires constant vigilance.
• 04-12: PSP documents "matching armchairs" phenomenon for the first time.

(Reuters, 04-12)

• 04-25: Associated Press Condigraphic mostly helpful only to PSP.
• 04-26: "Condi got to grimace at a tattooed breakdancer's crotch!"
• 05-04: PSP notes first instance of wire photographers getting bored with Condi.
• 05-12: Condi doll looks more like Mike Tyson in drag.
• 05-20: Major hairdo upheaval.
• 05-23: Last public appearance of The Flip.
• 05-31: PSP suggests hairdo alternatives:

(Image by Pony Pal™ Uncle Splatty)

• 06-06: "Mainstream" media finally notices Condi's new hairdo.
• 06-15: Meeting with Angelina Jolie inspires Condi to show some ass.
• 06-28: First recorded denials of Condi's presidential aspirations.
• 06-28: Condi 'n' Kofi: they finally kiss.
• 07-07: We see Condi's ugly handwriting for the first time.
• 07-11: Condi upstaged by tropical flower arrangement in Thailand.
• 07-13: First noted instance of Condi's face on a protest sign.
• 07-19: Existence of americansforrice.com "Team Condi" trucker hat confirmed.
• 07-25: PSP first notes the "signing a meaningless document" photo-op type.
• 07-28: PSP first notes the "Madison Time" photo-op type. In the same post, Reuters' Yuri Gripas first identified as superior Condirazzi.
• 07-31: Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System™ introduced to a thankful world.

• 08-08: Photoshoppers provide reference examples of "Severe" Condoleezza Hairdo Alerts.
• 08-11: PSP realizes that by concentrating so much attention on Condi's hairdo, he's neglecting her totally cute outfits.
• 08-14: PSP reaches out to the rest of the Condiverse, is spurned.
• 08-23: First Condi shoe speculation on PSP is chillingly prophetic: Ferragamo, maybe?
• 08-24: The labor-saving, Animagic, Disneytronic Condibot is introduced.
• 08-28: Puffy Combs portrays Condi at the MTV music awards.
• 09-01: The famous Ferragamo incident: Gawker reports Condi's shoe shopping spree during Hurricane Katrina.
• 09-11: Condi wears the most gigantic flag pin ever.
• 09-14: Bush writes a note to Condi during the World Summit asking her if he can go tinkle.
• 09-27: By this time, wire photographers find a dramatic set of drapes to be more interesting than Condi.

(Reuters 10-11-05)

• 10-06: Condi's Klingon ancestry noted for the first time.
• 10-11: PSP favorite photo-op ever: Condi has a terrifying encounter with a falcon-wielding Smurf (see above).
• 10-22: Condi's love affair with Jack Straw hits its zenith at a football game in Alabama.
• 10-25: She meets with three prime ministers in one day.
• 10-26: USA Today turns Condi into a Hell Demoness via an overenthusiastic use of Photoshop's sharpening filter.
• 11-02: PSP notes with relief the lack of Condi panty peekaboo shots despite all the matching armchair photo-ops. This is to her credit, because, as we'll see, the Condirazzi will later make this a top priority, a mission which they will ultimately fail. This is Condi's sole victory.
• 11-08: Condi's over reliance on the "holding the invisible sphere" hand gesture first noted.
• 11-12: Condi equated with Maryanne on Gilligan's Island.
• 11-30: USA Today's Barbara Slavin scores the silliest ever interview with Condi about her fab fashions: I cannot confirm or deny. [ Laughter .]

(Image by Pony Pal z7q2)

• 12-02: Superiority of Reuters Condirazzi Yuri Gripas reaffirmed.
• 12-03: Condi wears her later-infamous Red Dress of Grievances.
• 12-07: AP publishes chilling montage of Condi's hands while Reuters settles for a terrifying angel of death.
• 12-09: Condimania hits an all-time high when she is so mobbed on her trip to Europe that photographers must shoot through each others' tripods to get a glimpse of her.
• 12-19: Condi achieves total spiritual enlightenment at the Heritage Foundation.
• 12-19: I finally put the pieces together and realize that Condi's "holding the invisible sphere" hand gesture is actually a small, spherical, invisible friend she likes to cuddle in times of stress:

Quite a year for Condi! 2005 started with her being rewarded for her dismal performance as national security advisor by being promoted to secretary of state, and ended with America's Princess Diplomat at maximum over-exposure and fake credibility. This was truly Condi's honeymoon year. Accomplishments? Are you serious?

Stay tuned for 2006 (the best Condiyear), 2007, and 2008/9!

Has Condi Already Had Her Last Matching Armchairs Photo-Op?

In this image released Thursday Dec. 4, 2008 by Pakistan's Press Information Department, U. S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, meets Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari in Islamabad, Pakistan, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2008. Rice said the Pakistani government must mount a 'robust response' to the terror shooting in India, which blames the carnage on terrorists operating from neighboring Pakistan. (AP Photo/Press Information Department, HO)

Yikes! Is it true? As far as I can tell, the photo above shows the Condi's most recent Matching Armchairs Classic™ Photo-Op. It was so unremarkable at the time that I didn't even bother posting what is now clearly an historic photograph. Did the State Department consciously eliminate the MAPO? Will Hillary carry on using the classic State Dept. Reception Room MAPO? Or will the MAPO dwindle with Condi's exit? So many questions about this important topic!

Coming Attractions

Condi's Hot Lisbon Action

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice meets with Portuguese Prime Minister Jose Socrates Thursday, Sept. 4 2008, at the Sao Bento palace in Lisbon, ahead of a trip to North Africa that will take her to Libya, Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco. (AP Photo/Armando Franca)

Oh, yeah, right... Condi! She's in Portugal and she's going to go to a bunch of other places, too! Not much to say other than to congratulate the Lisbons for executing a perfect Matching Armchairs Photo-Op™. It's lovely!

But OMG, I have to say that I can. not. wait. for Condi to meet Daffy! This'll be good.

They Should Stop Calling Them "Surprise Visits" and Start Calling Them "Pop Quizzes"

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, speaks at a press conference with Iraq's foreign minister Hoshyar Zebari, not pictured, in the heavily fortified Green Zone in Baghdad, Iraq Thursday, Aug. 21, 2008. U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Iraq's foreign minister Hoshyar Zebari said Thursday that American and Iraqi officials agree that timetables should be set for a U.S. troop withdrawal, but conceded that nailing down a broader pact on future relations is difficult. (AP Photo/Ali Abbas, Pool)

What's all this about agreeing on timetables? Is this the new thing now? Does George know about this?

Anyway, who could have guessed that Dr. Ferragamo, after her stops in France, Georgia and Poland, would make a OMG SURPRISE visit to Iraq? Well, I mean, other than me and everybody who reads this blog. PEEKABOO! But this is kinda cute: the Iraqis are so totally democratic now that they, too, can protest against Condi:

(AFP)

They whipped up that little protest against Condi with totally no warning! What spunk!

Anyway, back to Condi. My first thought when I heard about our Princess Diplobot's OMG SURPRISE visit was yes, yes, I know she'll be safe in the Green Zone. But will there be an adequate supply of facial tissues? Weren't you worried, too? Well, rest easy:

(AFP)

See? All is well in Iraq. Neat!

Also, ha ha! That Poland deal yesterday? I was totally all, like, thinking Condi was taunting the Russkies, her old arch enemies who made her famous. But it turns out I was wrong! It turns out all the missiles they're going to put in Poland are to protect Poland from... North Korea and Iran:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and her Polish counterpart agreed to place 10 missile defense interceptors in Poland to defend against threats from Iran and North Korea, not to weaken Russia, the secretary said.

“This is an agreement that, of course, will establish a missile defense site here in Poland, a missile defense site that will help us to deal with the new threat to the 21st century of long-range missile threats from countries like Iran or from North Korea,” Rice said yesterday at the Polish presidential palace in Warsaw.

See, it has nothing to do with Russia! So now do you understand how totally nice it was for us to give them those missiles? Now our friends in Poland don't have to worry about being constantly badgered by Iran and North Korea. Phew!

China Upstages Condi with Gorgeous Matching Armchairs Photo-Ops

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, seen here with Chinese Premier Wen Jiaboa in Beijing, has pressed China on sensitive human rights issues, but said she was encouraged by their decision to hold talks with the Dalai Lama's envoys. (AFP/Oded Balilty)

So pretty! Condi could learn a lot from these people when it comes to setting up lovely photo-ops. And they probably torture people less, too! Neither of the AFP photos here are dated, but I believe the above is from today, and this one is from yesterday:

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, seen here with Chinese President Hu Jintao, has pressed China's leaders on sensitive human rights issues, but said she was encouraged by their decision to hold talks with the Dalai Lama's envoys. (AFP/Oded Balilty)

Good stuff! As for Condi's diplomatic efforts:

Rice had earlier said she would urge Chinese leaders to support U.N. sanctions against Zimbabwe. The U.S. wants an arms embargo and travel restrictions against the government of Robert Mugabe for suppressing political opponents and their supporters.

But China gave no indication it is willing to support the initiative.

Oh well. Hey, the pictures are pretty!

Burning Up for Their Serbian Love

People burn a poster of Serbian President Boris Tadic and U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) during a protest in the northern Kosovo flashpoint town of Mitrovica May 1, 2008. The words on the poster read "I gave Kosovo to the EU".
REUTERS/Nebojsa Markovic (KOSOVO)

They're hot 4 Condi! They used a shot of Dr. Ferragamo and Tadic from a photo-op in September, 2006, so enough with holding the grudges, OK? Sheesh!

*sob* Leave Condi alone! *sob* *sob* *mascara streaking*

Any way, can you believe that as diligently as I try to keep up with Condi's mad escapades, it's still possible to fall a little behind? So here's she is yesterday working the matching armchairs with a hot Lebanese lady:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, with Lebanon's Social Affairs Minister Nayla Moawad, Wednesday, April 30, 2008,at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

Social Affairs Minister? Is Condi planning a Lebanese cotillion?

Also, how could I have missed this exquisite shot from Tuesday, a sensitive portrait of a person whose outer glamor utterly reflects every last bit of goodness within:

AFP/Getty Images

Another Reuters Photographer Attempts to See London, France

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) shakes hands with Haiti's Prime Minister Jacques-Edouard Alexis at the beginning of their meeting in the Secretary's Outer Office at the State Department in Washington March 27, 2008. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

It's our old friend, Condirazzi Iron Opographer Yuri Gripas! And once again he makes the matching armchairs photo-op look easy. But I can't help but notice that once again we're seeing a Reuters snapper shooting Condi from an exaggeratedly low angle. Is this a new Reuters policy? Are they bound and determined to get the panty shot before she leaves the State Department?

Well, what can I say? Hooray!

Following in Condi's Footsteps

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, left, shakes hands with Turkey's Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan prior to a meeting in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, March 24, 2008. Cheney was greeted by several small protests during a brief visit to Ankara on Monday where he held talks with Turkish leaders on regional security issues as a part of his Middle East tour. (AP Photo/Umit Bektas, Pool)

Superb, no? That is one of the most impressive matching armchairs photo-ops I've ever seen. It should be in the textbooks at the diplomat schools where all the future Condis go. In fact, who needs Condi at all when Dick Cheney is capable of following in her footprints and tidying up her little unfinished bits of business (you'll recall that when Condi was in Turkey in November, they threw darts at her). He accomplishes this with threats and a crooked little smile. Neat!

And if I may display a little of the thoroughness which behooves (Yay! Hooves!) a writer who claims to be such a smarty-pants expert on the hallowed matching armchairs, you may wonder if Condi herself has ever enjoyed this perfect setting? Why yes, she has, on April 25, 2006:

He's even wearing the same tie! His lucky meet-the-Americans tie!

Triple Header

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, talks with National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, right, as Deputy National Security Adviser for Regional Affairs Judith Ansley, center, looks on during President Bush's meeting with Poland's Prime Minister Donald Tusk, Monday, March 10, 2008, in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Wow, it was a busy Monday in Condiland, a big triple photo-op extravaganza! It started off with one of the Standing Around in the White House and Not Knowing What to Do with Our Hands routine. And look! Condi is obviously conferring with her spherical, invisible friend! We haven't seen it in a while! Yay! But ew, Stephen Hadley, ew, ew, ew!

But it gets better, because now it's guest stars! Hooray! And it's none other than frolicsome Tzipi, Condi's erstwhile sapphic lover:

(AP)

Folks, I find this body language to be highly ambiguous. Are they blocking each other? Reaching out towards each other? Are they hurting inside but too proud to beg? Oh Condi 'n' Tzipi, you can work it out!

But if it doesn't work out, well... well, that brings us to our third fabulous photo-op of the day. Condi imported a whole harem and that'll show that Tzipi!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, center, and Andrea Bottner, senior coordinator, Office of International Women's Issues, left, pose with recipients of the 2nd Annual International Women of Courage Awards at the State Department, Monday, March 10, 2008, in Washington. From left are, Bottner; Virisila Buadromo of Fiji; Valdete Idrizi of Kosovo; Farhiyo Farah Ibrahim of Somalia; Rice; Nibal Thawabteh of Palestine; and Dr. Eaman Al-Gobory of Iraq. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

Hey, I won't knock it. And it's such a cute idea to have Condi there for contrast amongst these remarkable women with their peaceful achievements. It's kinda like that great Sesame Street song One of these things is not like the other in real life! Kinda!

No Shortage of Matching Armchairs in China for Condi

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao, right, talks with U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the Zhongnanhai compound in Beijing, China Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2008. Rice said Tuesday she expects China to help prod North Korea into fully declaring its nuclear programs as part of efforts to breath life into a stalled disarmament process. (AP Photo/Ng Han Guan, Pool)

I always enjoy the matching armchairs shots where they have to stuff a bunch of translators and advisers discreetly behind the chairs. Peek-a-boo! To get a sense of just how grand this photo-op was, let's pull back a little:

And not to be left out, the Chinese president had his very own MAPO moment with La Rice:

Well done, Condi!