Friday, October 20, 2006

Still Waiting for the "I Helped Senator Larry Craig Use the Restroom" Merit Badge

I'm sorry to say that what you're seeing above is not a joke, but an actual merit badge coming soon to a Boy Scout near you. Defamer has the goods in two posts:
From the "If we told you we made this up, you'd accuse of being really high" file, today the MPAA is announcing a new program in which it will seek to re-educate the movie-downloading terrorist cells represented by our local Boy Scout troops about the importance of "respecting copyrights," hoping to turn the little knot-tying, merit-badge-hoarding pirates into a beige-clad army of pro-industry good.
Indeed. And again I find myself weeping, sobbing into my pillow, "What's a satirist to do when his job is being done without him?"


gregg said...

I used to be a Boy Scout, and I have a few friends who stayed with the program to earn Eagle Scout status.

One thing I can guarantee is that this merit badge will prevent scouting piracy with roughly the same effectiveness as the "fire safety" badge's prevention of scouting pyromania.

(Have you ever thrown flour into a campfire? It's fun!)

Anonymous said...

Oh -- cheer up my pretty PSP! How they try but can never, ever, and I do mean EVER take your place. Their sense of irony is... well honey it just ain't what yours is.

I wonder when the eschew gay rights badge will be ready?

P.S. - i have never thrown flour into a fire but once i tried to douse an oven fire with baking soda. let us just say that it was a tremendous error in judgement on my part. and how i shake with laughter at the very thought of it now!

Anonymous said...

Damn. Yet another badge I couldn't earn in a million years. WHy isn't there one for fellacio? Or even auto-erotic solo performance?

guru-On-A-Soap-Box said...

When forced to go to Girl Scouts, I CHEATED to get a few piddling badges. I was a smart kid, and it all seemed like just so much more bullshit in my little bullshit strewn life. And all the little Debbies and Marys and Theresas at my Catholic school were raving bitchs and THEY took it seriously.

So now you are being pushed to go BEYOND satire, and what would that be? 'Post-Satire'. You can do it! Come on! 'Post-Satire' is like 'Post-Existentialism'. Anyone is free to define it using multi-syllabled words while breathing bourbon fumes on blank pages.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

I like your way of thinking, Guru. I think post satire goes hand-in-hand with meta-irony: I pretend to be making comments on the nature of shallowness, but end up being totally shallow in the process. It's the satirical way of having your cake and eating it, too. Yay!

guru-On-A-Soap-Box said...

Hmmm. Mmmmmm...................I should stop-- but, think 'meta-irony' + 'situational irony' and do we have the Bush administration's policy on the religious right?

Time to go chain myself to my life sized plastic Socrates. But no matches this time......

Carmen Sutra said...

I love Fran's idea of an "eschew gay rights" badge, except that it sounds way too gay - even for me.