Brained By Falling Masonry

The whole Ex-Gay™ thing is so totally, like, two years ago, OK? But, oops, we've gone and exported it to the UK. Sorry about that!

You have to read Patrick Strudwick's excellent undercover exposé in today's The Independent. It's brief, to-the-point, a little creepy, and unsparing, and we love that in an article about these crazy people. It's basically the same thing we've come to know here in the US, and it's all based on the "work" of the usual American Ex-Gay™ suspects

But, naturally, when something American gets exported to Great Britain, they tend to add their own little local flavours to the fun, and thus:

She moves on. "Any Freemasonry in the family?" No, I say, again asking her to elaborate. "Because that often encourages it as well. It has a spiritual effect on males and it often comes out as SSA [Same-Sex Attraction™]."

HOTT.

Haggard's a Pitcher, If You Know What I Mean

A grand swish of the combable tail to eagle-eyed Pony Pal™ Addict, who spotted the following underreported info on CNN:

Dearest Sparklepony
I ask you, how does CNN know Ted Haggard was the top in this relationship?? (see above) Inquiring minds want to know.

I admit I'm surprised, too. He really seems a little femme to me. Well, if this scandal has taught us anything, it's that you can't judge a book by its cover!

UPDATE: It's all true.

UPDATE: According to Haggard's favorite prostitute, thoughtfully transcribed by our pals at Wonkette, CNN was woefully off on their declaration of the preacher's topness:

“When I was on the radio show in Denver, the question was asked: Did you practice safe sex? I said, We used a condom once. The talk show host goes, You mean he wore the condom once? I said, Uh, no, I did.”

When Ex-Gay Rivals Turn on Each Other, Everybody Wins!

OMG, have you ever heard bitch-slapping quite as delightful as this? The LA Times delivers a real thrill-ride in their totally fun exposé of what can only be called an incipient Ex-Gay™ turf war between Alan Chambers' telegenic yet fey group Exodus International on one side, and the decidedly less festive National Assn. for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality on the other. What a delicious spectacle:

One psychiatrist called for allowing schoolchildren to shame and ridicule classmates who don't act according to stereotypical gender roles. Another board member, a therapist, asserted that slaves may have been better off in chains than in "savage" Africa.

One of NARTH's scientific advisors has quit in protest, and a prominent therapist has canceled his presentation at the group's annual conference next month. Alan Chambers, who leads the nation's largest support group for "ex-gays," urged NARTH's members to "think long and hard about the mission of the organization."

And after all, if there's anybody who likes things long and hard, it's Alan Chambers.

Oklahoma Preacher Just Wants to "Minister" to Cops

Poor Lonnie Latham. The head (LOL) of Oklahoma's South Tulsa Baptist Church (pictured above) was hanging around the gay hustler pickup spot, simply ready to jump in and minister to any nearby cops. Then, through some kinda zany misunderstanding, he got thrown in jail on lewdness charges. There must be some mistake:

Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex. Latham was arrested and his 2005 Mercedes automobile was impounded...
When he left jail, he said:

"I was set up. I was in the area pastoring to police."

Indeed! I'm sure this will be cleared up soon, and Latham can get back to his important work fighting the looming evil of gay marriage.

EDIT: Damn these right-wingers and their deceptive photo stylists! Just like with Abramoff yesterday, my fantasies are crushed by the discovery of additional pictures. Here's the mugshot:

UPDATE: My post about Abramoff's clothing is a top story on Pajamas Media. I'm... um... so totally honored!

Awkward Introductions

Can you imagine? The Merry Olde Church of England has devised the ultimate practical joke to play on the clergy: You can have a same-sex partner, they tell them, but you can't have sex. Any volunteers? *snicker*

BREAKING! Pink Smoke Billowing From Sistine Chimney!

Please Visit My Friends!

Well, they don't know who I am, but I feel all... licky... towards them. Speakspeak.org are nice people who want to make sure that you can still watch what you want to watch on TV. And isn't that what America is all about: Watching what you want to watch on TV? No? Well, it's part of it, right? Please, just visit them and support them. Princess Sparkle Pony commands it!

Oh, and I can think of one children's television character who most definitely is not a hairdresser, and here's a picture to prove it:

Can You Spot the Hairdresser?

See if you can spot him/her below:



OK! It was a trick: None of the above are hairdressers! They're all guest speakers at Focus on the Family's terrific Love Won Out conference, coming to a town near you soon! I think their deal is that they train people not to be like hairdressers, but I don't think it's working.