Monday, May 04, 2009

Condi Lies to Children About Torture

In this photograph provided by Rabinowitz-Dorf, Leon Wieseltier, left, talks with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the the Jewish Primary Day School of the Nation's Capital in Washington Sunday, May 3, 2009. (AP Photo/Rabinowitz-Dorf, Ron Sachs)

Oh look, it's Matching Armchairs LIVE! Yay! I believe this is the first MAPO since Condi left Foggy Bottom, so it's historic, I guess.

But it seems that all anybody wants to ask Condi about these days is torture, which is icky and totally rude because it makes her uncomfortable. This time it was a fourth grader who wanted to ask the question newspapers refuse to ask, and as you can see, it made Condi's meet-children-cute thing a little tense:


So the kid was all, like, "OMG, which Jonas Brother is your favorite and why did we, like, torture 'n' stuff?" Condi then scrunched up her forehead and gave her standard response, which is, "OMG, we were so scared after 911 that we made sure to declare everything legal so that the President wouldn't break any laws." See? Such a simple answer! Why do people keep asking about it? Sheesh! Look, it's a simple logic problem:

  • We didn't torture.
  • We DID use the technique called waterboarding.
  • Therefore waterboarding isn't torture.

Even a child should be able to unravel understand that logic.


Bartman said...

This morning (Monday) on TV Condi looks like someone closed her right eye for her. Is she blaming this on allergies, 9/11, or what?

Cynic Al said...

I wonder if former Sec. Rice has yet realized that she will spend the rest of her life answering this question?
Payback, it's a bitch.

Matty Boy said...

Gosh, reporting on what Condi says. That's always been BOR-ING!

Can anyone make out what brand of shoes she was wearing? If she gets sent to prison, will she still be able to have her nice wardrobe?

I admit the second question is very hypothetical, but the first one is vital!

g said...

she will spend the rest of her life answering this questionLet's pray that this is so.

puravida said...

We now have children asking if the U.S. tortured. I am...aghast.

Thanks, Condi. Thanks a lot.

Anonymous said...

WaPo disgustingly "investigated" who put the kid up to it. Because WaPo loves the powerful and does not think they should be mocked. Because WaPo mistakes its own frequent praise of the powerful for power itself. May they all be waterboarded, since they don't consider it torture!

Ms A to Z said...

That Jonas Brothers crack sure puts it in context- from the mouths of babes. Brilliant blog posting!

Madduane said...

Hey, Condi, y'know what tortures me? The way you keep having to explain how torture isn't torture. Over and over again.

Why do you think people aren't getting it? And, isn't it annoying? Like, really annoying?

So let me ask you something...

Matty Boy said...

I was just thinking about how this could have worked out if Condi was still National Security Advisor or Secretary of State.

A kid would start asking a tough question and then Condi would say "Look, children... it's Kristi Yamaguchi!"

Problem solved.

Lau said...

Oh, Matty Boy,

(a) People in jail aren't rich with nice shoes.

(b) Condi is rich with nice shoes.

(c) Therefore, Condi won't go to jail.

There's a certain temporal problem there, but otherwise I think the inference holds.

Distributorcap said...

does condi know what children are?

next time i hope one of the kids asks her which shoe stores she hit while Katrina flooded NO

Matty Boy said...

Dear Lau,

If we are doing logic/mathematics, does one counterexample work or do we need two?

Counterexample #1: Martha Stewart.

Counterexample #2: Patty Hearst.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I loved it that the little kid pinged her with his question, and how she pulled a Dick Nixon with her "If the president okayed it, then it wasn't torture" reply.
Could she possibly be more full of shit?

dguzman said...

She looks weird in that 2nd photo, almost as if her 'bot facial "muscles" are short-circuiting. Even the Condibot can deny reality for only so long before the microchips start to melt.

tireiron chef said...

Botox injections or crumbling soul?

Kathy said...

Patty Hearst & Martha were examples, see.

Anonymous said...

So the PR machine paid to keep the rather idiotic Condi -- and that is how history will judge her, if it isn't doing so already -- on the media map so her bound-to-be-silly books will sell by sending her to "safe" intellectual territory -- a primary school -- really blew it. Kids are far smarter than "Dr" Rice or the handlers she hopes will make her eight years with Bush really pay off -- in hard cash via book sales ("books" she of course will not write herself).

Peter Dow said...

I want to ask the Princess Sparklepony blog owner about this because I don't think anyone notices Condi appearance more than he (except myself of course).

(Also I see that Bartman commenting above noticed this too.)
Did someone punch Condi? She looks swollen around the right eye.

Condoleezza Rice is sporting a swelling around her right eye. Why?

Did someone involved with the "anti-torture", anti-Rice witch-hunt protests at Stanford University assault Condi?

Is this the "Stanford Progressive"'s idea of "progressive" - inciting students to behave like thugs on the campus assaulting women?

That is not progressive that is criminal.

Now looking at two videos - before and after - Condi seems to have got a new swelling and maybe a bruise too around her right eye which she may have covered up with make-up.

However I know Condi's face very well having looked at many of photographs and videos of her.

Look and judge for yourself.

Before video - no swelling around Condi's right eye. Monday April 27th 2009

After video - swelling around Condi's right eye. Sunday May 3rd 2009.Has someone punched Condi?

Where were her Secret Service protection officers when it happened?

Has Condi sent them away while she was on campus?

Have the US government withdrawn her personal protection officers some or all of the time?

If so that may now have been proven to be a careless and dangerous decision.

Condi needs full-time protection especially when she is out of her home and the United States of America has to stand by its former officers and protect them from violent assault or assassination after they leave office.

Possibly, a very disturbing development?

The other possibility I guess is that Condi might have recently had cosmetic surgery near that part of her face?Princess Sparklepony, what say you? I value your opinion on this matter. Is there a swelling around Condi's right eye that you can see?

Peter Dow
Group Owner, Rice for President Yahoo GroupEmail me to
or to

PS. Condi - "This was not a Nixon-Frost moment".

Fran said...

Poor Condi~ She was used to only having to answer to the Decider--- now she has to face those tough 4th graders.

How much you want to bet Condi is canceling her speaking engagements calender for a while till this torture thing blows over.
Only pre approved talking point certified GOP engagements for a while.

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