Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Condi's Matching Armchairs... Live On Stage!

It's been a while, and I've been neglecting the Condinews lately, so let's take an overdue peek inside the glittering, magical world of America's Princess Diplomat! The latest thing is an interview with La Condi in this Sunday's New York Times Magazine. It's been "condensed and edited" for the web, so bummer, because it it totally the most boring, uninformative interview ever, even by Condi standards, and that's saying something. The only good part is when she says that Donald Rumsfeld "can be a grumpy guy," masterfully proving that she can take any interesting topic and turn it into a letdown.

On the lighter side, of course, everybody is all a-dither about Dr. Ferragamo's upcoming appearance on something called "30 Rock," which I guess from the title is some kind of television pop music show for people born in the early 80s. Condi gets to play an awkward former secretary of state who used to date one of the Baldwin brothers. Weird. I think I'll only believe this if it ends up on the youtubes.

And then... something about golf, something about golf... sorry, I'm just doing this off the top of my head. Oh, right, this is an old story, but it's about something that hasn't happened yet (isn't that just the internet for you; by the time something actually happens, you're over it): Condi will be hosting a tournament at some formerly racist country club next month, so we can all look forward to that.

And finally, Condi was LIVE! ON STAGE! at Colorado State University last week, a sold-out extravaganza, and from the sounds of it, it wasn't terribly exciting. She gave her "It's so nice to read the paper in the morning and not have to do anything about it" anecdote which she's using in every interview, every appearance lately. "We do have a lot of work to do to defend freedom," she revealed. Boilerplate Condistuff. But they did the greatest thing! To make La Rice feel at home, they set her up on the stage with a moderator seated in, yes, a classic "matching armchairs" set-up:

(Photo via Colorado State University's flickr stream, where they quaintly think they can prevent people from downloading their photos)

It's almost like they followed my tutorial: the twin armchairs angled just so, the neutral background, the low table, the tasteful flower  arrangement, even an optional flag! It's like Condi's returned to her special place. Well done, CSU.


Unknown said...

Hand-held microphones, really? I guess things are tough all over if CSU can't rent some lapel mics.

Diane Griffin said...

I think they just did it (the mics) to make Condi hold a phallic symbol.

Lady Wesley said...

The asymmetrical flower arrangement is way edgier than anything ever seen from the State Dept.

Frank said...

Shouldn't it be "America's Deposed Princess Diplomat"? Of course, that might give a whiff of romantic exiled royalty, like the tragic Russian princesses in Paris in the 1920s, which is far too interesting.

Fran said...

Off topic but not really... I just saw a promo, Condi to be on 30 Rock tonight, as Alec Baldwin's ex girlfriend???

Matthew Hubbard said...

She doesn't have a flag, just an orange light that might be Hell beckoning.

Hell for Condi would be a world more boring than herself, a world where she wonders "Is there anyone anywhere who can say what they mean, or is it just all meaningless shit for eternity?"

We can hope, right?

TexasYankee said...

But but but the matching arm chairs set-up missing the obligatory box of tissues. Although I guess that is more of a Middle Eastern thing. Oh well.