Quickie: Fox Nation Readers Pass on Murder of Abortion Doc as Opportunity for Self-Reflection

Responses to the murder of George Tiller at the never-ending flame war known as Fox Nation. Basically, they're OK with the murder, but very angry that he was allowed to attend church:

• After the fact, should of dragged his sorry corpse through town and hung it from the highest tree. GO PENGUIN'S.
• you get what you give ! you cann't hide from GOD / YOU'LL FACE HIM IN THE END ! ALL YOUR LIFE [ BEGINGING *TO END ] GOD SEES !
• The man was a murderer and I for one will not mourn him nor shed a tear at all.
• Any church that would allow him there certainly did not demand appropriate conduct of those in its congregation.
• He's actually lucky it happened to him rather than some performing retro-active abortions on HIS grandchildren.
• What goes around comes around

UPDATE: Fox seems to have deleted the reader comments from the story, perhaps embarrassed, for once, by their bloodthirstyness. Why so nervous, Fox?

Pink Pony Has Mixed Feelings About Ursula Plassnik Posing for Photo-Op with Garden Gnome

Gruppenbild: Plassnik und Van der Bellen bei der Überzeugungsarbeit gegen die geistige Verzwergung der Republik (Kommentar der anderen). Der kleine Kerl mit der Zipfelmütze ist eine Leihgabe namens "Wunibald". (derStandard.at)

It's been so long! Eagle-eyed Austrian Pony Pal™ Katharina spotted this report and this photo gallery of our favorite affable giantess, but what to make of it? Katharina reports:

Ursula Plassnik has somewhat disappeared from the glitzy world of international politics, so I was delighted to find her and her gnome pal (the shabby looking guy on the right is the former leader of the Austrian Green party) enjoying some quality time in a park in Vienna. (Apparently, the whole point of this whole photo op was to generate interest among Austrians in view of the upcoming European elections). Hope this is something that true connoisseurs of our favourite diplomazon might enjoy!

And what a fine fix it is! Two sparkley hooves way up, Katharina!

Jill Biden: Pretty Fab

Dr. Jill Biden, wife of U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, arrives for the start of the final round of the 2009 National Spelling Bee in Washington, May 28, 2009. REUTERS/Jim Young

Spelling bees are so hot right now, but va-va-voom, so was Jill Biden, really riching it up last night. It is a superb outfit, although I still don't like her jewelry choices.

But I do like Jill. I like her a lot. I like her fashions, too, because she's adventurous and has kinda weird taste, so you can end up with an interesting surprise like last night's ensemble, or a total, exuberant disaster like on Tuesday:

(AP)

Bad and weird, right? I love it. I mean, I don't love the outfit; I love that it's so awkward. Fun! Yay for Jill! But, OMG, they really need to get a new person to do her accessories, because I just hate her jewelry. That's totally the only thing I'd change.

Picture of the Day: Imagine YOU with Elvis' Nasal Irrigator

This image released by Julien's Auctions shows a glass nasal wash used before each concert to irrigate Elvis Presley's sinuses with a mixture of warm salt water. Julien's Auctions Summer Entertainment Sale will feature memorabilia from Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley on June 26 and June 27, 2009, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Julien's Auctions)

Photoblogging: Ode to 2008

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Tom Tancredo Successfully Purges Last Remaining Latino Stragglers from GOP

UPDATE: here's an excellent post on the matter from Matt Yglesias.

Quickie: Conspiracy Theorists Have the Best Hair

Orly Taitz:

Jeff Rense:

EDIT: I guess I should explain who these people are so that you don't have to Google them. Taitz is one of the leaders of the "Obama wasn't born in the United States" movement, and is currently involved in vicious birther vs. birther infighting and lawsuits, which is hilarious. Rense never met a conspiracy he didn't like; if it was on X-Files, he believes it's true. Visit their respective web sites at your own peril.

Look, I Know Land of the Lost is So Hot Right Now and Everything, But This is Ridiculous

This is no doubt a publicity stunt, but running a Sleestak against Arlen Specter? Can they do that?

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Think Pink

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UPDATE! Pony Pal™ z7q2 offers this superb remix (click for bigger):

John Edwards Left Richard Cohen Alone with His Wife Once

There are three kinds of Richard Cohen columns: the merely stupid, the boring and stupid, and the bizarre and stupid. This week, whoah, it's the third kind. Wow.

You see, Richard just can't get Elizabeth Edwards out of his head. She's everywhere! And it makes him feel icky! And he can't escape:

I don't want Elizabeth Edwards in my life. Yet I cannot avoid her. She shadows me. Her cherubic visage is on every passing television screen. I have been spending time of late in hospitals visiting a loved one. Elizabeth Edwards is on in every room I pass. She's on in the waiting area, in the reception area -- for all I know, she is on in the operating room.

Goodness! Pretty soon she'll be showing up on his coins, his driver's license, etc., just like in Philip K. Dick's Ubik! This situation is obviously sending him into one of those psychotic episodes where he stands in front of the mirror and yells at himself:

What effect will it have on me? [...] Wait! Can I pass judgment on her? She's got cancer, for crying out loud. Her husband cheated on her while he was running for president. Just once, he told her. A one-night stand, he told her. When her cancer was in remission, he told her. Does that make it okay? Does it make it less bad? Does it make it any of my business?

Oh dear. Why must Elizabeth Edwards torment him so? More importantly, is there an insidery, personal anecdote Cohen can add to this? Of course there is. There must be:

I know John and Elizabeth Edwards -- not well, just a bit. I've been to their house -- the old house, the one in Washington. I had breakfast with them. I found her smart, likable. I never knew what to make of him. A three-dollar bill, I always suspected. She drove me to where I could get a cab. We talked. What about? Can't remember. Now this. What to think?

Are you imagining Richard sitting in the passenger seat, sweat pouring down his forehead as he shifts uncomfortably, crossing and uncrossing his legs, wondering if he should make a move on Elizabeth? Like he did, successfully, with Peter Jenning's wife that one time? Yeah, me too. Ew.

Luckily, he then splashes a cold bucket of Octomom on that little fantasy. No, really.

WTF? This is Cohen attempting to be funny, or satirical, or something. For the first time, I'm actually worried about him.

But this, too, shall pass.

Cross-Eyed and Painless

Oh, god, I know, I know... I shouldn't pay any attention to Meghan McCain, and I shouldn't pay attention to Twitter, and I shouldn't use song titles for post headlines. Sue me.

But I just thought you should see the caricature Megs is using as the background for her Twitter page. It's hard for me to believe that she thinks this 1. is flattering or 2. doesn't make her look like she's got an extra chromosome or 3. even looks like her. I'm going to have nightmares about those hands.

Is she really as shallow and low-wattage as she seems? Signs increasingly point to YES.

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Cyclops

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Book Report: Bigfoot by Joshua Blu Buhs

I sure am enjoying Joshua Blu Buhs*' fascinating take on the Bigfoot legend, just published by University of Chicago Press, and not just because –full disclosure!– I handled the contract for his use of an NGA artwork in it (Our image isn't online, but you can see a similar print here).

Buhs isn't interested in whether or not Bigfoot is "real," but rather in the legend as folklore, making it different from previous books on the subject. Folklorists ignored Bigfoot in the past because it was too "fake," too pop, too obviously pushed and created by mass media, newspapers, television, documentaries narrated by Leonard Nimoy, etc. Buhs, however, places the modern tales of pastoral man-apes within a rich matrix of legends of "wild men" going back in a more or less unbroken line for centuries in nearly every culture, from the hairy shield bearers in Martin Schongauer's 15th Century engravings to PT Barnum's "What is It." Buhs never condescends towards either the subject matter or those involved in propegating the legends, nor does he get cutesy. That said, it's a lively and fun read.

The author basically explains that if there were no Bigfoot, it would be necessary for man to invent him... and, well, duh.

I'm only about 1/3 of the way through Buh's engrossing book, but I can already heartily recommend it to readers looking for something off-kilter yet bursting with insight into man's awkward relationship with nature and his own primativism.

Also: if the designer of the jacket, highly untypical for an academic publication, doesn't win an award, the world is unjust.

*Best name ever.

OMG BREAKING: Cindy McCain Got a Haircut

via Huffington Post so, naturally, no photo credit.

All we have so far are photos obviously taken from, like, two miles away with a telephoto lens, but there you have it: new bob hairdo! Consider your world rocked.

On a related note, how does Huffington get away with never providing photo credits? God, it's frustrating.

A dollop of Twinkle Toes Hoof Glitter to Pony Pal™ Matthew for the tip!

Photoblogging: Girls! Girls! Girls!

Click for larger version (recommended)

Pony Pals™ know that I like to maintain a certain level of paranoia towards blogging about work, but when I saw this lineup of lovely lasses in painting conservation, I just couldn't resist. What an unlikely trio! And yet, look at how their postures echo and mirror each other. Neat!

From left to right, they are Copley's Anne Fairchild Bowler, 1763, Modigliani's Madame Amédée, 1918, and the saucy Young Woman in White by a follower of David (look how yellow she used to be!), c.1798. Totally ruining the effect in the background is that attention whore, Renoir's horrible Girl with a Goddamn Watering Can (ugh), and in the foreground is some generic Madonna.

Bonus! Also visible is the back of this weird little painting.

Off Topic: You Lose Your Push When You Beat Around the Bush

I had another dental day yesterday, and I'm curiously uninspired today. On the other hand, I've been on a Captain Beefheart kick lately, so please feel free to have your mind blown by the video above. It's from 1972, a promotional film (but live!) made for The Spotlight Kid, so this is the Captain during the period when he got fat and wore Nudie suits all the time. But OMG, the Magic Band was never more amazing or better looking than this. I especially love drummer Art Tripp's (not Ed Marimba, as he is misidentified) caveman look. So chic!

Listen to it LOUD.

Quickie: Meghan McCain Still Droning On and On

I don't think there's much more to say about Megs, but Gawker summed it up perfectly this morning:

We wanted to like her. But as we've become more and more exposed to her with the passage of time we've come to find her, well, pretty fucking grating, intolerably insufferable, the complete and total embodiment of everything wrong with a whiny-ass generation of privilege that wants, no expects, everything to just fall right into their precious little laps without having to do shit to earn whatever it is they desire.

So Meghan's out there calling bitches out in her Daily Beast column, painfully attempting to enter into the punditry, signing "high six figure" book deals, dropping F-bombs on Twitter, and acting like a cunt-y diva at gala events, all on the back of her father's name. So what's the deal with Meghan McCain? What is it that she's angling for here. Does she truly hope to become a "voice" for a new generation of progressive Republicans, a genuine agent of change, or is she just another fame-whore high on life in the public eye.

Missing question marks aside, these are all questions with obvious answers.

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Dark Side of the Moon

Click any of these for a larger version.

It's not often that a single bus affords so many tantalizing angles! I wish I had taken more of this one, but I did get a couple of details:

Michael Steele Does the Hokey Pokey

It's a big day for Mike! He has some important meeting where they'll rename the Democratic Party 'n' stuff, so yay! If you're wondering what he'll say at the meeting, well, Politico has made it easy by allowing Steele to publish his comments as an op-ed, which is really most accommodating of them.

So anyway, Michael says that the GOP has "turned a corner," which totally makes me think about all those corners we turned throughout the war in Iraq during the Bush administration.

But wait! Michael says I'm not supposed to look back:

First, the Republican Party will be forward-looking – it is time to stop looking backward. Republicans have spent ample time re-examining the past. It has been a healthy and necessary task. But I believe it is now time for Republicans to focus all of our energies on winning the future by emerging as the party of new ideas. Republicans are emerging once again with the energy, the focus, and the determination to turn our timeless principles into new solutions for the future.

Hmm... sounds like somebody wants a clean slate. Have they considered going to confession? One wonders if Michael wants this tabula rasa for his party or for himself.

But how to accomplish this? How to look forward? So simple:

The Republican Party has turned a corner, and as we move forward Republicans should take a lesson from Ronald Reagan. Again, we’re not looking back – if President Reagan were here today he would have no patience for Americans who looked backward.

Neat! So all the GOP has to do is look to Reagan, but not by looking back.

May I suggest small, discrete hand-mirrors?

Quickie: No More F***ing Tears

Does your hair feel deflated, lusterless? Does it wish to maximize the opportunities afforded by an empty Senate seat waiting to be filled?

Well, duh, Blago Shampoo is totally obvs for you.

Must Read: Donald Rumsfeld's Flying Circus

(Reuters/Yuri Gripas, June 1, 2005)

Happy Monday! You absolutely have to start the week by catching up on the new scandal, the one where Donald Rumsfeld issued Biblical commandments or something. It's in GQ, the magazine formerly mostly known for hair mousse coverage and soft-porn Armani advertisements. Make sure to check out the slide show. Your jaw will drop and hit the floor. You will want to start kissing your "I Voted" sticker all over again.

Fun with Keywords

Condi Had a Nice Time in Canada

Former U.S. secretary of state Condoleezza Rice accepts a Calgary Flames jersey from Calgary Mayor Dave Bronconnier before speaking at a fundraiser hosted by the University of Calgary school of public policy on Wednesday. (Jeff McIntosh/Canadian Press)

Well of course she had a nice time in Alberta, because Condi has a nice time wherever she goes, and she meets nice people who treat her courteously and she has nice chats with them and then they give her a jersey with her name on it and $50,000 and everybody is happy. Good work if you can get it! How nice.

I like the shirt; she can hang it in her special novelty jersey closet next to this one:

(Reuters, 03-31-06)

And this one:

(AP, 04-21-08)

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Lemon Fresh

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Steele Flip-Flops on Puppies

THIS is an outrage:

“This is the typical Washington politics that the American people voted to change last fall — tell folks during a campaign you “love puppies,” and then, when you’re in power — albeit at the RNC — you go negative on Bo,” Sevugan railed. “I’d say this type of Washington hypocrisy is ‘priceless,’ but really, the Master Card thing has been done to death.”

Michael Steele and Michele Bachmann: Together at Last

These two crazy kids were bound to get together. Michael needed some raw meat to throw to the right-wingers, so what better than the DEMON ACORN? Michael pleads:

“Michele Bachmann’s amendment to block indicted organizations from collecting more public funding passed unanimously through the U.S. House Financial Services Committee," Steele wrote in an e-mail fundraising appeal.

“But now, Committee Chairman Barney Frank, far-left Democrat from Massachusetts, has decided he made a mistake by supporting the amendment and will now offer his own amendment to restore ACORN’s opportunity of receiving billions of taxpayer dollars,” Steele added. “Since ACORN’s efforts are all about electing leftist Democrats like himself, why would Frank want them to go unrewarded?”

Yes! Go with Bachmann! This will certainly be a winning strategy in Steele's quest for people to take him seriously.

Also, ACORN is totally the new George Soros.

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging Demonstates the Importance of Using the Right Paint for the Job

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"See This? It's a Wedding Ring. Because I'm Married. To a Woman."

Florida's Governor Charlie Crist attends a news conference to officially announce that he will be running for the Senate, at the Florida Capitol in Tallahassee, May 12, 2009. REUTERS/Mark Wallheiser

Well done, Mr. Wallheiser!

Quickie: And the Award for Imaginative and Unexpected Charles Manson References Goes To...

...Jesse Ventura:

KING: You were a Navy SEAL.

VENTURA: That’s right. I was water boarded, so I know — at SERE School, Survival Escape Resistance Evasion. It was a required school you had to go to prior to going into the combat zone, which in my era was Vietnam. All of us had to go there. We were all, in essence — every one of us was water boarded. It is torture.

KING: What was it like?

VENTURA: It’s drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you — I’ll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.

Political Piggy indeed.

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Do Not Adjust Your Set

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Quickie: Post-Modern Christianity

A recent One News Now poll result:

Condi Has Another Torture Convulsion

Team Condi didn't like the way the NY Times reported on her testy little confrontation with that uppity Stanford co-ed:

As this statement from Ms. Rice made clear, the tactic used was legal not because the president authorized it; rather, the president sought and received legal opinion indicating that it was legal before he authorized it.

OK, so it's not that anything the president wants to do is legal, it's that anything the president has declared legal is legal. Got it.

Crist Makes Frowny Sucked-In Lips Face, is Therefore Doomed

Gov. Charlie Crist, center, answers questions from the media regarding the budget, Monday, April 27, 2009, in Tallahassee, Fla.(AP Photo/Phil Coale)

Wow, see what happens when you decide to go through the Crist archives? All sorts of fun stuff!

I'm not sure why he's making the dreaded Frowny Sucked-In Lips Face™. Maybe he just saw a screening of Outrage? Maybe he's trying to fight the urge to grope the hot, mustachioed reporter?

All I know is that Frowny Sucked-In Lips Face is politically fatal in 100% of recorded cases. Will Charlie buck the trend?

Wow, that race in Florida is going to be the best.

Who Am I?

Gov. Charlie Crist looks closely at his portrait that hangs in City Hall, Tuesday, March 31, 2009, in Tallahassee, Fla. Crist was at the hall to attend the kids only town hall meeting.(AP Photo/Phil Coale)

The above picture is a couple of weeks old, but I only just saw it today and was struck by its complex layers of meaning. It is a wonderful photograph.

Speaking of Gay Charlie Crist™, the movie Outrage opened last Friday, and it doesn't seem to be setting the world on fire. Perhaps the whole "Republican jerk turns out to be a hairdresser" plot has become too predictable for contemporary audiences?

Needs more lesbians.

Richard Cohen Thinks That Maybe This "Dick Cheney" Character is On to Something

Hmmm... do I rise to the bait again? After all, Richard's on to all of us blogger types:

Blogger Alert: I have written a column in defense of Dick Cheney.

He certainly has! So at the risk of falling into Cohen's trap...

Fuck it. This is, significantly, Cohen's third column (here's the first, the second) in defense and even praise of torture. Once again, without any evidence whatsoever, he claims that torture "works," but this time with the added contention that it has prevented "the deaths of thousands." Really? How does he know that? Because Dick Cheney said so! On the TV!

So why is Cohen so hot for torture? When was the twig bent? Cohen provides the answer:

Back in my college days, there was much late-night discussion about the "free man" -- not politically free, mind you, but free of bourgeois cultural restraints. (The once-important writer Jean Genet, a former petty criminal and prostitute, was often cited.)

Ah, Genet. That explains a lot. Genet once said that, "Insofar as [the Left] perpetuates Judeo-Christian kinds of reasoning and morality, I find myself incapable of identifying with it."

OK, Cohen is right; that does sound a lot like Cheney. But Cheney was always the jailer, never the prisoner. With whom would St. Jean side?

Next week: Richard Cohen defends germ warfare by quoting passages from Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

It's Michael Steele's Dumb World; We're Just Living in It

There he is! Again! And again! You just can't avoid Michael Steele because he just keeps popping up everywhere, saying stupid things, going stupid places, meeting stupid people. This is why Michael Steele has gotten as far as he has: he is fluent in dumb.

First up, of course, is that tiresome variety show they put on every year for the president and his insidery press herd. And Michael, after being not-so-subtly insulted by Obama, who mocked his uncool-dad-trying-to-sound-cool way of using slang, was totally all, like, "He said my name! Did you hear him say my name?" Ha, not really literally that, but practically. "I appreciate the President giving me a shout-out." Michael? He totally said mean things to your face.

Other people are saying mean things about Michael, too! He accused all the right-wingers of being Mormon-haters, which of course they are, and now everybody, both on the left and on the right is basically flipping out that he was dumb enough to say these things out loud. And it's true that he's dumb to say those dumb true things out loud! Whatever.

UPDATE! The groveling for forgiveness:

"Chairman Steele regrets the way his comments have been interpreted. Chairman Steele believes Mitt Romney is a respected and influential voice in the Republican Party and looks to his leadership and ideas to help move our party and our nation in the right direction."

Haw. Pussy. I don't think your comments were really about Mitt Romney.

Finally, Steele on Coleman Conceding: "Hell no!" Steele on the possibility of an empathetic judge: "Craziness!"

Is there any end to this man's entertainment value? Unfortunately, yes, probably soon.

Today's Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging Triple Feature is Brought to You By Vicodin®

Click each for bigger.

Today's theme: bottom third divided horizontally.

Quickie: Genius, Insanity, or Both?

This is way, WAY too hilarious to pass up. Read more about it here.

Quickie; Fox Nation is the Fringiest Fringe in Fringeville

I was just marveling, again, at the wonderful new parody site, foxnation.com, a creation so hilariously and ludicrously right-wing that it makes Free Republic seem reasonable and moderate. It's just so crazy! And every single discussion thread is so... leotarded... that one wonders just how popular it could possibly be. Fox seemed to have high hopes for the site, promoting it initially as an "on-line tea party." The site is so shrill, so relentlessly nasty, is it possible for it to appeal to anybody but the most ravenous extremists?

So I looked at their Alexa statistics (see above) and breathed a sigh of relief. The Freepers, bless 'em, have nothing to fear. I believe the popular internet verdict Massive Fail™ applies here.

UPDATE: Pony Pal Matty wants to see Fox Nation compared to more appropriate sites, but is apparently too busy to do so himself, so here:

It looks to me like terrible performance from Fox Nation. The Huffington Thing, of course, blows absolutely everybody else out of the water. It's wild to note that Free Republic is apparently more popular than Daily Kos. Scary!

I Banged Me Little Gavel! And Waggled My Wig!

Big Tent™ or tiny $5 umbrella you bought outside the Metro station and left in a cab later that same day?

I actually appreciate the bluntness of the following:

But conservative leaders have warned the nomination of a gay or lesbian justice could complicate Obama’s effort to confirm a replacement for Souter, and another Republican senator on Wednesday warned a gay nominee would be too polarizing.

“I know the administration is being pushed, but I think it would be a bridge too far right now,” said GOP Chief Deputy Whip John Thune. “It seems to me this first pick is going to be a kind of important one, and my hope is that he'll play it a little more down the middle. A lot of people would react very negatively.”

Please Stand By...

So yeah, anyway... over the last couple of weeks I've been getting hit by a truck... a truck called dentistry! And it keeps backing up and running me over again and again! And now I'm 25% less wise! Fun!

Condi Lies to Children About Torture

In this photograph provided by Rabinowitz-Dorf, Leon Wieseltier, left, talks with former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the the Jewish Primary Day School of the Nation's Capital in Washington Sunday, May 3, 2009. (AP Photo/Rabinowitz-Dorf, Ron Sachs)

Oh look, it's Matching Armchairs LIVE! Yay! I believe this is the first MAPO since Condi left Foggy Bottom, so it's historic, I guess.

But it seems that all anybody wants to ask Condi about these days is torture, which is icky and totally rude because it makes her uncomfortable. This time it was a fourth grader who wanted to ask the question newspapers refuse to ask, and as you can see, it made Condi's meet-children-cute thing a little tense:

(AP)

So the kid was all, like, "OMG, which Jonas Brother is your favorite and why did we, like, torture 'n' stuff?" Condi then scrunched up her forehead and gave her standard response, which is, "OMG, we were so scared after 911 that we made sure to declare everything legal so that the President wouldn't break any laws." See? Such a simple answer! Why do people keep asking about it? Sheesh! Look, it's a simple logic problem:

• We didn't torture.
• We DID use the technique called waterboarding.
• Therefore waterboarding isn't torture.

Even a child should be able to unravel understand that logic.