Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Torture? No Big Whoop. Move Along.



My first idea was to title this post "Will Somebody Please Kick Richard Cohen in the Balls?" But then I thought, no, that would be wrong. And that thought put me, basically, on moral ground high, high above Mr. Cohen.

Not only does he say we shouldn't investigate the Bush administration for its role in approving torture, Cohen defends torture itself (All those studies which demonstrate it isn't effective? "Counterintuitive."), saying it's perfectly acceptable as long as the torturers' hearts are in the right place:

At the same time, we have to be respectful of those who were in that Sept. 11 frame of mind, who thought they were saving lives -- and maybe were -- and who, in any case, were doing what the nation and its leaders wanted. It is imperative that our intelligence agents not have to fear that a sincere effort will result in their being hauled before some congressional committee or a grand jury. We want the finest people in these jobs -- not time-stampers who take no chances.


Pesky grand juries! Plus, he totally heard torture worked once, and Jonathan Alter and Alan Dershowitz said it was OK (not really, but it's the best he could find), so as long as those people were just following orders (The Nuremberg defense!) and thought good thoughts while they were simulating the effects of drowning or breaking the limbs of their victims, I mean... hey, 9-11! Also, Bush's approval ratings were super high, so obviously we're all to blame in a kooky way, right? Sheesh! As Cohen says, "Congress overwhelmingly voted for war and the American people overwhelmingly supported it," so, therefore, anything goes. Never mind that we were, you know, overwhelmingly misinformed and lied to.

God, I didn't think it was possible to want to punch Richard Cohen in the face even more.

13 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

Miss Pony, I have a pair of pointy toed Lucchese cowboy boots I think would work perfectly as a projectile aimed at Cohen's little parakeet balls.
May I please?

Anonymous said...

According to Richard Cohen's "logic" we must naturally infer that the Nuremberg trials were wrong, as the German public was "lied to" as well!!

Kalkaino said...

As I read Mr. Cohen's latest pussy fart this morning I looked forward to seeing his shiner on this site. Can't wait until we have Will, Kristol, Krauthammer and Cohen all on the same page of the Washigntobn Post. Good times, yes indeedy.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Mr. Cohen's latest pussy fart

Um... ew!

zoe said...

You need to take the high road, PSP, because you belong there. I, however, do not.I live on the low road. And I will gladly aid KZD in whatever actions she deems appropriate. Myself? Waterboarding sounds about right, because it is not torture.....

Madduane said...

OK, maybe I've finally been paying attention to politics long enough that I am losing patience with idiocy like this. I always try to see the other side, but I am getting so sick of people who will do whatever mental gymnastics necessary to apologize for that damn chimp and his ruinous policies.

For God's sake, why? What is he to you? How can you even try to justify (even praise) this country trying to slip into the Dark Ages, as if that was the way things are supposed to be?

Fran said...

Post 9-11 is starting to sound like the "Twinkie Defense"- we were under the influence of fierce patriotism while blinded by mass lies and covert actions. No one was allowed to question anything, or they were in the "against us" category.

Torture is torture & it's never too late to prosecute.
"Liberty and JUSTICE FOR ALL"

We insist!

Anonymous said...

Richard C & Condi should go on a blind date, she wearing her "dominatrix" boots & leather/leathery looking attire (with her PSP-special "Kiss" make-up) and he with the facial "please-hit/hurt-me" decoration PSP has given him in above pix. They would have a wonderful evening exchanging kinky tales about torture, as well as special S/M moments TBD of their choosing -- with the culmination of their intimate rendez-vous each giving the other the ultimate waterboarding experience.

rptrcub said...

Barack needs to reconsider his closing-Gitmo policy, in order to send douches like Cohen there to have a nice afternoon of testicle frying.

Anonymous said...

How 'blacking the OTHER eye too Princess?

dguzman said...

Wow.

Matty Boy said...

I don't read any paper that carries Mr. Cohen, so I only hear about his gems here. I'm not sure art is the best revenge, but you can't be put in jail or sued for giving him a black eye in Photoshop, and he does so richly deserve one.

This is the best of an admittedly limited and flawed set of options.

Anonymous said...

The picture is a bit off focus-the backward 'B' scratched on his cheek does not show.....