The Glamorous Life

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, right, holds a joint press conference in Amman, Jordan,Monday, March. 31. 2008. Rice says Mideast peace talks are "moving in the right direction" but is urging Israel to stop new settlement activities. (AP Photo/Nader Daoud)

Ooh, la la, that's a fabulous hand gesture! Condi's latest trip to the Mideast may be her most pointless yet, but this bucolic dueling podiums photo-op is divine. OMG, and after taking the week off, Condi Roundup is back at Wonkette to catch you up. Phew, I know. Next, Condi should be meeting with Jordan's adorable Daddy Bear Abdullah, so let's all agree to look forward to that.

Lindsey Lohan and Charles Manson: Together at Last

Actual screenshot from E! Online!:

OMG, a new movie called Manson Girls! That title is so totally cute! I've long lamented that the Manson Family hasn't gotten the musical comedy treatment*, but maybe this'll be it! Yay! Please hire John Waters to direct.

*The wonderfully bad TV remake of Helter Skelter came close: in one probably wisely deleted scene included as a bonus on the DVD, Susan Atkins breaks into torrid go-go dancing when she's booked into the women's prison. Hott!

Backtracking

U.S. President George W. Bush (L) walks with U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (C) and National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley at the White House in Washington, March 28, 2008. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)

OK, so I kinda figured that Condi would take it easy on Friday, since I knew she was going to the Mideast today and everything. But, wow, I just double-checked and OMG, she was totally busy yesterday! I'm assuming she was at the White House to get her old talking points refreshed and new ones implanted. I love the above picture because Stephen Hadley is so perfectly in step with the boss.

Later, Condi had not one, but two of those funny "have you met my friend? He was just leaving" photo-ops, where the guest star doesn't merit the whole matching armchairs experience. These are the saddest bunnies in Condiland. First, Kevin Rudd, scourge of Australia:

(AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

The above is wonderful because you can clearly see the masking tape "marks" for this photo-op:

And last and probably least to America's Princess Diplomat, Norwegian Foreign Minister Jonas Gahr. Yawn:

(AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

He's probably wondering why he came, and so are we! Condi allowed one question from the press, and it was wasted on her boring Washington Times thingy. Still, that was a busy Condiday for a Friday before travel. Why expend the effort? Have you figured it out yet? Yes! It's the Condibot! I'm guessing this was the labor-saving, Disneytronic, Animagic™ robot put into action while the real Madame Secretary had a spa day before flying to the Mideast.

Did you spot the Condibot?

My Dinner with Condré

In this photo released by the Government Press Office, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, right, is seen with U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, in Jerusalem, Saturday, March 29, 2008. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Saturday she wants to see 'real concrete progress on the ground' as she began her latest Mideast mission. (AP Photo/GPO, Moshe Milner, HO)

Ew, you know Condi's desperate when she has to work on the weekend! And just look at this carefully composed scene, not at all staged! I bet everything Condi knows about the Mideast is contained in that slim leather folder. I wonder what they'll watch on the big screen? Might I suggest Southland Tales? It's war-licious!

EDIT: Bad pun introduced to post title!

Another Reuters Photographer Attempts to See London, France

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (R) shakes hands with Haiti's Prime Minister Jacques-Edouard Alexis at the beginning of their meeting in the Secretary's Outer Office at the State Department in Washington March 27, 2008. REUTERS/Yuri Gripas (UNITED STATES)

It's our old friend, Condirazzi Iron Opographer Yuri Gripas! And once again he makes the matching armchairs photo-op look easy. But I can't help but notice that once again we're seeing a Reuters snapper shooting Condi from an exaggeratedly low angle. Is this a new Reuters policy? Are they bound and determined to get the panty shot before she leaves the State Department?

Well, what can I say? Hooray!

Great News! Accessory Packs Now Available for Your My Little Slutty Pony Whorses!

Awesome! Ever since I discovered Playmates Toys' incredible, hyper-sexual Struts line of fashion model ponies, I've been anxiously awaiting for new products and tie-ins to emerge. Now, thank goodness, a pleather halter top is available in the "Flirty Fun" accessory pack to gussy up my favorite new equine prostitute doll. And cork wedgies, too! Sadly, the Runway Show and Posh Lounge playsets appear to be as-yet unavailable. I'm also anxiously awaiting the inevitable Struts Pony Pole Dancer aerobics DVD for girls 4-8. Giddyup!

Meanwhile, response to my initial two posts about the appalling horse/celebutard hybrids continues to spread across the interwebs, from message boards for concerned, feminist moms to, yes, outraged My Little Pony fans. If you do a Google search for "Struts Runway Magic," the results are split between places where you can buy them and places where you can point to them as signs of the impending pink, frilly apocalypse (I particularly enjoyed the reactions here). These unholy ponies really have people talking! This probably isn't the response Playmates had in mind.

Uh Oh, Speaking of Grover Norquist...

More Amusing Condi/McCain Hand-Wringing

South Korean Foreign Minister Yu Myung-Hwan, left, and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice take part in a joint press availability, Wednesday, March 26, 2008, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)

Wheee! So Condi went to talk to anti-tax bear Grover Norquist's little club today, and, oh, my! The Washington Note just fell into absolute spasms of overthinking and speculation and hypothesizing (two stories!) about what it all means.

BREAKING, they holler, Condi Rice Flirts With VP Possibility -- Speaks to Grover Norquist's Wednesday Group Meeting. OMG! And then they proceed to report... nothing of the sort. And then the whole thing devolves into that same article we've read a million times about rumors of Condi running for office. And like all these stories, there are explicit denials from the Princess Diplomat herself.

Oh, Washington Note, you're cute when you get excited.

UPDATE: In the comments, Washington Note's Steve Clemons responds to pink glittery critic!

International "Religion is Stupid" Week Continues.

Rationalist International via The Stranger

This blog regularly features the various inanities of Christianity. This week, though, I also posted an uplifting story about Japanese Buddhists deploying adorable trained chihuahuas in a desperate attempt to publicize their quaint, centuries-old, dying faith. And today? It's Hinduisms turn! Yay!

So, like, some holy sheister in India was totally all, like, "I can kill you with my magic tantrik hand gestures." And the TV guy was all, "OK, prove it on live TV." And so the guy, absurdly, agreed to try! Many, many mystical chants and homicidal finger flailings later, the guy made up an unbelievably lame excuse and called the whole thing off. They pre-empted other programming for this ridiculous drama! Read the gripping account!

Following in Condi's Footsteps

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, left, shakes hands with Turkey's Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan prior to a meeting in Ankara, Turkey, Monday, March 24, 2008. Cheney was greeted by several small protests during a brief visit to Ankara on Monday where he held talks with Turkish leaders on regional security issues as a part of his Middle East tour. (AP Photo/Umit Bektas, Pool)

Superb, no? That is one of the most impressive matching armchairs photo-ops I've ever seen. It should be in the textbooks at the diplomat schools where all the future Condis go. In fact, who needs Condi at all when Dick Cheney is capable of following in her footprints and tidying up her little unfinished bits of business (you'll recall that when Condi was in Turkey in November, they threw darts at her). He accomplishes this with threats and a crooked little smile. Neat!

And if I may display a little of the thoroughness which behooves (Yay! Hooves!) a writer who claims to be such a smarty-pants expert on the hallowed matching armchairs, you may wonder if Condi herself has ever enjoyed this perfect setting? Why yes, she has, on April 25, 2006:

He's even wearing the same tie! His lucky meet-the-Americans tie!

Congrats to Condi 'n' George on Their Big 4,000!

President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice leave the microphones after the president made a statement, Monday, March 24, 2008, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

Meet Conan, the Praying Chihuahua

(AP)

Sometimes I get so wound up in the world of idiotic Christians that I forget that all religions have to ability to be dizzyingly weird and stupid, so today I bring you Japan's amazing praying dog. Maybe if his monk friend thinks about it long enough, he'll get the idea that just as mankind came down from living in the trees, perhaps this "praying" business can be left to the animals as well? Maybe he'll realize if dogs can do it, it isn't really all that impressive? Ha ha, I doubt it. Here's another pic of the praying pup:

Wheee! So metaphorically rich! Happy Monday! I'm afraid there's no Condi Roundup today at Wonkette, and for the lamest reason possible: there I was, merrily typing away, and then I somehow deleted practically the whole thing without saving it, and I totally lost the will to reconstruct it. It was a boring Condiweek, anyway, so let's hope that this one will be more fun!

The Title of This Post Really Should Incorporate a Stupid Pun Containing the Word "Thai"

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks with Thailand Foreign Minister Noppadon Pattama during a meeting at the State Department in Washington Thursday March 20, 2008. (AP photo/Jose Luis Magana)

Have you noticed that? Thai restaurants with stupid punning names? Ugh. The only businesses with more of a tendency to fall prey to annoying puns are hair salons.

Anyway! The Condibot with emasculicious, scissor-action legs sat for a spell with the Thai guy. During the photo-op, somebody asked Condi about Tibet, and she was all, like, blah blah blah establish a dialog blah blah blah. Wouldn't it have been funny if she had just blurted out, "I think the Commies should totally let the Lama guy have his little theocracy." For reals.

LOL Catholics

Followers of ancient Middle-Eastern resurrection cults are so funny! But please, enthusiastic Catholics, take note:

Health officials in the Philippines are asking -- no, "strongly advising" -- Catholics taking part in Easter self-flagellation rituals this week to first check the condition of their whips before lashing their backs.

Authorities worry that dirty whips could lead to tetanus and other infections, according to a report in the Manila Times newspaper Wednesday.

"We are not trying to go against the Lenten tradition here," Health Secretary Francisco Duque III told the newspaper. "But this advice is important to make sure that no one will land in the hospital due to tetanus or other infections that penitents might get in the process."

Christianity: not at all wacky!

So How Did Condi's Trip to Russia Go, Anyway?

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates (L) and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice listen to remarks during a joint press availability with their Russian counterparts after a day of meetings in Moscow March 18, 2008. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Uh, oh, Klingon Condi doesn't look like she's having fun! Somebody break out the board games! So obviously Condi's bosses didn't have much faith in her ability to accomplish anything; that's why they sent along Gates as backup. And the result of this trip? Failure, natch!

Also, LOL:

MOSCOW (AP) — Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice speaks Russian, and for awhile Tuesday she seemed to forget that not everyone is bilingual.

Rice gave a Russian translator fits when she gave a nearly five-minute outline of the day's meetings she and Defense Secretary Robert Gates had with Russian officials. On and on she went, in English, while the translator scribbled furiously, waiting for his turn to tell Russian reporters and a television audience what she'd said.

Usually, officials say a few sentences in their native language, wait for the translation and then continue.

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Rice exclaimed when she realized the translator's predicament. "I forgot!"

The man did his best, giving a Russian summary of Rice's remarks punctuated with helpless little waves of his hand to show he hadn't quite gotten down every word.

"Close enough," Rice said in English.

OMG, whatevs!

Meet the Dmitrybot!

Russian president-elect Dmitry Medvedev (R) meets with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (C) and US Defence Secretary Robert Gates (L) at the Kremlin in Moscow. Russia struck an upbeat note Monday on easing tensions with the United States as President Vladimir Putin discussed a key letter from US President George W. Bush with top US officials in the Kremlin. (AFP/RIA NOVOSTI/Dmitry Sstakhov)

Ooh, do you have that feeling? That feeling that there's a new superstar making her debutante voyage into a beautiful world? Look how adorable! His name is Dmitry and he wants to shake your hand! He is just tiny and adorable and you just want to put a bonnet on his head and put him on the mantelpiece next to the Lladro.

But there's something else. Have you caught on yet? Note the sly look of amused recognition in Condi's eyes:

That's right! Condi knows an Animagic robot when she sees one! And, honestly, the Dmitrybot is charming, but not terribly lifelike. A for effort for Mr. Putin, and I'm sure the Dmitrybot will be a dependable, if somewhat cloying, servant. This Disneytronic "president" isn't as sophisticated as the celebrated Condibot, and I'm wondering if maybe, indeed, the Dmitrybot might be constructed using outdated Condibot technology from the early stages of its development.

But, hee hee hee! Yay! Look at Condi with the tinies:

Ha ha, Condi looks like Satan in that picture!

Quickie: Christvertising is Hilarious, Real or Not

Have you visited Christvertising yet? It's the innovative new scam service wherein the success of your product is ensured not by advertising, word-of-mouth, viral campaigns or other paleolithic methods, but by the power of prayer! Yay!

Is it real? Well, no, of course it isn't. But is it a parody? I'm not sure! But it sure is funny!

Happy Monday!

EDIT: The more I look at it, the more wonderfully fake I think it is. Note that there's no real contact info other than a generic "info@" address. Also, no real advertising guy --even a Christian one-- would wear shoes that bad. I wonder what kind of priceless responses they've been getting?

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

From left to right, Larry Harris, Debra Tate, sister of murder victim Sharon Tate and Jean Harris watch scientists and investigators work behind the abandoned Barker Ranch house, Friday, Feb. 22, 2008 in the Panamint Mountains west of Death Valley National Park, Calif. Charles Manson and his followers retreated to the Barker Ranch after a killing spree during the summer of 1969. The high desert wasteland outside of town hides the ranch where a paranoid Charles Manson and his followers holed up after their orgy of murder nearly four decades ago. Now, as then, few venture into this alkaline wilderness _ gold-diggers, outlaws, loners content to live and let live. But a determined group of outsiders recently made the trek. They were in search of more evidence of death. (AP Photo/Gary Kazanjian)

Media superstar and beloved symbol of the 1960s Charles Manson is in the news again, so that's always superfun. Will they find more bodies at Barker Ranch? Stay tuned as the ever-popular Manson Show™ makes an unexpected return to the programming schedule!

EDIT - Kudos to AP for the caption clarification:

**ADDS TO EXPLAIN MAGAZINE WAS BROUGHT TO HOUSE AND PLACED ON TABLE BY INVESTIGATORS SEARCHING THE AREA FOR CLANDESTINE GRAVESITES**

Tiny Defense Secretary Arrives in Russia

U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates arrives in Moscow March 17, 2008. Gates and U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will meet their Russian counterparts to discuss missile defense, non-proliferation and counterterrorism.REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque (RUSSIA)

Wheee! I love photos which emphasize Gates' adorable tininess. But where's Condi? Fixing her hair? Also, it's nice to see that Reuters' upskirt expert Kevin Lamarque is along for the ride, because that'll mean good pictures and maybe Condi's panties! Yay!

Let Us Now Praise Fabulous Hairdos

Dagmar Metzger, member of Parliament of Social Democrats of German federal state Hesse is seen after a meeting with leader Andrea Ypsilanti in Wiesbaden, central Germany,Tuesday, March 11, 2008. (AP Photo//Bernd Kammerer)

There's a sensational, until now unrecognized, fabulous bouffant shaking up politics in Germany. This is the kind of hairdo I like to see on politicians. Do you want to see a closer view? Oooh, so do I:

This is clearly a hairdo deserving of more than a passing glance. What marvelous heights it reaches! It's reaching for the stars! We need more structural information, so let's consult a rear (Not the butt, LOLZ! The back of the hairdo!) view:

Some meanypants may sling around hurtful words like antiquated or Texan to describe this sassy hair bubble, but I prefer classic, thank you very much. You recognize it, don't you? It's the Tippi:

Oh, right! And the lady who hosts the hairdo? She's a German politician rebel or something. Interesting! Kinda! Not really! :(

Raise Your Hands if You Luv Condi!

Protesters hold up their mock bloody hands as U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice testifies about the International Affairs Budget in front of the House State, Foreign Operations and Related Programs Subcommittee on Capitol Hill in Washington March 12, 2008. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Reuters Will Never Give Up Its Quest...

... for Condi upskirt action:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice testifies about the International Affairs Budget in front of the House State, Foreign Operations and Related Programs Subcommittee on Capitol Hill in Washington March 12, 2008. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque (UNITED STATES)

Never surrender, Reuters! You'll get the panties shot one of these days. I have faith in you! Perhaps this is some kind of competition between Condirazzis Lamarque and Larry Downing?

I Don't Want to Have That Picture of Eliot Spitzer at the Top of the Blog All Day, So Here's a Picture of a Puppy

Ruby, a 9-week-old beagle puppy, plays with a snowball as the snow falls in Cincinnati Friday March 7, 2008. A large winter storm dumped several inches of snow on southern Ohio Friday. (AP Photo/Tom Uhlman)

Mama Told You if You Made That Face it Would Stick That Way Forever

** ALTERNATE CROP ** New York State Gov. Eliot Spitzer makes a statement to reporters during a news conference Monday, March 10, 2008 in New York where he apologized to his family and the public after a report that he was involved in a prostitution ring. (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)

That face! Maybe one day Mr. Spitzer will get over the whores, the wire taps, the whatever. But he'll never get over making that face, so lovingly captured and helpfully cropped by the Associated Press. There are no other photos of him from now on. Eliot Spitzer's imploding face for the world to see!

Annotated Photo-Op

I ran this image last Tuesday:

Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, right, meets with US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at the Presidential palace in Cairo, Egypt, Tuesday, March 4, 2008. talks focused on Israeli-Palestinian peace talks.(AP Photo/Amr Nabil)

And this morning, the Washington Post includes an editorial all about Condi's little Egyptian stopover:

[...] three years after Mr. Bush promised the world's democratic reformers that the United States would stand with them, the administration has so reversed itself that it joins Mr. Mubarak in rejecting restrictions attached by Congress to aid money.

Ms. Rice said the administration used a waiver built into the legislation so the Egyptian military will get the full $1.3 billion allocated by the administration this year. "We believe that this relationship with Egypt is an important one and that the waiver was the right thing to do," she said. Lamely, she said she had talked about the need for reform with the foreign minister during their private meeting.

"So, she has exercised the right of waiver," declared Mr. Aboul Gheit triumphantly. His was the vindication of a diplomat who has just watched the U.S. secretary of state publicly repudiate the policy she once championed, in order to appease an autocrat. "I think I said that, yes," responded Ms. Rice. Let's hope she felt at least a little shame.

Condi feel shame? What, is the Post intentionally trying to be funny?

Triple Header

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, talks with National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, right, as Deputy National Security Adviser for Regional Affairs Judith Ansley, center, looks on during President Bush's meeting with Poland's Prime Minister Donald Tusk, Monday, March 10, 2008, in the Oval Office of the White House in Washington. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Wow, it was a busy Monday in Condiland, a big triple photo-op extravaganza! It started off with one of the Standing Around in the White House and Not Knowing What to Do with Our Hands routine. And look! Condi is obviously conferring with her spherical, invisible friend! We haven't seen it in a while! Yay! But ew, Stephen Hadley, ew, ew, ew!

But it gets better, because now it's guest stars! Hooray! And it's none other than frolicsome Tzipi, Condi's erstwhile sapphic lover:

(AP)

Folks, I find this body language to be highly ambiguous. Are they blocking each other? Reaching out towards each other? Are they hurting inside but too proud to beg? Oh Condi 'n' Tzipi, you can work it out!

But if it doesn't work out, well... well, that brings us to our third fabulous photo-op of the day. Condi imported a whole harem and that'll show that Tzipi!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, center, and Andrea Bottner, senior coordinator, Office of International Women's Issues, left, pose with recipients of the 2nd Annual International Women of Courage Awards at the State Department, Monday, March 10, 2008, in Washington. From left are, Bottner; Virisila Buadromo of Fiji; Valdete Idrizi of Kosovo; Farhiyo Farah Ibrahim of Somalia; Rice; Nibal Thawabteh of Palestine; and Dr. Eaman Al-Gobory of Iraq. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

Hey, I won't knock it. And it's such a cute idea to have Condi there for contrast amongst these remarkable women with their peaceful achievements. It's kinda like that great Sesame Street song One of these things is not like the other in real life! Kinda!

The New Yorker: Condi 4 Veep!

Haw haw! Who is this guy? I think he's a little behind-the-times with the Condi scene:

Choosing Rice would be a trick. Her failures would be buried in an avalanche of positive publicity for a personal story as yet only vaguely known to the broad public. (One of the little girls who died in the 1963 Birmingham church bombing was her playmate? We didn’t know that!)

How can anybody who claims to take Condi seriously not know that? She only mentions it every chance she gets! Mr. Herzburg, please!

Coverup

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, left, shakes the hand of former Georgetown and NBA star Patrick Ewing, right, before the Georgetown Louisville college basketball game, Saturday, March 8, 2008, in Washington. Georgetown won 55-52. (AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Condi had a sports day yesterday! That's a good thing, because the past seven days have been just awful for the poor, under-appreciated diplamazon, as you'll see in this week's Condi Roundup when it's up (EDIT: It's up!). What the heck is she wearing, though? A tartan blazer? Oh, no, Condi, no.

Sensing the horrible fashion error she was committing, a helpful furry in the crowd came forward and offered Condi a coverup:

(Reuters)

That's better! And speaking of coverups! Tomorrow, the long-awaited The Commission comes out! If you haven't read last Friday's excerpt yet, do so now!

And finally this morning, I wish I could show you a picture of Helen Thomas impersonating Condi at Saturday's Gridiron thingy, but, alas, apparently the spectacle was too frightening for photographers to document. I do, however, have a photo of Condi's interesting outfit:

As Requested: The Back of Yulia Tymoshenko's Head

EU Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso kisses Ukraine's Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko goodbye after a meeting at the EU Commission headquarters in Brussels, Monday Jan. 28, 2008. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)

A commenter in my last post to feature the Ukrain's fabulous girl prime minister pleads:

Have you ever seen a picture of the BACK of Yulia Tymoshenko's braid-halo-do? I'm dying to know what's going on back there. More braid? Blank space? Please share.

Your wish is my command!

The Youth of Lebanon Salute Condi!

A girl flashes the victory sign as she sits on the shoulders of a man in front of a picture showing U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice with a writing in Arabic that reads:" Minister of international terrorism," during a Lebanese and Palestinian protest denouncing the Israeli attacks on the Gaza strip, in the southern port city of Sidon, Lebanon Friday, March 7, 2008.(AP Photo/Mohammed Zaatari)

More Pictures of the Wonderful New My Little Slutty Pony Toys

Ooh, I am so pleased that Toys R Us has added to their inventory the exciting new STRUTS (sorry, not STRUTZ, no "Z") RUNWAY MAGIC ponies, the wonderful new toys for girls which delightfully combine bestiality with high fashion. Meet Sierra:

She's the hot-to-trot daughter of a rich Daddy Pony™ who owns a chain of hotels. She enjoys shopping, car crashes, accidental vag-flashes and shopping!

Here's Rio:

Rio wishes she could shop all the time, and gets feisty if you interrupt her shopping and try to make her eat. She enjoys shopping, dieting and accessories.

Next is mysterious, smoky Milan:

Sexy Milan once experienced total enlightenment in the shoe department of Neiman Marcus. She enjoys shopping and bombing abortion clinics.

And, finally, Sydney, the I-kid-you-not Australian equine hooker:

Most people dislike Sydney for her horrible, loud, phony Australian accent (I'm assuming). She enjoys shopping and turning tricks at the Convention Center.

What fantastic, hyper-sexualized fun! Yay! OMG, you all have to run out and buy these for your daughters (recommended for ages 4-8!) right away!

My initial reaction to these enchanting whorses is here.

UPDATE, 07-09: People! I'm glad you're all appalled at the shocking whorses, but please note how old this post is. These toys are no longer available. They failed. The sexy horse crisis has passed.

Imagine a Room Full of Anti-Condies!

European Union Commissioner for External Relations Benita Ferrero-Waldner,center, poses for photographers along with Ukraine's Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko, right, and Finland's President Tarja Halonen, left, during the "Women Stabilizing an Insecure World" conference held at the EU Commission headquarters in Brussels, Thursday March 6, 2008. Behind Ferrero-Waldner is Italy's Minister of International Trade and European Affairs Emma Bonino, behind Ferrero-Waldner and Tymoshenko is European Parliament Vice-President Luisa Morgantini. ( AP Photo/Thierry Charlier.)

Oh, dear, why isn't America's Favorite Princess Diplomat™ in this shot? Fun fact: none of the women shown above have ever helped start a unnecessary war! Neat!

Hairdo Equilibrium Stabilized

Things have totally leveled off on top of Condi's head. It's time to lower the Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System level back down to guarded. You may wish to update your calendars.

Tanks for Everything, Condi!

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice briefs the media during a NATO foreign ministers meeting at the alliance's headquarters in Brussels March 6, 2008. (Francois Lenoir/Reuters)

I love the above picture from yesterday's NATO thingy, because it looks like Condi's in the middle of a real war. Fun! And in a way, she is! But fear not, Pony Pals, because it's just a backdrop. This one kinda gives away the whole conceit:

But speaking of war zones, another excerpt from Philip Shenon's anti-Condi "The Commission" was published by the Sydney Morning Herald today, and if the title, "They knew, but did nothing" doesn't give the whole game away, I don't know what could. Alas, this is not good PR for Dr. Ferragamo:

The team's investigators began to match up the information in the senior briefings and they pulled together a timeline of the headlines just from the senior briefings in the northern spring and summer:

"Bin Ladin Planning Multiple Operations" (April 20)and "Bin Ladin Threats Are Real" (June 30)It was especially troubling for Hurley's team to realise how many of the warnings were directed to the desk of one person: Condoleezza Rice, the National Security Adviser. Emails from the National Security Council's counter-terrorism director, Richard Clarke, showed that he had bombarded Rice with messages about terrorist threats. He was trying to get her to focus on the intelligence she should have been reading each morning in the presidential and senior briefings

"Bin Ladin Public Profile May Presage Attack" (May 3)

"Terrorist Groups Said Co-operating on US Hostage Plot" (May 23)

"Bin Ladin's Networks' Plans Advancing" (May 26)

"Bin Ladin Attacks May Be Imminent"

(June 23)

"Bin Ladin and Associates Making Near-Term Threats" (June 25)

"Bin Ladin Planning High-Profile

Attacks" (June 30),

"Planning for Bin Ladin Attacks Continues, Despite Delays" (July 2)

Gosh, how totally vague! No wonder Condi ignored all those boring reports. I mean, get to the point already!