Thursday, March 27, 2008

Great News! Accessory Packs Now Available for Your My Little Slutty Pony Whorses!

Awesome! Ever since I discovered Playmates Toys' incredible, hyper-sexual Struts line of fashion model ponies, I've been anxiously awaiting for new products and tie-ins to emerge. Now, thank goodness, a pleather halter top is available in the "Flirty Fun" accessory pack to gussy up my favorite new equine prostitute doll. And cork wedgies, too! Sadly, the Runway Show and Posh Lounge playsets appear to be as-yet unavailable. I'm also anxiously awaiting the inevitable Struts Pony Pole Dancer aerobics DVD for girls 4-8. Giddyup!

Meanwhile, response to my initial two posts about the appalling horse/celebutard hybrids continues to spread across the interwebs, from message boards for concerned, feminist moms to, yes, outraged My Little Pony fans. If you do a Google search for "Struts Runway Magic," the results are split between places where you can buy them and places where you can point to them as signs of the impending pink, frilly apocalypse (I particularly enjoyed the reactions here). These unholy ponies really have people talking! This probably isn't the response Playmates had in mind.


No Marsupial Equivalent said...

Sometimes, princess, you just kill me. Another wonderful turn of phrase that sets my imagination soaring: pink, frilly apocalypse! I'm going to be searching for signs of it everywhere!


karenzipdrive said...

I recall my little girl friends from childhood who couldn't get over the fact that I had a horse.
I didn't even ask for one- my dad just assumed I'd want one.
Well, Sugarfoot was a son of a bitch who'd rare up and throw me off, step on my foot and bite my fingers when I'd offer him an apple.
The idea of dressing him up in glitzy clothing is absurd. He wouldn't even let me saddle him without puffing up his stomach so the saddle would be loose and fall to one side when I was riding.
I hate horses.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Ha ha! Awwww, I had a much better relationship with horses as a child.

dguzman said...

Zippy--it's because you called the horse "Sugarfoot." He probably wanted to be called something more butch like, well, "Butch." Or at least "Silver."

Princess--the apocalypse, all frilly and pink, is definitely upon us.

samael7 said...

My first thought at this blog entry's title:
"Oh. *uncomfortable pause* Good."

I don't think I care, really, that they're so hyper-sexualized. I am, however, personally offended at how Hiltonishly cheap they're done up.

(And not in a folksy Dolly Parton "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap" sort of way. This is, like, Wal*Mart-cheap. Actually, it gives Wal*Mart-cheap a bad name. I've known drag queens with more of a sense of restraint.)

divageek said...

Thanks for the updates, Sparkles!

Now the Amazon marketing analysts are totally confused after I clicked on the Amazon links above. (R.E.M? Check. Postwar German History? Check. Whorses? Che--huh?) However, it did occur to me that these products, including Sierra (which is actually available) are experiencing a dearth of customer-added tags. "Pink," "frilly," and "apocalyptic" would be excellent choices, imho.

Here's Sierra. . .

BTW, been trying to get a greenlight for this on FARK for a while, and haven't succeeded. :/



samael7 said...

I admit I added a new tag for them on my blog as well: "The Horror."

Mista Kuhtz, he dead.

karenzipdrive said...

However, I do love donkeys, and unlike most horses, they are willing to wear an occasional hat.