Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Michael Steele: For Ever and Ever, Amen

I found this image by doing a Google image search for "Puppy bling."

It's tempting, of course, to say that this is it for Michael Steele, but we all know better. The RNC can't really fire him without extensive bureaucratic procedures, and he's obviously not going to resign on his own. Simply nothing sticks on those exquisite suits! So cheers to many, many Steele gaffes to come! This latest round is hardly the first time he's been criticized for lavish spending: you'll recall that one of his first official acts was to redecorate his office, after all. So let's see the latest reactions:

  • Kathleen Parker, the go-to Republican to bash other Republicans, has dependably made good on Steele in her column today in the Washington Post. Best line: "Steele's future, meanwhile, is probably and strangely secure."
  • Tom Toles presents us with Dominatrix Steele.
  • Even Karl Rove gets into the act, without, of course, calling for Steele's resignation. The RNC just needs somebody fatter to sit on him, I guess.
  • Fox News even reports on the kerfuffle. They do the classic thing where they say that the lesbian bondage nightclub issue was "solved" with the firing of the staffer and then move on as if all the other expense-related issues don't exist.
  • Tea Partier makes the following argument: "How can the GOP be racist, when our Chairman Michael Steele is black?" This, Pony Pals™, is why he's still around.
  • There are many amusing comments at Politico's odious "Arena," but my favorite comes from Reagan biographer Craig Shirley: "I knew the RNC was going hell bent for leather to win elections but this is ridiculous."
  • The Daily Tucker Carlson, who started this most recent round of Steele-bashing, keeps the ball rolling with a piece about how everybody hates Mikey, but it doesn't matter, ha ha ha, because they're just giving their money to other GOP groups. Oh well.

In the past I'd say something here like, "I don't see how Michael Steele can possibly last another week," but this latest round proves that he'll have to get caught with a dead girl or a live boy, as the saying goes, before he suffers any serious consequences. Viva Steele!

EDIT: The Concerned Women for America don't really understand how these things work:

Did you really swill drinks, ogle young girls and plan party business at this kind of establishment?

No, no, Concerned Women. First they plan party business at an expensive hotel, and then they go to the S&M-themed strip club to swill drinks and ogle young girls. I'm happy to clear that up for you!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Fashion Victim: Getting Dressed In The Dark


Sometimes I really think about what I'm wearing to work and nobody notices, or I'll get the tried-and-true "That's an... interesting... combination." Today, I was a little rushed and didn't really pay attention. On my way to the Metro, I looked down and thought, Peteykins, what the hell have you got on? Wouldn't you know it? I got, like, a zillion compliments all day long. Here's what it was:

  • Blue windowpane plaid sport coat, wool, contemporary, Burberry.
  • Red patterned narrow tie, silk, vintage (early 60s?), no label.
  • Cobalt teal furry sweater*, mohair and acrylic, vintage (mid 60s?), Custom-Aire Sportswear.
  • Black and white patterned shirt, cotton, contemporary... OK, this is embarrassing, but it's French Connection (clearance rack at Filene's Basement, OK?).

I wore it all with blue Levi's 501s and black loafers with pink (?!) socks.

*These were trendy for a brief period in time. I love them! Whether acrylic "fauxhair" or genuine goat hair, I used to pick these oddities up in San Diego thrift stores for dirt cheap. Today, they're readily available on eBay.

Photoblogging: Spring Flowers Are Corny But Gorgeous

Click either for larger.

So, yeah, nothing is easier or more clichéd than photographs of cherry blossoms, but there you have it. Cynicism cannot stand in their presence. Below, I always see tourists oooh and awww over these trees, saying, "Oh, look at the cherry blossoms," but, of course, they are no such thing:


They're actually tulip magnolias, and they're everywhere in Washington, and they, too, are striking and beautiful.

In related news, the weather forecast is actually calling for rain and... OMG, snow? WTF? Yes. And a high in the lower 50s and –get this– a low of 34. Totally uncalled for. Tsk. So much for the cherry blossoms!

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Eagle, Ass

Click either for bigger.

The bus shown above features a less belligerent eagle than the similar one I posted two years (!) ago*. Spot the photographer's elbow!  Below, I couldn't resist a vulgar joke:


*Is it really almost the five-year anniversary of Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging? Yes!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Drinky

Pakistan Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi shares a laugh with Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, Wednesday, March 24, 2010, at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)

OMG, Hillary just got so totally wasted at the State Department today! Fun! Condi's photo-ops were never, ever like this. Hiccup! Wheee!

Do you like Hil's new look? I pronounce it TOTALLY CUTE.

Ladies! Here Are Your New Hairdos And Head Accessories



Click here to see this hairdo in motion and many more incredible vintage clips. Consider the rest of your workday totally ruined.

Interlude


While you were watching Joe Biden saying "Fuck," a word nobody else uses, ever, under any circumstances, I was enjoying the calm influence of the scene above, taken from my parent's backyard.

In other words, I have returned! To the cold!

It'll take a few days to get back into the swing of things, but hello! I heard Obama signed something? About bricks getting thrown through office windows? Ah, civility.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Reprint: Article on Big-Eyed Art, 1995

(Click all for bigger)

I'm going out of town for a long weekend, so I'm leaving you with this, a cover feature I wrote at the height of my obsession with big-eyed art in the mid-1990s. The cover features elements by Paul Mavrides composited (badly!) by Frank Kozik.  This was a fun feature to work on, and I was thrilled to interview some of my favorite artists for it: Bill Griffith, cartoonist auteur of Zippy the Pinhead; Dan Perkins, better known as Tom Tomorrow; extraordinarily talented illustrator Mitch O'Connell, who frequently includes Gig's "Potato Chip" in his work; and John Waters, who should require no introduction here. Enjoy.


Note: I no longer believe the story about Walter Keane "stealing" the idea of painting big-eyed children from his crazy wife, nor do I believe she painted his works for him. I'll write more about this bizarre case later.







Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Black and Red

Click all for bigger.

This one was difficult to shoot because it was blindingly sunny (yay!) outside, making the black parts especially reflective.  The bus' dirtiness helped. One way to avoid getting myself in the shot was to use the zoom, as below:


The other way was to employ an old trick, to take the photo from an angle and embrace the reflections:

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Quickie: X ∞ Multiplies

(image from One News Now (!))

I just found myself saying this to a coworker: "Well, I like X, I like The Ex, and I like X-ray Spex, so I'd probably like The XX, too."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Focus Pocus


Yes! It's ugly tour bus season once again, and it was a gorgeous day, so it was a pleasure to stroll across the Mall to shoot this one.

Difficult shot! This is a bus covered with a terrible photo-mural showing the sights of DC and New York. Please click to see the larger version and be surprised to realize that the photo is, in fact, in focus.

Let's hear it for Spring!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Health Care What? Huh? BSFLFJFAKL:KSAL:GDJ?

(Getty Images)

OK, look, I've avoided this whole health care issue, right? In fact, the hideousness of the debate over this subject led (in part) to me quitting blogging for, like, totally, like, three months last year (an eternity in blogtime). Ick. Blecccch. Uck. Such an annoying thing on the TV and the blogs and the facebooks.

So whatever, but I fully noticed something today! I went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Oh, I know, boring. But! You all know I'm a fed. That means I've got this, like, what do they call it? A Cadillac plan? With leather interior? Right. Actually, it's Kaiser Permanente, a plan that sounds fancier than it is, because it sounds vaguely European. My prescription is no big deal other than it totally stops me from dying 'n' stuff. Fun!

Here's what I finally noticed today at the bottom of my receipt for drugs:

KP price: 3147.65
You pay: 60.00

Holy shit. Is that for real? Is that just marketing? Yes? No? Gosh. I'm not playing dumb; I really am dumb when it comes to things like this.

So what if you're not me? What if you don't have health insurance? If you can't afford health insurance, I'm figuring you can't afford 3147.65 for two months worth of drugs that you have to refill every two months for, like, forever, to totally stop you from dying 'n' stuff.

So I guess if you're not like me, you just go ahead and die, because staying alive is too expensive. Bummer!

This message has been brought to you by Kaiser Permanente. Haw, kidding.

WTF? OK, I honestly don't understand this stuff. Really! My eyes glaze over. Am I getting something wrong? Seriously, it's fine to tell me I'm misunderstanding this. Either I'm just utterly missing something here or I'm late to the "something is terribly wrong" party.
I know this post is stupid and naive. I know I'm stupid and naive about certain things. Damn, though, fuck! At least I admit it.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Photoblogging: WTF Of The Day


I spied this candy machine today at Pentagon City (ugh), did a double take, and went back to take a photo of it with my iPhone (hence the shittiness). This has got to be the strangest name for candy since John Waters (whoa, two posts in a row) showed David Letterman his "Dingleberries" on TV.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Hairdressers and Fetuses Will Destroy The Teabaggers, Continued

Screen grab from John Waters' Pecker.

Last month I wrote about how the Tea Party™ movement was going to tear itself apart when forced to contend with the "social issues" so important to the nutty Christians, issues which they currently ignore altogether.

Well, sure enough, push is coming to shove, as demonstrated by this long article at Politico about how the Christianists are upset with the Libertarian-type teabaggers for ignoring "their" issues, while the Libertarians are nervous that those very issues will sink them:

There’s no centralized tea party organization, and anecdotes suggest that many tea party participants hold socially conservative views. But those views have been little in evidence at movement gatherings or in public statements, and are sometimes deliberately excluded from the political agenda. The groups coordinating them eschew social issues, and a new Contract From America, has become an article of concern on the social right.

The contract, sponsored by the grass-roots Tea Party Patriots as well as Washington groups such as FreedomWorks and Americans for Tax Reform, asks supporters to choose the 10 most important issues from a menu of 21 choices that makes no mention of socially conservative priorities such as gay marriage and abortion.

“They’re free to do it, but they can’t say [the contract] represents America,” said Family Research Council President Tony Perkins, a veteran of the Christian right. “If they do it they’re lying.”

Groups such as FreedomWorks, said Perkins, bring a libertarian bias that doesn’t represent the “true Tea Parties.” Brendan Steinhauser, the director of federal and state campaigns at FreedomWorks, responded that the contract represents activists’ priorities.

It's easy to see where this is heading: take on the queers and the unborn, alienate the Ayn Rand fans; ignore the fags 'n' fetuses, lose the fundamentalists.

Can't they all just get along? Ha, no.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Fashion Victim: Dada Disco

Click both for larger.

This long sleeved, 100% polyester disco shirt is by "Landmark" and was made in Taiwan. Here's a view of more of the peculiar pattern:


To many, this pattern probably seems like a random design involving screws, pointing hands, tiles of color and... a corkscrew sticking out of a faux tear in the fabric.

To those of us interested in 20th Century avant-garde art, however, it's startling to realize that it's based on Marcel Duchamp's obscure "last" painting, Tu m', of 1918, now in the collection of the Yale University Art Gallery. Oh, sure, they're a little off on some parts (in the painting it's a bottle brush sticking out of the tear, while the corkscrew is visible only as a shadow), but what a strange and surprising image to put on a shirt! When I spotted this in a Detroit thrift store, my reaction was, "Wait a minute... what?" I try to imagine the meeting where the designer says, "This esoteric painting fairly screams get down."

Marcel Duchamp has always been obscure to the general public, even today. In 1973, however, he got as mainstream as he ever was when the Philadelphia Museum of Art, MOMA, and the Art Institute of Chicago hosted a high-profile retrospective exhibition of his work, a show which was featured in popular magazines like Life. With that in mind, I think it's fairly safe to guess that this shirt was made in 1974.

Two Recent Family Circus Cartoons, Unaltered But With The Captions Removed, Presented As A Topic For Discussion


Some Headlines, Without Warning, Conjure Terrible Images In Your Head


Not to mention jokes best left untold.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Fashion Victim: Lacoste Hops On The Oversized Logo Bandwagon

Danger! Danger! Do not let this garment touch your flesh!

Oh, god, no. Remember? It was just recently, we banged our little gavels and pronounced the Ralph Lauren Polo shirts with the supersized logos to be tasteless and unacceptable to wear with the sole exception that you need to wear one to blend in undercover amongst douchebags. And then we moved on to other topics (Sarah Palin, paintings of big-eyed puppies and kittens).

But, lo! Now Lacoste is doing it too, and it seems maybe twice as bad! Who in their right mind would sport that huge alligator? How is the universe going to correct this?

Sea Hag

(AP)

You never know what you might stumble over on the interwebs. Like everybody else in Washington during the recent Snow Horror™, I bookmarked the Washington Post's "Federal Eye" to see if I had to go to work or not. Otherwise, it's the most boring part of their site. This weekend, though, they posted a highly entertaining tale of a Navy captain who got fired because, basically, she is just so totally bad-ass she makes all the sailors afraid:

Capt. Holly Graf, commander of the USS Cowpens, a guided-missile cruiser, was relieved of duty Jan. 13 after an investigation found she cursed so much at her 400-member crew that even the sailors -- no strangers to four-letter words -- were intimidated. According to the Navy inspector general's report released this week, officers complained that their captain humiliated them in front of the rest of the crew by calling them "idiots" and "stupid" as she spat a stream of obscenities. One noncommissioned officer said Graf treated him like a toddler, forcing him to take a "time out" by standing alone in an empty watch room.

Even better, the Post points to militarycorruption.com. They hate Capt. Graf so much, and with such cartoonish intensity, that you'll end up hating them, too, but OMG it's a hilarious Monday morning read. A sample:

In Graf's most famous, or infamous, incident, she did a "Captain Bligh" when she grabbed a male officer around the neck and started to squeeze. That is the ultimate NO-NO for any commander or boss. When you "put your hands on" a subordinate, it's end of the line for you, whether you're a senior chief petty officer or skipper of the boat. But instead of being forced to retire, "Horrible Holly," nick-named "The Sea H.A.G." by her many victims, got to stay in the Navy.

Not only did she escape real punishment, the wimpy leadership - and we mean YOU, Roughhead and Mullen - tried to pull a fast one recently and quietly slip her into a rear admiral's slot at AEGIS (BMD) in Virginia. After all, Holly "the special one," has a big sister who's already a flag officer. Her daddy is said to be a retired four-striper. This is one gal with "big-time connections."

Her most fierce proponents have been members of "The Sisterhood," a small but powerful group of lesbian senior officers at the Pentagon. To them, Holly can do no wrong. No woman "of their kind" can. And, if someone like Holly's criticized, well, that's "sexism," don't you know? Men are such chauvinists, anyway.

Oooh, a "powerful group of lesbian senior officers." HOTT.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Final Group Of Cartoon Dumpster Decorators

Click all for bigger.

Here's the last batch of the cartoon character stencils I made in the 80s. The one above was my favorite, and I also had a smaller version for more discreet use. That's Betty Boop's pal Bimbo (see his finest moment here). I'm a huge fan of Fleischer Studios' cartoons, with their slummier-than-Disney ambiance and rubbery surrealism. Naturally, I also love Olive Oyl:


This next one is more obscure, and I'm sad to report that it fell apart as I was scanning it:


That one must have puzzled people who saw it on dumpsters and power transformers in Mission Beach. That's Foska, the star of Marv Newland's experimental masterpiece Anijam (do watch it here). I have some more Anijam memorabilia I'll post later, as well as animation cels from Newland's other films.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

How Not To Stage A Photo-Op

Gov. Paterson makes an appearance at the opening of Palm Bar and Grille in Kennedy Airport. (Goldfield for NY Daily News)

This guy should take some lessons from Condi:

For an already under siege Paterson, the planned photo op couldn't have gone worse: He stood beneath a mural depicting a belching dog at the event at the Palm Bar and Grille.

A belching dog AND Paris Hilton (not that there's much of a difference).

Karl Rove's Memoir Reveals That Bush Presidency Was Actually Superfantastic

(AP Photo 09-17-03)

Karl Rove's memoir doesn't "drop" (as all the cool kids say) until Tuesday, but unembargoed copies have already been secured and hastily read by several news outlets. The Washington Post got a copy, and they've already posted a hurried review in addition to a funny quick-scan by Dana Milbank. It looks like this one is going to keep the fact checkers busy for weeks:

Although he concedes that Congress would have balked if it knew that no Hussein stockpile existed, he still slams Democratic leaders for insisting that Bush lied about the weapons to lead America into war. The Democrats, he says, earlier were just as outspoken about the danger of secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons in Iraq. "Those who accused Bush of sending America's military into harm's way on a bald-faced lie knew that their accusation was not true," he writes, adding that it was a "disgraceful game they were playing."

Nonetheless, Rove realizes that the accusation was corrosive to the administration's credibility and its prosecution of the war, and he regrets that he didn't swat back more determinedly. "Our weak response in defense of the president and in setting the record straight, is, I believe, one of the biggest mistakes of the Bush years," he writes.

Here, let me translate that into English for you: Rove says that Democrats were at fault for the Bush's mistaken launching of a disastrous war because they fell for the administration's lies, and his biggest regret is that they didn't sustain those lies more convincingly.

"As his loyal servant (and, not insignificantly, as his kingmaker)," the Post's Steven Levingston concludes, "Rove has fashioned a portrait of the Bush presidency that aims to shape history in his boss's favor."

I bet you never saw that coming.

Pony Pal™ Art Collection: Groovy Guitarist by Lee

Click for sumptuously bigger.

Oh, I am so very grateful to Pony Pal™ J. Frigg, who has sent in a scan of this magnificent big-eyed hipster for our enjoyment. I was aware that "Lee" painted groovy go-go pre-teens, but I don't have any examples of those myself, so I am very thankful that Mr. (Mrs.?) Frigg sent this. Lee's swingin' adolescents are more iconic, more fun than his depressing orphans. The style of the clothing and fake record covers puts this squarely in the mid-1960s.

"J" wondered if this one had a matching girl pendant, and I'm certain it did; I'm pretty sure I've seen it. I seem to recall it as showing a dancing tambourine player, her dark hair swaying. So good.

This is the style hilariously parodied for the cover of "If I Were a Carpenter," the fab Carpenters tribute album

Thanks again, J. Frigg, and I welcome any and all contributors to the celebration of big-eyed art here on PSP! Yay!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Ernie Bushmiller's Finest Moment


You can click the 1948 Nancy strip above to see it bigger, but what's truly impressive is that you don't have to.

UPDATE: More Brands Successfully Wedge Their Names Into AP Report On Sarah Palin Gifting Suite Rampage

Shown above is the godawful "Bandal"  snatched up by greedy Sarah Palin

Haw, earlier today I wrote about the Palin entourage's terrifying Academy Award Gifting Suite horror shakedown, and mentioned that "since she refused to be photographed, the only way the vendors could make it worthwhile was by complaining to the press about her being pushy and grabby."

And sure enough, more of the vendors present have come forward to bravely tell their stories, and have cleverly managed to get their product placements through after all, while skillfully avoiding passing judgment on the blatantly greedy fame-whore:

Lorna Khoo of Cardstore.com and various other vendors exhibiting their wares at the Silver Spoon gift suite said the former vice presidential candidate visited the suite on Wednesday morning and snapped up organic soaps from Wembe, personalized stationery from Cardstore.com, leopard-print wedge sandals from Bandals, and a slinky robe from Jenna Leigh lingerie.

"I gave the same robe to Jennifer Aniston," said Jenna Leigh, the designer whose label bears her name.

A big, sparkley well done to all of the above for getting your product plugged by the Associated Press. Particularly because it all seems to be really junky crap, such as this Jenna Leigh robe:



But never mind. That's CARDSTORE.COM FTW!

Painting: Hilarious Googly Giraffe

Googly Giraffe, 1996, multi-media, 8.5"x8.5". Click for 900x900.

This one is a bit... harsh.

In the mid- to late-nineties, I lived in an apartment above a block of storefronts at 9th and Broadway in downtown San Diego. There were seven one-bedroom units in a row alongside a shared indoor/outdoor hallway which connected in the middle to the stairway down to the street. I was in #6, my friend James was in #3, my friend Kat was in #7, and the other four contained an assortment of interesting characters, such as the elderly gentleman in #1 who always sported a sensational Roy Orbison-style wig.

The man in #2 was a strange old guy, a World War II veteran who lived by himself and usually looked drunk to me. Sometimes he would blare records super loud out his windows, top volume, a peculiar mix of Sousa marches and dated German band music. He was cranky. He'd scowl at you. He loved Kat, though! Lithe, sexy and somewhat crazy, more than a little like some ersatz Edie Sedgewick, she charmed him and developed a kind of ethereal rapport with him.

One Sunday, I think in 1995, I was hanging out in my apartment and happened to spy, out of my window, several black-clad SWAT snipers on the roof of the building across the street, all aiming their rifles at my building. Startled, I stepped out of my door into the hall, where I was greeted by several more SWAT guys, the nearest of whom turned in my direction, put his finger to his lips, and whispered, "Go back into your apartment." OK!

Several hours later, the coast was clear, and Katrina filled us in on what had happened. She had run into the guy in #2 in the hallway, and he was despondent. He told her he wanted to kill himself. Kat, wishing to calm him down and sober him up, took him into his apartment, where the two sat and chatted in his living room. Kat's efforts where unsuccessful, and he surprised her by taking out a pistol and really, in earnest, threatening to hill himself right then and there. Somehow, she convinced him to call the police, and that's when the snipers moved in.

Two days later, I saw the old codger in the barbershop downstairs as if nothing had ever happened. I never did find out what the consequences were, if any, of his little police stand-off, but it seemed as though the whole thing had simply been more-or-less brushed off.

One afternoon about a year later, James in #3 heard a loud sound in the hallway and brushed it off as something falling over, like a broom or a bicycle pump. A little later, he stepped outside into the hallway and found that the guy in #2 had finally been successful: he had dragged a dinette chair out into the hallway and shot himself in the head. I arrived home just as the ambulance was taking his body away. There was still blood on the floor, not much, and the various markings and tape barriers left behind by the police.

All of us felt the same: it was sad, yes, but inevitable. We all knew he was going to do it. At the same time we realized that he had been considerate to shoot himself in the hallway rather than inside his apartment, where he would have remained undiscovered for some time. This was an uncharacteristically sociable gesture on his part.

A couple of days passed, and a few members of his family (a niece and her husband, I think) arrived to clean out his unit. They were nice people, quite friendly. They confessed that they weren't that close to the deceased. They were piling all this random stuff up in the hallway for disposal, and most of us offered to help them out. "Well," she said, "there isn't much to do. We aren't keeping any of this stuff. In fact, if any of you want any of it, go ahead and help yourself."

This was kinda awkward. Do you want the dead guy's stuff? All of us were, like, humminahummnina, right?

And then... well, you could see it coming across each of us: "I don't know... but... it would be a waste to throw away that brand new box of laundry detergent, wouldn't it?" "Actually, I do like some of his records he'd blare out of the window." "I could use another end table." Shortly, all of us were digging through it all with abandon. Why not?

I was painting a lot at the time. Mostly I was executing very labor-intensive reverse paintings on glass. In between, I enjoyed doing "quickies" by buying cheap novelty plaques at Pic-n-Save and thrift stores, altering them with googly eyes and minimal additions of paint, and calling it art. The trick was to see how little you could add to the plaque to totally warp its meaning and purpose (I posted an example here recently).

In the pile of the dead man's belongings, I spied a plaque featuring a photo of a goofy looking giraffe alongside the advice CAUTION make sure BRAIN is engaged before putting MOUTH in gear. Somehow, it was jolting to see such an inane sentiment present amongst such a morbid harvest, like a smiley face tattoo on a mutilated corpse. I had to have it.

Later, without barely even thinking, I whited out some of the lines in the plaque's message and filled it in to create the new, admittedly crass slogan shown in the finished work above, making it more directly commemorative of the circumstances which led to its birth, and also, I feel, reflecting our ambivalent feelings towards the guy in #2 and what he had done.

And that's the story of how I made that dumb, tasteless artwork.

Meg Whitman Wins Crucial Condi Endorsement

Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the eighth husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, holds a campaign button after filing papers to run for governor in Sacramento, Calif. on Wednesday, Feb. 17, 2010. Von Anhalt, 65, a German-born socialite who filed his candidacy as an independent, will challenge Republicans Meg Whitman and Steve Poizner and the presumed Democratic candidate, Attorney General Jerry Brown. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

This news surprised me, not because there's so seldom any new Condiproduct these days, but because Condi's never gotten into the endorsement game before. But there you have it, Dr. Ferragamo says vote 4 Meg:

"In my experiences in and out of government, I find the most effective leaders to be those who maintain a clear vision, mobilize diverse groups, and inspire them to work together in confronting the most pressing challenges. That is why I am supporting Meg Whitman.

Wait, what's this about effective leaders? I wasn't aware Condi had any experience with effective leaders.

Anyway: GO MEG.

Reading Between The Lines

I don't mean to be insensitive, but when I read about the suicide of Marie Osmond's son in People magazine, the following jumped out at me (emphasis mine):

But by 2008, Michael, a talented musician and high school senior, appeared to be doing better: Mom boasted in her book Might As Well Laugh About It that he "had been accepted into a performing arts program for high school students."

Last fall, he enrolled in the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles. One of Michael's close friends says he "was happy" and "loved" L.A. – and the move made Osmond happy, too.

Hmmm... he went from a performing arts program in high school to the Fashion Institute of Design. Something tells me we're missing more than a few pieces of this story, but I think I already know what those pieces look like.

Sarah Palin Entourage Destroys Oscars Gift Suite

(Surreptitious cell phone photo [I'm guessing] via E! Online)

This should come as a surprise to no-one: Sarah Palin and her hangers-on went to one of those celebrity "gift suites" associated with the Academy Awards and basically took everything that wasn't nailed down:
"They were like locusts," says one vendor at the suite, regarding Palin and her large group of hangers-on. "She showed up with like 20 people, and they immediately swarmed the place taking everything!"

[...]

Palin grabbed some oversize sweatshirts and tie-dyed "jeggings" for Bristol, got a blowout by colorist Erick Orellana from the Chris McMillan Salon, along with snatching up jewelry from Pascal Mouawad, Skagen Watches, Lash Food and 40 pairs of Aiaiai headphones.

A spokesperson for Aiaiai tells us Sarah said "they would be great for working out."

But was Sarah just grabby 'n' whiny for a good cause? The press release for the suite states Palin gave over $1,700 dollars to the Red Cross and planned to donate what she received at the suite to charity.

Aiaiai headphones: average price $50, times 40 equals approximately $2000 of hard-won merchandise in one grab. But it's OK because it'll all go to charity, including the "jeggings" (ugh) for Bristol and the headphones Sarah said were "great for working out." Uh huh.

Once a hillbilly grifter, always a hillbilly grifter.

EDIT: The more I think about this story, the funnier it gets. Palin failed to understand the whole point of the gift suite, which is that you get free stuff in exchange for getting photographed with or near the vendors' merchandise. If she had allowed photographs, she could have been as pushy and grabby as she wanted, and nobody would have complained! But since she refused to be photographed, the only way the vendors could make it worthwhile was by complaining to the press about her being pushy and grabby.  It's so elementary! So once again it is demonstrated that Sarah Palin, because of her narcissism and greediness, is unable to understand the simplest, most obvious concepts. I'm sure she'll be able to turn this gaffe into yet another story about her being "victimized" by the media. Praise her.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Junk Drawer: More Stencils For Cheerful Property Destruction

Click for bigger!

I told you on Monday about my stenciling adventures in San Diego in the 1980s (I heart you, statute of limitations). Here are two more. I've never been particularly fond of the Flintstones, but I've always loved Wilma's fabulous hairdo, so there you go. Here's a far better female cartoon role model:


That green paint must have been on sale.

Photoblogging: Bummer Stickers

Click for 1200x900

The state of political discourse today! I spotted this vehicle outside my work and just had to capture it, you know, for comedy. First of all, I was unaware that "illegals" don't pay taxes. I guess they have a special membership card they whip out to store clerks while insisting the sales tax be dropped from their purchases. Handy!

What really struck me, though, was the apparent intense hatred of this Elijah Cummings person, somebody I had to Google to identify. It turns out he's a congressman from Maryland. Who knew? Reading up on him, he seems like an almost exceptionally ordinary Democrat, hardly one worth getting all worked up over, but he's been on Capitol Hill since 1996 so I suppose anybody's bound to make enemies in that amount of time. I'm sure the color of his skin couldn't possibly have anything to do with why a presumably white, Southern Marylander would dislike him.

Funniest of all to me, though, is the hilarious, over-the-top ACORN bashing. What is it about this innocuous organization that just sends Republicans into such a dither? I can't help but wonder if the person who placed this sticker on his truck really, truly believes that ACORN's activities include "Child Sex Slave Trade" and "Prostituion," whatever that is. Child Sex Slave Trade! Somebody should totally do something to stop ACORN from doing this bad thing! 

Other than that, the Hawaii sticker adds a touch of grandeur. 

Sarah Palin Cannot Resist An Opportunity To Lie On TV

In this image released by NBC, former Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin is shown during an interview with host Jay Leno on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,' Tuesday, March 2, 2010, in Burbank, Calif. (AP Photo/NBC, Paul Drinkwater)

Oh, jeez, I stayed up last night to watch La Palin on the TV, and it was pretty much what I expected. She did the "writing on my hand" thing, again, which by now has taken on a "I meant to do that" quality.

But what really killed me was the way she said that she had "no opportunity to follow up" on the whole Family Guy "retard" controversy. Is she high? Here she is on the most popular late night program, following up on a controversy while simultaneously claiming she had no follow-up opportunities? And didn't she, like, say stuff on Facebook about this whole thing, and weren't her semi-literate Facebook posts about it then immediately reported by just about every news outlet in the world? And didn't she gripe about it on Fox News as well?

No opportunity for follow-up?

This morning I found that others, such as Geoffrey Dunn at the Huffington Thing, noticed the same phenomenon. What's more, the New York Times reported that they asked her to comment on the kerfuffle (to follow up, in other words) immediately after the incident, but she ignored them. I think Maureen O'Connor at Gawker puts it best:

Recall that she is already a career talking head and capable of commanding interviews in any newspaper, TV show, or radio program in America. The only bigger platform would be to attach a megaphone to the moon and blanket the entire planet with her voice.

God, this woman is a national treasure.