Monday, March 08, 2010

Sea Hag


You never know what you might stumble over on the interwebs. Like everybody else in Washington during the recent Snow Horror™, I bookmarked the Washington Post's "Federal Eye" to see if I had to go to work or not. Otherwise, it's the most boring part of their site. This weekend, though, they posted a highly entertaining tale of a Navy captain who got fired because, basically, she is just so totally bad-ass she makes all the sailors afraid:

Capt. Holly Graf, commander of the USS Cowpens, a guided-missile cruiser, was relieved of duty Jan. 13 after an investigation found she cursed so much at her 400-member crew that even the sailors -- no strangers to four-letter words -- were intimidated. According to the Navy inspector general's report released this week, officers complained that their captain humiliated them in front of the rest of the crew by calling them "idiots" and "stupid" as she spat a stream of obscenities. One noncommissioned officer said Graf treated him like a toddler, forcing him to take a "time out" by standing alone in an empty watch room.

Even better, the Post points to They hate Capt. Graf so much, and with such cartoonish intensity, that you'll end up hating them, too, but OMG it's a hilarious Monday morning read. A sample:

In Graf's most famous, or infamous, incident, she did a "Captain Bligh" when she grabbed a male officer around the neck and started to squeeze. That is the ultimate NO-NO for any commander or boss. When you "put your hands on" a subordinate, it's end of the line for you, whether you're a senior chief petty officer or skipper of the boat. But instead of being forced to retire, "Horrible Holly," nick-named "The Sea H.A.G." by her many victims, got to stay in the Navy.

Not only did she escape real punishment, the wimpy leadership - and we mean YOU, Roughhead and Mullen - tried to pull a fast one recently and quietly slip her into a rear admiral's slot at AEGIS (BMD) in Virginia. After all, Holly "the special one," has a big sister who's already a flag officer. Her daddy is said to be a retired four-striper. This is one gal with "big-time connections."

Her most fierce proponents have been members of "The Sisterhood," a small but powerful group of lesbian senior officers at the Pentagon. To them, Holly can do no wrong. No woman "of their kind" can. And, if someone like Holly's criticized, well, that's "sexism," don't you know? Men are such chauvinists, anyway.

Oooh, a "powerful group of lesbian senior officers." HOTT.


Fran said...

Holly looks like tranny material to me.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!! Thanks for the Monday Morning SmileMaker, Princess! But I was let down when I read that the "Captain Bligh" meant grabbing a male officer's *neck* and squeezing. I thought it would be something else ;-).

Anonymous said...

Great Story,
I worked with Holly in 1995 in San Diego. She was just an all around angry, mean person then. I remember she got bit by a dog and signifcantly injured her hand. The folks at the Navy Hospital were talking about her visit for years later. Apparently it was their fault that the dog bit her. I find the accusations against her not hard to believe at all. However, I don't think she is lesbien. Just an angry and mean person.

Lulu Maude said...

It's that god-awful hat. I'd get mean if I walked around in those threads.

Powerful group of not-telling lesbian senior officers? They're a disgrace to the preference!

I'm not asking, tho'.

okojo said...

After reading the story on, it sounds like she falsified data, and was not being honest. Besides, no matter if she has a "Daddy Rabbit" or "Mommy Rabbit" higher up. The Armed Services have a "Up or Out" policy. Even she wasn't forced to retire, her record would had caused her to be pushed out.

The only way she could had kept on going if she had someone in the Civilian Leadership who wanted to be promoted, to crunch some toes and cause sheer hell, in basically a Rumsfeld type of manner. She wasn't going to be promoted to Rear Admiral, because Congress controls flag ranks, and there is enough stuff to question any promotion.

The ship drag racing isn't a big deal, unless the ships collided, then she would be up a certain creek without a paddle. As Captain of a ship, her commands are law, but she damages the ship, she has a court martial.

Lulu Maude said...

Kinda looks like Johnny Carson in drag.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Okay, since I am a lesbian, what I'm about to say is neither sexist nor homophobic.
That women is the biggest dyke I've ever seen. I'll bet she's so butch she rolls her own tampons.
I'll bet she pees standing up.
I'll bet her vibrator is made by Black & Decker, has a kick start and a gas engine.

Fran said...

Karen Zipdrive, I can smell the gasoline fumes from here now!

sfmike said...

Though lesbian love is the only true love, truly evil lesbians are definitely scary. I saw the movie "Caged" at an impressionable age and have never quite gotten over it. Have also worked with a few Evil L's in the corporate world and am still picking the knives out of my back.