Friday, January 14, 2011

Michael Steele MEGA-Roundup

Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Michael Steele walks off stage after announcing that he would drop his re-election bid, Friday, Jan. 14, 2011, during the Republican National Committee Winter Meeting in Oxon Hill, Md. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Ohhhh... this is sad. It's official: Michael Steele is no longer our beloved RNC Hilarity Clown. But you know what? We loved Michael before he became head of the RNC, and we'll continue to love him now... and forever! Let's take a moment (even though listicle month, December, is behind us) and relive this blog's best Michael Steele posts:

  • September 19, 2006: Maryland senate candidate Michael Steele becomes an instant PSP Sparklefave by costarring in one of the dumbest campaign ads ever with an adorable Boston Terrier puppy.
  • September 21, 2006: Sensing electoral disaster, Steele campaign resorts to hardcore, shameless racism.
  • September 26, 2006: Maryland Dems air ad which says, "Michael Steele may like puppies, but he looooooooooves George Bush!"
  • October 23, 2006: Michael J. Fox campaigns against Steele.
  • November 13, 2006: Fearing the worst, Steele campaign hires homeless Pennsylvanians to pass out infamous fliers which imply that Steele is a Democrat.

  • April 3, 2007: "Have you seen my puppy?" Michael wonders to nobody in particular.
  • November 12, 2008: Steele to head the RNC? "Yes, Please," PSP practically begs.
  • January 30, 2009: Steele wins bid to head the RNC. "It's only a matter of time before he says something wonderfully dumb," I predict.
  • February 3, 2009: Just two days later, prediction comes true.
  • February 22, 2009: PSP next predicts just how the "hip-hopification" of the GOP will play out.
  • February 27, 2009: Michael inspires Michele Bachmann to speak in ebonic-tongues.
  • March 2, 2009: Steele picks fight with Rush Limbaugh. PSP introduces custom Michael Steele Roundup puppy graphics series which will eventually number in the dozens (32 and counting!):

  • March 2, 2009: Limbaugh wins. Best Michael Steele month EVER begins in earnest.
  • March 3, 2009: Republicans begin to realize they've got a Michael Steele problem. Steele calls his detractors "nervous nellies" in response.
  • March 4, 2009: Inept, disaster, , not good, go away, whipped dog, easy to ignore... all words used to describe Michael Steele... by Republicans! Also: Michael Steele Funnies:

  • March 5, 2009: PSP declares Politico's obsessive coverage of Steele to be "unfuckingbelievable."
  • March 9, 2009: "My goal is not to embarrass my party," Michael claims.
  • March 11, 2009: Steele accurately described as your embarrassing father trying to be cool. He also calls abortion an "individual choice" and says hairdressers can't help dressing hair.
  • March 12, 2009: Steele has to spend all day taking back what he said the day before.
  • March 18, 2009: Politico publishes five articles about Steele in one day.
  • March 26, 2009: Michael claims his gaffes are "strategic," forgets to eat dinner.
  • March 28, 2009: Michael Steele Month ends as Steele sends out pointless, hilarious survey, and PSP counters with only slightly more ridiculous parody:

  • April 20, 2009: "Whether or not you've bottomed or not, you better have something to say to the American people."
  • April 23, 2009: "This is the core of the party upset at their incompetent party chairman for not calling the President of the United States a socialist."
  • April 30, 2009: Steele goes on and on and on AND ON about... hats?
  • May 11, 2009: Steele is thrilled to get "a shout-out" from Obama, apparently unaware that he had just been cruelly insulted.
  • May 19, 2009: Michael uses the phrases "we're not looking back" and "take a lesson from Ronald Reagan" in the same paragraph.
  • June 11, 2009: Still not giving up on the hat metaphors.

  • June 28, 2009: "Here we go again," Steele says, hilariously, in response to the latest GOP sex scandal.
  • July 21, 2009: Michael is accurately described as "political comedy relief" and "a dummy."
  • January 6, 2010: Steele achieves the most meaningless sentence ever uttered by a politician.
  • March 31, 2010: RNC lesbian bondage nightclub scandal reaction roundup!
  • April 5, 2010: Proven election-loser Steele promotes proven election-loser to help win elections.
  • April 11, 2010: PSP points out that he tried to warn Republicans about Michael Steele, but they just wouldn't listen.
  • May 20, 2010: Neil Cavuto tells Steele, "everybody hates you," right to his face!
  • June 22, 2010: Grover Norquist lists, like, a gazillion people who he thinks are leading the Republican Party, and none of them are Michael Steele.

So there you go, the story so far! Let's not say goodbye to Michael Steele, but au revoir, because you just can't keep a star performer down. Thanks for the memories, Michael, let's make some more!


Maddiane said...

I miss him already!

Lulu Maude said...

I'd like to see him hook up with Condoleeeeezzzza. Then we could have them both back!