Thursday, March 26, 2009

All Michael Steele's Gaffes Just Part of His Genius Plan

This actually explains a lot! See, everybody's reaction to Michael Steele has been all, like, OMG, why is he saying all these stupid things? Well! It turns out we were all walking into his cleverly designed trap:

Steele: I am very introspective about things. I don't do -- I am a cause and effect kind of guy. So if I do something, there's a reason for it. Even, it may look like a mistake, a gaffe. There is a rationale, there's a logic behind it.

Lemon: Even with the current events in news--

Steele: Yeah.

Lemon: There's a rationale behind Rush, all that stuff?

Steele: Yup. Yup.

Lemon: You want to share it with us?

Steele: Sure, I want to see what the landscape looks like. I want to see who yells the loudest, I wanted to know who says they're with me but really isn't.

Lemon: How does that help you?

Steele: It helps me understand my position on the chess board. It helps me understand, you know, where the enemy camp is and where those who are inside the tent are.

Lemon: It's all strategic?

Steele: It's all strategic.

OH! I feel so used. It's humbling to realize that Mikey is simply so brilliant that his actions merely seem incomprehensible to the rest of us.

In other Steele news, I'm assuming this was also intentional:

Tuesday night was the National Republican Congressional Committee’s big donor dinner at the National Building Museum, with the GOP headliner, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal.

And next to Jindal sat a big, empty seat. With a nameplate.

Whose seat could that be? Why, it was reserved for RNC Chairman Michael Steele.

RNC staffers were overheard at the dinner saying they didn’t understand the error; they thought it was on his schedule.

Ha! Steele wanted you to think it was on his schedule. He's just keeping you on your toes!


Karen Zipdrive said...

I heard that last night and thought he sounded like George Costanza on "Seinfeld."

Anonymous said...

Probably his little puppy paws were busy tearing Condi's dress to shreds before she went on Leno.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Perhaps your comment is intended to address the issue of why I haven't written about Condi going on Leno? She was boring.

Anonymous said...

I didn't think of George Costanza, but I was reminded of Baldrick in Rowan Atkinson's great Britcom, "Black Adder." "I have a cunning plan."

Anonymous said...

Actually, his behavior reminds me more of Jon Lovitz' SNL character Tommy Flanagan (AKA The Pathological Liar.) "Yeahhh! That's the ticket!"

Terry in Silver Spring said...

You know, Steele is used to being completely friendless. He's is literally the only African-American Republican in Prince George's County, Maryland. Arguably one of only a handful of folks in that narrow catagory in the whole state.

He's used to being alone. He's used to the folks around him thinking he's slightly or fully bonkers. This all will not phase him.

puravida said...


Kinda like "Mission Accomplished."

Bush wanted us all to think "mission accomplished" when in reality...

It's like Mike's still living in Bush bizarro world.

Lulu Maude said...

Whoa--he's got that Zen of Dubya thang going.

Look out.

Strangething said...

Some Spanish newspaper did a poll on the most beautiful female politicians, worldwide. Daily Mail has the story. I'd link, but your spam filter might eat it.

Yuliya is number 8. Somehow Hillary Clinton made the list.

Anonymous said...

The scariest thing about that Daily Mail story is not that Palin is on the list but that a cutline under her photo refers to her as "U.S. vice president elect."


Anonymous said...

The scariest thing about that Daily Mail story is not that Palin is on the list but that a cutline under her photo refers to her as "U.S. vice president elect."


Anonymous said...

Lemmee outa this freakin tent!!! i think its time to dig out the ol' bush/cheney '04 wardrobe. like 911 ya know?

carmen sutra said...

That devious BASTARD!! It's now obvious that Asimov based his concept of psychohistorians on Michael Steele.

Matty Boy said...

So there's a landscape with an enemy camp, apparently filled with Republicans, since they can say they are with Puppy Love, but really aren't. Which you can tell because of all the yelling.

And all this is embedded in a chess board.

So there's mixing metaphors, and then there's just throwing metaphors into a blender and hitting the "puree" button.

Sounds like a genius to me!