Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Michael Steele Roundup: Cancellations and Cold Calls

Things haven't been going so well for Mikey lately. He really is wonderfully hopeless, isn't he? What's been going on since the whole "sweep the millions of dollars of debt under the rug and maybe nobody will notice" thing? Plenty!

First of all, Michael was supposed to appear in San Diego at a gathering of African American journalists. Hilarious, right? What could go wrong? But even Steele realized he had made a big mistake in agreeing to march into hostile territory, and at the last minute he literally called in sick! For real! And not only did he call in sick, he used the lamest, most fake excuse ever: food poisoning.

Right around the same time he was pretending to get sick, cooler heads prevailed about the wisdom of Michael sharing a stage with Andrew Breitbart after the whole Shirley Sherrod thing.  I can imagine Steele, confused, saying to his handlers (?), "Can't I say I have food poisoning for that, too?" And then his handlers would say, "No, Mike, that's in the future; we can't give food poisoning as an excuse to not show up for something in the future." So anyway, they "postponed" the thing with Breitbart, and in this case, "postponed" is almost certainly a euphemism for "canceled." Tricky!

So with Michael canceling things right and left, what's a person to do if they want to elicit more gems of wisdom from the amusing chairman? How about arranging a fraudulent telephone interview while posing as a wealthy "donor" and then getting him to say all kinds of stupid things? Well, it worked like a charm for this guy, and the results are predictably hilarious. There's a lot to love in this interview, but my favorite part is that Steele reveals that he has every intention of running for a second term as RNC chairman! This confirms that he is exactly as self-unaware as we like him to be. Of course, a second term for Mikey is about as likely as Sarah Palin all of a sudden understanding foreign policy, but don't tell him that!

So stay tuned, because there's obviously a lot more fun to be had. Yay!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.... food poisoning. 


Matty Boy said...

Hopped up on anti-nausea drugs might actually help Michael Steele make more sense. His mind races too much and his mouth tries to keep up.

Fran said...

Food poisoning? That's only because he is eating his own sh*t! Of course he feels lousy!

Stephen said...

The Michael Steel Roundup picture is adorable.

I'm going to miss these when he's gone. Aww.

Anonymous said...

The only times I've pulled the food poising trick was after a 3 day binge and couldn't face my family / work. Just sayin'...

desertwind said...

Aw, I don't think we won't have Michael Steele to kick around any more 'cause I'm predicting he runs & wins!

Really, he's popular with the local yokel GOP members who get to vote.

The beat goes on.