October was pretty much a month made for PSP as torrents of "news" about hairdos, shoes and fashions simply fell into my waiting lap. At first I resisted, but then threw up my hooves, surrendered to its siren-like call and went ahead and posted 129 items (!) about the stupidest month in American political history. Some highlights:
- 10-01: Sarah already creating jobs as Craigslist reveals casting call for Palin porn.
- 10-01: I tried to warn Al Franken about the dangers of adorable puppies.
- 10-02: We all swooned at the fabulous, Gumby-like first lady of Qatar.
- 10-03: We noticed that Jeff Gannon had disappeared from the internets.
- 10-07: Bulgaria unveiled a lolling, horrific, grimacing Condigiant.
- 10-10: I declared a new national holiday to absolve myself of all wrongdoings.
- 10-12: I found disturbing connections between the McCain campaign and I Dream of Jeannie.
- 10-13: Palin porn debuts, nation feels uncomfortable, awkward.
- 10-15: News of Palin's shoe shopping and pictures of her shoes pretty much dominated the entire month.
- 10-16: Some debate happened, and McCain debuted his exciting "grotesque tongue monster" persona. A star was born.
- 10-17: I broke character and had a little tizzy fit, and then Free Republic laughed and pointed at me, and then they ran away.
- 10-20: Still obsessed with Cindy.
- 10-21: The entire world realized the whole election was mostly about Sarah Palin's wardrobe.
- 10-23: I confronted my own elitism and sampled questionable pork products.
- 10-28: Yes, yes, but what about the male candidates' hairdos?
- 10-29: Peruvian shamans call the race for Obama, election officially over:
NOVEMBER:
- 11-04: I was so excited by the outcome of the election –that Jean Schmidt had been reelected– that I could hardly contain myself.
- 11-05: We pondered the deep, philosophical questions posed by Piper Palin's fake LV bag.
- 11-06: We remembered Condi was still around, looked her way, got bored.
- 11-06: We bid a tearful farewell to Cindy McCain, ogled her in her bathrobe.
- 11-11: For one night only, Condi became queen of the Glamour Universe.
- 11-13: I was relieved to realize that Sarah Palin will always, always be hilarious and stupid.
- 11-17: We all hopped on the Papa Bear Bandwagon.
- 11-18: I thought about how pretty a burning cross on my front lawn would look for Christmas.
- 11-20: We took a quick Ursula Break, not realizing that such pleasures would be short-lived.
- 11-23: And then she was gone.
- 11-24: We consoled ourselves in New York City's high-concept advershitters.
- 11-25: We consoled ourselves further when we realized that at least we get to keep adorable, teensy-weensy Robert Gates:
DECEMBER:
12-01: Condi got to meet the Queen! In her bathrobe!
12-03: Beard-killer Obama pretended to miss Bill's.
12-07: I optimistically introduced the soon-to-be-mothballed Bill Richardson Facial Hair Alert System.
12-08: I worried about false idols.
12-10: NPR asked Condi if she were sick of "blogs that follow your hairstyles and shoes."
12-11: We fell in love with Blago's hair.
12-12: CNN fell in love with PSP falling in love with Blago's hair.
12-14: Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance got off to a flying start.
12-17: We briefly considered Sarah Palin gift baskets for all our friends.
12-22: We contemplated theft.
All in all, it was a fantastically stupid year, one uniquely suited to the focus of this blog. This new year provides much upon which to speculate: will the Middle Eastern Shoe Renaissance grow in sophistication and influence? Will Condi really not become "arm chair SoS" on the Sunday shows like she promised? Will Ursula Plassnik remain out of the public eye? Will Papa Bear Richardson get his groove back?
Stay tuned!
8 comments:
So sorry about Papa Bear's dilemma. I guess he gave out too many picnic baskets to his bear buddies.
:|
Some alerts are doomed before they even start. sigh.
PSP,
Excellent "Year in Review".
The only noteworthy story I did not see re-visited was "LeCondel".
Or is that much ado about nothing?
"Lecondel" was coined in 2007.
PSP,
My apologies.
Well, mothballing the BRFHAS is all you can do at this point. If poppa bear manages to come out of the investigation clean as a whistle, I expect we'll be hearing from him again. Otherwise, his career will probably join the alert system.
What would '08 have been without PSP? Perhaps such an entry could be included -- as a bright spot -- in any future "Journal of the Plague Year."
I really appreciated your "little tizzy fit" of October 17, because from the moment Sarah Palin was nominated till the moment Obama won, I was pretty much in a constant state of tizziness about Palin, which you, dear PSP, articulated much better than I could.
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