Sunday, December 07, 2008

Introducing the Bill Richardson Facial Hair Alert System™



It's a little sad to introduce the Bill Richardson Facial Hair Alert System with the current state at the lowest, most disappointing level, but Papa Bear's elevation to Obama cabinet demigod kinda forced my hand.

This valuable public service (if I don't say so myself) will accompany, not replace, the Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System in the right-hand margin of the site. I have high hopes for the BRFHAS! Don't let us down, Papa Bear!

And if you really, really want to impress your friends and show them that, like Fox News reporters, you are determined to stay informed on the political topics which really matter, you'll want to head to the Richardson Alert Cafe Press shop to purchase BRFHAS t-shirts and coffee mugs. Because, you know, why not?

So, you know, to clarify: I will keep track of Bill Richardson's facial hair so you don't have to, and I will still do the same for Condi's hairdo.

20 comments:

karenzipdrive said...

Great news. I saw some pics of the audience at the De La Hoya fight last night and Bill is definitely at the "guarded" stage.

FranIAm said...

You are ever our public servant in this realm and I can only continue to thank you profusely.

Oh those bear claw graphics are something to behold.

Lulu Maude said...

It is only fitting that you add to your duties. Condoleezza has been something of a disappointment since you began the alert system, ever dedicated to that flat, ironed out page boy sort of thing. A pony's passion for dynamism can only stand so much of Dr. F's fundamental inertia.

Facial hair by its very nature offers greater opportunity. It presents decisions that must be made on a daily basis.

After Jan. 20 you may add other cabinet members to your systematic approach to What Really Matters, as Condohoozza retreats to Stanford, or pro ball, or the concert hall...

Your future lies before you, dear Pony. You've many a tantalizing trot before you.

z7q2 said...

Did you mean Typography, as in letters shaved into his beard (a SEVERE rating I'd think) or Topography, as in hirsute hills and valleys?

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Probably the latter, which makes it a good thing that I saved the PSD.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Wait, no, I take it back. I meant typology.

Anonymous said...

PSP:

You're a genius.

Why don't they make you Under Secretary for Pubic [sorry, meant Public] Diplomacy and Public Affairs?

z7q2 said...

Ah yes, typology works much better. I was trying to wedge the two previous choices in and getting confused.

Good thing it was corrected before all the merch starts going out.

Speaking of which, no boxer shorts or thongs? Too bad CafePress doesn't offer customized male grooming kits!

sfmike said...

Way to multitask, Princess, though once the Big C is gone, can you please take her hair alert down? I'm looking forward to a future where I don't have to think about the Queen of Torture.

Chris said...

...dear God, I come by to check the Pink Pony, and THIS is what greets me.

SHEER. M-F'ING. BRILLIANCE. The colors just killed me. The bear pawprints were also a nice touch.

Lesley said...

We used to try to guess what color it would be on any given day because sometimes it is grey and sometimes black and it can change daily (maybe even hourly). If we knew he would be on some news show we would see if we could guess which color it would be before he came on.

Matty Boy said...

So happy you will be with us and moving forward. Your blog's name has nothing to do with the current administration, and it's easy enough to change the focus.

I sometimes write essays for The Smirking Chimp, which of course is a derisive name for Bush, and they aren't changing the name when the new administration comes in.

Sad, really.

HRH King Friday XIII said...

LOVE IT!!!

rptrcub said...

What about a handlebar Castro mustache? What level does that rise to?

dguzman said...

Oh, Princess--you're a lifesaver. If I had to keep up with this stuff on my own, I'm sure my head would explode.

You're doing important work; don't let anyone ever tell you different.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Reporter Cub, that would be either "High" or "Severe," but I'd actually have to see it to make the call. If it were waxed, for instance, it would automatically fall into the "Severe" category.

I can't wait!

carmen sutra said...

PSP, it's obvious that you have public service in your soul. I think you should be appointed Secretary of HUD (Hair and Up-do Development).

samael7 said...

OMG! I feel like I'm totally watching history being made!!

This really *is* a transformative administration-to-be!

Matty Boy said...

Thank you for using an asymmetrical bear paw design that will not be confused with the Blackwater logo.

I think Bill Richardson will not resort to mustache wax, but I think Grecian formula may well be in his future.

Karl said...

I think we need a Bill Richardson Dimple Alert System too. If those suckers get out of control there's no telling what could happen!