Monday, October 20, 2008

Cobalt Goddess

Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., is seen during a campaign stop in Philadelphia, Monday, Oct. 20, 2008. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

How much more fabulousness can I take? I haven't talked about the New York Times' Saturday article on Lady Penelope yet because it's just so mean that I thought I'd better wait for some glamorous new photos to add a touch of balance. Oh, it's just a Cindypalooza, this article! It's all about Cindy, the sensational millionairess, being so fabulous and bursting with glitter and pizazz, that everybody shunned her and didn't want to be around her, as she'd reveal all in her presence to be the dull, unstylish blobs of flesh-colored plasticine they really are. Has she known tragedy and woe? Oh, my, yes:

In interviews, some of Mrs. McCain’s statements seem questionable. She often tells of how she moved to California, leaving her children behind, for four months in 2004 to recover from a stroke that left her unable to walk or speak. But news reports from the time indicate she had few discernible impediments. She gave interviews four days afterward, attended a baseball game with her husband and a reporter several weeks later, and spoke at a Tempe, Ariz., Chamber of Commerce event. “One month out, I feel wonderful,” she told the audience. The McCain campaign declined to resolve the discrepancy.

Wait, wait, here's another great shot of Cindy:

Trying to focus on Giuliani? See? You can't do it! Not with Cindy in the shot! He's totally lost in the vortex of Cindy's enchanting magnetism. Let's learn more about this incredible, classy lady:

Similarly, Mrs. McCain often mentions her travels to Rwanda at the height of the 1994 genocide — she wrote about it in a recent Wall Street Journal opinion piece and has been praised by politicians and newspaper columnists for jetting into the heart of a massacre. As with her other charity trips, participants praised her eagerness to help victims of tragedy. But news accounts and interviews indicate, and a campaign spokesman confirmed, that Mrs. McCain traveled after the genocide had ended, spending time with refugees in neighboring Zaire, now Congo. Asked if she was ever in Rwanda, as Mrs. McCain has stated many times, a campaign spokesman, Jill Hazelbaker, said “she was driven to the Zaire/Rwanda border in order to assess the conditions of the refugees entering the country.”

People are so gotcha-y and nitpicky! Just let Cindy be Cindy, like here:

Ahhh, that's better. It all comes down to being #1:

Whatever stumbles she may have made in telling her story, Mrs. McCain has exhibited the signal trait of the political spouse: a burning desire to win.

Yes! And if McCain had done the right thing, he'd have picked Cindy for his running mate, and that whole "winning" thing wouldn't even be in question. She's got loads more executive experience than that upstart Palin girl, who is barely qualified to hold Cindy's garment bag (She should be so lucky! We should all be so lucky!), after all.

And finally, the NO SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT CINDY rule is still being strictly enforced, because I know the moment I let my guard down, you meanypants will be all over her.


Lulu Maude said...

Not mean, I hope, but she really ought to loosen up that 'do.

She also ducked sniper fire in Bosnia, right?

paxr55 said...

Um. Cindy looks nice in that cobalt suit?

I read the New York Times story too. They did the best they could without the benefit of an interview with Mrs. McCain. I am not the fan of Cindy fabulosity that you are, Sparkle Pony. I do see her as a victim, however, of an older, relentlessly ambitious, post-POW guy with dubious morals. I think he just overwhelmed her. So she has my sympathy.

The "shrine" the NYT says she has built to her husband in one of their Arizona homes struck me as a little unfair. She couldn't be (chose not to be) with her husband in Washington--not tough enough for the congressional spouses scene--so she did what any wife would do in her circumstances: devote a room to his legacy. At least she could have a relationship with his things. I myself am waiting for reporting on how mean McCain is said to have been to Cindy.

All in all, a very weird marriage and life, even by Senate and beer heiress standards. Is that mean? I'm sorry. Did I say how well she manages her upper-lid eyeliner. Really makes her siberian husky eyes pop!

Jess Wundrun said...

I would not drape my meanypants anywhere near Lady Penelope. She deserves a whole meanypantsuit, IMO. But here I respectfully beg to agree to disagree.

Matty Boy said...

She is a walking hairdo alert system. Keep her away from the granny shawls and her choices are always interesting.

Rhode Island Rules said...

Her left is NOT her good side. And those thin lips with that red streak across them...eech! Looks like she just drew the fangs back in.

So the 4 month recovery from a stroke might be a cover for a nervous breakdown? Get away from the kids, even though the nannies and housekeepers and cooks were doing the work. And the kids were pretty old at that time. 2004....what else could be going on...Vicky Iseman?....and her husband telling her he wanted to run for President again?

paxr55 said...

Good catch, Rhodey Rules.

Iseman and Maverick.

The fabulous Cindy feint (a stroke, ca. 2004) was suggested in the NYT piece.

Again, it's not meanypants, is it?, to observe that Cindy is well-equipped to totally get the vapors when circumstances warrant.

smapdi said...

I think the dress is an homage to the Wives in the Handmaid's Tale.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nothing mean to say here...I happen to think formaldehyde makes an excellent make-up base.

jterry said...

The fact that she pulls off the cobalt so well totally helps to allay the urge I had Friday to say something exceptionally mean about her resemblance to her Halloween pumpkin.

Anonymous said...

Being a girl the same age as Cindy, I have to agree that she has a fabulous hand with the eyeliner brush. I can't deal with that shit anymore, myself.

Props to her!

FranIAm said...

This is not mean, but her hair keeps going all Palin-palooza. I'm not sayin but I'm just sayin.

BTW, in the second photo, is she singing "High Flying Adored?"

I think she is.

samael7 said...

jterry, you have more restraint than I did.

But I meant it about the glamour. She really does have it. She's got a radiant smile that lights up her stunning eyes when it's genuine.

But the up 'do? No, I am not a fan. Her hair looks MUCH better down than up. I haven't been able to shake that Cabaret reference either, which doesn't help.

Let Cindy be Cindy and let the tresses run free!

Anonymous said...

Being rich sure makes her look rich.

tireiron chef said...

Hey, I thought I signed my monicker.

zoe said...

I am amazed by the range of designers she sports. I am getting dizzy trying to find them all online. Bijan, Missoni, Valentino, and other assorted +$2,000 outfits. I wonder if she will go all American designers if she hits the white house.I wonder what hairdo she will stick to. I wonder who her favorite shoe designer is. I wonder who her plastic surgeon is...oooops!

paxr55 said...

Speaking of Missoni, when McCain took his WTF-trip to Colombia and Mexico this summer, I didn't have the benefit of PSP fabulous fashion coverage, having discovered Princess Sparkle Pony only this past month.

Didn't Cindy go through an efflorescent Missoni stage, with that floral number in Mexico? My mother tagged it as a $7000 Missoni number.

What does PSP say? Missoni? $7000? Did PSP approve of the PSP-pink ensemble? Or was it too too outre?