Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., is seen during a campaign stop in Philadelphia, Monday, Oct. 20, 2008. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)
How much more fabulousness can I take? I haven't talked about the New York Times' Saturday article on Lady Penelope yet because it's just so mean that I thought I'd better wait for some glamorous new photos to add a touch of balance. Oh, it's just a Cindypalooza, this article! It's all about Cindy, the sensational millionairess, being so fabulous and bursting with glitter and pizazz, that everybody shunned her and didn't want to be around her, as she'd reveal all in her presence to be the dull, unstylish blobs of flesh-colored plasticine they really are. Has she known tragedy and woe? Oh, my, yes:
In interviews, some of Mrs. McCain’s statements seem questionable. She often tells of how she moved to California, leaving her children behind, for four months in 2004 to recover from a stroke that left her unable to walk or speak. But news reports from the time indicate she had few discernible impediments. She gave interviews four days afterward, attended a baseball game with her husband and a reporter several weeks later, and spoke at a Tempe, Ariz., Chamber of Commerce event. “One month out, I feel wonderful,” she told the audience. The McCain campaign declined to resolve the discrepancy.
Wait, wait, here's another great shot of Cindy:
Trying to focus on Giuliani? See? You can't do it! Not with Cindy in the shot! He's totally lost in the vortex of Cindy's enchanting magnetism. Let's learn more about this incredible, classy lady:
Similarly, Mrs. McCain often mentions her travels to Rwanda at the height of the 1994 genocide — she wrote about it in a recent Wall Street Journal opinion piece and has been praised by politicians and newspaper columnists for jetting into the heart of a massacre. As with her other charity trips, participants praised her eagerness to help victims of tragedy. But news accounts and interviews indicate, and a campaign spokesman confirmed, that Mrs. McCain traveled after the genocide had ended, spending time with refugees in neighboring Zaire, now Congo. Asked if she was ever in Rwanda, as Mrs. McCain has stated many times, a campaign spokesman, Jill Hazelbaker, said “she was driven to the Zaire/Rwanda border in order to assess the conditions of the refugees entering the country.”
People are so gotcha-y and nitpicky! Just let Cindy be Cindy, like here:
Ahhh, that's better. It all comes down to being #1:
Whatever stumbles she may have made in telling her story, Mrs. McCain has exhibited the signal trait of the political spouse: a burning desire to win.
Yes! And if McCain had done the right thing, he'd have picked Cindy for his running mate, and that whole "winning" thing wouldn't even be in question. She's got loads more executive experience than that upstart Palin girl, who is barely qualified to hold Cindy's garment bag (She should be so lucky! We should all be so lucky!), after all.
And finally, the NO SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT CINDY rule is still being strictly enforced, because I know the moment I let my guard down, you meanypants will be all over her.