Monday, December 22, 2008

Forbidden Fruit



The above is a photograph of the label on the messenger bag slung over the back of the person in front of me on the escalator as I was exiting the Metro station at Columbia Heights on my way home from work this evening.**

Can you imagine finding that bag or, say, accidentally mugging* the person carrying it and then NOT opening it? OMG, I felt like I was just inches away from, like, totally the best blogging ever.

*Attention DOJ folks: strictly a fanciful jest!

**44-word sentence with no commas! This may be a PSP record.

7 comments:

Johannis der Taucher said...

Yeah, there could be something “sensitive” in there, like a torture memo or five-minute review of a death penalty case, or tricks to keep Cheney and staff out of prison or a war crimes tribunal. Or maybe it’s something “embarrassing” to the Department, on its way to a dumpster. Maybe it was carried by a proud, recent graduate of Messiah College or Regent University Law School—the Christianistic types recruited by that paragon of unctious little attorneys general, Al-BIR-tow Gonzales. Uh, how many more days until the adults take back the Federal Triangle?

Matty Boy said...

I saw both Repo Man and Pulp Fiction and I am sure that the thing inside is shiny.

drew in sf said...

I'm with Matty, PSP. You have discovered your MacGuffin. Just tell me that the courier didn't have a bandaid on the back of his head.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I think the DoJ is screwing with you, Pony.
Who would print such a thing on a bag full of whatever?

dguzman said...

This is more frustrating than knowing that the secrets to alien life are all stored away at Area 51! Dangit!

Anonymous said...

Okay, isn't this just like showing you the big red button and then saying something silly like "don't press"? I mean, c'mon, I would have totally wrestled this poor courier to the ground just so I could have a look in the bag.

Frank_IBC said...

The request reminds me of this:

A nun was on her death bed. She told her Mother Superior that she wanted her tombstone to read 'Going to Heaven the same virgin as when I came to Earth'. Unfortunately, headstone carvers charge by the letter, and the convent could not afford all those words. Instead, the carver simply put "Returned Unopened".