Teabaggers Throw Pro Immigration Law Rally In Arizona

(Photo: Arizona Republic)

Yes, yes, the Tea Partiers™ gathered in Tempe to rally in favor of the new anti-brown-people laws in Arizona and blah, blah, blah, and Joe Arpaio was there, etc., etc. These people are predictable now, and the novelty is wearing thin.

How predictable? When I saw that the Arizona Republic had a slide show of the event, I immediately checked it for "teabonics," that persistent lack of grammatical and spelling skills so constantly exhibited by the beleaguered white protesters, and, well, the result is above.

It's awesome that we can count on all these people to be positive and cooperative when immigration reform legislation is tackled by Congress.  Haw.

Arizona Audioblogging: Meat Puppets Live At The Mason Jar, Phoenix, August 18, 1984

This Meat Puppets show was recorded at the Mason Jar the night after this one. It has better sound quality and is a fantastic performance. There are some technical issues: some "time to turn the tape over" confusion and restarting at the end of part one and the beginning of part two. The second part of the show is tragically marred by a drunk and noisy young lady sitting very near the tape recorder, and at one point she decides to sing a loud, tuneless rendition of "Shine on Harvest Moon" while the Meat Puppets are playing the best version of "Oh Me" I ever heard. Tsk. These things happen. Besides the usual suspects, songs from Meat Puppets II and Up On The Sun, there's an aborted attempt to do the ridiculously intricate "Out in the Gardener" from their first single, and two Elvis covers: "Trouble" and "Suspicious Minds."

I went to this show with my friends Jeff and Sam, on a weekend in Phoenix when the MPs were playing two nights in a row. I specifically remember this night being one of the times they let us pretend to be "roadies" so that we could get in the bar without all of us being old enough*. At the beginning, Chris says, "Check this out: it's a balloon with another balloon blown up inside it," something we had given him before the show. A fun night was had by all!

The two mp3 files are 105mb, and zipped up for download here.

*Looking back on it, were the Meat Puppets contributing to the delinquency of minors? I guess so, but they were a rock band! That was one of their jobs!

UPDATE – Hello and welcome all MP fans. Please to enjoy my humble offerings and amusing anecdote!

This Is Arizona: More Cacti

Photos by A.C. Huestis. Click for bigger!

Arizona Audioblogging: Meat Puppets Live at the Mason Jar, Phoenix, June 8, 1985

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Compared to the last Meat Puppets performance I posted, which was nearly a year earlier, this one is much better sounding, but I still recorded it on a ghetto blaster, so, you know, don't expect King Biscuit quality. This was at the Mason Jar in Phoenix, a place I remember being small and unremarkable. I believe this was the last show of theirs that I saw in Arizona before returning to college in San Diego full-time.

But what a difference a year makes! Like the earlier tape, the MPs are again mostly doing songs from Meat Puppets II and Up on the Sun, but what were new songs then are now very practiced, extremely tight, executed almost perfectly. To be honest, I can't say this is an improvement; I kind of prefer the chaotic qualities of the earlier show. Still, though, their skill is hair-raising here, and it's sometimes hard to believe it's a three-piece. Things get looser towards the end as the band plays ridiculous/awesome versions of "CC Rider" and "Country Road" as well as a superb "Not Fade Away." Halfway through a stodgy cover of "Tennessee Waltz," Curt says, "I hate this song!" and stops playing it. Fun show!

It's in two pieces, and it's over 80-minutes-long! Get the 120mg zipped files here.

PS: I was thrilled that drummer Derrick Bostrom, always the nicest guy, left a comment on the last post. Derrick: several years ago, I offered to send you these tapes. I was too poor at the time, though, and never got around to it. If you still want them, you should email me, because I'd love for you to have them.

How They Do It

Obama was asked recently by the Lamestream Media™ if he supported the boycott of Arizona. Here's what he said:

"I am the President of the United States," Obama said. "I don't endorse boycotts, or not endorse boycotts. That is up to private groups to decide."

Note how Fox Nation (see screenshot above) turned that around into Obama won't condemn AZ boycott.

Clever!

Meanwhile, In Arlington...

Photo: Arl Now

Police are looking for a a 6′2″ transsexual who ran from a South Arlington beauty store with a pilfered wig, hopped into a car and sped off onto Columbia Pike.

Usman Minayar, manager of the Crystal Beauty store on South Edgewood Street, said the suspect tried to stealthily put the $17 ten inch honey blond wig in a purse while her friend, a local stripper, distracted him.

When Minayar saw what was going on, the suspect made a mad dash for the door. He didn’t try to stop her.

“I was a bit scared… [s]he’s a big guy… [s]he might knock me down, you know.”

The suspect was wearing a black shirt, a bandana and “booty shorts” at the time of the theft, Minayar said.

He said he’s confused by the theft because both the transsexual woman and the stripper, a biological female, have bought items at the store before.

This Is Arizona: Cacti

Photos by A.C. Huestis. Click for bigger!

Andrew remarks, "Note the fabulous bees laden with pollen. I wonder if they are africanized bees in need of deportation or if they teach english classes with a heavy accent!"

This one should probably be deported immediately:

OMG, You Guys! Totally Palintastic, Bristolriffic Feature At Harper's Bazaar! PS: Remember Not To Exploit Sarah Palin's Children Like The Lamestream Media, Because That Would Be Wrong

The actual, for-real caption:

Tea Party movement: Bristol at home with son Tripp. Lanvin gown, $4,385. Barneys New York, L.A.; 310-276-4400. Karma El Khalil earrings, $13,750. roseark.com. Giorgio Armani ring, $650. 310-271-5555. Kathy Rose for Roseark bracelet, $13,000. Photo credit: Danielle Levitt.

Folksy!

UPDATE – Excuse me, Harper's, but who is Tripp wearing?

Also – Here I am with sister Willow. We are baking cookies in our gorgeous Carolina Herrera gowns:

UPDATE: Ballyhooed Republican Web Site, One Day Later, Is Totally 100% Comedy Jokeland Now

Oh, americaspeakingout.com, I love you. You've gone from cute morning news story to being an utterly useless (but diverting!) joke in less than a single news cycle. It is currently difficult to find a single "serious" comment on the entire site.

I wonder how much they spent on this totally fun new toy? Lots, I bet. I love it!

UPDATE – This one might be my favorite:

And finally, I tried to submit "The Vs are not our friends," because I am hilarious, but it totally crashed or something.

UPDATE – Friday: It seems like things have calmed down a bit, but it's still pretty troll-y, useless.

OMG Cutest Plague Ever Of Adorable Mini-Frogs!

Tiny frogs swarm on the side of the Egnatia highway in northern Greece, on Wednesday, May 26 2010. Officials closed the key northern highway for two hours near the town of Langadas after what police called "a carpet of frogs" covered the road. Three cars skidded off the highway but no human injuries were reported.Police said the amphibians probably left a nearby lake to look for food. (AP Photo/Aggelioforos, Pavlos Makridis)

Yay for tiny, lovable froglets! Let's see a close-up:

Yay yay yay!

Quickie: Yes, It Really Is Great

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Don't Eat The Reflector

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Random Arizona Anecdote: Teen Design Subversive

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Above is the front cover to my senior year high school yearbook (Tucson High School class of '83!!), and here is the story behind it.

I was on the yearbook staff sophomore, junior and senior year. My brother Andrew had been editor-in-chief his senior year six years earlier, and had also designed the cover, a legacy I coveted. It was between me and Kim, and our adviser, the fantastic Jerry Halfmann, chose Kim to be EiC. I was actually relieved, because I liked Kim and knew she was better cut out for the position. Upon being told, I said, "Oh, that's great! Congratulations, Kim! I get to do the cover, though." To my surprise, everybody just kinda shrugged and said, "Sure, OK."

Like many other punks/artfags/weird people at the time, I was fascinated by Charles Manson (I blame Throbbing Gristle). How great would it be to somehow sneak a subversive Manson reference onto the front cover? I hatched a plan. Later, at an early editorial meeting, the following discussion took place:

Me: I came up with a great theme!
Others: What?
Me: Individuality. We could carry it through easily to all the sections.
Others: Great idea!
Me: And on the cover, a big fingerprint, because what could be more individual than a fingerprint?
Others: Right, um...
Me: And written across it, "Tucsonian '83!"
Others: Awesome!

So I found a photo of a fingerprint, I believe one of the ones from the Tate murder site (Patricia Krenwinkel?), and enlarged it and reinforced/redrew it with ink to make it more graphically appealing (I doubt it would pass muster in court today). I drew the lettering on a separate acetate in a very New Wave splattery style which would be printed in red over the black and white fingerprint... you know, like words written in blood, wheee!

Unfortunately, that's where maybe I went a little too far, because then this conversation took place:

Halfmann: The cover will look great! Oh, we did change one thing, though.
Me: What's that?
Halfmann: We ended up using a brush script for the lettering.
Me: Awww... why?
Halfmann: Somebody thought... and I know this is going to sound crazy, but somebody thought it looked too much like blood.
Me: Oh, oooh, I never thought of that.

Curses! Still, though, I was pleased with the result, and today, brush script has a campy appeal all its own (the "T" is mine). I'm still proud of this very 80s design, and it's always been one of my favorite secret pranks. Most of my classmates liked it just fine, though I heard a little griping about it being too "punk rock." There was some speculation about whose fingerprint it was, but everybody assumed it was a student's, most likely mine.

So anyway, that's how I got a big, bloody fingerprint on the front cover of my high school yearbook.

GOP Creates Troll Wonderland

You've probably already heard about americaspeakingout.com, the house Republicans' new website where they pretend to care about what *you* think. Dana Milbank wrote about it this morning, and you really should read his thing about it, because it's hilarious how proud they are of their creation, one which became overrun with trolls about five seconds after its launch. If you get bored today, and you will at some point, I highly recommend the site for laffs, because it has now become the #1 comedy site on the whole internets, and I bet you'll come up with a suggestion or two yourself. So much fun!

Oh, by the way, if you don't know the reference in the screenshot above, it's probably best that you just leave it alone.

Photoblogging: Food Chain

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Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging Brought To You By The Letter "A"

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Book Shelf: The Beautiful Naturecraft Book, Sterling Publishing, 1979

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Few volumes approach the gorgeousness of the Beautiful Naturecraft Book, a how-to guide which makes a compelling case for making shit out of pine cones, seashells, driftwood and leaves. I suspect the lurid color photography was already old by the time this was published, but what photography! There is so much to say about this sacred text – I'd form a religion around it if I didn't suspect that Amy Sedaris and Todd Oldham already had. Today, though, let's just make do with contemplating some of the more stirring images from the book. Meet your new pantheon:

Amen

Quickie: I'm With Them Two

OK, so let me get this straight so that I can keep up with the Republicans on the oil spill thingee: the Obama administration is bad because they came down too hard on BP, but now BP's poor performance demonstrates that the Obama administration isn't doing enough. So, in other words, Obama is simultaneously too aggressive and too passive. Do I have that right?

In other news, federal regulation is bad because you can always assume "the market" will do the right thing.

I'm ready for Monday!

PS - FYI:

Voters dressed in chicken costumes won't be allowed inside Nevada polling places this year.

Not this year! Oh, but next year it is ON.

Arizona Audioblogging: Meat Puppets Live at Rafters, Tempe, August 17, 1984

What, you want another rare recording of a cult band playing live in Arizona, one which has never been posted to the internet? The Fall wasn't enough? You people are greedy. OK, then, how about the Meat Puppets?

I recorded this show on a Sharp "ghetto blaster" with the MP's permission. Excuse the quality, please? This may have been one of the shows where they let us pretend to be "roadies" so that we could get in (read about this and other Meat Puppets reminiscences here). This was also a weekend when we stayed in Phoenix overnight so that we could see them twice more the next day, and I have vague memories that ordeals were experienced. Yay for obsessive teenage fans!

The show is classic Meat Puppets at their best, between Meat Puppets II and Up on the Sun, with plenty of songs from both. You can tell that they're still working out the kinks in the new songs from the latter. There are also covers, such as "Poke Salad Annie" and "Voodoo Child" and the inevitable random bits of sonic mayhem the band was likely to spin off into at any point during this period.

It's over 70 minutes long (!), in two parts (I didn't break it into songs), and you can download the 101mb zipped archive here.

And if anybody wants more, there's more.

Oh, and Derrick, if you're out there, I hope you don't mind me posting this!

UPDATE: Very little response! Probably not worth digitizing the others.

Arizona Audioblogging: The Fall Live At Tumbleweeds, Tucson, July 1981

You've all been very patient about my ceaseless Arizona reminiscences lately, so here, finally, is a payoff for you: a ridiculously rare "ghetto blaster" recording of The Fall playing live at tiny Tumbleweeds, Tucson's premier dank punk rock venue, in early July of 1981. I can't imagine more than five people have this cassette recording at this point, and I doubt more than twenty people have heard it, period, and before this post it is unknown to the interwebs, so this will be a new one to all you Fall fans out there. In other words, not to be too braggy or anything, THIS IS A TREAT. YOU ARE WELCOME.

The Fall were popular with Tucson punks. The Record Room always carried everything they released. All my high school friends loved them. Isn't that weird? The Fall were big in Tucson. Well, with a small counterculture, at least, but still!

I've heard better live Fall recordings, but I've heard worse. I don't know who recorded this, but I got it from a friend shortly after the show. I can't imagine any Fall fan being disappointed with the version of "Hip Priest." Here's the song list, mostly from Dragnet, Slates, and the unreleased at the time Hex Induction Hour:

1. New Face in Hell
2. 2nd Dark Age
3. Deer Park
4. An Older Lover
5. Leave the Capitol
6. Totally Wired
7. Hip Priest
8. Lie Dream of a Casino Soul
9. C'n'C-s Mithering
10. Printhead (slightly damaged tape)
11. Container Drivers (fragment)

The 67mb zip archive of MP3 files is here.

Enjoy!

Robin Givhan Displays Long-Term Memory Loss

OK, so this Washington Post article is credited on the front page of their website as by Robin Givhan, but when you click through, it says "staff writer," so who knows. But anyway, it's an article about how Elena Kagen dresses badly/blandly because she's in Washington and it's the tradition. But then comes this whopper:

The other men and women who have gone through this process have not been daring in their wardrobe choices either. There hasn't even been a pair of artful eyeglass frames in recent memory.

Robin! How could you forget:

(Reuters Photo, October 3, 2005)

Yes, that's a photo of Harriet Miers going through just that exact same process. And if that eyeliner doesn't compensate for "artful eyeglass frames," then I just shouldn't comment on fashion anymore.

Stop The Press! Well, In This Case There Isn't An Actual "Press," But If There Were, You'd Be Stopping It Right Now

Here's Your Condibook Cover

Yes, Condi! There have been faint stirrings in the Condisphere lately. Nothing very exciting, but hey, what else is new? First up, here is the cover, finally, of her upcoming book:

Bad design! There's just no other way to say it. First, what is that pointless curlicue in the upper right? I'll tell you what it is: graphic designer's dandruff, basically. I also dislike the awkward centering of the text on her father. Really, this design is a flabby mess. Also: it looks like it's going to be upstaged at next week's big book expo by Barbra Steisand's book about how she decorated her houses. Don't worry, Condi, you'll get on Oprah, your book will sell tons of copies and people will even read some of them!

Next! Yesterday, Dr. Ferragamo appeared at some fundraiser for the Boys and Girls Clubs of Alabama, a hometown thing. It was cute because they had junior reporters ask Condi some questions, and just like all reporters since the dawn of time, she replied with trite platitudes ("You have to have a belief there's no limit to what you can do.") and non-answers. Welcome to political journalism, kids!

Some time recently, too, Condi lent a hand recruiting football players for Stanford. Here's a frustrating quote from the article:

Nevertheless, there stood Dr. Condoleezza Rice, speaking to a group of Stanford recruits, tying in the threat of Iran with the decision to come to the Farm, all in the space of one sentence.

I'd like to hear that sentence where she ties the threat of Iran with the decision to "come to the farm," but too bad, because they don't report how, exactly, she did so. Oh well. Good reporting, ESPN!

The article goes on and on, but it's pretty boring. And that, Pony Pals™, I'm sorry to say, is the state of the Condisphere.

The Glomming!

Ha ha, do you know what's funny about Michael Steele when he plays dumb? It's always totally convincing! He's been pretty discreet recently, but he appears to be erupting with his lovable goofy foolishness again, so that's always fun.

OK, so first! First is totally that Rand Paul guy who all the kids are talking about. The crazy one? Right, him. So somebody saw Michael Steele, and they were all, like, "Hey, Michael Steele, what do you think of that Rand Paul guy?" And he was, all, totally, "Oh that, right, I heard about that." And he totally had! Neat.

What else? Maybe I haven't really paid proper respects to the majesty which is Neil Cavuto's hysterically nutty interview with Michael yesterday. Oh, it is a laff riot. My favorite quotes:

STEELE: No, no, no, no. I -- no, Neil, let me be -- I have never...

CAVUTO: Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, there is. You know it.

STEELE: Neil, don’t mix -- please, stop...

CAVUTO: You, you, you, you, you, you, you.

STEELE: We’re not glomming. I mean, why are you taking...

CAVUTO: Last night, you were glomming -- not you specifically -- a lot of glomming to them, and they resented the glomming.

CAVUTO: Michael Steele, always fun.

So good. The glomming! What is Michael Steele going to do about the glomming? Tsk.

Quickie: Ben Nelson Knows About The Holograms

Does Ben Nelson ever seem a little out of touch to you? Well, don't worry, because the man in charge of financial reform has never used an ATM (!!!), but he knows things... things about stuff:

"I could learn how to do it just like I've . . . I swipe to get my own gas, buy groceries," Nelson said, according to the Omaha World-Herald. "I know about the holograms."

Awesome!

Neocon Pretends To Like Rand Paul

Rand Paul gives his victory speech after winning the Senate Republican primary election in Bowling Green, Kentucky, at Bowling Green Country Club May 18, 2010. REUTERS/Jake Stevens

It is hilarious to listen to Bill Kristol telling David Weigel why he doesn't mind Rand Paul by describing him as not being everything he, in fact, is:

"He did a good job of being less like his dad -- seeming less 'out there' -- so if you were a normal Kentucky voter you thought you were voting for a Sarah Palin-like, anti-Washington figure, not someone who bought into the whole Ron Paul agenda."

Well, yes, they may have thought that, but that doesn't make it true, as seeming and being are not synonymous and, in this case, are actually opposites. Fun! Kristol continues:

"But to be fair to Rand Paul, there's a lot of distance between Rand Paul's agenda, which isn't exactly mine, and the caricature of nativism or isolationism."

A caricature of nativism and isolationism? I couldn't have described him better myself.

Chronicles Of Overdesign

(Image via Telegraph UK)

I enthused recently here about China's adorable mascot for their World Expo thingee, and now we have new spokesmodels to contemplate: those for the UK Olympics.

Yes, they are creepy and disturbing, but more importantly, they are a hot mess. This article at the Telegraph shows why: they have been pumped full of just too much meaning. OMG, it's like every part of them is significant, resulting in unholy chimaeras nobody will love.

Less is more, people.

UPDATE - This made me fondly remember bizarro cartoonist Mariscal's wonderful "Cobi" for the Barcelona Olympics.

Don't Deny Yourself The Pleasure Of Watching Neil Cavuto Telling Michael Steele That Everybody Hates Him

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Counterpoint

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Photoblogging: Domes

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Random Nancy Panel

For being a Communist? For having six eyebrows? For being a fairy?

This Photograph Fills Me With Horror

(Lee Clower, NY Times)

Ew. I can't stand Tommy Hilfiger's awful clothing. Look at those three guys: this is how American men dress. Unfortunately. Gross. And if they're not wearing that, they're wearing unsightly jeans* with logo-festooned jerseys.

"When did Tommy Hilfiger become cool again?" wonders the New York Times. He didn't, I respond, and that's why he's successful.

And his horrible, ugly brand just sold for over a billion dollars. The end.

*Clarification: I'm certainly not saying that ALL jeans are unsightly. I'm not George Will.

Not Really Full Of Sound And Fury, Still Signifying Nothing

You guys, OMG, anti-incumbent fever! Did you catch it? Do you need a Kleenex™?

So... yeah, a few elections yesterday. And everywhere around the web this morning I'm seeing articles (like this) that are basically talking about how, oh, these elections tell us what's going to happen later this year. But do they? Look, the two story lines we've been seeing are that 1. Democrats are in trouble and 2. incumbents are in trouble. But what do yesterday's races really tell us? First of all, there was one straightforward election, the Pennsylvania one, and the Democrat won! This tells us nothing about incumbents. Then we've got Specter losing, sure, but he's hardly typical, a party-switcher rejected for a real Democrat. Blanche Lincoln has to go to a runoff, but she isn't typical either.

And then there's Rand Paul, haw. OK, so he beat Grayson, who is supposed to represent "the establishment." But Paul is the son of a sitting Republican representative! And the Paul phenomenon is freakish, I'm sorry, so it's dumb to draw conclusions from this one.

Here's my favorite reaction, though, and this is where the puppy up top comes in: Michael Steele has issued a very hurty statement about how sad he is about the Pennsylvania election. So bitter:

“While we had hoped for a better result, Republican Tim Burns ran an excellent campaign in one of the bluest of congressional districts. Despite the fact that Pennsylvania’s 12th district has been a Democratic stronghold for more than thirty years and Democratic voters outnumber Republicans by more than 2 to 1, Republican Tim Burns pushed his Democratic opponent to the wire by campaigning against the liberal agenda of national Democrats. Democrat Mark Critz sought to distance himself from virtually every major issue on the Democrats’ unpopular legislative agenda. Now he’s headed to Washington, D.C., to join President Obama and Nancy Pelosi in passing more bailouts, more “stimulus” packages and more reckless government expansions – the very policies that prevent southwestern Pennsylvania from achieving the economic recovery they deserve. This race should serve notice to Democratic officeholders everywhere that no seat is safe and that voters will not accept business-as-usual.”

Tim Burns ran an excellent campaign? Evidence suggests otherwise.

So anyway, enjoy reading all day about what these over-hyped elections mean, even if they don't mean anything. Yay!

UPDATE - Here's a screenshot from the Washington Post:

So there you go: one incumbent losing = a fever.

Photoblogging: Uniform Fetish

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These images come from a trailer at the same event as the violent Blackhawk bus I posted yesterday. I think it was for the National Guard? Like the bus, this was expensively produced, and almost comically arch in content. Here are your heroes:

This Is Arizona: Cactitalia

Photos by A.C. Huestis. Click for bigger, spinier.