Richard Cohen Supergenius

I saw the new Washington Post Richard Cohen headline, "Time for Arabs to reject anti-Semitism," and just knew it was going to be great. First step: make mildly amusing Richard Cohen photoshopped comedy joke picture. Next step... ugh... do I really have to read the thing to continue? Tsk, OK, hang on...

...I'm back. I read it. It turns out that the Arab world is full of the anti-Semitism! Reading Richard Cohen is always totally informative.

Mean Ghadafi Impersonations & Caricatures Roundup!

(AFP)

Now you know that there is such a thing as a Moammar Gadhafi* drag queen. 

(AP)

(Reuters)

These are disturbing, and not least because of the way the Star of David is used as defacement.

(Reuters)

Remember the Middle Eastern Shoe Art Renaissance? Shoe imagery is still potent in the Muslim world.

(Reuters)

I like this one of Daffy as Nero:

(Reuters)

But I really love this cute rat:

(Getty Images)

Great caricature, but maybe not quite mean enough:

(Getty Images)

*Don't forget to have fun and be creative with the spelling each time you write about Khadoffee.

From Rummy 2 Condi

PSP flashback to June 13, 2006

So much Condi lately! Yay! Just the other day I laughed when the erstwhile spokesmodel of state claimed to be "friends" with Donald Rumsfeld, when all of us Pony Pals™ knew that to be utterly false (see above and here, for instance). And now we have a new treat, a cache of FOIAed emails from Rummy to or about Condi, expertly presented at Esquire, of all places, by Peter Nelson. Oh, they are really good, really mean, and really funny because they are just hilariously passive-aggressive. My favorite, to Stephen Hadley:

I think we better get some talking points on what Condi thinks she meant when she said we have made "thousands of tactical errors."

Ha ha ha: what Condi thinks she meant. I just love that. Even better:

I don't have any idea what she is talking about...

Join the club, Rummy! Was he forgetting that nobody ever, ever knew what Condoleezza Rice was talking about for, like, the entirety of the Bush Administration? It was the secret to her success!

Quickie: "C Word" In The News

PSP Flashback to 09-15-08

Haw, everybody always loves it when I feature the word "cunt" in my posts, particularly when combined with Sarah Palin, so here we go again! Actually, this time I'm not generating it; it's a collusion between Media Matters and one of Andrew Breitbart's terrible sites. But anyway, enjoy, because this is really funny.

Tucson Wants To Secede From Arizona, Obviously

Ha, ha, this won't go anywhere, but it's nice to see: Pima County, Arizona (otherwise known as "the Tucson sprawl"), would very much like to sever its ties to the rest of the state, the crazy part ruled by Phoenix. Not a bad idea! After all, as this article points out, the area is larger than Delaware or Connecticut, and has more people than Wyoming, Vermont, or Montana (among others), so why not? Oh sure, this idea has been floated before, but you guys, this time they're serious! The new state would be called "Baja Arizona" (why not "Pima Arizona"?) and its chief export would be, I suppose, liberal Baja Arizonans.

Universe Awaits Meeting Of Sarah Palin And Germaine Greer

This is pretty exciting! Yes, everybody is reporting that Sarah Palin will travel to India (!) next month to attend some tiresome sounding confab. She'll be presenting "My Vision of America" as the keynote address for the event's closing dinner. Should be fun! Supposedly people will be allowed to ask her questions, so this could actually be really interesting.

But really, why is she going to this thing? Mostly to pose for photographs with little brown babies, I'm guessing. But the really intriguing part, the under-reported part, is that fabulous Germaine Greer will be at the same event on the same day! Remember, Sarah likes to call herself a feminist, so it's hard to imagine Greer missing the opportunity for a confrontation with the Mama Grizzly. Oh! To be a fly on that wall!

Better yet, this has all the makings of something great. Remember in the 80s when "body switch" comedies became all the rage? Now just picture that scenario applied to Palin and Greer! Wow, that's box office gold.

Condi Now Just Doing Matching Armchairs Photo-Ops With Any Old Bedazzled Society Matron

(Photo: The Desert Sun)

So there you go, our first matching armchairs shot in quite a while, and it is a bummer. Condi got an award for her years of dedication to the piano at this society to-do in horrible, horrible Rancho Mirage, California. Have you ever been to places like Rancho Mirage or Palm Springs? Uck.

And is Condi wearing a gigantic leftover Christmas tree skirt?

Condi Opens Up (Not Really)

(Photo: pepperdine-graphic.com)

I guess I'd say the number one way my life has changed since the curtain closed on the Bush administration is the way I can go hours, days, even weeks without ever once thinking about Condoleezza Rice. And then I notice something, like yesterday when she wrote her profoundly brainless op-ed in the Washington Post about Egypt, and then I remember about Condi all over again. Oh Condi. Even in today's age of Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin, you remain one of the most peculiar political concoctions of all time.

So anyway! When I remember about Dr. Ferragamo, I get to Googling and hey, this looks promising, an article in the Pepperdine newspaper about Condi speaking at their weird, Christian-ish university last week. The headline is so promising: Condoleezza Rice opens up about life after Washington. True to form, however, she does no such thing. For instance, see if this sounds familiar, that her discussion ranged "from the current situation in Egypt to her roots as the daughter of a Presbyterian minister growing up in Birmingham, Ala." Oh really? How fascinating, because she's never once told any of those stories about being the daughter of a Presbyterian minister growing up in Birmingham, Alabama before. Not once. More like a zillion times to whomever will listen.

Ahem! So, right, no, there's no "opening up" (ew.) going on here, but the event seems to have not been without its charms! Condi's most revealing statement is when she answers a question about Egypt with another question. Now this is usually a tried and true strategy Condi often employs to avoid making statements, but in this case she miscalculated and revealed her opinions by mistake: ""Which should we be supporting: stability for us or freedom for the Egyptian people?" It's one or the other, people, it can't be both!

And then just for cheap laffs, she delivered this howler:

She also addressed the touchy topic of WMDs in Iraq, explaining, "I think we knew really at the end of summer, beginning of the fall, 2003, that we weren't finding them, and something had gone wrong," she said. "I, like I think everybody in the administration, was floored,"

OMG, they were so surprised and bummed! And then this, Condi's supposedly funny-on-purpose side:

Though she spent some time addressing serious topics, she also expressed a humorous side as well.

Commenting on Iran, she joked, "I'd love to think there was a responsible Iran hiding in the clothes of Ahmadinejad."

Ha... ha? Why am I not laughing at this joke which doesn't make any sense? Oh, right. OK, so then finally Condi tells her biggest lie in ages when she says she's really friends with Donald Rumsfeld and not at all miffed that he trashed her in his book and Condi, really, please. I mean, LOL.

And then at the end of the article, my favorite part, a student enthuses about Condi's visit, claiming that "I liked hearing that we should not let circumstances, but rather the decisions we make, define us."

How meaningful!

Insightful Analysis

PSP FLASHBACK to March 4, 2008 (AP Photo)

Condi? Remember her? OK, so she wrote an op-ed piece for the Washington Post today, all about the Egypts! Oh, it's boring; you don't want to read the whole thing. But I read it for you, so I can report that Condi's hard-hitting analysis of the future of Egypt is this: I dunno. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Girl still throwing down the home truths. Our Condi hasn't lost her ability to use just, oh, oodles of words to say hardly anything at all.

Here's a reminder of Condi's skillful handling of Egyptian diplomacy.

Palin News Abhors A Vacuum

God, it is so much fun writing about Sarah Palin! Everybody has new and fresh insights about the Mama Grizzly. I am right now, this very second, writing a sentence about Sarah Palin! And now I'm writing another sentence about Sarah Palin! Have you heard of this woman? No? She's from Alaska, and she... well, wait, no. Why don't you go and read this stunningly pointless Associated Press "the story so far" article, just posted minutes ago, and catch up. It turns out she's pretty interesting! Why aren't more people hopping on the bandwagon and writing about this Sarah Palin lady?

The PFJ Versus The JPF

I don't really have much to say about this, but I just thought you should know that since CPAC, the Young Americans for Liberty are feuding with the Young Americans for Freedom.

Next They Moved The Reagan Cake Under A Specially Made Table...

(Pic via David Weigel)

...with a hole cut in the center so that only the head of the Reagan Cake appeared in the middle of the table. With great ceremony, the hat was lifted off the Cake Reagan, revealing a glistening, realistic brain. The 2012 GOP presidential aspirants were then gathered around the table and invited to eat Reagan's brain, which they did with gusto. The ingredients were later revealed to be "mostly inert ingredients with red food coloring and OxyContin."

Washington Post Crowd-Sources Fact Checking

Aw, it's kind of cute that the Washington Post has announced a spiffy new online correction form. Pity the poor Post staffer who has to sift through this stuff!

Real Food: Carvel Delivery Truck

Click for larger, quite a bit worser.

One of these days, when I have enough photos in the "Real Food" series, I'm going to compile them into a book and OMG, it will be the worst photography book EVER. I can't wait.

Book Shelf: 16 Magazine Vol. 13 #11, April 1972, Part Three

Click any page for bigger.

OK, whoops, sorry that took so long, but I had internet issues, so no go. But let's continue with our superfab exploration of the 1972 teen-scream 16 scene! Once again, we've got some real obscurities on the page above, left. Lawrence Douglas starred in my favorite version of Kidnapped, had a busy career for a while, and then, in the 80s... what happened? I have no idea. As for Scott Jacoby, there are a few on IMDB, but I can't figure out which one is shown here, and there's no entry for the named series. So much for him. Michael McGreevey, on the other hand, never stopped working. He started as a tiny tot actor, was employed steadily throughout the 70s, and then successfully made the transition to behind the camera as a prolific writer, director and producer, so well done, Michael, because you did what all these other teen sensations weren't able to do.

Below, must we sing along with the Osmonds? Really, must we? Let's not and not say we did, either. God, but I hated the Osmonds when I was young (if you haven't figured that out already). They oozed wholesomeness, which I learned to dislike early on, and their style always seemed so variety show (duh) and, I don't know, like a holdover from Vaudeville or something. Gross:

Below, can you guess the teen idol by their legs? Hint: they're all actually male. OK, another hint: one of them is an Osmond, and one of them is a David Cassidy.

Below, oh jeez, an interview with David Cassidy. And once again he's talking about how great he is, unlike other teen idols, who he delights in cutting down. He must have been really hated by all his peers. And honestly, he deserved it, and continues to deserve it to this day. David, David, David, always talking about how much better than the Partridge Family you are, and then titling you biography C'mon Get Happy (I recommend the book, but you will despise him by the end) and singing "I Think I Love You" every chance you get. You can't have it both ways, Cassidy.

OK, another Osmond. I'm sorry, this is kind of a sucky issue, isn't it? Oops. Anyway, Merrill sticks so closely to the 16 script ("Selfish and unkind people turn me off"), and the handwriting is so suspiciously girly, I have a hard time believing this isn't totally faked:

Below, this is actually hilarious, the token Bobby Sherman article. "Of course, Bobby has had many serious romances over the years, but he's never hidden anything from you. Whenever Bobby had something to say to you, he says it. And you've had no reason to doubt him. Although there are many rumors in circulation right now about a possible Bobby Sherman/Patti Carnel secret marriage, you know –from reading 16 and SPEC– that if it were true, Bobby would have told you." Naturally, this is unmitigated bullshit, because Bobby 'n' Patti had been married for over a year by this time. Haw:

More of Merrill's fake answers to dumb questions:

Below, the magazine actually encourages its impressionable readers to send birthday gifts to their fave stars c/o their studios. I wonder what they did with all the crap they got? And on the right, a hard-hitting astrological analysis of an Osmond and a Jackson:

Next up, tiny (yet perfectly formed) Mitch Vogel, the "Cousin Oliver" from Bonanza, goes on the Dating Game. Mitch worked a TON in the 70s (he was in the fantastic Born Innocent with Linda Blair!), and then *poof* his career vanished just like that. I hope he invested his money wisely. On the right, an ad for 16's Loving Fashions magazine. I'm kind of tempted to pick up a copy to post here:

The "next issue" page, including a surprising typo (I'll credit 16 for almost never having grammatical errors; Gloria Stavers was reportedly fanatical about them), and a particularly toothy pic of dreamy Donny:

You shouldn't be at all surprised that David is on the inside back cover. He really has that pout down, doesn't he? Eat you heart out Victoria Beckham:

And that's that! I do have one more copy of 16, from 1974, and it's a pretty good issue (Linda Blair! Tony Orlando!), but I'm going to give it a rest for a while, because for one thing, I've already made too many trips to the well, and also because scanning a 60-page magazine is so time consuming that it prevents me from blogging about anything else. Plus, if I see another Osmond I'll totally barf. So maybe later this year?

Here's part one and part two. Here is the 1977 issue of Tiger Beat, and here is the 1970 issue of 16.

Book Shelf: 16 Magazine Vol. 13 #11, Part Two

Teen idol fever! Do you have it? Did you ever? Curious, I roamed around and asked some of my female coworkers this very question, and also asked if they had ever subscribed to 16 or Tiger Beat.  The results were predictable: some just were never into it, while several claimed, disingenuously, that "Well, I didn't have any teen mags, but my sister/cousin/friend had lots of them." C'mon, ladies, fess up! My favorite response was from our curator of French paintings, who enthusiastically gushed, "Oh, yes! I looooooved Leif Garrett!" Others expressed their preferences: David Cassidy (obv), the Dave Clark Five (older staff member!), the Monkees, etc. One even thrilled me by saying she had a crush on Jack Wild! When she said, "I wonder whatever happened to him?" I quickly changed the subject, hoping she wouldn't Google him later. Depressing! Anyway, let's continue with this fab ish of 16. First up, OMG, Osmond's Funtime Clubhouse! Thrill at the wonder of it all as the Osmonds criss-cross the globe with their terrible, dreary, Vegasy cabaret act:

Click any page for dreamy biggerness IF you can handle it.

Jackson time! What do they carry in their pockets? Wouldn't you like to know? Now you can:

Hmmm... are you dissatisfied yet? Yeah, me too. Jermaine has a rock collection? Sorry, I'm not buying it. I kept hoping that one of them would claim to have a whole roll of quarters in their pocket, but no luck. Below, right, Michael coquettishly asks, "Want to know all of my bad, black and beautiful secrets – and find out what my brothers are hiding too?" YES MICHAEL, VERY MUCH:

This issue's microgossip column features Susan Dey and a whole bunch of people you've never heard of. The movie Susan's in is the ultra-campy Skyjacked, which I definitely recommend for fans of bad Charlton Heston movies. Mark Gruner never amounted to much in the entertainment industry, but Kris Tabori (Invasion of the Body Snatchers director Don Siegel's son) ended up as a busy character actor and TV director.  Once again, Wes Stern makes an appearance, mortifyingly described as acting in McDonald's commercials:

Up next is just about the saddest thing I've ever seen in one of these teen mags, an article about the death by suicide of heartthrob Pete Duel. If you're not familiar with him, rest assured that plenty of people still carry a torch for the tragic actor:

I'm surprised by the relative lack of Brady Bunch stuff in this magazine. I suspect it was a studio thing, in that 16 seemed to have a relationship with Columbia Pictures, but perhaps not with Paramount. They were all over Tiger Beat, so maybe that's why Gloria Stavers shunned them. In any event, the light Brady coverage is more than made up for below, with the lyrics to their most awesome song, Time to Change:

OK, look, the spread below is where the exciting Osmonds/Jacksons poster is stapled in. I considered posting it here, but the effort in scanning it piecemeal and laboriously stitching it together just isn't worth it. So enjoy the cartoon below where the girl doesn't realize that the boy likes her not because she loves dogs, but because she's tied up:

I bet you got excited about the whole "Osmond wedding" thing teased on the cover, didn't you? Sadly, it's one of the dud Osmonds, Tommy. The only somewhat funny thing is when Lyn Osmond talks about how marriage is forever to Mormons... one spouse for life! Later, of course, they divorced:

The boring wedding saga continues. She talks about how she wants to have "ten little Osmonds," but she only ended up having five (underachiever). On the right, I love the utterly psychotic drawing of Donny:

Susan Dey! With advice for you! Basically, Susan would like you to stop constantly picking and scratching and biting yourself:

TV and movie gossip about flop shows that nobody over 14 watched are up next. OK, let's hit IMDB and find out if any of these people made good. Brandon Cruz was the kid on The Courtship of Eddie's Father and was later a member of the Dead Kennedys (!!) Sam Austin is a total mystery; he doesn't seem to be any of the Sam Austins on IMDB. Barry Evans seemed to have a decent career on UK television. Elsewhere we've got young Jan-Michael Vincent and Vincent Van Patten, both constantly busy as ever. Adorable Philip Frame's acting activities, however, seem to have stopped the moment this column was published:

Whew! This teen idolizing is exhausting! Coming up next in part three, the rest of the magazine, includin, would you believe, more David Cassidy, a special focus piece on Marlon Osmond (what's he REALLY like?), and Bonanza's annoying orphan, Mitch Vogel, on the Dating Game. Dreamy!

Part one is here.