I Don't Think the Flip is Going to be Back Anytime Soon

Unaltered photo via Yahoo News/Reuters.

Office Space

Caught in the act: Thanks to Pony Pal™ Uncle Splatty, we can see my alter-ego demonstrating advanced hairdo concepts to an only partially receptive audience:

Is it a Wig?

Here's Condi from just 9 minutes ago:

Seriously, where did all that hair come from all of a sudden?

Catching Up

OK, so I was lazy all weekend, and there was little to mock in the news. This morning I was thinking about Jeff Gannon, though, wondering if his media bubble had burst yet.

Well, yes and no. Greg Beato at Wonkette kinda beat me to it this morning by reporting that Jim/Jeff will be appearing tonight on PaxTv's Lie Detector show, but don't think it'll be worth watching. If you go to their web site, you'll see the following:

Was “Jeff Ganon” [sic] fed questions by the Bush administration to use as talking points at White House briefings or just a man trying to overcome his past and pursue a career as a journalist?

So here's how to read between those lines: Jeff, presumably, will take the lie detector test to answer the question "Were you hired by the White House to ask easy questions?" Um, who cares? Only the most hardened conspiracy theorists really believed that to start with. Don't expect Lie Detector to ask Jim/Jeff if he used to be a hooker, because they won't, and even if they did, Gannon/Guckert would simply not answer the question.

And there's Jeffy's problem: The only questions anybody cares about are the ones he won't/can't answer. Take a look at this odd "whatever happened to" article in the... um... Montgomery County Sentinal (remember when, in the heady early days of the scandal, any interview with him was major news?). Notice that Jeff/Jim says, "There is a very good chance I will write a book and it will contain the type of subject matter many are speculating about." Let me re-interpret that sentence for you: Jeff doesn't have a book deal yet. And is it any wonder? What publisher would be interested in a Gannon book which won't discuss his hustler past? What reader would? What would the book be about, if not that?

Let's repeat an obvious fact that everybody seems to forget when interviewing Jeff: He has to wait until the statute of limitations expires before he can talk about being a hooker. That means we've got, what, five-to-seven years for him to really tell all?

Let's face it, in 5-7 years, nobody is going to give a damn about Jeff Gannon.

This Post Brought to You by Blockbuster

Arnold Schwarzenegger proves that you can take the boy out of Hollywood, but you can't take the Hollywood out of the boy. See if you can spot any of his big donors in this screenshot from his latest ad:

No, not the people, silly! Give up? Here, let me help:

Yes! Paid product placements in a political ad! Those outlined in orange belong to Pepsi, and those outlined in blue belong to Nestle, both of whom "donated" over $250,000 to Schwarzenegger's office.

I like product placements in movies; they can turn an otherwise dull picture into a scavenger hunt-of-sorts. Next time you get bored during a Hollywood romantic comedy, try playing a game of product placement bingo. But a lot of people aren't too happy about having placements in a political ad. I think it's neat, though. I can't wait for the Swift Boat Veterans for Verizon!

Hauntingly Lifelike

Enthusiastic hooves up, and glitter a-flyin' for Pony Pal™ Rudi, who came up with this animated gif which covers the entire range of Condaleezza's facial expressions:

See more of his incredibly impressive Photoshop work here.

America Gets the Villains it Hoped For

Two items via Raw Story:
Robbers wear Darth Vader masks.
Flasher wears Darth Vader costume.

Another MASSIVE Condi hairdo alert! OMG! Breaking!

From your up-to-the-minute source for Condi hairdo news, I'm still reeling from this shocking new coiffure escapade:

You have to admit, this is the kind of violent shift we've all been either hoping for, or dreading, depending on the character of your particular Condi hair obsession. Side view:

Clearly, Dr. Rice is on a mad, manic quest for new headgear options. Let's all pray for her, OK?
You'll have to pardon me, but I'm still a little woozy from all this.

EDIT: Pony Pal™ Julee, in the comments, wonders if these photos are real, or something I whipped up with, for instance, leftover Jackie O pics. They're real! Thrillingly real!

Coming Soon: Pepsi™ Presents The New York Times

This is unbelievably shocking:

The above picture, from whatevs dot org, shows boxes for Detroits two major papers yesterday. On the left is the News, owned by Gannett, and on the right is the Free Press, owned by Gannett's competitor, Knight-Rider. Did they both just happen to stumble upon the same wire photo and use it for their front page? Why, no! They both just happened to sell their front pages to Marshall Fields on the same day.

That's right! Both major Detroit papers featured a full-page ad for a department store on the front page. You know, page A-1. Not the back page. The front page. Full-page ad.

DeLay Hopes Larger Lapel Accessories Will Distract from Ethics Woes

Unaltered photo via Reuters.

My Little Condi

Finally! Uncle Splatty brings "Sparkle Pony" and "Condoleezza" together into one magnificent package:

Uncle Splatty explains:

Here's Lil' Georgie and his favorite pony. Some folks thought that Colin or Dicky pony might be his favorite. Or even Donny. But Donny doesn't have golden, sparkly wheat colored hair, or glittering ear bobs. No, it has to be his favorite trotter, Condi the Wise. Just look how happy Lil' Georgie is. He's almost ready to pee himself. And you can tell he's rarin' to go! With Condi pony beneath his chaps, there's nothing he can't do. Why, he could make friends all over the world if he wanted to. Well, maybe not with the Arabian horsies, but all the other horsies!

Florida Terrorized by Fake Peepee

“Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape,” said Lee County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante.

“They wrote ‘Happy Father’s Day’ on the duct tape.”

Read more about it here.

Condi Hairdo Status Report: Flip Flopper

Now you see it, now you don't! Condi's playing a coy little game with us Flip-Watchers™. Today, it's back to a slightly less shellacked, somewhat looser version of her daring coiffure innovation from last week:

Maybe she was feeling a little wild because, after all, it's not every day you get to have a lunch date (no, really!) with a real, live rock star:

Now I don't know what to expect. Are extensions looming ever closer? Personally, I'd like to see her try a looser, Alfre Woodard-inspired 'do.

UPDATE: Here's Columbia Journalism Review on the idiotic "news coverage" of the Carl's Jr./Parents Television Council dustup.

Dominatrix Bear too Hot for Switzerland

Read about it here. Favorite quote:

"This bear is perverse, dominatrix and hardcore. We had to ban it because of the children," Beat Seeberger-Quin, the project's art director, told Reuters.

"Get a Life."

Yes, that's a real quote from Andy Puzder, CEO of Carl's Jr., in response to the Parents Television Council, the wacky Christian nutjobs who just launched a ridiculous attack on their sexy hamburger ads.

And ironic, too, since Carl's Jr. founder Carl Karcher used to be known as a friendly moneybags to various right-wing causes, especially anti-abortion ones. Karcher is no longer involved with running the company, but even so, it must be extra-galling for the PTC to be told to "get a life" by a company which used to be so closely allied with their types.

And, naturally, this is because corporate America knows that sex will always sell, and even the most hysterically Hannitized Republican frat boy isn't going to argue that point. This is yet another case of one of these companies (like Microsoft, recently) getting just a little... over... these pesky fundamentalist 'watchdogs' nipping at their heels.

Get a life, indeed!

The once frolicsome fundies are having a tough month, aren't they?

Wheee!

Goin' My Way?

Here's Senator Frist, on his way to his next legislative triumph:

And because it's really, really fun to watch the Republicans get all huffy, here's a fascinating poll at World News Daily.

Crooks and Liars has a wonderful, encyclopedic look at GOP dismay.

Attention Media: Please Use the Word "Fizzles" in Your Headlines

It's fun to gloat sometimes, isn't it? Oh, c'mon, admit it! Just this once.

Some people are very mad about the deal which just (temporarily, probably) defused, peed on the fuse of the "nuclear option." Enjoy their suffering, clothes-rending and name-slinging par excellence here, there and everywhere at Free Republic.

Updates, more fun Freeper threads: Here's a whole forum dedicated to reflecting the wingnuts' seething hatred of John McCain, and one dedicated to being disappointed with Frist.

Frist is, of course, the total, complete loser in this deal. His presidential ambitions suddenly seem quaint, and his stern puppetmaster is upset.

Sometimes I Just Crack Myself Up

Laura visited the Egyptian Muppets today, among other important officials. Also, and just bear with me here... what if Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird had a secret love affair resulting on a monsterous, bastard child? That would be pretty scandalous, right? Well, they'd probably ship it off to some distant Muppet settlement to cover up the whole thing, right? Some distant Muppet settlement like the one in Egypt, perhaps?

Condi Hairdo Status Report: The Flip is Back!

OK, so we were all just a little excited, weren't we? I guess the flip was never cut off, it was merely pasted in place... or stapled, or something. But as you can see from today's photo below, the flip, Christlike, has risen again:

Also, see Condi smiling? See her friend Hamid Karzai smiling? You can't tell here, but she's just about to tell him, essentially, to fuck off.

Today's Fun Time Waster

The fine folks at whitehouse.org are... um... proud to present Edukating Miss Beazley, a fun flash game in which the amiable Scottish Terrier tears Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi to shreds. Wheee!

But We Already Knew Lucas was Evil!

The creators of the above graphic have a highly entertaining web page all about the evil that is the Star Wars series. Yes, it's another entertaining example of how hard it is to tell the difference between a real fundamentalist Christian web site and an elaborate parody. This says more about the spiraling wackiness of the real nutjobs than about the skill of the parodists.

HUGE Condi Hairdo News, and I'm a Day Late Because I was Ranting about Star Wars

OMGOMGOMG! Are you seeing what Barham Salih, Minister of Planning of Iraq was seeing earlier today?

That's right... the day we've all been dreading has come. Here's another view:

The flip... is... gone!

And imagine the deep shame I felt when I looked back to yesterday's wire photos, and there it was (or wasn't, rather) again:

I had missed it for a whole day! Going back two days to the 18th, here's the last known photo of the intact flip:

That means sometime late Wednesday or early Thursday, Condi marched into the salon and barked, "It's time! The flip's history!" So there you have it: I'm a day late on MAJOR Condi hairdo news... but still first.

Who Here Likes Puppies?

So Ricky Santorum has been in the news a lot again lately, and it's always bad, isn't it? Yesterday, Mr. Santorum got a lot of people riled up by comparing Democrats to Hitler... so riled up, as a matter of fact, that the media totally forgot all about his other scheduled event for the day: Posing for photographs with puppies.

Rick Santorum posing with puppies! I assume this has to do with his only non-sleazy cause, cracking down on dog fighting with Arlen Specter (an admirable effort! See, I'm complimenting him!). He must have been so mad that none of the wire services picked up the pictures! I was mad, too, because who doesn't like looking at pictures of puppies? And I will verify right now that I would be more likely to look at a picture of Rick Santorum if at least one puppy were included. In fact, it might help his dismal, plummeting approval ratings back home if he appears with puppies at all times from now on.

So... no AP/Reuters/AFP photos of the Santorum/puppy conflagration are available online. I'll have to fill the gap. So here you are:

Hmmm... I'm not sure that works. Plus, now I'm afraid the puppy is going to sue for defamation of character.

BREAKING NEWS!!! There's a New Star Wars Movie Opening!

Enough with the "news" reporting on the new Star Wars movie! I keep expecting to hear a breathless newsbunny exclaim, "This just in: Star Wars Episode 3 is still opening tonight!"

It's amazing to realize that Lucasfilms and Fox could have spent zero --$0!-- on advertising as every TV "news" program (even Bob Shieffer!) falls over itself rushing to get hard-hitting, exclusive, unvarnished footage of geeks standing in line at the multiplex.

Over the next week, I look forward to important updates concerning the product's grosses. I know I can rely on all the DC network affiliates to compete for the inevitable scoop: "This just in! The Star Wars movie was really successful!"

UPDATE: I'm watching (right now! OMG, live blogging!) the News Hour on PBS, and they have an incredible report about the film. They revealed that even though it's the sixth film made, it's actually the third film in the series! The reporter also reminded us that the original films were hugely popular, and that the new one is hotly anticipated. They also had on Steven Hunter of the Washington Post, possibly the worst film reviewer on the planet, to clarify some important points, namely that the films are, in fact, important entertainment events, ones which other studios even imitated! Hunter further opined that the original Star Wars films were noted for their special effects. In his most fascinating analysis, he posited that incredibly popular films like Star Wars "bring lots of people together." Mr. Hunter! It's true! I've personally witnessed large groups of people actually gathering together in movie theaters just to watch Star Wars movies! It's a sociological phenomenon!
I'm so glad they devote so many resources to covering this important, edgy story.

Special Message for Grant T. Turner III

Grant:

Isn't is embarrassing that your mother is bragging, in a front page story in the Washington Post, about how she's raised you and your brothers and sisters in a idealogical cave, and that she succeeded in blocking your school's sex education program?

I think it's great, though, that ol' Moms isn't totally bigoted and hateful. Here's my favorite part of the article:

She added, "I will admit there could be a possibility" that in rare instances, people are born homosexual -- such as a cousin of hers.

"He's gay, and he's a great guy," she said. "He's a hairdresser. He's very artistic, very good at what he does, men's and women's hair. Fabulous decorator. And I remember playing together when we were young. . . . My brother was always into trucks and guns, knives and swords. . . . Steve was much quieter. He was much happier hanging out with the girls."

Emphasis added for that dramatic Sparkle Pony effect.

Oh, and one more thing, Grant: Enjoy your freshman year at Brigham Young University! You'll be safe there. After all, nobody ever rebells at BYU! Also, beer bongs look like a lot of fun, but they'll totally mess you up, so take it slow at first. :)

Smells Like Wonk Spirit?

Once again, I turn my back for a second and the satire just starts writing itself. This story involves both makeup and politics, so I am so there!

Cosmetics giant Aveda has introduced a perfume to commemorate DC Mayor Tony Williams, a man with whom I will always associate the phrase dour technocrat. It's called Bow Tie. I'm not making this up. Created for the opening of a new store in the District, Aveda claims the new odor, a blend of jasmine and citrus oils, reflects Williams' "busy, active lifestyle." (See below.)

Hmmm... I think I would have made it smell like dusty paperclips, displaced strip clubs*, and Baltimore Orioles owner Peter Angelos' ass.

*Trust me, if you're a hairdresser living in the District, this joke is hilarious.

Uh-Oh, I'm Confused Again

So here's an unaltered news photo which has been used everywhere lately:

Am I the only person who doesn't get it? These are Muslims in India protesting the latest American press debacle. These two guys seem to be pals, and their beautiful hand-lettered signs appear to have been made by the same person. Sooo... Newsweek should be banned because... wait, why? Because they "lied" about the Quran being desecrated? OK, and Bush should apologize why? Because Newsweek didn't lie and the Quran was desecrated? Am I misinterpreting something here?

Everybody Wants to be a Hairdresser

I love hearing from Pony Pals™, especially when they want to do Condoleezza's hair. Here's a new vision for a sultry, 1980s-erotic-thriller-style Condi courtesy of John at the misleadingly-titled (but nevertheless entertaining) Onanism Today:

She looks like she's about to make an indecent proposal to Mike Douglas, doesn't she?

Bravo, John!

Hey, John!

Yeah, you, from down Houston way, By the Bayou John:

What's with the pistol-packin' toddlers in Austin?

Black Hole

Think Progress is keeping close tabs on the filibuster debate in the Senate, as you would imagine. They're a good place to bookmark for one-stop-shopping on this matter.

I loved this sentence uttered by Bill Frist, which they've saved for posterity. It's a sentence so dense, so senseless, so packed full 'o' crap, that light itself cannot even escape:

The president, the um, in response, uh, the Paez nomination - we'll come back and discuss this further. Actually I'd like to, and it really brings to what I believe - a point - and it really brings to, oddly, a point, what is the issue. The issue is we have leadership-led partisan filibusters that have, um, obstructed, not one nominee, but two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, in a routine way.

Whoah! Did you catch all that?

Let me back up a little: I strongly recommend Think Progress (link always in the right column), which is the blog of the lefty/pinko/commie American Progress Action Fund (read: liberal think tank). They have a way of illuminating issues in an EZ to comprehend, ultra-concise manner. The site is well organized and even fun to read. A lot of lefty blabbermouths and hysterics could learn a lot from them.

Sign of Sanity

Sometimes it takes a Photoshopper to quickly reveal a core fact, as Pony Pal™ Snidely Whiplash does below:

Ohio Restoration Project: Real or Parody?

I've been fooled before. It took me forever to really figure out that Objective Ministries, my favorite religious web site EVER, was a fiendishly clever fake ( I just knew the graphics were too good to be sincere).

But this one... The Ohio Restoration Project, kinda freaks me out. Is it real? I want to think it isn't. It's all way too over the top. Take a long look at it. The graphics are almost too kitschy, for one, and the calls for action are ludicrous. Plus, the catchy slogan "America Has a Mission to Share a Living Savior With a Dying World" adds a ridiculous coda at the bottom of each page.

Check out their objectives:

• 2,000+ Ohio Pastors participating in seven key city Pastor Briefings (March – September)
• Christian Minutemen mailing list enlarged to 300,000 and 100,000 e-mails.
• 2,000+ Ohio Ministers become Patriot Pastors and attend major gathering in fall of 2005
• 30,000+ Christians sharing in a OHIO for JESUS Rally in early 2006.
• 4 Million Voter Guides distributed in the fall of 2005 for first the May Primaries in 2006 and then for November 2006.
• Video production and distribution of Patriot Pastors Briefing for 7,497 Ohio Pastors.

On the other hand, the address and church name do seem to match up, and if you check Google Maps, the address corresponds with the Fairfield Christian Academy in Lancaster, OH. They link to the Center for Moral Clarity, which links back to them, and they're a real enough, if insane and Taliban-like, organization. So that means...

...uh oh, that means it's real. But wait! Look at their forums. Some of those posts have got to be fake, especially the first one on the thread linked.

So I'm terribly confused. I am completely unable to tell if this web site is an outrageous, brilliant fraud, or if it's horrifyingly real.

A little help here?

Inside Bill's Brain

"I have the votes. No, really! I'll push the button today! Wait, maybe tomorrow! For sure tomorrow, or the next day. I'll be a hero! Everybody will love me! Why are you looking at me like that? Get away from me! I'm going to be elected president in 2008... just you wait, Harry Reid! Harry? Where'd you go? Where'd everybody go? Hellooooo?"

Breaking News! I Mean, Naked Stewardesses!

These media-savvy flight attendants know how to get CNN's attention, that's for sure:

You've got to admire their gusto, because they're doing something pretty serious: They're calling attention to corporate America's concentrated attack on all those tasty pension plans, just sitting there like juicy plums, waiting to be 'reinvested' in something else. Plus, by using the usually forbidden 'S' word ('Stewardess'), they're pretty funny, too.

Even without knowing if there's glitter involved, there are at least maribu feathers aplenty, and is that a pink or purple thong on the airline employee second from the left? These gals get two very enthusiastic sparkley hooves up!

Magic Carpet Ride

If you reduce every topic and news story to Red vs. Blue, Left vs. Right, then anything can be related to anything else, right? Sometimes the results of this mindset are so mind-numbingly ludicrous that I just have to keep searching and searching, fruitlessly, for that "satire" disclaimer.

Well, as you all know, lots and lots of kids --oh, just everywhere!-- are going on and on and on about Newsweek's current shame. And whenever there's a big news story, well, it's fun to hitch your wagon to that shooting star, isn't it?

Enter Alan Gottleib and his fun-luvin' pack of gun nuts, the Second Amendment Foundation, with a press release that really puts relevance and credibility to the test. Gottleib misleadingly reports that Newsweek "acknowledged the report... was bogus", and then builds on his smear-job by adding that "This irresponsible exercise of the First Amendment freedom of the press has killed and injured more people than Charles Whitman or the Beltway Snipers." Then he reminds us that "A Newsweek story just killed or injured more than 115 people." Um... what? Were massive paper cuts involved?

Gosh... Mr. Gottleib sure seems to have an axe to grind with Newsweek and its publisher, The Washington Post Company. Why is he making such a fuss about this seemingly non-2nd-Amendment issue?

Ah, there's the rub: Gottleib suggests, apparently with a straight face, that a "waiting period" should be applied to the 1st Amendment! Because, after all, "How many times," Gottlieb wondered, "have Newsweek and The Washington Post advocated waiting periods for law-abiding citizens [law-abiding citizens like Charles Whitman and the Beltway Snipers?], who have hurt nobody, before they can buy a firearm?" And blah, blah, blah, it goes on.

Hey, baby, this story's got coattails! Hop on!

Coming Soon to PBS

Learn more about the GOP plot (no, really!) to take over PBS and NPR here at Media Matters, here at CJR Daily, and here (and here!) at the NY Times.

Hey, maybe they'll bring this guy back:

Cinderella Story? Only if You're Lazy and Boring

Something very cute happened last Friday. While fleeing the non-existant threat on Capitol Hill, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi lost her shoe! And it was pink! Later, in the most adorable photo op to hit town since George Clooney was here last, Representative Dave Reichert, the Republican congressman from Washington State, dropped to his knee in a gallant gesture as he returned the errant sling-back, which he had found in the evacuation confusion, to its rightful owner.

Let's see... a handsome gentleman returning a lost shoe to a damsel in distress. I know! Cinderella! It's the first thing that jumps into your mind, isn't it? It was also the first thing that occured to the Associated Press, who said, "It was a Cinderella story, Capitol-Hill-Style." This is in contrast to the Houston Chronicle, also AP subscribers, who claimed that "It was a Cinderella story, Capitol Hill style", boldly eliminating the hyphens. The Seattle Intelligencer called it "A political Cinderella story", while the Contra Costa Times cleverly referred to it as a "Cinderella story". OK, OK... we get it!

Well, I'm no fancy-pants journalist. I come from a background in art history. And let me tell you, if I had handed in a paper in college in which the central motif was a metaphor, and then I failed to substantiate, or even explore, that metaphor, I would have been given an 'F'.

Let's take a closer look at the Cinderella story: Dave Reichert plays Prince Charming. OK, stop. Dave Reichert is pretty worried right now. He's very worried about his connections to a man who appears in no fairy tales: Tom DeLay. This Seattle Times editorial headline says it all: "Stench of DeLay clings to two Washington congressmen". The web site houseofscandal.org describes it in a more strident, shrill manner:

Just how tangled up in Tom DeLay's
House of Scandal is Dave Reichert?

•Dave Reichert has taken $19,901 from Tom DeLay's ARMPAC. No surprise that Reichert voted with Tom DeLay 97% of the time between Jan. 3 2005 and March 31 2005.

Is this the kind of government-for-hire that working families deserve?

•Dave Reichert voted to weaken the ethics rules in a move that many say served only to protect Tom DeLay.

Does the integrity of the House mean so little that Dave Reichert would sacrifice it to defend Tom DeLay?

•When Democrats offered a solution to clean up the House by strengthening ethics rules, Dave Reichert voted to make sure it never even came to an up or down vote.

So, OK... Reichert doesn't really fit the Prince Charming role. And coming to the rescue of Nancy Pelosi in the role of Cinderella? I don't think so! Nancy is more often placed in the role of a kind of 'anti DeLay', both by her supporters and her detractors. More often portrayed by her fans as one of the few brave, outspoken souls in the party, and by her enemies as a vicious, partisan attack dog, a damsel in distress she is not.

So if Reichert isn't a gallant prince coming to the rescue of a damsel in distress who bears more than a little resemblence to the famed Runaway Bride (see picture above), then what's really going on? Simple: Reichert is kneeling in deference to Pelosi, acquiescing. He's saying, in effect, "OK, you've killed the King (this is DeLay's role). Please don't come after me next! I beg you! Here's your shoe back!"

Now, isn't that more entertaining than a fairy tale?

Hairdresser on Hairdresser Violence

Todays New York Times has a wonderfully concise editorial by Frank Rich about the far-right's peculiar obsession with hairdressers, and how many of their most vehement anti-hairdresser naysayers are secretly performing dye jobs and setting finger waves themselves. A sample:

Today's judge-bashing firebrands often say that it isn't [hairdressing] per se that riles them, only the potential legalization of same-sex marriage by the courts. That's a sham. These people have been attacking [hairdressers] since well before Massachusetts judges took up the issue of marriage, Vermont legalized civil unions or Gavin Newsom was in grade school.

Read it: Just How Gay is the Right?

A side note: Just how did Frank Rich travel from being an absolutely hated theater critic to being such a great political/pop culture commentator? Was it something he ate? Can I have some?

More Condi Headwear Options

Condi made a surprise visit to Iraq today! Lucky Iraqis:

Inspired by Condi's pal, Democratic Party (please savor the irony!) leader Massoud Barzani, I thought, "Hmmm... there's a possible new look for her...."

Well, maybe not. Back to the drawing board!

Saturday Condi Fun

Pony Pal™ Splat Vector has come up with a kicky new Summer 'do for Condi:

Uncle Splatty explains:

I've always thought Condi should run with a wilder,
untamed look, rather than plaster the whole thing over to the side with
15 gallons of Shellac. And lo and behold, through the magic of pixel
manipulation, I think we've found a Condi everyone can admire! This
looks remarkably good on her, don't you think?

I sure do, Uncle Splatty! And while I'm at it, here's another recent picture I loved by Mr. Vector:

Hot Snow Falls Up!

Hillary Clinton and Newt Gingrich play nice together, work constuctively, compliment each other.

Um... I keep waiting for the punchline.

Last Supper

Last night, a gaggle of Tom DeLay's bestest pals gathered to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic for their doomed leader. Whose head is that in DeLayChrist's lap? Why, it's Washington Times editor Tony Blankley!

Read about it here at Think Progress (and, yes, that's your purple-maned public servant's alterego offering image-handling advice in the comments).

Pontius Voinavich

I wash my hands

Thanks to my clever coworkers, Barbara and David, for the gag idea.

This is News?

From CNN International: Satan no match for God, says Pope.

Stop the presses! Remember when CNN used to be good?

Clairvoyant... I Hope

I usually try to avoid simply reposting things featured on other blogs (damn you, Wonkette!), but this, via dailyKos, via Sirotablog, is too good not to spread around.

See if you can guess who said the following, and when:

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are [a] few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."

Give up? It was President Dwight Eisenhower in 1954! Let's hope he was right!

Condi Threefer

What better way to start the day than with a Condistravaganza?

First, imagine how thrilled I was to find out that there's a Condoleezza action figure! Here it is, below, and even though it looks a little more like Mike Tyson than Condi, I ordered one lickedy-split. I'll have to get it a new red power suit ASAP, though:

Next, Pony Pal™ Sean (spelled the right way) forwarded to me this heartfelt Condi ballad. It moved me to tears. Sean wanted me to make sure to credit his source, Transbuddha.com. Thanks a bunch, Sean!

And finally, I was experimenting with new looks for Condi, and I did this quickie in an attempt to make her more appealing to Georgia Republican Farm Boys: