Never Waste A Wrong Number

 

 

 

Email Of The Day

Picture (unrelated to email below) via Gizmodo

OK, so I think I've used up my quota of righteous indignation for, like, the next five years (I could never write for Pam's House Blend), so let's turn to something lighter, shall we? I got this email today:

Hi Peteykins,

I work for the website team of [redacted sex toy company] and have a kind favor to ask of you. We are looking for bloggers like yourself to review a product of ours on your blog. We would send the product to you free of charge; all that we would ask for in return are a few links back to our site (redacted) with the anchor text reading “Sex Toys”. Please let me know what you think, I look forward to hearing back from you!

Best,

[redacted]

So... uhhh... how does one review a sex toy? I suppose I would have to give it a whirl, so to speak, and then report on its effectiveness. My coworkers read this blog! My family reads this blog! And what do they mean by bloggers like myself? Have they read this site? I can see if a shoe company or a purveyor of, say, sequined miniature cowboy hats made this offer, but sex toys? As enticing as the offer is (not really), I'll have to pass, thanks.

I'm not totally against the idea in principle. If I got the same offer from Comme des Garçons, I'd happily oblige.

Um... please? Comme des Garçons? I'd happily oblige.

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging Featuring Bonus Pony Pal Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging

Click for 1200x900

I was discussing the ugly tour busses with a coworker today (I have a display of them in the NGA staff art case currently), and we talked about the concept of ambient visuals. Think of it as a corollary to ambient noise, by which I do not mean Brian Eno's Music for Airports, but all that sound which surrounds us constantly which we filter out unconsciously (traffic sound, various machine hums, etc.). Similarly, ugly tour busses in a city like Washington, DC are also an ambient factor: large, ugly objects which we see so often that we end up not "seeing" them at all. Another great example of an ambient visual is the green metal electrical transformer boxes (or whatever they are) that dot the urban landscape. Try this: in the course of one day, count each one you see; you will be amazed at how many of these "invisible" objects you pass. This is why "hiding in plain sight" is often a good tactic. Mark Pauline of Survival Research Laboratories knew as much when he did his billboard modifications: he wouldn't try to be sneaky and do them in the middle of the night, but would execute them in broad daylight, making himself "invisible" by simply donning a pair of workman's coveralls.

I digress! I love it when somebody says to me, "I never noticed the ugly busses before, but now I see them everywhere!" Mission accomplished.

So I loved this email from Pony Pal™ KTZachary:

Easter Sunday after leaving church (St. John's with the Obamas!) I saw two tour buses parked across H Street. One was actually a lovely shade of blue, and there was absolutely NO writing on it (other than the little federal ID by the door). The next surprise was to see that it came from Staten Island, NY, home to the worst architecture in the USA. I just knew I had to send a picture to you, for its curiosity value if nothing else.

And while I was at it, I took shots of the bus parked behind it. Par for the course bad.

Her excellent photos can be seen here. Thanks a bunch! Two glittery hooves extended skyward!

One quibble: par for the course bad? IT HAS STARS ON IT! I would have been all over that thing. I've been trying to get white stars on a blue background for ages, but the busses just aren't cooperating.

I'll get you, weird Chinese(?)-Canadian Safeway bus, and your little maple leaf, too!

Congressional Spouse Recommends New US Capitol Visitor Center... for Hilarity

Our favorite new friend, Pony Pal™ Congressional Spouse, recently visited the Capitol because, duh, hubby had to come here to work or for photo-ops or something. Anyway! PPCS went to the new Visitor Center everyone pretty much hates, and photographed for us the wonderful tribute there to Larry Craig, greatest senator of all time. So touching! But that's not the only opportunity for sexytime. PPC-Spouse reports:

Has anyone checked out the statue of King Kamehameha at the visitor's center? One cannot resist the urge to walk up and peer under the fabulous gold loincloth.... go and see!! It will be fascinating to watch for five minutes to see how many people look!

Well, gosh, now I finally really do want to see the Visitor Center! Yay!

Thrilling Eyewitness Account of Michael McCaul's Daughters' Weird Dresses

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of Calif., back row and second from left, stands with Rep. Michael McCaul, R-Texas, during a mock swearing in, Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2009, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (AP Photo/Haraz N. Ghanbari)

I have such a treat for you! One lucky Pony Pal™ had her spouse totally, like, all elected to Congress 'n' stuff. Fun! Let's just call her... um... Pony Pal™ Congressional Spouse, OK? Anyway, she was at the pretend event shown above, as well as the real thing, and has this exciting eyewitness report to pass on:

I can tell you it is not much fun being a muzzled spouse. Sitting there in the House Gallery during the swearing in I saw so many metaphors defining the Ds from the Rs expressed in the way they dress their kids!!!! We could not have phones, cameras or anything. And I was just dying to snap the photo of the four little Von Trapp McCaul girls...dressed identically in red and black ball gowns. What was it with the Republicans dressing their daughters in ballgowns on the floor of the House???? It was like they could not wrap their heads around a business attire atmosphere. And LOTs of them wearing identical stuff. But the impact of the four daughters of Texas Rep. Michael McCaul's girls in their billowing red taffeta skirts & black velveteen tops (how much more predictable can you GET?) surrounding their poor little brother in some kind of Lord Fauntleroy getup was ...well...a statement. Oh...and he marched them onto the floor from tallest to shortest ...or was it the other way around?

And, indeed, the creepy McCaul does have a thing for the matching outfits on his kids. Here he is in 2005 (AP Photo):

But not all was creepy or off-putting:

Oh..yeah...some wonderful power suits on the floor worn by the female reps...interesting cuts and and colors. Some were altogether too predictable. But some were truly fabulous. What fun to sit up there and observe the action, but SO frustrating not to have a camera or even a phone for messaging to friends.

I can imagine. The shoes alone must have made the trip worth it!

I don't know about you, but I'm super-excited by this report from Pony Pal Congressional Spouse and look forward to more in the future!

She's No Joker

Big thanks and an glittery shower of praise to Pony Pal™ Magase for gracing this blog with the above wonderful illustration. Be sure to click the pic for a larger version. So good!

Some of you may recall that Magase also redecorated the White House lawn in this blog's honor (again, click for larger):

I don't know about you, but I'd love to see some more examples of this talented Photoshopper's work.

Gigantic, Unloveable Ads Invade Mall

Pony Pal™ Miriam sends along the following, noting that last weekend's National BBQ competition on The Mall attracted quite a crowd of gigantic, inflatable advertising invaders. First up, there was Colgate Product Placement Dentist Bunny™:

And less charmingly, Hooters Product Placement Spray Cleaner™:

And this, dear readers, is the price we pay for freedom. I guess they're better than gigantic, inflatable diseased rats! Glittery hooves way up for Miriam! Adverlicious!

Pink Pony Probably Confused a Bunch of Belgians Today

The above, sent from Pony Pal™ Constant is from today's edition of Metro, a free paper for commuters in Belgium which picked PSP as site of the day. Wheee! I am truly very flattered! At least I think I am, because I have only a vague notion of what it says!

I don't get very many readers from overseas, and very few, indeed, from countries where English isn't the primary language. I can't help but think that this site must be awfully confusing, what with the obscure political figures (Wie is Lurita Doan?) and the avalanche of teen slang and made-up words. I'm trying to imagine a reader weeping in frustration while searching for "diplamazon", for instance, in an English/Russian-Russian/English dictionary to no avail.

EDIT: Hey, look at that:

The system works!

YOU Can Walk in Ursula's Shoes

I must admit that I can be a bit sloppy in keeping up with Ursula Plassnik; I tend to stick to domestic news resources for Ursulaproduct, totally forgetting that she's totally from another country, one with its very own news outlets. Isn't that adorable? So thank goodness for the mysterious Austrian Pony Pal™ "A", who provides the following two absolutely stunning Ursulamoments.

First up, is the affable Viennese giantess really wearing lime green,gingham-patterned slacks with red gingham Chuck Taylors? Yes, yes she is:

OMG, how many more ways can the nutty diplomatrix make me love her?

Our Austrian correspondent explains: The link opens up Ursula's picture in an Austrian
newspaper's photo gallery on politicians and fashion. It was taken at a party conference earlier this year.

I'll have you know that --forget Ferragamo-- Chuck Taylors are the official preferred hoof covering of PSP, so I'm familiar with these shoes, and they're even wackier than you can tell from the above photo. Check them out:

You can order them direct from Converse or here on Amazon. Be wacky like Ursula!

The second contribution from our Austrian Pony Pal™ is this incredible monument sculpted in... sugar? I don't get it, but I like it:

Ursula and former Austrian chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel (dressed as Mozart) cast in sugar. This about 120 cm high sugar sculpture was made as a window display at the Demel patisserie in Vienna. Ursula and Wolfgang were placed on a rotating disc, ever so tenderly embraced in an eternal waltz. Please note Wolfgang's little pedestal. It was to commemorate Austria's presidency of the EU in the first half of 2006, as well as Mozart's 250th birthday in the same year (hence the Mozart costume for Mr Schuessel, who in real life isn't very tall, either).

Sweet stuff, indeed! Let's give a big hand to our wonderful Austrian correspondent!

Sparkle Pony Poetry Corner, Michael Steele Edition

YOU CONTINUE TO BUILD AND REACH
OUT AND BRING NEW MEMBERS TO THE
FOLD AND AGAIN, TO SHARE SOME OF
THE CORE BELIEFS OF OUR PARTY
AND WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT.
CERTAINLY TO THE LEADERSHIP OF
THE RNLA AND MY BUDDY BOB, THANK
YOU FOR THE CHANCE TO BE HERE,
TO SHARE SOME INSIGHTS.
NOW, I HAVE GOT A LEGAL PROBLEM
THAT I NEED YOUR HELP ON.
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PUPPY?
BECAUSE I HEARD HE WENT
HOLLYWOOD AND I'M TRYING TO GET
ALL THAT WORKED OUT BECAUSE IF
HE GETS PAID, I WANT TO GET
PAID.
AND THAT'S HOW THAT SHOULD GO.

The above, sent by Pony Pal™ Supreme/CSPAN secret operative Fritz wasn't meant to be gripping, surrealist poetry, but is in fact the closed-captioning from Michael Steele's speech to the Republican National Lawyers Association (scared yet?) on March 30, 2007. What was he really saying? With verse like that, who cares! Somebody, please give that captioner a Pulitzer!

UPDATE: Kent Conrad Glad to be Gaylord

We get letters! And sometimes those letters are a delayed reaction to something posted long ago. But let's set the record... um... straight: Senator Kent Conrad (D-SD) is totally glad to be Gaylord. Regard:

Hi Sparkle Pony

Someone forwarded me your, by now ancient, post of June 14th. You accurately describe Senator Conrad's given first name as Gaylord, and snicker a little because he commonly uses his middle name, Kent, suggesting he's hiding his first name. I can assure you he's not.

I wanted to make sure you knew that he's proud of his given name. He grew up being called Kent because Gaylord was his father's name. Senator Conrad was orphaned when he was five when a drunk driver slammed into the family car, and when he was a young boy, he was raised by his grandparents. They knew the son they had lost, the Senator's father, as Gaylord. So they called their grandson Kent.

You have an interesting site. I like to encourage bloggers to feel free to check in with me directly if you have any questions or want to verify facts. I'm usually very available by email.

Thanks,
Chris

Christopher Thorne
Communications Director
Office of U.S. Sen. Kent Conrad

Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Thorne! And thank you for riding the Pink Pony! Hmmm... I'm thinking now of a new catch-phrase, something like "Princess Sparkle Pony: Occasionally taken seriously by mistake in the corridors of power."

EDIT: Now I feel kinda guilty, and I feel the need to point out that I really don't have any issues with Senator Conrad. He's a good guy.

Dreams Less Sweet

Pony Pal™ Tripp is having Condidreams. How jealous am I?

It was both enlightening and disturbing. I want more.

In my dream, she seemed so vulnerable when I told her that I noticed how she relaxed her shoulders as we were watching George and crew play volleyball. She seemed like she was at peace for once. Such a beautiful moment ... and then that lady came in with the jar of pickles. I still haven't figured that one out.

This may very well top the Fireman/Shaving Cream dream of 1987. Thank goodness that one didn't come true.

Ohhhh... it was so good, and then he totally lost me with the last sentence.

UPDATE! Anchor Man Makes Initial Response To Ridiculous, Sparkly Critic

Well! This is a nice surprise!

Yesterday (here and here), your equine public servant got her gorgeous, combable tail all ruffled by the either terrible or outright corrupt "journalism" displayed by WUSA 9 News, the DC CBS affiliate.

This morning I received a response from anchorman Mike Walter, who writes:

I'm trying to track down information on your earlier missive. I have to admit I let you down, I should have asked more questions about the story. It was a late add to the show. I know the news director is taking your earlier email seriously and is also asking lots of questions about the copy story.

Best Regards,

Mike Walter
Anchor/Reporter
WUSA-TV 9

I'm very impressed by Mr. Walter's response. Updates as warrented! Let this be a lesson: When you see something wrong, don't be afraid to say, "That's wrong," even if your body is pink and is adorned with fine, multicolored glitter.

Congrats To The Blushing Bride!

Pony Pal™ Pretty Princess Tori (not Tori Spelling) recently wrote:

I'm looking forward to more Peter Pan stories, and possibly more hairdresser stories. Good news every once and a while would be nice though. If you keep with the negative, I'll just get too depressed.

Well, then, Pretty Princess, what could be happier than a wedding? Let's whinny a great big "best wishes" to perky bride Arthur J. Finkelstein, who recently married his presumably dashing Prince Charming, who, for some reason, coyly refrains from being identified by name. It seems that the no-doubt dreamy nuptuals happened in December in Massachussetts, and Mr. Finkelstein is only now getting around to gushing about the event in today's New York Times. Awww, don't be so modest, Arthur, I'm sure it was a breathtaking to-do, and I'm sure all your clients, like Jesse Helms, Alfonse D'Amato and George Pataki, are hurt that they weren't invited to share in your magical, special day.

Well, now that the honeymoon is presumably over, Mr. Finkelstein can return to his busy, busy work schedule, especially his delightful-sounding plan to bury Hillary Clinton in shit.