OMG, Jon Huntsman Hand Turkeys!!!

With the Statue of Liberty in the background, Republican presidential hopeful and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman waves to supporters before officially announcing his bid, Tuesday, June 21, 2011 , at Liberty State Park in Jersey City, N.J. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

What If Callista Gingrich Were An Ernie Bushmiller Drawing?

Would that make Newt Sluggo? No, it would make him Rollo the rich kid.

Totally Uncalled-For Callista Gingrich Photoshop

Goddess Callista Gingrich Is Officially The First Hairdo Problem Of This Election Cycle

I knew you could do it, Callista! But again, as with every time the so-called "mainstream media" tries to keep a straight face while analyzing hairdos, there's always this apologetic tone:

Hair has struck again. Superficial, to be sure, it somehow manages to work its way into almost every campaign, and this season is no different.

Don't apologize, Beth of the Boston Globe! It's really OK to write about hairdos; people do it all the time! I've said it over and over again: hairdos matter. Salon issues destroyed John Edwards' political career long before the, you know, extramarital offspring 'n' such.

But anyway, after apologizing and justifying the importance of coiffures, Beth gets to the good stuff and asks some local hairdressers about Callista's supreme, magical hair-object:

“It takes at least 45 minutes to an hour to do that kind of blow-dry,’’ said Clifford Bouvier, artistic director of Crew International, in Brookline. “She’s really bleached out, and to smooth out over-processed hair you have to do a lot of work. You have to use products that put moisture back in the hair.’’

Helena Cohen, owner of Ardan Medspa + Salon, in Wellesley, said that Gingrich’s hair appears to be teased, and that would add time to the morning routine. “She does that bump on the top that gives it height.’’ Time taken away from kissing babies: about 15 minutes.

Celebrity hair guru Sandy Poirier, at Shag, in South Boston, said Gingrich’s hair might take as long as 90 minutes, although he couldn’t be sure.

Now THAT is proper hairdo reporting.

Jon Huntsman's Campaign Logo Looks Like A Really Bad Department Store House Brand Tommy Hilfiger Knock-Off

(AP Photo 06-21-11)

You know what I mean? Like in Macy's 'n' such? Even his name sounds like a bad department store house brand.

So there you have it: there are now two Mormons in the race. One of them pretends to be moderate but really isn't (Huntsman), while the other pretends to not be but really is (Romney).

Republican primary voters are sure to love them both.

Art Collection: "Dick Tracy" Daily By Chester Gould, 1950

Click for bigger, legible.

Above is the original drawing, pen/brush and ink and graphite on Bristol board, by Chester Gould for the daily comic strip Dick Tracy originally published on Wednesday, December 6, 1950. The board is about 23 x 7 1/4 inches.

If Dick Tracy isn't already indelibly burned into your psyche, you can read up on it here. The strip had been running for 20 years by this point, so this is Chester Gould at the peak of his powers. It's hard to make such a wordy story so graphically rewarding, but Gould does it by grounding each panel in rigid, geometrical settings and strategically-placed areas of pure black. Within this severe foundation, the artist really goes to town with his beautiful fluid lines and sweeping gestures. Against all this, Dick Tracy himself, ever the rectilinear hero, stands in neat contrast.

In this episode, Tracy pal B.O. Plenty, the irascible hillbilly, lies recovering in his hospital bed after being shot by the evil T.V. Wiggles (!). He's recovering because Dick Tracy prayed to god to save him, and god did. Serenading B.O. is his bug-eyed wife, Gravel Gertie, their incongruously gorgeous toddler, Sparkle Plenty, and several dogs. Since it's Dick Tracy, after all, everything ends in tears.

So not much action, no villains, but what gorgeous drawings. Here are some details: 

Finally, it's interesting to note that editors had an option to run a cropped version of the strip: note the little guidelines about 3/4 of the way down the artwork and the placement of the signature and copyright line. I checked out this strip in about 20 different papers, though, and couldn't find anyone who went with this option.

Callista Gingrich Wants To Rock And Roll All Night, Party Every Day

What If Callista Gingrich Suddenly Sprouted Moose Antlers?

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Red/White Equilibrium

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UPDATE: The more I look at it, the more I think that this is my favorite tour bus photo ever.

Real Food: More Shiny Pretzels

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Annals Of Questionable Marketing

Pony Pal™/coworker Melissa sent along the above delightful example of creative sloganeering. Cute!

Tony Perkins: Republican Candidates Don't Have To Be 100% Ideologically Pure To Get Our Votes, But If They Aren't 100% Ideologically Pure They Won't Get Our Votes

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has a great editorial on CNN right now that you have to read because, obviously, it's so obnoxious. But it's also a great example of something I've talked about before. Here's Tony making a series of fantastically contradictory statements:

There is no misconception among conservatives as to what the ultimate objective is -- win elections. But history shows that candidates on the right win when they're actually conservative. Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour has repeatedly said, "Purity is the enemy of victory." That's a nice sound bite, but it won't win you the Republican nomination or the White House. When it comes to conservative principles, compromise is the companion of losers.

And then he follows that up with the kicker: "Having said that, don't expect values voters to roll out a 'purity' pledge." Basically he's saying that there's no "purity pledge," it's just that 100% purity is required.

And that, Pony Pals™, is what the GOP is stuck with.

Art Collection: "Nuts And Jolts" Gag Cartoon By Bill Holman, 1956

Click for bigger, screw-ballier.

I don't really have much to say about this one; it doesn't pose any mysteries like the last drawing I showed you from my collection. This is the original pen-and-ink drawing by Bill Holman for his daily "Nuts and Jolts" newspaper gag panel published on January 12, 1957 (but drawn, as a stamp on the back proves, in 1956). It's about 9"x11".

Holman is best known for his incredibly, relentlessly wacky "Smokey Stover" comic strip, as well as "Spooky," a side feature. In fact, that's Spooky the cat observing the goings-on in the right foreground. This panel shows the kind of giddy nihilism characteristic of his work.

One thing this original drawing shows that isn't evident in published versions of his comics is that he really labored over his work: the whole thing is a mass of chaotic pencil scribblings, scraped-off parts, and endless corrections and refinements. It's amazing that the finished drawing comes across as spontaneous and fresh as it does. A close-up detail of Spooky really shows the wonderfully spastic qualities of his technique:

Why isn't there a huge, multi-volume set of his work? Too nutty for most to take seriously, I guess.  God, I love his stuff.

Quickie: Weiner To Resign Today?

Let's see if I can be the first to report this: a friend told me this morning that her friend at CQ said that Weiner will resign today. It's 8:14 AM. We'll see who's first!

UPDATE: Looks like this isn't going to happen. See how treacherous insidery info can be? They're just guessing 'n' gossiping like everybody else.

Now We Know Why Callista Loves Newt So Much

FILE - In this June 8, 2011 file photo, Republican presidential hopeful, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, accompanied by his wife Callista Gingrich, speaks in Hudson, N.H.  Gingrich's campaign manager and numerous other key aides have resigned together, a strong blow to his hopes for the Republican presidential nomination.  (AP Photo/Cheryl Senter, File)

Oh Newt, are you sure you're not exaggerating just a little? Haw, OK, dumb joke. But anyway, Pony Pal™/coworker John was pretty upset yesterday: "I want Newt to stay in!" Not me, though. I want Newt to get back to what matters, raking in huge sums of money in the private sector so that he can continue to shower Queen Callista with mounds of fabulous Tiffany jewelry.

And because I love you, and I know you love Callista, here's a very special detail from the photo above which will absolutely make you wet your pants with joy:

Callista, you are one out-of-sight fantastic lady!

Speaking of which, She has become the scapegoat to some for everything wrong with Newt's campaign. From Politico:

Sources connected to Gingrich’s departed team said many of those who left were pinning some of the blame for the candidate’s missteps on his wife, Callista. “He does whatever she wants,” said one source, who added that the Greek cruise was long-scheduled but that Gingrich didn’t feel he could put up an argument against it.

Another source gave the same account.

“She insisted on the cruise,” said this source.

Shut up, Politico. What's good for Callista is good for America.

Book Shelf: 16 Magazine Vol. 16 #6, November 1974, Part One

Time for another superfab issue of everybody's fave teen mag, 16! What does this issue hold in store for us? Well, Osmonds, duh, but also the stars of Emergency! And Alice Cooper! And Linda Blair! All this adds up to a particularly trashy ish. All of the images in this post can be clicked for larger images for your reading pleasure. Shall we get started? Let's. Ok, the inside front cover is, naturally, Darling Donny™® Osmond. What did you expect? Anyway, here he is through the years:

That's a lot of Donny! What was it about the Osmonds? I guess they projected an image of complete non-threat, total puppiness. I couldn't relate to it then and I certainly can't relate to it now. Next up is one of the many, many house ads we'll be seeing (remember, 16 only carried ads for its sister publications; a little disappointing, really, because you just know if they carried regular ads they'd be totally great) and the table of contents to give you a better idea of what's in this issue:

Gloria Stavers just couldn't let go of her precious Beatles, even after they had broken up and gone on to careers which probably held little interest to 11-year-old girls. It's funny that they claim that Ringo "resents" being asked about possible Beatle reunions, because you just know at this point he would have sacrificed several digits for it to happen:

The! Emergency! Boys! I used to love Emergency. The breathless claim that Kevin Tighe "is now earning over $4,000 a week!" certainly puts today's TV actor salaries in perspective, doesn't it? The thing about Randy Mantooth is pretty funny, describing him as having been a spoiled jerk always bad-mouthing the show. But now he's changed, according to 16! Both Randy and Kevin ended up having pretty long fallow periods after Emergency, but ended up having perfectly acceptable and busy jobs as character actors/TV guest stars ever since.

Uh, oh... SHHHH! Secret! The picture of Marc Bolan totally freaks me out here:

And, sad, Freddie Prinze. But the best part of the page above is the gossip about Sonny and Cher. Did you know Sonny dated the fabulous Joey Heatherton? Yeah, me neither. But how about Cher "dating" David Geffen? Haw haw haw. "Cher and David, by-the-bye, are exactly the same size, which means that they can wear each other's unisex outfits." LOL. I wonder if he could fit into her Bob Mackie gowns? Also included are important details about Cher 'n' David's extravagant shoe shopping adventures. Up next, 16's endless serialized "Dorri" story. In this episode, she gets shipwrecked with Donny Osmond, and he tries to save her from a swamp monster:

Will Donny be successful against the horrible beast? I guess we'll never know. Below, the Heywoods finally get their big hit in the awful "Billy Don't Be a Hero." Little did they know it would be their only one. They started off as an opening act for, of course, the Osmonds. Later in the 90s they served as an opening act for Barry Williams. Today they have an almost supernaturally irritating webpage (warning: autoplaying music). Check out the peculiar instrumentation:

Now here's a very difficult Trivial Pursuit answer, one which only Canadians stand a chance of getting, René Simard:

This seems like a rather half-hearted attempt by 16 to create a new star. They must have known that pushing a non-English-speaking singer on their audience was a tough sell. On the other hand, I'm sure it boosted their circulation north of the border. Just about the only noteworthy thing about Simard is totally icky: his manager molested his sister. Ew.

And finally for this installment, Queen Linda Blair! Yay! It's kind of strange, because chances are good that most of 16's readers weren't allowed to see The Exorcist, but they knew about it, and that's what mattered. The best thing is that they talk about Linda's upcoming Born Innocent, surely one of the trashiest, maybe even THE trashiest, TV movies ever made, in which unlucky Linda is raped in a shower by a gang of tough prison lesbians with a toilet plunger:

Coming in the next installment:Alice Cooper "wants YOU as his victim," Roger Daltrey starring in one of the best worst movies ever made, Marie Osmond's Love Test, and Andy Williams' flash-in-the-pan teen idol sons. Yay!

Quickie: Weinergate Overdose

How many posts has Mediaite devoted at least in part to Weinergate just this week? 52. Fifty two! So far. And it's early Wednesday morning.

RELATED: Oh, jeez, here's Richard Cohen, again, being righteously indignant and sticking up for an adulterer, again:

Another Christian has been thrown to the lions. The “Christian” in this case is a Jew, and the lions are the news media but the general idea is the same.

Still a little sensitive about sexy issues, Richard?

Art Collection: Caricature Of George Bellows By Art Young, Ca. 1916

Click for bigger.

Art Young (1866-1943) was a prolific and influential political cartoonist, writer and illustrator who worked for many of the most prestigious magazines and newspapers in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He is best known for his work at The Masses, a fairly radical socialist magazine published in New York between 1911 and 1917. The drawing below, titled "Capitalism", is probably his most iconic drawing from that periodical:

While at The Masses, Young worked alongside noteworthy American painters John Sloan, Stuart Davis and George Bellows, and coined the term "The Ashcan School" to describe their warts-and-all urban style and subject matter. In a 1917 issue he published the following caricature of the magazine's art staff:

When I first purchased the drawing being examined here, I noted the similarity between it and the caricature of The Masses cartoonists. The seller felt that the drawing of Bellows came later, from the 20s or 30s, and theorized that it could have been made as a spot illustration for one of Young's memoirs. Unfortunately, the previous owner had no other information about it. I was first able to get my hands on his second memoir, Art Young: His Life and Times (1939), and sure enough, it features many portraits similar to my drawing, such as those below:

Other illustrations in the book demonstrated that the cursive handwriting in my drawing was indeed Young's own. At this point I felt that the drawing of Bellows had perhaps been made, but not used, for this volume (Bellows is only briefly mentioned in it, making the drawing a understandable candidate to be dropped from the illustration-packed book). The final piece of the puzzle fell into place when I obtained Young's earlier memoir, On My Way (1928) from the Library of Congress. In it, Young reproduces the caricature of The Masses art staff with the following caption:

This was an exciting discovery, because it strongly suggested that my drawing was, in fact, one of the sketches made in preparation for the group caricature. The drawing itself bears this out: there are numerous subtle changes visible between the inking and the underlying pencil drawing, as well as numerous erasures and corrections (especially at the top of the head), clearly demonstrating that this is where Young was working to get Bellows' features right.

My conclusion is that at least the underlying pencil drawing on my sheet was drawn from life. There is a good chance that this preparatory drawing was excised from a sketchbook (the contours of the sheet are slightly irregular) and then inked and signed later by the artist; the red crayon outline suggests that it was made into a "presentation piece" at a later date,  I like to think for Bellows himself, but this is, of course, conjecture. My next step is to see if I can find any of the other surviving sketches made in preparation for the group caricature.

I'd like to thank Dr. Rebecca Zurier of the University of Michigan, and author of the excellent Art for The Masses, for helping to lead me in the right direction in my research on this rare period image of one of America's greatest painters. This, to the best of my knowledge, is the first time this drawing has ever been published.

Quickie: In For A Penny, In For A Pound

I know, I know this and Weinergate are all anybody is talking about, but I just thought you'd like to know what the Conservapedia entry on Paul Revere now says:

He is famous for riding from Boston to Lexington, Massachusetts with William Dawes on the night of April 18, 1775 ringing bells to warn the British that colonists would exercise their natural rights to both bear arms and use them in an effort secede from the United Kingdom in response to Big Government bullying and interfering with Colony's Rights[1]. Coincidentally, this also served to warn the minutemen the British were coming[Citation Needed].

Ha ha: coincidentally. Haw.

UPDATE: The entry has been (as of this writing, at least) changed back to something more sensible and accurate. If you look at the "talk" page, though, they've got quite an edit flame-war of their own over the now "controversial" issue of what, exactly, Paul Revere was up to that historic night.

Know Your Memes Or Be Doomed To Repeat Them

Spotted at the laundromat today:

My first reaction was, of course, ha ha, Pedobear. My second reaction was, naturally, whoops, Pedobear.