Friday, June 24, 2011

Goddess Callista Gingrich Is Officially The First Hairdo Problem Of This Election Cycle


I knew you could do it, Callista! But again, as with every time the so-called "mainstream media" tries to keep a straight face while analyzing hairdos, there's always this apologetic tone:

Hair has struck again. Superficial, to be sure, it somehow manages to work its way into almost every campaign, and this season is no different.

Don't apologize, Beth of the Boston Globe! It's really OK to write about hairdos; people do it all the time! I've said it over and over again: hairdos matter. Salon issues destroyed John Edwards' political career long before the, you know, extramarital offspring 'n' such.

But anyway, after apologizing and justifying the importance of coiffures, Beth gets to the good stuff and asks some local hairdressers about Callista's supreme, magical hair-object:
“It takes at least 45 minutes to an hour to do that kind of blow-dry,’’ said Clifford Bouvier, artistic director of Crew International, in Brookline. “She’s really bleached out, and to smooth out over-processed hair you have to do a lot of work. You have to use products that put moisture back in the hair.’’

Helena Cohen, owner of Ardan Medspa + Salon, in Wellesley, said that Gingrich’s hair appears to be teased, and that would add time to the morning routine. “She does that bump on the top that gives it height.’’ Time taken away from kissing babies: about 15 minutes.

Celebrity hair guru Sandy Poirier, at Shag, in South Boston, said Gingrich’s hair might take as long as 90 minutes, although he couldn’t be sure.

Now THAT is proper hairdo reporting.

13 comments:

Fran said...

I stand in awe! I would never have the time for that or the energy. Does she have "people" who do this for her? A professional "hairdresser" ever-ready with product and styling tools at his side?

Matty Boy said...

This is why she needs the mobile van!

Comrade PhysioProf said...

I don't think it's physically possible to do that to your own hair.

South Austin Viceroy said...

I would appreciate this same level of reporting about Gubnor Pretty Hair Perry. I've postulated that he may use the same hair care routine as that Duggar guy in Arkansas who has 21 and a tee-vee show on the PBS for Redneck channel (TLC). That method is the use of hair spray with a high amount of adhesive to adhere the hair into the desired shape. Unfortunately I am not a hair care professsional so my comment is only speculation.

Christopher said...

Clifford Bovier?! REALLY. He sounds like the fey hairdresser character on a 1980s sit-com.

Anonymous said...

does it feel like a bowl of cotton candy?

Butch Pansy said...

I do hope she's in favor of equal civil rights for hairdressers. Being a Republican, she might well say one thing while draped in the chair and quite another while at the bridge table. That might just result in an unfortunate "accident" one day. There are lots of dangerous chemicals and sharp objects in a beauty salon, even a mobile one....

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

The countours in that picture are amazin gwith the apple and her hair and her face. It's like staring into a spiral.

samael7 said...

Now, now, Butch Pansy, with a woman of Callista's blow-dried refinement, we don't need to stoop to veiled-but-humorous threats!

Besides, I'm pretty sure she's been checking her shampoo bottles for years for these sorts of little "surprises."

That was good reporting, too, because it made me actually admire parts of the whole coif, which up to now, I had only been able to absorb as a waxing lunar globulous whole.

P.S. Extra love for the Magritte reference!

Lulu Maude said...

Since Callista appeared on the scene, the quality of life has gone up.

And I don't mean just for Tiffany's.

Anonymous said...

Apparently Callista's hairdresser was not one of the staffers that resigned from the Gingrich election debacle.

Anonymous said...

Her hair isn't that odd, have you seen Hillary's hair do's lately, & what about Michelle's??? don't be so petty gals !

Peteykins said...

Anonymous, not only have I written recently about Hillary Clinton's hairdo, I was highly, highly critical, even dismayed, by it, describing it as "ridiculous" and that it made her appear to be "a 64-year-old woman trapped in a 17-year-old's hairdo... from 1965."

Michelle Obama's hair I admittedly have not criticized, but I simply haven't found anything much wrong with it.