New Trampy Monster Dolls Combine Horror With Eating Disorders, Shopping

Despite my best efforts, the most popular posts on this blog, to this day, are those concerning Struts Runway Magic, the inappropriately sexy toy fashion whorses™ which delightfully integrated body dysmorphia with consumerism and beastiality. Those toys ended up failing, much to my relief, but they'll apparently live on forever as a cautionary tale on the web.

Not cautionary enough, though, because now look at what Mattel has introduced to the young girls of America: Monster High, a line of stick-thin, shopaholic girls representing the fashionably cursed and injured. Indeed, death becomes them, from their full, pouty lips to their bandages and scars.

Look, I don't think I really need to get too deep into this, but these monstrosities (see what I did there?) make Barbie look positively chunky in comparison, and the conflation of sexual aggressiveness* and death is just a bit too much for me. Bratz are prudish and down-to-earth next to these disturbing hunks of gussied-up acrylonitrile butadiene styrene.

And unlike the failed erotic ponies, they're set to be one of the "hottest" toys of the year. Yay!

The logo is a cute skull with mascara and a pink bow, and the dolls are recommended for ages 6 and up.

*The teen Medusa is no doubt forever turning boys in the hallways rock hard.

More Scenes From West Virginia

Click any for bigger.

Greetings From West Virginia

Click all for bigger.

I spent this past weekend with my friends Mark and John at their fabulous, bucolic spread in West Virginia. Saturday was bright and warm, so that I got to witness a particularly intense demonstration of the latest plague, the incredible invasion of Chinese stinkbugs. They covered the entire sunny side of the house and made it difficult to eat outdoors in peace. Seriously, it was the damndest thing. Elsewhere in the garden, the Buddha contemplated the multiple layers of meaning within this invasive species' presence:

I also was pleased to see frolicking marmots and to eat homemade pawpaw pudding. This is near Washington DC but seemed like a million miles away:

More to come!

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Erasure

Click for bigger.

One of the things that makes this series of photographs especially challenging is that it's hard to shoot the subjects without being seen by the vendors. When I shoot a tour bus, for instance, it's fairly easy to do so without being seen by the driver, although there have been some amusing and embarrassing exceptions.

This morning, after shooting the above, the vendor came RUNNING after me. "What were you doing?" he asked, obviously agitated. "Oh, I was just photographing the painting on the side of your cart," I replied. "WHY?" he practically shouted. "I think it's beautiful," I shrugged. And the look! The look he gave me! He clearly didn't believe me (some of you may not either), and scowled relentlessly at me as I traipsed away, thrilled at my latest conquest.

It was like I was Osama bin Peteykins or something.

Real Food: Hamtastic

Click for bigger (not recommended).

This was a panic shot: I saw the vehicle coming and had to scramble for my camera, so it's blurry and actually benefits from being shrunk down to interwebs size. Tsk. I'd love to get this vehicle to stand still for a proper modeling session.

Can She Just Twitch Her Nose A Little? For Proof?

(Photo: PSP flashback to 02-07-10)

I have a confession: I actually kinda like Mediaite! Oh, sure, it's dumb, shallow and insidery, but its tasty little factoids are fun. I actually think "Media Snack" would be a better name for it.

Every once in a while, though, they hit a wayward nail right on the head. Here, for instance, is a smart little article by Tommy Christopher where he wonders, quite sensibly, about why so many people are taking Christine O'Donnell's silly "I dabbled in witchcraft" tale at face value. Christopher is loath to outright call the nutty Ms. O'Donnell a liar, but he points out that the witchcraft tale, besides being obviously ludicrous, was also a bit trendy at the time:

Christine O’Donnell’s Politically Incorrect appearance, it should also be noted, came on the heels of the release of The Blair Witch Project, the culmination of a decade that saw witches attain the kind of sexy teen cachet now reserved for mopey vampires. Her “confession” was not just sensational, it was topical.

The mere fact that [previous witchcraft claimers] were liars doesn’t mean that O’Donnell is, but the inauthenticity of her story makes it a fair question. Unfortunately, the right seems happy with O’Donnell’s tale of redemption, and the left would rather she be a kooky witch than a bad teenage liar.

This is a very good point. Who was this supposed Warlock who dated O'Donnell? Where was this "Satanic" altar she claimed to picnic upon? It has apparently occured to nobody to actually investigate her silly claims.

I have a feeling that when Christine says she "dabbled" in witchcraft, the scenario most likely was something like a dormroom of girls playing with a Ouija board or reading each others' horoscopes. Or maybe doing yoga. All these things, to the nutty Christians, are tantamount to Satanism and sorcery (see link under the picture above, for instance, or here for a hysterically funny Christian take on yoga).

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Bad

Click for bigger.

Uncle Fabulous Wants You

Not much to say here, but I just had to feature the Washington Times' subtle illustration for their latest anti-homos-in-the-military editorial. I wonder why they went for such a low-key approach? Couldn't they have given Uncle Sam a more comely chapeau? Eyeshadow? Lipstick? What a missed opportunity.

Whatever. It turns out that allowing hairdressers in the military will totally destroy it. Neat!

Christine O'Donnell Hand Turkeys!

Delaware Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell at a Sussex County Republican Committee Picnic at Dave Wilson's Auction on Sunday, Sept. 19, 2010, in Lincoln, Del. (AP Photo/Jessica Kourkounis)

Kremlin Kid Kamp Features Nazi Condi's Head On A Stick

(Photo via Suomen antifasistinen komitea)

Two sparkly hooves way up to one of our most distinguished Pony Pals™,  Georgetown professor John H. Brown, for sending along this absolutely bizarre and frightening tale about a weird Soviet-style youth camp in central Russia put on by the not-at-all sinister sounding Federal Agency for Youth Affairs. Take a look at the blog linked under the photo, above, and try to figure out what on earth is going on at this place. So bizarre! There are people dressed as angry pigs, giant pictures of Putin, photos of politicians juxtaposed with noodles (?!), huge letters made out of mirrors, fiberglass cows... I mean, and you thought the Tea Party was provocative!

But anyway, there's Condi's face, plastered on a mannequin head wearing a Nazi helmet and mounted on a stick, a treatment similarly afforded to Hilary Clinton and those evil fascists, the European Court for Human Rights. Why hasn't this caught on over here? Haw, give it time. It's only September.

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Triple Threat

Click for bigger!

This one is a real beauty. More painterly than most, I like the peculiar repetition of the hot dogs, the pentimenti, the way the forms overlap the text* and vice-versa. I love how the mustard and relish (always so challenging!) looks like wayward, ravenous caterpillars.

The rendering of the snow-cone is very exciting! When I started this series of photographs, I seriously considered concentrating on the many and varied snow-cone depictions rather than the hot dogs. Hot dogs are just better, though, obv.

*I wonder what word "ejel" (top right) is part of?

... Only A Mother Could Love

Click for bigger!

Above is a closeup of Philip Haas' incredible sculptural interpretation of Arcimboldo's "Winter," just installed at my work for a major retrospective of the nutty 16th Century gimmick painter. You can see the official installation shot here and find out more about the exhibition here.

Cute!

Hot 'n' Spicy GOP Hairdresser Action!

You know, sometimes you're reading a totally boring article, and then suddenly a delightful little fun fact jumps out at you way down the page:

Another Washington gay couple, who requested that their names not be published because the foreign partner is a Latino man currently living in the country under false pretenses and the American partner is a prominent Republican whose identity could easily lead authorities to the other man, said gays and lesbians fall in love in the same unpredictable way as straight people.

Juicy! Who could it be? Here are some more of my guesses:

Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging: Six-Pointed Stars

Click for bigger!

Fashion Victim: Seeing Spots

Here's a fun way to start your week: Slate has a surprisingly informative slide show on the history of something near and dear to my heart: the "polka" dot. From the spotted, bloody handkerchiefs of TB victims to the fabulous frocks of 1950s housewives, from leprosy to bikinis, the polka dot certainly has had its ups 'n' downs!

This is really the kind of thing the internet is good at.

Happy Monday!

Terrorist Pony Creates Mayhem Out Of Thin Air

Gosh, hats off to the creators of this brilliant pony-centric parody of how a mini media-tornado can suddenly strike anywhere. I love how the "shot off a TV set" camera gimmick makes it seem so convincingly like part of the "real" world.

Oh, wait, what's that? This story is real? It's not ingenious, deadpan satire?

OMG.

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Repeat

Click for bigger!

Meet Ricky Rebel: Two More Drawings, 1995

Click each for bigger.

Quickie: I Heart You, Louis CK

OMG, Louis CK got drunk on an airplane and twittered several obscene messages to Sarah Palin. So funny. Haw (NSFW).

UPDATE – Awww, the posts have been removed. Funny or Die saved a screenshot of most of the offending tweets here.

Unsurprising Headline Of The Day

(via Arizona Daily Star)

Ha, ha! Oh, gosh, we've all been laughing plenty at hapless Jan Brewer's performance in a recent debate, which can charitably called "a trainwreck." So, duh, she decided not to do any more. Her reason? It can only make her opponent look better! That's a good reason!

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Bollywood Dog

Click for bigger.

Vendor Cart Hot Dog Photoblogging: Reverse Painting

Click for bigger.

This is the most abstract vendor cart hot dog I've spotted so far. Includes bonus PSP reflection!

Condi Gets Ironic Award

AFP Photo, 10-05-06. Condi wears bullet-proof vest for perilous 50-foot sprint.

Here's the entire AP article:

AIR FORCE ACADEMY, Colo. — Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has received an Air Force Academy award for contributions to U.S. defense and security.

Rice was given the Thomas D. White National Defense Award during a visit to the academy last week.

The award is named for a former Air Force chief of staff. The academy presents the award annually.

Rice was national security adviser and secretary of state under President George W. Bush. She now teaches at Stanford University.

Haw, contributions to U.S. defense and security. Are they being purposefully perverse? I suppose one could say that by ignoring the famous "Bin Laden determined to strike" memo, she certainly contributed to keeping the Air Force busy.

I wonder what the award is? A certificate? A paperweight? Neato, Condi!