Saturday, November 04, 2006

Haggard's a Pitcher, If You Know What I Mean

A grand swish of the combable tail to eagle-eyed Pony Pal™ Addict, who spotted the following underreported info on CNN:

Dearest Sparklepony
I ask you, how does CNN know Ted Haggard was the top in this relationship?? (see above) Inquiring minds want to know.
I admit I'm surprised, too. He really seems a little femme to me. Well, if this scandal has taught us anything, it's that you can't judge a book by its cover!

UPDATE: It's all true.

UPDATE: According to Haggard's favorite prostitute, thoughtfully transcribed by our pals at Wonkette, CNN was woefully off on their declaration of the preacher's topness:
“When I was on the radio show in Denver, the question was asked: Did you practice safe sex? I said, We used a condom once. The talk show host goes, You mean he wore the condom once? I said, Uh, no, I did.”


sfmike said...

Appearances can be very deceiving, and possibly the best example I can think of is Liberace, who was, yes, a top pianist by all accounts.

guru-On-A-Soap-Box said...

BUT Haggard is emulating the 'bottom' rung of society. I mean, there's NOTHING 'top' about meth-heads. (or coke freaks or rich heroin(e) addicts or alcoholics---just look at Lind. Loh. )

Karen Zipdrive said...

The guy has that classic BJ mouth- kind of squared off from years of manly face pistoning.

Lulu Maude said...

You can see why he'd need to buy it.

samael7 said...

I think I need to consult a professional . . . advice columnist, or something, because the usual bout of schadenfreude I'm expecting . . . just isn't manifesting on schedule.

Am I broken? Has something about this story touched some heretofore unknown and nearly-tapped reservoir of pity in my withered, grinch-sized heart?

He totally takes it up the butt, though. "Top," my, er, his ass.

samael7 said...

Ha, I knew it!