Showing posts with label funny flag desecration jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny flag desecration jokes. Show all posts

Friday, October 05, 2007

McCain Lapel Watch Day 1!


(AP Photo/Willis Glassgow) 10-03-07

I wrote a stupid item over a year ago about how Walnuts McCain is obviously an America-hater who would destroy the World Trade towers all over again if he could because --OMG-- he doesn't wear one of those stupid flag lapel pins. As you can see from the above picture, shot Wednesday, he still doesn't and, therefore, is a Communist.

I was being silly, of course. But now, all sorts of people are writing real articles in real newspapers (and dumb blogs) about how Obama doesn't wear one, either!

I'm assuming the Coulters and Limbaughs of this once-proud nation with be using this ridiculous observation as a springboard to question Obama's patriotism over the next couple of days (Michelle Malkin already has!), but here's my question: will McCain come to Obama's defense? Probably not. Better yet, will Walnuts quietly start wearing one of the unfashionable accessories in the next couple of days? Would his gay sweaters allow it?

Stay tuned!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Patriotic Cement Mixer Photoblogging Continues!


Click for bigger!

What can I say? I'm a sucker for patriotic vehicles, but this one sends very mixed messages, so I'm hesitant to interpret its metaphors.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Fourth!



And remember that the defeat of the flag desecration ammendment means that it's still legal to go forth attired in stars 'n' stripes halter tops and hot-pants. You know what to do.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Freedom Lights the Way



Hey, look! Freedom matches! Cool!



Yay! They work great!



Oh, oh... be careful, Princess!



Oops, dang!



Helllllp! Somebody call Sam Brownback!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Desecration: A True Story Ripped from Today's Headlines!

OK, so here's where I do something rare: write about my "real" life.

I live in a basement apartment in an early 20th Century row house. It's not exactly the most air-tight place, so every once in a while a mouse gets in, which I regard as absolutely the most traumatic thing about my homelife (which, I know, makes me pretty damn lucky).

Today when I got home, I caught one of those quick little scurries out of the corner of my eye. Fuck. Then I saw it several times in my living room running around, peeking around corners, mocking my very presence. It was a teeny-tiny one, the smallest I've ever seen and, yes, very cute. Arrrrrgh.

Let's backtrack a few steps, OK? I've got this old American flag which I recently dragged out of the drawer. It's an ugly one, made out of cheap nylon and faded several steps away from the red and blue standards favored by support-our-troops magnet manufacturers and decal-makers. I had it out because I was thinking of using it for some photo backdrops, and today it was, I admit, rather unceremoniously dumped in a pile on the floor. What can I say? I'm a very patriotic person, but the American flag has never really wormed its way into my heart. I've always been a materialist in the traditional sense of the word, so I never bought into the whole "the flag is patriotism made flesh" ideology.

But... ZIP! Across the floor scurried the mouse! And into the little flag-pile on the carpet!

Call it a panic response, but I jumped up and grabbed the nearest thing... a stack of vinyl records, and tossed it mercilously onto the flag-pile-with-mouse. Thinking that if I was in for a penny I might as well be in for a pound, I grabbed another stack of records and threw them on, too.

So now I have this wadded up flag containing a presumably dead mouse covered by a couple of stacks of records in the middle of my living room floor, and thanks to the magic of photoblogging™, you can enjoy the sight, too!



Soooo.... now what the hell do I do?

(Bonus! Yes, I did think of putting more photogenic album covers on the top of the stacks, but then I decided to keep it real. On the left is Slave's incredible 1977 funk masterpiece The Hardness of the World, and on the right is a very strange inspirational/religious album from 1967. To say that a whole entire record of a guy with a hairlip preaching is uneasy listening would be an understatement. Also barely visible are two Meat Puppets LPs, No More Heroes by the Stranglers, and Gyrate by Pylon.)

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Happy Feet



I've never met the sassy youngster in the above photos, but he's a Pony Pal™ by default. What's he doing? Why, he's dancing --and cutting a mean ol' rug from the looks of it-- on Ronald Reagan's grave. The intrepid discoholic then triumphantly posted the photos on this message board, and now Wing-Nut Daily has her panties all in a bunch over it. And they're out for blood. Or jail. Or an anti-Republican-grave-desecration ammendment, or something. Just wait 'til Anne Coulter hears about this, then the fur will really fly. And it almost goes without saying that twinkle-toes gets extra style points for the AC/DC t-shirt.

But wait! That's not all! Here he is again, peeing on Nixon's grave:



Ah, youth!

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sparkle Pony Grooming Secrets Revealed

Two sparkley hooves up... way up! Well, you've heard me say that before, but how, exactly, are these sparkley hooves achieved? Will any kind of glitter do, or are there special equine-centric sparkleproducts? The latter, of course:



Yes, there is indeed a product called Twinkle Toes Hoof Polish. And that's not all:



Also, what could be more metaphorically rich than a glittery, patriotically-themed horse butt?