OMG, it's been driving me bonkers, that whole thing about how everyone thinks John McCain is a moderate when, like, he's so not. Kids say he's a maverick and I'm all, WTF? But I finally figured it out when I was reviewing the most recent wire photos of the Silver Fox. I kept getting the eerie feeling that something was... different. Look at the above picture from Tuesday. Notice anything missing? Here, look at him earlier today in Iowa stumping for Rep. Jim Nussle:
Don't get it yet? OK, here's another shot. Ask yourself what Jim Nussle has that McCain lacks (other than Christian fundamentalist support):
Still don't get it? OK, it's a thing most Republican politicians rarely leave home without. Bill Frist's got one:
Tom DeLay never makes a public appearance without one:
The President even makes sure his outerwear has one:
That's right! John McCain doesn't wear flag-themed lapel pins! This is HUGE! And that's what's doing it, that's why people look at him on Face the Press, or whatever, and say, "There's something different about that there Republican." But there isn't!
Of course I was tremendously relieved to discover that McCain doesn't totally eschew patriotic accessories. Oh, no, he might be a maverick, but he isn't stupid. Regard:
U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ), wearing a bracelet reading 'Support Our Troops,' shakes hands at a booksigning in Lebanon, New Hampshire April 8, 2006. Senator McCain, who is considered a possible Republican presidential candidate, visited the first-in-the-nation primary state of New Hampshire to sign copies of his new book and participate in a town hall style meeting with U.S. congressman Charlie Bass (R-NH). REUTERS/Brian SnyderHe's totally unstoppable.
EDIT: Hello, New Republic readers! Yes, yes... one of you pointed out that Frist and Nussle are wearing their congressional pin thingees. And thus, tragically, the entire oh-so-clever post pretty much collapses like a house of cards, proving that I should stick with what I know best (Condi, natch). But what does it all mean? Are flag pins on their way out? Please advise.
10 comments:
um.i figured it out before you told us..thank god, I thought I was losing my marbles for a sec :P
Why does McCain appear to have such a tiny hand? I mean, his fingers don't even reach the end of the other guy's palm? Is this "code" for something?
Actually Frist and Nussle are wearing their congressional pins.
No, the other guy was huge.
I believe McCain's hands are seriously impaired as a result of torture in Vietnam. So he isn't gripping the other guy's hand, he's just holding his hand out.
" Actually Frist and Nussle are wearing their congressional pins."
Wow, you are totally right! Could it be that the involuntary flag lapel pin's days are numbered?
McCain's hands look tiny because they are. They're little and soft and kinda puffyish and creepy looking and covered with liver spots. They look like the hands of Emperor Palpatine's Mini Me. And he has a really weak handshake.
I don't believe his hands were affected by torture at all. I do know he can't raise his arms above shoulder level because of it.
McCain's cheeks are puffy because they are stretched from having Bush and Cheney's balls in them so many times.
He's as bad as those rats.
Moderate, my ass.
Isn't McCain about 80-years-old by now?
"Isn't McCain about 80-years-old by now?"
Actually He's the actual mummy the 1932 movie popularized. He's just been wandering around so long that all his bandages wore off.
This also explains why he's not afraid to walk the streets of Baghdad. Bullets can't stop him. You have to burn the scroll with the spell that brought him to life.
McCain doesn’t need no frickin lapel pin to prove he’s a fascist zombie.
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