Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Updo! Updo! Updo!

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) hosts a dinner as she sits with French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy in New York. Foreign ministers from world powers held intensive discussions on Iran 's controversial nuclear program, a US spokesman said, but there was no sign whether they made any progress on a unified position(AFP/Stan Honda)
As if in response to the challenge presented by the recent lowering of the Hairdo Alert System to its lowest, most boring rung, Condi had an updo night last night! Can you believe it? Do you think her hairdresser reads the Pink Pony and heard our anguished pleas for hairdo differentiation? But wait! Her funtastic NY adventure wasn't over yet, because then it was time to go and be Belle of the Ball at Time Magazine's "100 Most Superfantastic People" thingee. Are you ready for the dress? I think you're ready for the dress:

Hmmm... what do you think of the off-the-shoulder look? I'm a little disturbed. She's reminding me a little bit of the Borg Queen in that Star Trek: The Next Generation movie in that dress. Let's look at the whole thing:

Well, OK. Black Taffeta. I think it's OK, but would it kill her stylists to acknowledge that the Secretary of State has breasts? I mean, are they strapping 'em down with duct tape or what? Let's talk about Condi's date. Oh dear:

That's Jim Kelly, Time's Managing Editor. Let's hope that they're just posing together, and he wasn't really her date. Or was he? Wait, maybe this was her date:

Ha ha! Princess Ferragamo 'n' Ralph Nader? I don't think so. That dress is unsafe at any speed.

OMG, like I said, Monday was the most Condiriffic Monday EVER, and believe it or not, I'm not done yet, as there's one more activity from yesterday which remains uncovered. Stay tuned!

UPDATE: A couple of people commented upon Condi's piano-keyboard-themed purse. Is it a Judith Leiber? It looks like one. Was it custom-made for her? Oh how WASPy.


Anonymous said...

Bad taste. Totally bad taste all around. I wouldn't let my kids dress their dolls in her formless attire. Maybe the same committee that chooses her dresses is in charge of national policy and international policy.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Let's not fail to mention Condi's darling little piano key evening bag.
Alas, the poor dear is a titless wonder. Victoria's Secret could have amped up those pitiful little anthills.

Unknown said...

Sweet Jesus KZ..you take no prisoners do you girl :P

That fabric is for proms isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Although she loses major points with that awful dress, she gets them back and then some with the purse. Wish we had a closeup view of that. I want it.

Anonymous said...

Oooh that handbag is quite nifty isn't it? I bet she was practicing the fingerwork of various piano solo's on it during the boring bits of the night.

Karen Zipdrive said...

The fabric looks more suited to lawn n' leaf bags.

Anonymous said...

Princess Condi seyzz:
"Ebony and Ivory ,
Live together in perfect harmony, On my Judith Leiber custom made piano purse keyboard,
Oh Lord ,
Why can't wheeeee?"

webmuse said...

Isn't there something in the Constitution that forbids high-ranking members of the government from carrying piano key purses and other kitsch items? I swear there is.

Lulu Maude said...

The dress could be useful... you could use it as a serving tray for candy corn at Halloween.

Esri Rose said...

I kind of like the dress. But see the way her breasbone shows all the way across her shoulders? Girl is thin. That's why there's no tittage there.