Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Gay Aaron Schock™ Roundup!

The good news for Gay Aaron Schock™ is that he's gotten plenty of attention since making several queeny and fussy appearances at the GOP convention, appearances in which he enthused over Paul Ryan's abs and... other gay stuff. I mean guy stuff! Sorry about that.

Remember when I told you about Gay Aaron Schock's™ Google problem, a problem which I'm a bit embarrassed to say I had no small part in creating? To paraphrase Dan Savage, it didn't get better. As of this writing, my ridiculous yet true "everyone knows he's def gay" post is by far the most visited page on this blog, and Wonkette's reblogging of it is the top referring page, sating the curiosity of Gaydar Schock sufferers nationwide. Basically, since the convention, this website has been more or less a constant Gay Aaron Schock™ Pride Parade. Elsewhere on the web recently... well, see for yourself:

  • The Washington Times, of all things, just published a long, very critical piece on Schock, in which they invited the Club for Growth to comment on his supposed liberalness. What's hilarious is that they don't mention the Gay Aaron Schock™ gay rumors outright, but instead ever-so-slyly refer to his penchant for pink clothing, link to a Gawker lolgay piece, and, yes, show the infamous teal belt photo. Subtle! The whole thing is a glorious masterpiece of dog-whistle gay-baiting.
  • Chicagoist just rehashes Gay Aaron Schock™ rumors, pointlessly, and keeps the dream alive!
  • Queerty does the same thing, but with flair: "Normally we’d say it’s offensive to assume anything about a man’s sexuality by the color of his belt. But Schock supports DOMA and opposed the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell—given how many anti-gay Republicans turn out to be closet cases, we’d have to say it’s a reasonable line of questioning." Most tantalizing is the following comment: "Aaron Schock IS gay. A friend of mine who used to be very active with the Boston Log Cabin Republicans told me he used to use the DC chapter of LCR as a personal dating pool, using various excuses such as “fundraisers” and “rallies” to get to know the guys. This was before all the gay rumors, when he was under the radar and hadn’t “come out” on the scene with his photo spreads and pink shirts." 
  • The Austin Chronicle's hairdresser blog reminds us, because I guess somebody has to, that Schock denies that "he's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy." 
  •, unforgivably, refers to Gay Aaron Schock™ as Hottie McHotterson. Oops, I vomited.

Annnnd it just goes on from there, over and over, world without end. It is fucking hilarious.


Fran said...

All I know is this... I see Aaron Schock's picture, and I can't control it, Sylvester is singing "You make me feel, mighty real," in a very persistent, and probably gay, earworm-y way.

Peteykins said...

Ha ha ha! "Gay Aaron Schock™ makes me hear Sylvester in my head!"

What more evidence do you need?

Matty Boy said...

So getting all SAT question format on the topic, Princess Sparkle Pony is to Gay Aaron Schock™ as Dan Savage is to the definition of Santorum.

Feel the pride.

Peteykins said...

Nawww... I don't think that's true. I'm hardly the only blogger to write about Gay Aaron Schock's obvious gayness.

Fran said...

True enough, but you did it first, and hands down, you do it best.

BTW, I (ashamedly) watched the USA network short series, Political Animals this summer. There was a gay Aaron Schock character in it, albeit very briefly. But it was him!

Peteykins said...

I didn't do it first, either. By the time I wrote about the infamous Teal Belt, it had already traveled halfway around the web and back. It had already been on Gawker, Blogactive, etc.

z7q2 said...

I'm nominating you for the Explanatory Reporting Pulitzer, Petey. It's this kind of piss your pants it's so fucking funny writing that the world needs so much more of.

samael7 said...

"Schock denies that "he's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy."

So, he's, what, country & western line-dancing, Edmund White-reading, Madonna-concertgoing, fellating-another-man-kind?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Funny, when I see a picture of him the song "It's Raining Men" pops into my head.
Fran, we must go to different discos.