(Photo via Gawker)
Oh, jeez, right. You've seen the picture above by now, haven't you? It's Aaron Schock, Republican congressman from Illinois, at a party dolled up in an outfit unanimously declared by the internets as totally, totally, unbelievably, unequivocally hairdresserish.
Let's cut to the chase: the internets are correct.
Also! Aaron Schock is a dick.
Consciences cleared, let's rip this fey, trendy outfit to shreds.
First of all, the shirt. I've gone from zero to really sick of gingham, this year's compulsory pattern, in about four months this year. This shirt is particularly annoying because the gingham pattern to supersized to novelty proportions. Note, too, the construction: it appears to be fitted, likely with seams in the back. That and the lack of a pocket make it a good choice for Schock to showcase his impressive pecs and abs, something he frequently does, and hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, right? It's simply pure Twinkie™ logic, as is the one-button-unbuttoned-too-many strategy. I mean, honestly, did he think he was at JR's?
And, for goodness' sake, it's violet. Not only is this blatantly gay, but also this-season trendy for menswear. I browsed at Sak's recently, and what I mostly took away from the experience was WHY ARE THEY ALL TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE ME WEAR VIOLET? I was irritated.
And you know what else is hyper trendy right now? 80s revival cloth belts. These are illegal in my world, in part because they are cheap and ugly, but also because they honestly are too gay for me, a blogger who uses the pseudonym Princess Sparkle Pony. The preciousness of Schock's color scheme here, with the bright turquoise popping so stridently with the similarly-keyed violet, is again just so goddamn Twinkie™ that it practically screams OMG THE NEW SCISSOR SISTERS ALBUM JUST CAME OUT AND SO DID I!
Finally, the trousers. As I commented on Gawker, we used to call those "hustler white jeans." Enough said!
So, in conclusion, yes, Aaron Schock's outfit is truly, madly, deeply gay. And trendy. But mainly gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Granted, this could mean one of two things: Schock is gay, or he has a nelly stylist who dresses him. Evidence strongly suggests the former is correct.
And this makes him even more of a dick.