Thursday, June 05, 2008

Quickie: Jeff Gannon Backpedals

Remember the other day when people got momentarily distracted by erstwhile PonyPenPal™ Jeff Gannon's coy claim that he "knew Scott [McClellan] better than any other White House correspondent or Washington reporter"?

Maybe Jeff got a little nervous about the response? Here's the only sentence which matters from Jeffy's latest blog post (whoops, I forgot to link to it):

Scott knew nothing about my personal life, nor did anyone at the White House.

And for once, I think he's being honest! I never bought any of the Gannon conspiracy theories (hey, look through my archives if you doubt me). I was always sure he was merely a hack and an idiot, not a "plant."

But then, of course, Jeff goes that extra mile to try and claim a little extra absolution from not being mentioned in McClellan's book:

I am in no way disappointed not to have been mentioned in Scott McClellan’s book. In fact, I am pleased. The liberal slanders of “fake reporter”, “administration shill” and “press plant” are rendered null and void as the result of McClellan’s silence. For all of its bitter whining, flawed premises and inaccurate conclusions, McClellan’s book is a vindication for Jeff Gannon.

Ha, ha! Vindication for the "plant" part, Jeff, but not for "prostitute" part*! Nice try!

*Or, obviously, for the "douchebag" part. Or the "pretending to be a Marine" part.


FranIAm said...

Backpedaling indeed!

Jeff backpedaling brings to mind images of pushy bottom being even more pushy.

I don't really have the stomach for that image so early in the day.

Matty Boy said...

Not being mentioned vindicates Jeff Gannon.

You can bet your bottom dollar that being mentioned would have vindicated Jeff Gannon as well.

It's 21st Century conservatism at its finest, where anything that happens is a victory. Look at the shining example of this theory, Iraq!

Jess Wundrun said...

Jeff proves he's Old School conservative by referring to himself in the third person. Bob Dole is rolling over in his grave.

Wait, what?

karenzipdrive said...

Maybe he didn't mention him because he didn't recall him being there...or maybe because they are actually buddies in real life.

dguzman said...

Way to spin it, Jeffy! He obviously missed his calling as a carny--running the Zipper, natch!

Steve said...

Gannon Guckert, Gannon Guckert, Gannon Guckert.

Recite that whenever you discover you stepped on a crack. It wards off bad luck.

smapdi said...

I heart you PSP.

Muscato said...

In twenty years or so somebody will do a "where are they now?" featurette that will inform an uncaring world that Jeff and his longtime companion, Matt Sanchez, have been running a B&B somewhere in the midwest for more than a decade.

A scary, bitter, self-abnegating B&B modeled on the Bates Motel.

Until then, it's best just to avert one's eyes.

DuPree said...

Jesus Christ, Jeff - that's just so wrong. A Beanie Baby in camouflage is bad enough - a Beanie Baby and a smiling head shot when the world has seen your manly bits is just in bad taste.

Tough guy said...

Jeff Gannon has tits of steel.

Distributorcap said...

you mean jeff gannon is not a REAL journalist?

karenzipdrive said...

Oh dear sweet Pony, please post enough new entries to send this guy's hideous photo into the archives.
He looks like a pink egg with bad teeth and overplucked eyebrows.
And the Beanie Baby in fatigues is just too maudlin and corny to have to see.
I'm not a violent person nor a gun owner, but I wouldn't mind trying to shoot that bear off his sloped shoulder with an M-16.

eureka said...

By God, that's his mini-Me!

Anonymous said...

>By God, that's his mini-Me!

And that is kinda worth seeing.


Shelly Amber said...

Hey Spark,
I also have the unfortunate curiosity of reading Gannon/Guckert's web site on a weekly or so basis.

The entry (no pun...) where he brags about listening to Dick Cheney at the National Press Club Dinner, of which he is a member (really??...geez), especially peaked my humor.

I sent Jeffie an email asking "How even look at food while Dick Cheney was speaking?" I frankly would puke.

I then said, "Well, I guess due to your former profession, you can eat with a dick in front of you..."