Thursday, April 12, 2007

Condi 'n' Walnuts: Together at Last


Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, right, reaches out to shake hands with Republican Presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., prior to their speaking with reporters about Iraq, Thursday, April 12, 2007, at the end of their meeting at the State Department in Washington. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)


OMG, why didn't I think of this before? They're perfect for each other! Maybe Condi's the pony McCain was searching for earlier? I'm assuming their conversation went something like this:

Walnuts: So the Iraq thing, that's all going great, right?
Condi: Oh, gosh yes, Wally, swimmingly. You don't mind if I call you Wally, do you?
Walnuts: As long as you call me!
Condi: [LOLs]
Walnuts: OK, so Nancy Pelosi really is...
Condi: ...a bitch, yes.
Walnuts: I was going to say a cow.
Condi: Don't use animal metaphors; you suck at them.
Walnuts: Well, OK, but "bitch" is also technically...
Condi: Be quiet and smile for the photographers, Wally.

Yay! Try not to think of the specifics of their imminent coupling, however, because that can only end in tears and violent nausea.

Oh, and the "Walnuts" thing? If, for some reason, you haven't seen it yet, be sure to view the third-party ad for McCain which started that whole thing. Seriously, I've watched it dozens of times, and it never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

16 comments:

Civic Center said...

Thanks for the "Walnuts" link. It is my absolute favorite YouTube look at a politician EVER.

Anonymous said...

Query for horticultural specialists: what is the bouquet in the bowl between them? Lillys of the field?

Thank you.

Peteykins said...

It looks like they are, in fact, lilies. They totally symbolize Condi's purity, OK?

Anonymous said...

I think that is not a bowl of flowers but a very large gemstone and corsage ring Wally had specially made for Condi.

You know, like those awkward wrist corsages but for the finger. Only a woman with her finger on the pulse of the entire world is digitally dexterious enough to carry such a thing off.

Wally knows.

Matthew Hubbard said...

Let me be the first to speculate that this is CondiBot having trouble with the handshake algorithm again.

Anonymous said...

PSP you have just given me nightmare material for hte next three monthes....uggg Wall n Condi is worse than Dubya and Condi.....eww now I have a three way scenario *gag*

Lulu Maude said...

It looks as if Walnut has followed Condi's lead and sent his own 'bot.
The two are strangely, mechanically disengaged.

Anonymous said...

Yes, this condibot (Condibot Mark II) does have trouble with teh hand shaking algorithum, however both condibot Mark I and III are experiencing profound system failures in executing anything other than braying laughter in the presence of walnuts mccain having accedentally plugged into the utube stream mentioned previously...

dguzman said...

Whoa, at first I thought the WalnutBot had worn a huge gray cyber-leg for "war-hero" effect. But sometimes a microphone is just a microphone....

liquiddaddy said...

I believe the bouque in question are easter lillies. Less a symbol of Condie's purity than exaultation of Zombie Jesus Day.

The meeting seemed to be for the purpose of letting us know that explosions in the parliment are a clear sign of progress, and to expect more "progress" in the future, including "rockets in the green zone."

LD

samael7 said...

Let me be the first to speculate that this is CondiBot having trouble with the handshake algorithm again.

Agreed, I think we're all starting to see a pattern here.

Speaking of patterns *swigs a cosmo*, would they PLEASE change the chairs in that room to something other than Republican White?

Every time Condi or the 'Bot sits on one of those, her skin/silicone flesh covering washes out like a three-day old corpse freshly dredged up from the river. Ghastly, and I mean that most strongly in the Old English gāst (ghost) origin of the word.

And in her 1980's vampire red too. *tsk*

Mariamariacuchita said...

Hilarious video of "Walnus." Great blog!

Anonymous said...

Despite the evident handshake issues, I do feel there are signs that la Dotoressa is at last taking some heed of our criticisms of the bot's legs-akimbo sitting postures - so much so that she has apparently snapped its right ankle in an effort, vain alas, to have it seem less gangly...

Jessica said...

Condibot says, "Hey. Hey, Walnuts. Pull my finger."

Alicia Morgan said...

"You look at me when I'm talking to you, mister!"

"La la la. I can't hear you..."

I love the Walnuts video!!!!

Unknown said...

Fabulous video..thanks m'dear PSP.