Pony Pals™ far and wide (OK, two emails and two coworkers) want me to comment on Jack Abramoff's peculiar fashion choices. Um... he dresses beautifully? He's a good-looking man with great hair? Gee, this isn't really all that much fun.
Can we talk instead about Robin Givhan's article in the Washington Post about Jack Abramoff's fashions? Sure, Givhan hasn't actually written the article yet, but fear not, she will. And when will this as-yet-unwritten feature run in the Post's peculiarly unstylish Style section? It's a little too late for this week, so I'm guessing very early next week. What else can I tell you about Givhan's article which she hasn't written yet?
- It will include at least one reference to Dick Tracy and, thereby, Warren Beatty.
- The word "gangster" will by bandied about, offset by two or more uses of "elegant."
- The maker and price of the black trenchcoat will be discussed, as well as tips on where to get your own.
- Shoes will not be mentioned. Men's shoes never are (unless they're the Pope's).
- Givhan will call the Fedora "old-fashioned", but then contradict herself later in the article with quotes from stylists who reveal that men's hats "are back!" Nobody, however, will defend the beige ballcap he wore today (see below)
I can't wait until the article exists to see how many I got right! Stay tuned!
UPDATE: As the cropped but undoctored file photo below from last year dramatically proves, Mr. Abramoff isn't nearly as sexy as you want him to be:
Nice pleats! Despite Ms. Givhan's future ramblings, Jack Abramoff is, in fact, a slob who hires an expensive stylist for his court dates and photo sessions. So much for my prison fantasies.
UPDATE: How did I do with my predictions? Terribly. Find out how terribly here.
UPDATE: How did I do with my predictions? Terribly. Find out how terribly here.
12 comments:
I really like that fedora and coat. It does say style way more than a pink shirt with the collar up ever could. You are so right about the article Mistress Pink Pony, you will no doubt post an update for those of us who don't read the paper?
I totally agree, Tori. Also, I'm really sorry I had to update this post with that picture that shows that he's really an unsexy slob. What. A. Disappointment.
What's really sad about that last photo is that it now proves that Jack can safely "drop the soap" in the prison shower. Pity. He deserved worse.
Fat slobs MUST wear black. That's just fat slob fashion sense! Princess Sparkle Pony, I'm linking you up over at my blog. I need more fashion awareness in my life...
Dear Princess: He's an evil, overweight Jewish gangster, but you were right the first time. He exudes sexiness in the James Gandolfini mode and the old-fashioned fedora and trenchcoat only sealed the deal. Continue your prison fantasies.
No. Put some long, curly sideburns on the man and you have a fat, Jewish Hassidic dude going to his nephew's bar mitzvah.
He's a well-fed slob who fucked this country for years.
Throw the bum in jail and make him eat ham and eggs, fried in the same pan.
Schmuck!
P.S.
Last time I saw a man in that outfit, it was Saddam Hussein.
Umm... for the record, I am not very pleased with the content of some of these comments.
Nominations are now open for the bloggies at 2006.bloggies.com - I nominated PSP for Craft, Entertainment, Politics, Humorous, Writing, New, and Weblog of the Year. Let's all pitch in, PonyPals™, and get the Princess a silly-sounding award that no one cares about!
Sorry, Princess. Please delete my rude comment. And congratulations on being, uh, honored by Pajamas Media. Your Humble PonyPal.
"Umm... for the record, I am not very pleased with the content of some of these comments."
next time don't post about fashion tips on a such criminal..
one supersedes the other...MUCH...
I hope he gets an equal dose the same sickness he's created.
Hope the dude has an American Indian cellie, who is twice his size.
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