That's Tom Feeney, above, the Florida representative and erstwhile Jack Abramoff golfing partner. I've been looking at pictures of the not-at-all crazy-looking Republican, and I've come to the conclusion that he may have the worst manhair in Congress. The really heartbreaking thing is that it doesn't have to be that way!
Here's the problem: Mr. Feeney seems to apply gobs of sticky gel to his curly tresses, and must be doing so without the knowledge of his hairdresser. He's hairdo hotdogging, in other words. See the blobby mass for yourself:
Ew, right? And see, since his otherwise perfectly fine hair is a little on the thin side, the gooey gel makes it clump together, allowing generous portions of his scalp to show through. This is NOT cute:
See? You can see the whole roundness of his scalp! And if there were no product, or different product, and cut a little shorter, it wouldn't do that! I'm very upset about this!
This man clearly has problems:
Honey, please see a professional for hair product advice STAT! Oh, and good luck with that FBI investigation thingy, too.