Monday, December 08, 2014

Jennifer Rubin Wins Again!


As you know, the coveted "worst sentence ever published in the Washington Post" award has been bouncing back and forth between Jennifer Rubin and Richard Cohen for years now. The title is currently held by Rubin, but that doesn't mean she can't top herself! Regard this amazing sentence from her latest defense of Jeb Bush:

His remark last week concerning how he would have to run the presidential race if he jumped in and the reaction to it indicate how unhinged the far-right, shutdown squad sliver of the GOP electorate is than it is of his campaign vision. 

Would any of you like to volunteer to diagram that for me?

UPDATE: Twitter friend Hannah Draper gamely gave it a try:

(Click for bigger.)

I am amazed.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love that the diagram is on toilet paper. Touche', Hannah. Touche'.

-tasha

Peteykins said...

I complimented her on that, too, but alas, it's paper towel. Still, though!

Diane Griffin said...

Oh, that lonely comma.

samael7 said...

Sentence subjects: how do they work?

"His remark last week concerning how he would have to run the presidential race if he jumped in -- and the reaction to it -- indicate how unhinged the far-right, shutdown-squad sliver of the GOP electorate is, than it is of his campaign vision."

Punctuation added for sanity. I think this is Jennifer starting off by talking about Jeb Bush's moderate appeal . . .

. . . and then poor Jen-Jen suddenly realizing how rabid the GOP is these days and how much they'd tear Jeb apart in debates for his non-rabid stances on things like immigration . . .

. . . and then veryquicklytellingherself that, no no! That's just a far-right, fringe, sliver, itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie, yellow-polka-dot-bikini MINISCULE part of the GOP that would do that, and not the whole damn party . . .

. . . which she damn well knows isn't true, thus collapsing her syntax down to this dwarf-star turd of a nugget so dense, her disbelief field collapses anyway.

Anonymous said...

I still don't understand the sentence. Wouldn't it have to be "is more indicative of" instead of "indicates"? For the "than it is of his campaign vision" to fit in at all?

hooverific said...

if you can convince youself the battle is half won. Poor Jen is still under siege.

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

Concerning the ball having been thrown to Jane being visible upon completion, the commencement of the act of running occurred.

Anonymous said...


Ms. Rubin, I appreciate the effort, but your attempts at run-on sentences are amateurish at best. Let the Queen show you how it's really done...

"Aren’t you the same anti-beef screamers blogging hate from your comfy leather office chairs, wrapped in your fashionable leather belts above your kickin’ new leather pumps you bought because your celebrity idols (who sport fur and crocodile purses) grinned in a tabloid wearing the exact same Louboutins exiting sleek cowhide covered limo seats on their way to some liberal fundraiser shindig at some sushi bar that features poor dead smelly roe (that I used to strip from our Bristol Bay-caught fish, and in a Dillingham cannery I packed those castoff fish eggs for you while laughing with co-workers about the suckers paying absurdly high prices to party with the throw away parts of our wild seafood)? I believe you call those discarded funky eggs “caviar”."
-from Mooselini's very own ShoutyFace Page.

...now THAT, Ms. Rubin, is a SENTENCE!