Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Aunts And Uncles Agree: Nieces And Nephews LOVE Callista Gingrich's Boring Elephant Books

So I was curious about how well the Goddess Callista's latest literary endeavor, the third installment of her lightweight patriotic elephant toddler pacifiers, has been doing. It didn't make the NY Times Bestseller List, which the previous two had, and its numbers on Amazon are unimpressive. Could it be that children coast to coast were not falling in love with the feeble pachyderm?

In any event, it doesn't seem like very many people are buying the latest book. But who is buying it? From what I can tell, mostly aunts and uncles. Here are some excerpts from the reviews on Amazon:

  • "My 5 nieces and nephews have loved following Ellis the Elephant in Gingrich's first two books..."
  • "...also such a great gift to all my nieces and nephews."
  • "I cant wait to read it to both my nephews!"
  • "Will keep buying this book for my nieces and nephews and special people in my life."
  • "My Nephew loves Ellis!"
  • "Ellis the elephant does it again! He is so beloved by my nieces to pieces!"
  • "I love to read to my nieces and nephew when I visit them, and the Ellis books are some of their favorites."

Special message to Thomas, James, Daniel, Jack, and Amelia: I promise I won't ever do that to you. I'm just not that kind of uncle.


Aunt Snow said...

Somewhere, a perfectly nice couple is having an argument about those crappy right-wing books their brother-in-law keeps bringing the kids.

Dale Hoyt said...

This apropos of nothing except you must see this post by Bizarro's Don Piraro

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

So bascially, at best it's a book you by for kids that aren't yours. At worst, it's crazy uncle spam.

dianegsocialist said...

Your Royal Highness, I love my Crazy Uncle Spam.

Comradde PhysioProffe said...

It's sad that these right-wing fuckebagge aunts and uncles don't realize that their siblings are lying to them. But not surprising.

Piet said...

I promised myself I wouldn't go there, but I'm going to go there. If every single "review" is about reading to the nieces/nephews, I'd do a trace on the originating ISP. Sounds like review trolling to me. Of course, the Gingriches would be above that, but still . . .

Callista Gingrich said...

Dear Princess,
Did you have a painful childhood -- rejected by all the pleasant happy children? What explains your need to hurt others?

With affection and concern.

Your friend,