Gay Aaron Schock To Be "Primaried." Whether He'll Be Top Or Bottom Remains To Be Seen

 

It's been a while since we've checked in with Gay Aaron Schock™! On our last outing (so to speak), we all enjoyed the Club for Growth's hilarious attacks on Kid Wonderabs, in which they coyly never came right out and said "OMG, guys, he is soooo gay," but inserted so many wink winks in their Aaron bashing that people must have wondered if the Club for Growth had maybe gotten something in its eye. At the time I declared it "a masterpiece of dog-whistle gay baiting," but still I wondered if perhaps I was reading a little too much into it.

Well, wonder no more, because the Club for Growth has done it again! They've issued a fresh new fatwa against the gymtastic congressman from Peoria, citing a litany of reasons why he's just not conservative enough, etc., etc., before concluding, in a wonderfully, ingeniously veiled reference to Gay Aaron Schock™'s closet abode, "The voters of Illinois’s 18th Congressional District are not blind: they can tell when someone is pretending to be something they’re not."

Gay Aaron Schock™, who I am compelled to remind you is totally, fabulously heterosexual, pretending to be something he's not?  I can't imagine such a thing! So mean! Poor Gay Aaron Schock™!