Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Let's Pause And Reflect Upon The Depth Of The Mortification Felt By The Callista Gingrich Staffer Who Must Dress Up As The Horrible Ellis The Elephant

(Providence Journal photo / Steve Szydlowski)

There's the Goddess Callista earlier today, once again in the ill-advised company of the terrible elephant furry which doesn't even resemble the character in her earnest, dull book. Can you imagine how bored those kids were?

And, seriously, imagine what it would be like to wake up one morning and BE the staffer who knows that later that day, s/he would have to don a clammy, padded nylon ersatz elephant skin and then sit in a chair while Callista drones through Sweet Land of Liberty for the umpteenth time.

But this... this is how the Gingrich campaign is spending its time these days, by sending Callista to elementary schools and tiny college Republican club meetings in Rhode Island. It's almost like our beloved Moon Goddess, once at Newt's side at every stop, has become the "Where's Waldo?" of the 2012 campaign. Fun!

By the way, did you know that they have a great flickr feed? Yeah, me neither. It's brimming with fab Callistapix!

Her hairdo is just a little longer, a little looser, less spherical; she needs to tighten that coiffure up!

Oh, right, and Newt got bitten by a penguin, which proves that the best jokes are the obscure ones that don't have to have punchlines.

18 comments:

samael7 said...

"Nobody home but the elephant, and he's pink!"

Juliana-Chairwoman said...

WTF is the color of that suit? Seriously how does she still manage to shop in stores that sell clothes from the 80's?

I sure hope they've had that durn elephant suit dry cleaned after all these months of "book" appearances.

Fran said...

The yellow in that suit over on the Flickr stream has blinded me. Retinal burn, Callista style!

Peteykins said...

"Nobody home but the elephant, and he's already packed his trunk."

Anonymous said...

it's OLD YELLER

Lulu Maude said...

While you're at it, pity the children.

Partick said...

Nobody has commented on the camel toe / moose knuckle that the elephant is so proudly shoving in those kid's faces. What's wrong with America today?

Matty Boy said...

Partick said what needed to be said. The groinal area of Ellis the Elephant is an eyesore when he's standing and a symptom of a disease when he sits.

It can no longer be ignored.

samael7 said...

I hadn't noticed the camel toe. And now I can't stop looking at it.

And that poor young girl with the ponytail and purple scrunchie is transfixed, like the Nazis when they opened the Ark.

Face melting in 3...2...1...

Anonymous said...

my favourite Callistapix http://www.flickr.com/photos/96024429@N00/5492185682/

sleepy in saudi said...

I have always thought the elephant costume looked a little pervy.Ugh!
Pity the children, indeed!

z7q2 said...

I notice how the Goddess contorts her body to press her knees into Ellis' lumpy padded nylon shin.

Anonymous said...

I think Ellis is either drunk or sleeping. Look at his posture.

Matty Boy, your comment cracked me up!!

sleepy in saudi said...

Perhaps she is holding an asprin between her knees.

Anonymous said...

It's a particularly diabolical bondage outfit. Look how helpless the encased sub is.

karen marie said...

What's the over/under on whether Callista is having an affair with whoever is wearing the elephant rig?

Also, too, any report on the outcome of her lawsuit against the plastic surgeon who made one of her eyes larger than the other?

Fran said...

I was in the kids book section & came across her book. She fits war history in a children's book. something like they fought a war, which they won. Fighting a war is not fun.
Bloody hell- Dr. Seuss she's not!

Fran said...

Also I always have to do a double take-- is Calli with Newt or the Elephant... if in doubt-- the elephant has less of a gut, in case others are confused.

The Gingrich dou should just be up front-- they are no longer campaigning for the presidential run, they are on a book selling tour.