Saturday, August 13, 2011

The Other White Meat™

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista grill pork chops as they visited the Iowa Pork Producers tent during a campaign stop at the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines, Iowa, Friday, Aug. 12, 2011. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

One thing I love about things like the Iowa Republican Circus is that you get to see totally wonky urbanites like Newt 'n' Cally struggle to appear like jes' folks for the cameras. The Pork Tent™ was an irresistible photo-op-stop for all the candidates, and here we see a hilariously contrived scene of two Washington boutique media figures wearing branded aprons and pretending to prepare food. Other photos of the event show other candidates stepping up and flipping the pork for as long as it takes, presumably, for the Associated Press to record the moment.

The Denver Post has done us all a favor and rounded up the best wire photos of the fair. My favorite shot shows a circle of reporters creating with their cameras and microphones a sphincter from which Sarah Palin emerges:

(Max Whittaker/The New York Times)

And, of course, Ugly Tour Bus Photoblogging – Michele Bachmann edition:

(Scott Olson/Getty Images)

UPDATE: Telegraph blogger Toby Harnden captured the most magical moment of all:


She then shoved her wiener in husbeard Marcus' face:


There you have it: a graphic depiction of the Bachmanns' sex life. What fun those two have!

UPDATE: Over at Mediasnack, Frances Martel, offended, asks of the humorous wiener pic, "Is This The Best Picture Of Rep. Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog The Telegraph Could Find?" My response to Ms. Martel is how much better a picture of Michele Bachmann eating a corn dog do you want? Or is necessary?

21 comments:

John said...

"A sphincter from which Sarah Palin emerges" is my favorite phrase ever.

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of partial to this one: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/files/2011/08/Corndog1-384x288.jpg

Matty Boy said...

John beat me to it. One of the best turned PSP lines ever, a strong field to be sure.

Anonymous said...

That Bachmann photo is a gift of the gods.

sfmike said...

Wow. The scary bangs coming out of the sphincter, the foot-long dog being played with by Crazy Eyes and X-Gay, and of course the Callista and Newt with Pork. We have officially gone Beyond Surreal.

Major Mel Funkshun said...

Petey, I already stole "Evil pops it's collar" for my fantasy football teams name, but now it may have to change to "A sphincter from which Sarah Palin emerges" I guess my team will just have to have a new name every week. Thanks!

Cranky Old Batt said...

I got nothin'. This may be your best.post.ever.

Anonymous said...

Don't pretend like you don't like it Marcus.

/forced corndog porn +1

Anonymous said...

Callista should be ashamed of herself. She is sort of like an Iowan version of “Victor Victoria”, an Iowan pretending to be DC gold digger pretending to be an Iowan. I mean her hair and earrings could probably pay off a couple Iowans mortgages until the end of the year..

Sharkbabe said...

omg this place is THE reliable callista appreciation and trauma center

and thank you peteykins, for the ursula palate cleansers .. not to mention the old cartoons, and other things that actually matter, or at least more than Newt

Comrade PhysioProf said...

I'm an urban wonkedouche, and I could have totally actually cooked the motherfucken shitte out of those motherfucken porke choppes@!

Lulu Maude said...

Incredible.

I can tell Marcus likes to eat his wieners in private.

Anonymous said...

Wow..does calista's hair every move/change?? Oh, and I think Marcus doth protest too much.

Johannes der Taucher said...

What is up with the fingernails on that creature?

samael7 said...

I want everyone in the world to see these pictures. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

You are a genius.

Anonymous said...

It's big. It's brown. It's long. It's ugly. It's a Minnesota Outlaw!

kayo said...

watched a silly old Brit flick last night http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089622/ and couldn't help but notice one of the characters in "Moron From Outer Space" wears an eerie flash-forward to our dear Callista's hair helmet. http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsP/31431.gif

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

Oh wow. LOL I cannot believe they did the corndog thing!!

Lulu Maude said...

husbeard!

HAW!

jflorek said...

Heh, my friend Max took that photo of Palin. Nice one!