Thursday, February 05, 2009

Your Purity Ball Outfit is Now Compete

Remember a while ago when I told you all to rush to Kmart and buy some Abstinence Pants? Since then, of course, we've all had our Abstinence Pants in a drawer, unworn, because we just never could find the perfect top to go with them (the "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" shirt clashed). Until now:




Other designs ("EX-fornicator", "EX-Diva", "EX-Homosexual", and my favorite, "EX-Rebel", etc.) are available! In multiple colors! What could possibly be a more positive statement than saying what you aren't? Plus, I think they're inconsistent application of capitalization is kicky! AND they're totally Helveticalicious.

In a way, they're pretty clever, because I can guarantee that wearing one of those shirts would work well to help maintain an abstinence regimen.

Don't you want one? You know you do. Get one now. (via Pony Pal JoeMyGod.)

7 comments:

Steve said...

I personally think those adorable, My parents are going to get married. Any day now! baby Track tees are a whole lot cuter.

g said...

I liked the video of the girl convincing an aetheist to "give up his beliefs." Umm....that word doesn't mean what you think it means.....

samael7 said...

"Ex-Masturbator?" I don't think my current BF would appreciate it if I called up my old one for that.

Matty Boy said...

One of the wonderful things about the Jesus folk is how quick they are to forgive the repentant sinner. We should take a page from their book and welcome back to the world of the sane the people who give up this nonsense.

Matty Boy
Former EX-Masturbator

Flora said...

ROTFL - Have I ever mentioned how very much I love you for finding things like this? :-D

Lulu Maude said...

Isn't the free market WONDERFUL!

The perfect gift for everyone on your list!

Okilee Dokilee. said...

Maybe I'm just not getting it, but aren't they Ex-Masturbators because they found each other ? I'm choosing to go with that interpretation, it's sexier.